Disclaimer: I don't own Honey and Clover.

Let's start off with telling you guys my story…

I'm Yamada Ayumi. All my friends call me Yamada, except for cute little Hagu, my best girl friend, who prefers to call me by my first name.

I have four best guy friends, and these people are Morita, Takemoto and… a guy called Mayama.

This guy, Mayama Takumi, I fell damn well in love with him for… God knows how long! I don't exactly know what made me fall for him. Maybe because he's so cool and he's got the looks. Or maybe it had all been just a simple attraction? Hell no, I don't think liking someone for several years could just be considered as a 'simple' attraction. No, I was in love. I really was.

Maybe I had just myself over the edge… I did everything I possibly could to get his attention, to impress him, only to make a fool out of myself and find poor little me crying alone in my bedroom as I think about him. I thought I could go on like this, I thought I could endure this pain and longing. A lot of people do know me as a strong and dependable woman, and I'm quite proud of being labeled as that as well. It boosts up my confidence to face the challenges that lie ahead.

I'm a girl who can beat up guys. Yes, seriously, I'm telling you the truth. I can kick someone's ass if he or she picks up a fight. But, despite all of these 'strong' and 'hardcore' chick appearance, I'm just an emotionally bruised girl, wanting to get everything out of my shell. I always get what I wanted, not that I'm saying that I'm an arrogant and spoiled brat. I just learned from everyday experiences that if you really work hard to get that something, you'd get it in the very end if you do everything you can for it. But, I really did everything I can for him… And I always ended up with stupid whys and hows that I was unable to find an answer for all of it. It's hard, really… It's hard to love a person whom you know very well and when you know that that person can't return your feelings.

I really tried hard to forget about him as well. In the end, I would just find myself curled up alone in my room, crying over him and cursing. I would curse and complain on why he can't like me back. Hell, I'm Yamada Ayumi! He knows very well that I'm beyond pretty and every single guy wants to date me… Except for him…

Oh God… Why does he always have to be the exception?

In the end, I can't and won't be able to do anything to change his mind and feelings. All I could do is look at him as he walks away, towards his goals and dreams, and towards the woman he truly loves… But I think it just backfired, because I knew deep inside me that she doesn't feel the same… She's still not over her husband. This is just such a pathetic love-triangle. But it hurts all too much.

But I know, I know well that someday I'll be able to move on. I'll be able to forget. All of those painful feelings will just become a part of my past. The crying sessions in my room would just become one of my experiences on loving someone and how it feels to be hurt. All I could do for him because I really love him… is watch him be happy, since she is starting to learn how to love him as well, breaking out of her own shell.

One day, I'll be able to smile at him and stop crying.

Reviews would be nice.. :)