A Soukyuu no Fafner fanfiction—Flow Over the Azure
Disclaimer: I don't own Soukyuu no Fafner and such thing will never happen.
Genre(s): Angst/Hurt/Comfort
Character(s): Kazuki/Soushi
A/N: Be careful for possibility of AUish and AR. Well, I think most of my fics are AUish and AR… ah well. That's why I call this a fanfic.
How long had it been since Soushi left the island?
How long had it been since the peace that lay on Tatsumiya Island was broken by the creature called Festums?
And how long had it been since their lives changed forever?
Two years huh, Soushi. And yet you still haven't shown your face now and then. You promised to comeback.
You promised me to come back and that we would talk… really kind of talk… I've been waiting for you in uncertainty and doubt… yet I could feel you somewhere out there…
You're alive; yet at the same time you're dead.
What should I do, Soushi? What should I do? Should I wait for you or should I just disappear just like I always wanted to?
Answer me, Soushi. Because you are my answer. Answer it for me now… because I have no much more of time left…
My time and my life are progressing down…
I want to see you. I want to touch you. I want to talk to you… Soushi… my last chance…
Fumihiko Makabe flipped a page of his book. Finally he gave up and slamming it closed. He sighed, and then his hand reached out to a picture on his desk.
The picture of his Akane and little Kazuki. Fumihiko stared at it for a moment after finally he let his tears out.
"Akane…" he whispered softly, caressing the picture on his hand gently. "I'm sorry… I can't… protect Kazuki like you wished…"
Fumihiko's mind drifted back to the conversation he had last night with Toomi-sensei.
It was the truth.
His son was slowly but surely going to his own death. And he couldn't do anything to prevent this.
Was he even deserved to be called as a father?
"I'm sorry, Makabe, but at this rate, Kazuki-kun's body wouldn't last for more than a year," Toomi's words were as if jeering at him. "The phenomenon assimilation was surprisingly fastening its rate of injection to Kazuki-kun's internal body system, and—"
"How about the medicines?" Fumihiko abruptly interrupted.
Toomi-sensei sighed as she turned her eyes to the other direction, "That's the problem. Kazuki-kun's body is now incentive to medicines. Medicines wouldn't help much."
"How long does he have if we keep giving him the medicines?" Fumihiko inquired.
"Probably… only a year and a month," Toomi reluctantly answered. "I'm sorry…"
Fumihiko's body was slightly trembling as he brought the picture on to his chest.
"Forgive me for me sending Kazuki to his death this fast, Akane," he murmured. "I was 'using' him in the name of 'protect' this island and the people… but in the end I ended up killing him."
This was right. He was a hypocrite. He used the word 'protect' as his shield.
They had won against the Festums, but they had lost to their lives.
Kazuki is dying…
"Kazuki-kun!"
Kazuki turned from the window, facing Toomi Maya in front of him. Maya smiled as she approached Kazuki.
"Kazuki-kun, what are you thinking about?" Maya set herself down on the chair beside Kazuki.
"Nothing much." Kazuki shook his head, hand subconsciously touching his bandage on his right eye. "It's just… Soushi."
Maya sighed and followed Kazuki's eyes to the window again. "I see… you haven't talked much with him, have you?"
"Yeah." Kazuki nodded slowly.
"We have lost lot of our friends from the battles," Maya said softly. "But yet, here we are… alive. Kazuki-kun, how is your body doing?"
Kazuki stared down on his desk at this. "I don't… really know. Dad hasn't told me much but I'm taking medicines regularly."
And they are useless. I know I'm dying. The look Dad gave me every day… he was trying to tell me but he just couldn't. It really would be easier if he talked to me.
I just want to talk to Soushi before I disappear…
That's all I want.
On his way home from school that day, Kazuki finally found what he had been searching for all this time.
He saw Soushi. It can't be, but it was really Soushi.
Those eyes, they were Soushi's.
The bitter smile he saw was all Soushi's. But how it could be? Soushi wasn't in the island. He was far away in a place which people didn't even know.
And then he realised it. He was floating.
"Soushi…?" Kazuki called out in disbelief. "Soushi, is it you…?"
"Kazuki." The word tasted so sweet on Kazuki's ears. "Kazuki."
"Soushi!" Kazuki yelled, rushing to the figure in front of him. "Soushi! I've been waiting for you! I—"
Suddenly the street and trees around him vanished, replaced by a dark whirls. Kazuki stopped and panicky looking around.
"What?" he mused. "What happened? Where are we?"
"This is your world," Soushi smiled, grabbing Kazuki's hand. "Our world. Follow me and I will take you to the paradise. Close your eyes."
Kazuki did as he was told to and feeling a cold running through his chest to his stomach.
"Open your eyes," Soushi told Kazuki softly. And he did.
A field of flowers and trees spread over in front of him. His eyes widened. Colourful flowers and blowing breeze played his hair.
"Very… beautiful…"
"Yeah." Now Soushi looked solid beside him. "This is the paradise. Your paradise. Our paradise."
"Paradise…?" Kazuki repeated doubtfully. "Am I… dead?"
Soushi gave his back to Kazuki as he walked forward. "You decide about that whether you die or not."
"What do you mean?" Kazuki quickly demanded.
"Do you want to die now?" slowly, Soushi turning to Kazuki again. The raven blinked. "Kazuki, do you want to die now? What do you want now?"
"I…" Kazuki was stunned. "Soushi, I just want to talk to you… I have no much of time left. I'm dying."
"And so am I." Soushi immediately gave his reply. "What do you want to talk about? Let's talk here. Let's talk now."
"Ah…" now Kazuki was awkward. It was always very difficult for him to only say that one simple word. It was always very, very difficult to him.
"Well?" Soushi stared at Kazuki questioningly.
"I… I'm sorry," finally Kazuki whispered, clenching his fist. "For what I did to your eye. I always wanted to say sorry to you, but I…"
"I'm not angry at you nor blaming you, you know," Soushi sighed. "Instead, I thanked you that you did it. If you didn't, I would have killed you that time."
"But still…!" Kazuki looked up to the brunette, frowning. "Soushi, why…!"
"I thanked you, didn't I say?" asked Soushi, approaching Kazuki. "Now I want to ask you. Are you willing to go back or to stay in here with me, and with the other, forever?"
"What?" Kazuki's eyes widened in surprise. "Soushi…"
Fumihiko gritted his teeth. It had been almost five hours since Maya found Kazuki on the street, unconscious. Blood slowly drained off from his skin, replaced by a pale white skin. Toomi-sensei put him in the medical's centre incubator tube.
And still he didn't show any progress. Instead, his condition went worse than before.
"But you said that he will have at least another one year…" Fumihiko stared at his son's limp figure in front of him blankly.
"I did," Toomi said somberly. "It seems like that Kazuki-kun… had decided his time now."
"What do you mean?" Fumihiko snapped at Toomi.
"Makabe-san, right now… he is currently at the line whether he will come back… or will go forever. He is with Minashiro-kun right now."
"It can't be…?" Fumihiko's voice trailed off.
"Yes, Makabe-san. Kazuki-kun and Minashiro-kun are currently in their 'paradise' now and all we can do is wait for Kazuki-kun's decision. It's all up to his mind."
"Damn it…" Fumihiko punched his fist on the desk, starting to cry.
"Kazuki, we don't have much of time left as well here now." Soushi stated calmly. His gaze fell on to the flowers and trees in front of them.
Kazuki hesitated at this. Did he want to go back? To his father, to his life?
But the more he thought about it, the more he didn't want to come back. If he came back, what would he do? Waiting for the death to come after him, and enduring another suffer at Soushi's absence?
He couldn't bear that lonely feeling again any more.
Soushi was giving him paradise, where all the beautiful flowers are waiting for him. And in this paradise, he didn't have to fight anymore. The pain he was suffering will all be gone.
"Kazuki." Soushi stared at Kazuki firmly. "I need your answer."
"I… want to go back, but I also want to stay here," finally Kazuki spoke up. "I want to tell Dad and the other that I'm very grateful to have them on my side, but… I don't want to leave this place. Seeing all of these flowers make me forget the pain, the deaths, the fight we had before. Soushi, what should I do? Soushi!"
"It's all up to you," Soushi mumbled. "It's always yours to decide. Listen to your heart, Kazuki. But remember this… I will never vanish in your mind and your heart because you didn't forget me. You didn't forget me and the others. That's why I will always live in you."
"Soushi…" Kazuki looked up to the sky and a breeze flew over him, giving him a comfort feeling. He stretched his arms. He closed his eyes.
When he opened them again, Soushi was giving his hand to him.
"Take my hand if you want to stay here, and go away from me if you want to go back," Soushi smiled sadly. "Kazuki…"
No. He didn't want to lose his Soushi again. He didn't want to leave Soushi.
Smiling, Kazuki slowly grabbed Soushi's hand and Soushi nodded, laughing softly as if they were children playing together.
Soushi… it's your true smile, your true happiness….
Dad, I always love you but I'm sorry, I don't want to lose any more ever again. Forgive me.
But I'll be always watching you… I'm happy here with Soushi.
Soushi, I'm back….
ah... i always wanted to write a fafner fic and finally i did. so yeah, as usual, feedbacks are much appreciated. thanks for reading.
wouldn't it be nice if i receive what you think, or in other word, review? please do so and tell me whether this good or not; because it makes my day~!
~zephirus