Tactics: Losing Control
Fallout Tactics fanfiction
immo - immo@hamena.org
rating:PG-13
Been playing Fallout Tactics. Had the urge to write this piece. Of course, you know me. I'm always up for femme-
slashing something up. :D Yuri goodness, right? ;D Maybe first in a series, but ya know how I am with continuing
things. I suck :P
~~~
"You holdin' up okay, Stevie?" Lex sat down next to the woman. Sweat cut a path down the dirt and grime of
her face, and Stevie flashed Lex a wavering smile.
"Hey, sexy Lexy. Holding up okay, chief. John's done me real good."
Lex saw John out of the corner of her eye, leaving the room quietly. He caught her look, and nodded in
acknowledgement. Her appreciation and thanks had been noted.
"Good, good..." Lex's face tighted to a grimace now, and she glared at Stevie. "What the HELL were you
thinking about, soldier, jumping in front of me like that?! Why did you break formation?! Were you NOT thinking at
all?!"
"I was thinking." Stevie's face had turned sullen and stony. "I was thinking about you."
Lex couldn't remember a time where she felt so tired in her life. So frustrated, so... so utterly exhausted
as she looked in those hauntingly beautiful eyes. Defiant, yes, but beautiful.
It wasn't professional. The squad all knew about it. Cookie and Mother would bow their heads together,
discussing this new... development, and cast Lex knowing smirks. John just tried his best to do his job, being the
medic in the group, or he would change the subject nervously, and try to direct attention to his dwindling
ammunition supply or the need for a new gun.
There was something going on between Paladin Lord Lex, and the young Knight, Stevie.
"I thought you would know better than a rank initiate," Lex made sure her voice carried out to the others,
knowing the rest of her squad was eavesdropping. "This is your last warning, Stevie. The next time you disobey a
direct order from me, I will have them pull your stripes. Do you understand?"
Stevie just glared at her, and Lex felt her frustration boil over into anger.
"I said, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"
"I understand," Stevie finally spoke. "I understand perfectly well, Lord Paladin."
Lex left the tent before she really lost control of her temper, and bumped right into Cookie.
"Uh... I was just... uh..." Cookie stumbled, and Lex cursed sharply and continued walking away from camp.
"Where you go?" Mother's loud voice called after her retreating form.
"To relieve Ice of guard duty!"
Lex marched away, kicking up dust, cursing the barren wasteland she walked on. In the shade of a stunted
tree, Ice watched her approach, a look of mild amusement on her face.
"Shut up," Lex snarled, and sat down next to Ice, fuming.
"I didn't say anything." Ice held up her hands, and now a small smile tweaked up a corner of her lips. The
two sat in silence for a few minutes, before Ice shifted a bit.
"I said, shut up."
"Didn't say anything."
"Good. Don't."
"..."
"..."
"So... Lover's spat?"
"Argh!!!" Lex slammed her fist into the ground. "We are NOT lovers! I'm not even into women for fuck's sake!
Why is she doing this? I don't know! Why won't she stop?!"
"Well, maybe you should just tell her you're not interested."
"Excuse me?" Lex gave Ice a bewildered look, acting as if the idea was completely foreign to her.
"Just tell her you're not interested. Or just kick her from the squad. You can get other recruits who are
more than willing to be under you," Ice snickered. "No pun intended."
"I... I can't do that." Lex let her head fall back and hit the trunk of the tree. "She's been with me since
the beginning, ya know?"
After her first two squad members had died under the beastlord attacks, and she was recovering from injuries
at Beta base, she had been gimping along and checking out the new recruits. Most of them avoided looking her in the
eye. The last mission had been a disaster. The Beastlord Emperor had had massive forces. Lex barely left with her
life. If it weren't for the grateful Deathclaw Matriarch, she wouldn't have made it back to camp alive.
She needed another squad, but she didn't want to pick someone who didn't want to be there. That only set you
up to be deserted. Better no fighters, than unwilling ones.
'But none of them want to be commanded by a commander who's failed her squad...' Lex had bitterly thought.
And that's when she saw her. The tales of her squad's fate had gone through the base, yet this girl looked her in
the eye. Maybe she had a deathwish, maybe she was crazy. She had seen her, walked away from the rest of the recruits
to smile at her.
"Paladin Lex?"
"Yes?" Lex noticed how brilliantly her eyes shone, the determination in her stance.
"I want to be part of your squad."
Lex had said she would consider it, then went around to the officer in charge of the recruits to ask about
Stevie.
"There are others better than her."
Lex had immediately picked her. And she had also recruited Ice, who was sitting in the darkness of the
bunker, looking at Lex curiously.
"And I'm not sure that you're not interested in girls."
"W-w-what?!" Lex sputtered. "What the hell makes you think that?"
"Because..." Ice lifted her sniper rifle to her shoulder, and aimed at a small rabbit that had come out of
its hole. "You know, the women in this group far outnumber the men. You only recruit women, and you don't even
glance at the guys."
"Howabout I drop you from my squad and get one of those bastards? Would that make you happier?" Lex snapped.
"Don't get angry at me cuz you didn't get a little kissy kissy from Stevie, sexy Lexy." Ice teased. "I wish
I had women jumping in front of flying bullets for me, you lucky dog."
"Get back to camp, before I haul your ass down for a beating."
"Oh, I'm sure you'd like to," Ice purred. "But I think you're a little too sweet for kinks and whips,
babygirl."
"Go cook dinner."
"Right away, sweetness." Ice stood up, laughing. The loner of the group, Lex was afraid that Ice wouldn't
get along well with anyone. But Ice got along just fine with everyone after they all got over their awkwardness and
hostilities towards each other.
Stevie had been very displeased when Cookie was recruited into the group, but got over her prejudices in a
hurry when Cookie had rescued her from another mutant when they were ambushed one night. Cookie later confided to
Lex that she had hoped that time that the grenade she threw had hit Stevie too, but was glad now that it didn't. The
two got along tremendously well.
Mother was another story. Lex had serious misgivings of letting any deathclaws into the squad after one of
her last squad mates had been slaughtered and ripped apart by one. But she had to set an example, since she was the
one who was responsible for the deathclaws joining. For the first month or so, Lex had slept with one eye open. She
had slowly gotten over her fear of the deathclaw, and felt sorry for it when she realized that Mother hardly slept
at all. She was so nervous around the humans. Now Mother considered her squad her pack, albeit, an unorthodox one.
Her eyes on the horizon, Lex contemplated what the future might hold for her, her thoughts, foremost, on
Stevie.
~~~
They hadn't talked for two days, Lex passed commands down the line instead of directly talking to Stevie.
Stevie had sunken into silence and would obey orders, but refuse to speak to or even look Lex in the eye. That was
until they happened across a couple of raiders. They were easily gotten rid of, but Stevie had managed to get hit by
a festering spear.
"I managed to get most of the poison out, and I thought she'd be okay. But now... she's running a high
fever." Cookie knelt down next to Stevie, tenderly wiping the girl's face with lukewarm water, while John told Lex
the bad news. "These damned raiders... they don't clean their weapons. I don't have the equipment here to help her,
the base doctors are equipped for this. But we have to get her there soon."
Lex nodded grimly. She had been told the news as soon as she got back to camp after heading out with Mother
to clear the area of any other possible raider threats.
"This is how you get back at me, hm?" Lex whispered. She shook her head, then placed a hand on Cookie's
shoulder. "We're moving out. Lets go pack up."
"Stevie okay?" Mother rumbled, her face furrowed in a frown. "Stevie's blood smell bad."
"She'll be okay." Lex tried to reassure the deathclaw. "She'll get better soon."
"Deathclaw blood, if smell like that, very bad." Mother looked at Stevie solemnly, as if it was the last
time she would see her. Then the deathclaw turned around and left silently. That didn't sit too well with Lex.
"Lets hurry up, people!" Lex knelt down, and watched as Stevie took shallow, gasping breaths.
"She's right. Stevie might not last too long. I could bleed her a bit..." John shrugged helplessly. "That
might take some of the poison out of her and lessen her fever... but it could also weaken her too much. She won't
have a fighting chance."
"Stevie, hang on, okay?" Lex felt Stevie's forehead. The young woman was burning up. "We'll get you back to
base. If you die of a little raider attack, I'm gonna be so pissed at you. When we were going up against those
Reavers, I would accept it if you died then, you ass. Not something stupid like this."
Stevie's hand suddenly shot out and grabbed Lex's arm.
"Don't... kick me... from your squad." Stevie's eyes were feverish. "Please..."
"No, Stevie, never." Lex squeezed the girl's hand.
"Stay with me?"
"I'll go help Ice and the others clean up," John got up, and left the two alone.
"If I didn't know better, I'd say you planned this whole thing." Lex accused.
"Can't yell at me... if I'm.. dying, right?" Stevie laughed weakly. "Give me a kiss?"
"It won't make you all better." Lex's heart clenched to see her friend like this. "Despite the headaches
that Stevie gives her, Lex would never wish Stevie out of her life.
~~~
"I hear your men are walking all over you." General Dekker spoke. Lex had been heading to the infirmary to
check on Stevie. "Or rather, one woman."
"And who told you this?" Lex couldn't imagine Mother, Cookie, Ice or John spreading her business.
"People see you hardly leave the infirmary and sit by one of your Knight's side, day and night." Dekker
replied. "You know how the rumour mill is around here."
"And you listen to them, Dekker?"
"Don't consort with people within your squad, Lex." The General fell in step beside Lex. "Its not good. I've
never talked to you about this, soldier, because I thought you would know better."
"General, please believe me when I say there is nothing between anyone in my squad." Lex could feel her face
heating up. "I have never had any relations with my squadmates, and I am not going to start now."
"That's what I gather. I know you're very responsible." The man stopped, Lex was compelled to, too. "You've
risen quickly within the Brotherhood, Lex, and I'd hate for something like this to cloud your judgement."
Lex didn't know why, but she could feel herself getting angrier and angrier as the general continued
lecturing her, as if she was still just a squire.
"Excuse me, General Dekker, but you speak of one of mine as if they were something that would hinder me,
to-to cloud my judgement." Lex almost snarled. "She is a friend. A dear one, but just a friend. She's loyal, and she
went through a lot with me. She has only helped me along the way. Granted, she might harbor a little crush on me,
but there's no harm in that, right?"
"And it is EXACTLY your outlook on this that does you no good, soldier!" The General snapped right back.
"Your squad is your family, they watch your back as you watch theirs and your responsibility is to make sure that
they get out of a mission alive! But you must have a barrier! Nip those feelings she has for you in the bud! I'm
saying this, because I would not want you hurt if she ends up in a casket!"
That was the wrong thing to say. Lex clenched her fists together, her nails digging into the palm of her
hands until she knew that blood was welling up from the small crescent-shaped cuts. That was why romances in your
own squad was discouraged. It not only promoted favoritism within the squad, but it also made people act rashly in
the line of fire.
"You're all assuming that I'm interested in her. But no, I'm not. She's a good squadmate. But that's all
she is."
"Are you sure?"
"Goddamn I'm sure!" Lex hissed. "What do you want me to do?"
"Stevie has gotten very good reports." Dekker started, and all the internal alarms in Lex went off. "She's
quick, silent, and she has the makings of a good leader."
"You're pulling her from my squad?"
"For your own good, soldier. General Barnaky saw great potential in you." Dekker placed a hand on Lex's
shoulder. "He would want me to look out for you."
It was high honour indeed to be looked upon with favour by Barnaky. He was old-fashioned and had old-
fashioned ideas. Like how women should be seen and not heard. And how the mutants, deathclaws, ghouls, just anyone
who wasn't fully 'human' should be six feet under. To have Barnaky praise her, it was high praise, indeed.
"There are other new recruits to break in, and veterans who are clambering to join you." Dekker paused.
"Do you care about her, paladin?"
"Sir?"
"As a friend would care for a friend."
Lex answered truthfully. "Very much, sir."
"And to your knowledge, she loves you?"
"Sir," Hesitantly, Lex started speaking. "During the Newton mission, she saved my life, risking her own."
"Exactly my point. She'll die because of you, Lex." Dekker pursed his lips together. "You know the right
course of action."
Lex felt torn. She had told Stevie that she would never be outed from the squad. But it was for Stevie's own
good. Another stunt like that...
"Just sign her out with the Recruits Master. I'll swing by her cot now and tell her the news. If it makes
you feel better, you have no choice whether she goes or not. I'm pulling rank."
"Yessir. I'll report to the Recruits Master." Lex watched as Dekker headed to the infirmary, and felt her
legs move to catch up with him. "General Dekker!"
"Lex?" Dekker paused.
"Give me a moment with her, please?"
Dekker frowned, but then shrugged. "Of course. I have some things to discuss with Scribe Aaron, anyways.
I will go and talk to Stevie later. Oh, and report to me after you visit the Recruits Master. I have another mission
for you."
Lex saluted Dekker, then hurried to the infirmary.
"Paladin Lord Lexandria." One of the doctor's assistants smiled at her. "You're here again. Knight Stevie is
awake, and she's been asking for you for quite a while now."
"Has she?" A smile came unbidden onto Lex's lips. Excusing herself, she walked past other beds, and finally
reached Stevie's bed. Lex scratched softly on the screen.
"Are you decent?"
"Lex?" There was sounds of movement on the other side of the dividing screen. "Come in."
The screen parted with a swish, and Lex closed it firmly behind her before seating herself on the stool next
to Stevie's bed. The knight had pushed herself up to a sitting position to better greet her guest.
"How's your wound healing?"
"Great." Stevie pulled down the sleeve of her gown to show Lex her shoulder, neatly stitched. "Its coming
along quite nicely."
"That's great."
There was a long awkward silence, where the two avoided looking in each other's eyes.
"Hey, Stevie. Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
Lex leaned forward, resting her elbows on the edge of Stevie's bed. "Why did you want to be part of my
squad? I mean, right after the whole mess with the Beastmaster, nobody would touch me with a ten-foot pole. Why did
you want to join me?"
Stevie leaned back into her pillow, her brows furrowed in concentration.
"Well... I wanted to make something of you."
"What?" Lex blinked.
"I wanted to make you happy." Stevie grinned. "Its... just... when I first saw you, you looked miserable.
I've seen you before the Beastmaster incident, you know? You were really close with them, weren't you?"
Lex closed her eyes, and willed that tightening in her chest to loosen. Even after what had seemed like
forever, she still missed her friends. And wished to god, they were still here. Just to see them, bloody and
mangled, still fighting even when they were overwhelmed... if Stitch hadn't opened the Matriarch's cage, if he
hadn't made it at that moment... if Farsight hadn't ran to her aid when she went down...
A cool hand squeezing her forearm lightly brought her back to the present.
"They were family." Lex whispered hoarsely. "They were my closest friends. We started out as recruits
together..."
"You had no family when they died." Stevie nodded. "The Brotherhood is supposed to be family. And here,
everyone else was avoiding you when you were hurting. It wasn't right."
Lex searched Stevie's face, but found nothing but sincerity.
"Want to ask me why I stay with you now?"
Lex had to smile at the impish look on Stevie's face.
"Sure, why not."
Stevie bit her lower lip nervously, then motioned for Lex to come closer. Lex tilted her head to the side,
but leaned closer, until Stevie's mouth was pressed close to her ear.
"I'm only going to say this once, okey?" Her voice qauvered nervously. "I like the things you do. I like the
way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you smell. I like how you treat everyone fairly and care about them so
deeply. I like how your hands feel, and how warm you are. I like how you make me feel, Lex. I like everything about
you. I love you. And I even like the part of you that resists me, because its all you."
Stevie had a hand, tenderly pressed against Lex's forehead, fingers slowly trailing through Lex's red hair.
"Stevie?"
"I'm sorry, Lex."
And then Stevie kissed her. Softly, so softly. Just barely brushed against her lips. Then again, and again.
The tip of her tongue, entering Lex's mouth, and Lex met it with her own.
Even injured, Stevie was still strong, and she pulled Lex on top of her, as the kiss deepened.
"I've wanted this so long, Lex, you don't understand..."
Lex just held her closer, and squeezed her eyes shut. One last kiss, and she could feel her heart completely
shatter at how honestly Stevie returned that kiss.
"Stevie?" Lex rested her forehead against the exposed skin of Stevie's neckline. Tentatively, she kissed
the bared skin, feeling how hot Stevie was.
"Stevie, I'm sorry--"
"Don't say a thing, Lex." Stevie turned her head to the side. "Please."
"I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for." Stevie's eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and she laughed loudly,
trying to make light of the situation. Lex floundered helplessly, not knowing what to do. Her friend was hurting, it
was apparent, and it was because of her. She didn't know how to make it better. SHe opened her mouth again, to say
something, anything, but fell silent when Stevie motioned to her to be quiet.
"Lex, don't. You don't need to say anything." Stevie smiled. "I love you. I love you so much, and it hurts
me to no end. And since I'm part of your squad, I have all the time in the world to convince you that you love me
too. You know, life and death situations, nights under the stars..."
Lex choked on her laughter, and the two women found themselves holding each other. Parting again, Lex held
onto Stevie's hands tightly, and raised them to her lips. She kissed the palm of Stevie's hands, feeling incredibly
guilty.
"I'm going to go now, okay? You get some rest."
"Okay."
The Paladin Lord helped her knight under the covers, then turned off the bedside lamp. The outburst must
have taken a lot out of Stevie, because she fell asleep right away. In the darkness, Lex watched the muted
silhouette of her friend. Her breathing drowned out by the steady beeping of the heart monitor machine next to her
bed.
"I'm sorry, Stevie."
Fallout Tactics fanfiction
immo - immo@hamena.org
rating:PG-13
Been playing Fallout Tactics. Had the urge to write this piece. Of course, you know me. I'm always up for femme-
slashing something up. :D Yuri goodness, right? ;D Maybe first in a series, but ya know how I am with continuing
things. I suck :P
~~~
"You holdin' up okay, Stevie?" Lex sat down next to the woman. Sweat cut a path down the dirt and grime of
her face, and Stevie flashed Lex a wavering smile.
"Hey, sexy Lexy. Holding up okay, chief. John's done me real good."
Lex saw John out of the corner of her eye, leaving the room quietly. He caught her look, and nodded in
acknowledgement. Her appreciation and thanks had been noted.
"Good, good..." Lex's face tighted to a grimace now, and she glared at Stevie. "What the HELL were you
thinking about, soldier, jumping in front of me like that?! Why did you break formation?! Were you NOT thinking at
all?!"
"I was thinking." Stevie's face had turned sullen and stony. "I was thinking about you."
Lex couldn't remember a time where she felt so tired in her life. So frustrated, so... so utterly exhausted
as she looked in those hauntingly beautiful eyes. Defiant, yes, but beautiful.
It wasn't professional. The squad all knew about it. Cookie and Mother would bow their heads together,
discussing this new... development, and cast Lex knowing smirks. John just tried his best to do his job, being the
medic in the group, or he would change the subject nervously, and try to direct attention to his dwindling
ammunition supply or the need for a new gun.
There was something going on between Paladin Lord Lex, and the young Knight, Stevie.
"I thought you would know better than a rank initiate," Lex made sure her voice carried out to the others,
knowing the rest of her squad was eavesdropping. "This is your last warning, Stevie. The next time you disobey a
direct order from me, I will have them pull your stripes. Do you understand?"
Stevie just glared at her, and Lex felt her frustration boil over into anger.
"I said, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"
"I understand," Stevie finally spoke. "I understand perfectly well, Lord Paladin."
Lex left the tent before she really lost control of her temper, and bumped right into Cookie.
"Uh... I was just... uh..." Cookie stumbled, and Lex cursed sharply and continued walking away from camp.
"Where you go?" Mother's loud voice called after her retreating form.
"To relieve Ice of guard duty!"
Lex marched away, kicking up dust, cursing the barren wasteland she walked on. In the shade of a stunted
tree, Ice watched her approach, a look of mild amusement on her face.
"Shut up," Lex snarled, and sat down next to Ice, fuming.
"I didn't say anything." Ice held up her hands, and now a small smile tweaked up a corner of her lips. The
two sat in silence for a few minutes, before Ice shifted a bit.
"I said, shut up."
"Didn't say anything."
"Good. Don't."
"..."
"..."
"So... Lover's spat?"
"Argh!!!" Lex slammed her fist into the ground. "We are NOT lovers! I'm not even into women for fuck's sake!
Why is she doing this? I don't know! Why won't she stop?!"
"Well, maybe you should just tell her you're not interested."
"Excuse me?" Lex gave Ice a bewildered look, acting as if the idea was completely foreign to her.
"Just tell her you're not interested. Or just kick her from the squad. You can get other recruits who are
more than willing to be under you," Ice snickered. "No pun intended."
"I... I can't do that." Lex let her head fall back and hit the trunk of the tree. "She's been with me since
the beginning, ya know?"
After her first two squad members had died under the beastlord attacks, and she was recovering from injuries
at Beta base, she had been gimping along and checking out the new recruits. Most of them avoided looking her in the
eye. The last mission had been a disaster. The Beastlord Emperor had had massive forces. Lex barely left with her
life. If it weren't for the grateful Deathclaw Matriarch, she wouldn't have made it back to camp alive.
She needed another squad, but she didn't want to pick someone who didn't want to be there. That only set you
up to be deserted. Better no fighters, than unwilling ones.
'But none of them want to be commanded by a commander who's failed her squad...' Lex had bitterly thought.
And that's when she saw her. The tales of her squad's fate had gone through the base, yet this girl looked her in
the eye. Maybe she had a deathwish, maybe she was crazy. She had seen her, walked away from the rest of the recruits
to smile at her.
"Paladin Lex?"
"Yes?" Lex noticed how brilliantly her eyes shone, the determination in her stance.
"I want to be part of your squad."
Lex had said she would consider it, then went around to the officer in charge of the recruits to ask about
Stevie.
"There are others better than her."
Lex had immediately picked her. And she had also recruited Ice, who was sitting in the darkness of the
bunker, looking at Lex curiously.
"And I'm not sure that you're not interested in girls."
"W-w-what?!" Lex sputtered. "What the hell makes you think that?"
"Because..." Ice lifted her sniper rifle to her shoulder, and aimed at a small rabbit that had come out of
its hole. "You know, the women in this group far outnumber the men. You only recruit women, and you don't even
glance at the guys."
"Howabout I drop you from my squad and get one of those bastards? Would that make you happier?" Lex snapped.
"Don't get angry at me cuz you didn't get a little kissy kissy from Stevie, sexy Lexy." Ice teased. "I wish
I had women jumping in front of flying bullets for me, you lucky dog."
"Get back to camp, before I haul your ass down for a beating."
"Oh, I'm sure you'd like to," Ice purred. "But I think you're a little too sweet for kinks and whips,
babygirl."
"Go cook dinner."
"Right away, sweetness." Ice stood up, laughing. The loner of the group, Lex was afraid that Ice wouldn't
get along well with anyone. But Ice got along just fine with everyone after they all got over their awkwardness and
hostilities towards each other.
Stevie had been very displeased when Cookie was recruited into the group, but got over her prejudices in a
hurry when Cookie had rescued her from another mutant when they were ambushed one night. Cookie later confided to
Lex that she had hoped that time that the grenade she threw had hit Stevie too, but was glad now that it didn't. The
two got along tremendously well.
Mother was another story. Lex had serious misgivings of letting any deathclaws into the squad after one of
her last squad mates had been slaughtered and ripped apart by one. But she had to set an example, since she was the
one who was responsible for the deathclaws joining. For the first month or so, Lex had slept with one eye open. She
had slowly gotten over her fear of the deathclaw, and felt sorry for it when she realized that Mother hardly slept
at all. She was so nervous around the humans. Now Mother considered her squad her pack, albeit, an unorthodox one.
Her eyes on the horizon, Lex contemplated what the future might hold for her, her thoughts, foremost, on
Stevie.
~~~
They hadn't talked for two days, Lex passed commands down the line instead of directly talking to Stevie.
Stevie had sunken into silence and would obey orders, but refuse to speak to or even look Lex in the eye. That was
until they happened across a couple of raiders. They were easily gotten rid of, but Stevie had managed to get hit by
a festering spear.
"I managed to get most of the poison out, and I thought she'd be okay. But now... she's running a high
fever." Cookie knelt down next to Stevie, tenderly wiping the girl's face with lukewarm water, while John told Lex
the bad news. "These damned raiders... they don't clean their weapons. I don't have the equipment here to help her,
the base doctors are equipped for this. But we have to get her there soon."
Lex nodded grimly. She had been told the news as soon as she got back to camp after heading out with Mother
to clear the area of any other possible raider threats.
"This is how you get back at me, hm?" Lex whispered. She shook her head, then placed a hand on Cookie's
shoulder. "We're moving out. Lets go pack up."
"Stevie okay?" Mother rumbled, her face furrowed in a frown. "Stevie's blood smell bad."
"She'll be okay." Lex tried to reassure the deathclaw. "She'll get better soon."
"Deathclaw blood, if smell like that, very bad." Mother looked at Stevie solemnly, as if it was the last
time she would see her. Then the deathclaw turned around and left silently. That didn't sit too well with Lex.
"Lets hurry up, people!" Lex knelt down, and watched as Stevie took shallow, gasping breaths.
"She's right. Stevie might not last too long. I could bleed her a bit..." John shrugged helplessly. "That
might take some of the poison out of her and lessen her fever... but it could also weaken her too much. She won't
have a fighting chance."
"Stevie, hang on, okay?" Lex felt Stevie's forehead. The young woman was burning up. "We'll get you back to
base. If you die of a little raider attack, I'm gonna be so pissed at you. When we were going up against those
Reavers, I would accept it if you died then, you ass. Not something stupid like this."
Stevie's hand suddenly shot out and grabbed Lex's arm.
"Don't... kick me... from your squad." Stevie's eyes were feverish. "Please..."
"No, Stevie, never." Lex squeezed the girl's hand.
"Stay with me?"
"I'll go help Ice and the others clean up," John got up, and left the two alone.
"If I didn't know better, I'd say you planned this whole thing." Lex accused.
"Can't yell at me... if I'm.. dying, right?" Stevie laughed weakly. "Give me a kiss?"
"It won't make you all better." Lex's heart clenched to see her friend like this. "Despite the headaches
that Stevie gives her, Lex would never wish Stevie out of her life.
~~~
"I hear your men are walking all over you." General Dekker spoke. Lex had been heading to the infirmary to
check on Stevie. "Or rather, one woman."
"And who told you this?" Lex couldn't imagine Mother, Cookie, Ice or John spreading her business.
"People see you hardly leave the infirmary and sit by one of your Knight's side, day and night." Dekker
replied. "You know how the rumour mill is around here."
"And you listen to them, Dekker?"
"Don't consort with people within your squad, Lex." The General fell in step beside Lex. "Its not good. I've
never talked to you about this, soldier, because I thought you would know better."
"General, please believe me when I say there is nothing between anyone in my squad." Lex could feel her face
heating up. "I have never had any relations with my squadmates, and I am not going to start now."
"That's what I gather. I know you're very responsible." The man stopped, Lex was compelled to, too. "You've
risen quickly within the Brotherhood, Lex, and I'd hate for something like this to cloud your judgement."
Lex didn't know why, but she could feel herself getting angrier and angrier as the general continued
lecturing her, as if she was still just a squire.
"Excuse me, General Dekker, but you speak of one of mine as if they were something that would hinder me,
to-to cloud my judgement." Lex almost snarled. "She is a friend. A dear one, but just a friend. She's loyal, and she
went through a lot with me. She has only helped me along the way. Granted, she might harbor a little crush on me,
but there's no harm in that, right?"
"And it is EXACTLY your outlook on this that does you no good, soldier!" The General snapped right back.
"Your squad is your family, they watch your back as you watch theirs and your responsibility is to make sure that
they get out of a mission alive! But you must have a barrier! Nip those feelings she has for you in the bud! I'm
saying this, because I would not want you hurt if she ends up in a casket!"
That was the wrong thing to say. Lex clenched her fists together, her nails digging into the palm of her
hands until she knew that blood was welling up from the small crescent-shaped cuts. That was why romances in your
own squad was discouraged. It not only promoted favoritism within the squad, but it also made people act rashly in
the line of fire.
"You're all assuming that I'm interested in her. But no, I'm not. She's a good squadmate. But that's all
she is."
"Are you sure?"
"Goddamn I'm sure!" Lex hissed. "What do you want me to do?"
"Stevie has gotten very good reports." Dekker started, and all the internal alarms in Lex went off. "She's
quick, silent, and she has the makings of a good leader."
"You're pulling her from my squad?"
"For your own good, soldier. General Barnaky saw great potential in you." Dekker placed a hand on Lex's
shoulder. "He would want me to look out for you."
It was high honour indeed to be looked upon with favour by Barnaky. He was old-fashioned and had old-
fashioned ideas. Like how women should be seen and not heard. And how the mutants, deathclaws, ghouls, just anyone
who wasn't fully 'human' should be six feet under. To have Barnaky praise her, it was high praise, indeed.
"There are other new recruits to break in, and veterans who are clambering to join you." Dekker paused.
"Do you care about her, paladin?"
"Sir?"
"As a friend would care for a friend."
Lex answered truthfully. "Very much, sir."
"And to your knowledge, she loves you?"
"Sir," Hesitantly, Lex started speaking. "During the Newton mission, she saved my life, risking her own."
"Exactly my point. She'll die because of you, Lex." Dekker pursed his lips together. "You know the right
course of action."
Lex felt torn. She had told Stevie that she would never be outed from the squad. But it was for Stevie's own
good. Another stunt like that...
"Just sign her out with the Recruits Master. I'll swing by her cot now and tell her the news. If it makes
you feel better, you have no choice whether she goes or not. I'm pulling rank."
"Yessir. I'll report to the Recruits Master." Lex watched as Dekker headed to the infirmary, and felt her
legs move to catch up with him. "General Dekker!"
"Lex?" Dekker paused.
"Give me a moment with her, please?"
Dekker frowned, but then shrugged. "Of course. I have some things to discuss with Scribe Aaron, anyways.
I will go and talk to Stevie later. Oh, and report to me after you visit the Recruits Master. I have another mission
for you."
Lex saluted Dekker, then hurried to the infirmary.
"Paladin Lord Lexandria." One of the doctor's assistants smiled at her. "You're here again. Knight Stevie is
awake, and she's been asking for you for quite a while now."
"Has she?" A smile came unbidden onto Lex's lips. Excusing herself, she walked past other beds, and finally
reached Stevie's bed. Lex scratched softly on the screen.
"Are you decent?"
"Lex?" There was sounds of movement on the other side of the dividing screen. "Come in."
The screen parted with a swish, and Lex closed it firmly behind her before seating herself on the stool next
to Stevie's bed. The knight had pushed herself up to a sitting position to better greet her guest.
"How's your wound healing?"
"Great." Stevie pulled down the sleeve of her gown to show Lex her shoulder, neatly stitched. "Its coming
along quite nicely."
"That's great."
There was a long awkward silence, where the two avoided looking in each other's eyes.
"Hey, Stevie. Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
Lex leaned forward, resting her elbows on the edge of Stevie's bed. "Why did you want to be part of my
squad? I mean, right after the whole mess with the Beastmaster, nobody would touch me with a ten-foot pole. Why did
you want to join me?"
Stevie leaned back into her pillow, her brows furrowed in concentration.
"Well... I wanted to make something of you."
"What?" Lex blinked.
"I wanted to make you happy." Stevie grinned. "Its... just... when I first saw you, you looked miserable.
I've seen you before the Beastmaster incident, you know? You were really close with them, weren't you?"
Lex closed her eyes, and willed that tightening in her chest to loosen. Even after what had seemed like
forever, she still missed her friends. And wished to god, they were still here. Just to see them, bloody and
mangled, still fighting even when they were overwhelmed... if Stitch hadn't opened the Matriarch's cage, if he
hadn't made it at that moment... if Farsight hadn't ran to her aid when she went down...
A cool hand squeezing her forearm lightly brought her back to the present.
"They were family." Lex whispered hoarsely. "They were my closest friends. We started out as recruits
together..."
"You had no family when they died." Stevie nodded. "The Brotherhood is supposed to be family. And here,
everyone else was avoiding you when you were hurting. It wasn't right."
Lex searched Stevie's face, but found nothing but sincerity.
"Want to ask me why I stay with you now?"
Lex had to smile at the impish look on Stevie's face.
"Sure, why not."
Stevie bit her lower lip nervously, then motioned for Lex to come closer. Lex tilted her head to the side,
but leaned closer, until Stevie's mouth was pressed close to her ear.
"I'm only going to say this once, okey?" Her voice qauvered nervously. "I like the things you do. I like the
way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you smell. I like how you treat everyone fairly and care about them so
deeply. I like how your hands feel, and how warm you are. I like how you make me feel, Lex. I like everything about
you. I love you. And I even like the part of you that resists me, because its all you."
Stevie had a hand, tenderly pressed against Lex's forehead, fingers slowly trailing through Lex's red hair.
"Stevie?"
"I'm sorry, Lex."
And then Stevie kissed her. Softly, so softly. Just barely brushed against her lips. Then again, and again.
The tip of her tongue, entering Lex's mouth, and Lex met it with her own.
Even injured, Stevie was still strong, and she pulled Lex on top of her, as the kiss deepened.
"I've wanted this so long, Lex, you don't understand..."
Lex just held her closer, and squeezed her eyes shut. One last kiss, and she could feel her heart completely
shatter at how honestly Stevie returned that kiss.
"Stevie?" Lex rested her forehead against the exposed skin of Stevie's neckline. Tentatively, she kissed
the bared skin, feeling how hot Stevie was.
"Stevie, I'm sorry--"
"Don't say a thing, Lex." Stevie turned her head to the side. "Please."
"I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for." Stevie's eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and she laughed loudly,
trying to make light of the situation. Lex floundered helplessly, not knowing what to do. Her friend was hurting, it
was apparent, and it was because of her. She didn't know how to make it better. SHe opened her mouth again, to say
something, anything, but fell silent when Stevie motioned to her to be quiet.
"Lex, don't. You don't need to say anything." Stevie smiled. "I love you. I love you so much, and it hurts
me to no end. And since I'm part of your squad, I have all the time in the world to convince you that you love me
too. You know, life and death situations, nights under the stars..."
Lex choked on her laughter, and the two women found themselves holding each other. Parting again, Lex held
onto Stevie's hands tightly, and raised them to her lips. She kissed the palm of Stevie's hands, feeling incredibly
guilty.
"I'm going to go now, okay? You get some rest."
"Okay."
The Paladin Lord helped her knight under the covers, then turned off the bedside lamp. The outburst must
have taken a lot out of Stevie, because she fell asleep right away. In the darkness, Lex watched the muted
silhouette of her friend. Her breathing drowned out by the steady beeping of the heart monitor machine next to her
bed.
"I'm sorry, Stevie."