Disclaimer: I do not own 'Class of the Titans' or William Shakespeare's 'Sonnet 18' or 'Romeo and Juliet'. I make no money from this publication.

A/N: Tis dazzeling diamond here (Lol, you're probably sick of me by now...the amount of times I have to say "it's me...not Ruby") and Ruby (my fab writing partner and beta) was kind enough to let me post this fic here. I've said it before, oneshots are not my strong point...but for me they are just a bit of fun, and not necessarily a story in full. I hope you enjoy this light-hearted A/A fic :)

"Stupid Poet!"

By dazzeling diamond

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Thou art more lovely and temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May…Now, Archibald……Archibald…Archibald Redford! Are you listening?"

Archie barely registered the voice as he slept, head on his desk, his arms covering the numerous scribbles he'd done where his poetry analysis should have been. Mrs. Lawrence, a middle-aged woman whose love for poetry was regularly diminished by her students' disinterest, stared intently at the purple-haired adolescent.

"Wake up, Archie!" Atlanta hissed from behind, prodding him violently with her pencil.

As a result, Archie's spine jerked forward, snapping his head straight up as he desperately blurted,

"It wasn't me!"

The entire English class laughed at him, while Mrs. Lawrence sighed, the likeness of exasperation forming on her face. Archie glanced up at his teacher, and shrugged sheepishly. Unable to tolerate him anymore, Mrs. Lawrence walked to the front of the room, a slight irritation in her step.

Archie frowned, it didn't help that Ares had made him train twice as long last night. Then, thanks to Hera and her insistence that the teenagers not let their grades slip, Archie had spent the most of his night in the library, feverishly attempting to pay attention to Odie, who'd agreed to tutor him for his biology assignment. Right then, all Archie could remember was 'mitochondria' and "chlorophyll'.

So much for studying, he thought, as the temptation to sleep began to weigh down on his eyelids.

"Now, before we were so rudely interrupted by our very own 'sleeping beauty'," Mrs. Lawrence paused, while the class snickered indiscreetly, "we were discussing Shakespeare's use of language and intent…"

She continued, at least, in Archie's mind, to harp on about the 'fading beauty' and 'stability of love and its power to immortalize poetry'. Unable to avoid mentally drifting away from the lesson, Archie closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead with slowed frustration. Stupid Shakespeare, he thought. He really was a pain in the posterior, an insult to all the great poets. Studying him was more than a nightmare…it was a nightmare you couldn't wake up from until you received that exam essay with a big red grade on the front. Fun…he mused.

He then stared at his page, where he was supposed to have analysed, deconstructed and explained all the implicit and explicit meanings of Shakespeare's "Sonnet 18". Well, the page was far from blank…it contained several miniature caricatures of Mrs. Lawrence, with expressions detailing the various degrees of rage, as well as a few messily written definitions for "assonance" and "couplet".

There was also a scribbled smiley face with its abnormally long tongue sticking out, drawn by Atlanta at the start of the lesson, prior to Mrs. Lawrence's arrival. In return, Archie drew on her page, a mocking image of Shakespeare, chewing on the end of a quill while sweat beads the size of tennis balls rolled of his face. In the picture, Shakespeare was reading "The Idiot's Guide to Poetry"…with the book upside down.

Mrs. Lawrence came forward, her forehead creased with exhaustion. She paused in front of Archie, curiously inspecting the drawings on his analysis sheet. Quickly, Archie flipped his page over, placing his elbow over it, his head resting nonchalantly in his hand. He turned in his chair so his legs were to its side, and smiled, with what he hoped was 'charm'. Without moving, he could hear Atlanta's attempt at stifling laughter.

"Ah, Mr. Rip Van Winkle, himself!" exclaimed Mrs. Lawrence "Well, seeing as you had all that time to rest, you must already have a complete and thorough understanding of William Shakespeare and his work…Tell us, Archibald, what do you think of the themes and subject matter that he consistently presents throughout his work, be it his poetry or his plays?"

It's Archie…not Archibald! He cringed, mentally. Gulping, he looked at the rest of the class, their faces displaying no sympathy, only signs of suppressed laughter. He deliberately avoided looking at Atlanta. Turning back to face Mrs. Lawrence's expectant glare, Archie shook his head. That was it; it was only for so long he could play the fool, before he became irritated. He wanted her opinion on Shakespeare? She was going to get it. Heck, he'd stand in front of the class and give an entire speech!

"Mrs. Lawrence," he began curtly, as he tried to hide the knowing smiling on his face "I, personally, find Shakespeare's themes to be relevant yet the way he portrays his characters, and his use of archetypes is very obvious, and betrays a solid storyline or subject. He litters his plays and poetry with innuendo, the kind that overdoes a meaning and thus destroys it in the process." Everyone simply stared at him.

"He is far too obsessed with pretension and this overshadows his use of themes…the light and dark use of imagery is, eclipsed when you look at the overall story, and does not reach the common person. Many of his stories are clichéd and unexciting, and have become the predictable formulas for stories today His work is nothing compared to that of Homer, Sappho or Pindar." Archie finished.

The class was silent. Atlanta dropped her pencil, which resounded with a 'plink' on the floor. Archie felt both triumphant and embarrassed, having dropped perhaps too much knowledge of poetry. So much for keeping the poetry obsession a secret!

Mrs. Lawrence stared, her mouth ajar. She peered at him over her glasses, once she regained her stature.

"Well, Archibald," she began, somewhat shakily "It would appear you have knowledge of the Classical and Pre-Classical Greek poetry…what a…boon, for you. While you are entitled to your opinion of William Shakespeare, you are unfortunately going to have to bear with me, as we are about to delve further into his work, especially into his plays, for the rest of the term."

Oh, great… he thought, groaning inwardly. He never liked Shakespeare, and he wasn't about to start now, just because they still had a term's worth of study left.

"We are going to be studying "Romeo and Juliet"," Mrs. Lawrence continued, listening to the expected cooing from the girls and the grunting from the boys "and after we analyse it, you are going to be doing dramatic enactments of the play, with the scenes of your choice, and you will hand in a piece analysing of the scene."

This couldn't get any worse, thought Archie, as he slumped in his seat. Atlanta poked him again, less violently this time.

"Oh boo hoo!" she whispered, her breath tickling his ear "You'll get over it!"

"Yeah, thanks for the reassurance," he replied sarcastically.

"Oh, did I mention that this presentation is done in pairs? Well, after all, someone has to be Romeo and someone has to be Juliet…" said Mrs. Lawrence, her eyes narrowing in on Archie. Pairs? For a second his eyes locked pleadingly with hers. Whether she understood what he was hoping for, he wasn't sure.

Sure he thought Shakespeare was pretentious…

Mrs. Lawrence returned to her desk and started reading in a low monotone, "David Angelo…you're with Bella Brinkley"

Sure, he thought his poems lacked substance…

"Jason Chun, you are with Kelly Forsythe…Molly Jacobs, you are paired with Christopher Lawson…." She continued to rattle names, until only two pairs remained.

So Archie never liked Shakespeare…

"Archibald Redford," said Mrs. Lawrence, glancing up at the adolescent "You're with…Atlanta Greene,"

He could always learn to adjust!

Yes, I know, it was predictable...but like I said, not a serious story...just bit of light-hearted fun, and maybe something I could continue with, another time.

Reviewers will be loved :)