I Am Not Sorry For My Sins
By: General Quistis (generalquistis@yahoo.com)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story plot. Any resemblances to any other stories/fics elsewhere is purely coincidental.
Author's Note: setting is waaaaay before the game itself. Just some months after Tifa arrived in Midgar.
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Another boring night working at the 7th Heaven bar.
"I wonder where Cloud is?" Tifa thought silently as she began to serve the customers their drinks.
Barret sat in one corner just reading the papers while drinking some beer while.
The other AVALANCHE members just went about their own business drinking, eating, watching television, laughing and telling stories about that day's work along with the other people inside the bar who are non-AVALANCHE members.
She was not really thinking about anything else but Cloud, Cloud and more Cloud.
It's enough to cloud her mind but she wouldn't stop.
She's just so damn stubborn to think of reasons why she is the best girl for him… unless there's another woman in his life; that's when she would plan to step back.
But she doesn't know anything.
Outside, man was passing by. He was very tall, muscular and was clad in black leather clothing. He had a very tired look on his face.
His weary eyes reflected a blank gaze that seemed to lead to nowhere but back to his own insanity caused by too much confusion from the past events of his life. Where is he supposed to go anyway?
"And what am I supposed to do? Rest? Sleep? Where?" he thought.
He had been wandering around by foot, and even though he felt so tired, it did not show with the kind of posture that he has. He still stood up straight, keeping his head up high, therefore reflecting an air of arrogance from his aura.
He sighed heavily upon remembering everything that happened before.
And realized how stupid he was to believe everything that the old geezer ShinRa scientist had told him.
Everyone made him believe in lies.
Everyone should hate him by now because of the people he had harmed, killed and hurt… but he is not stupid enough to just roam around the streets of every single town without a disguise… so he tucked his long hair under a cowboy hat that once belonged to a girl whom he knew not so long ago; but his long sword was not concealed.
Upon stopping in front of a small edifice, he turned his gaze to it and scanned it wearily. Mindlessly, he wandered off to it, going up the steps and went inside.
Tifa turned to the door upon hearing someone enter. "Hi," she greeted, trying to act cheerful even though she felt so sad and disappointed about her life. The wound from the left part of her chest down to her lower right abdomen was still aching but she still managed to act like nothing is wrong. She did not really look at the new customer who just got inside and sat down before her so she did not really notice that he was staring at her with his mouth slightly open and his eyes wide in awe.
She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen…but the thought got kicked out from his mind when he realized that he still has more important things to do than flirt with girls.
Sure, way back in SOLDIER, many women were after him… almost all the women who would go for the handsome Rufus ShinRa would also go for him, but both of them just warded those off. He does not know about Rufus's case, "probably because he is gay or he simply hates women", he would tell himself, but in his own case, maybe the reason why he did not pay attention to those girls is because he could feel like he is lost.
Maybe because he never knew his own real mother too… if ever JENOVA isn't really his mother.
She began to wipe a glass with a piece of washcloth as she spoke up solemnly, "What will you have, sir?"
He stared at her for a while before replying uneasily, "Water,"
Everyone fell silent as they turned to him with strange looks on their faces.
Who the hell would ask for water in a bar?
Well, maybe it happens but seldom times…
Tifa didn't see anything wrong with it but she just nodded her head. "Wait up," she told him before she got a pitcher of water from the fridge and filled up the glass with ice-cold water. She handed the glass to the man but because of the severe pain from her wound, she cringed and dropped the glass on the floor. She turned away from him as she held her stomach.
He saw blood on her white sleeveless top.
Jessie got up from her seat and immediately went to Tifa. "I told you not to force yourself with the work here, Teef," she scolded lightly.
Tifa just smiled weakly at her and chuckled lightly. "Someone's gotta work, you know?" she asked.
Jessie shook her head in disbelief before she began to clean up the mess that Tifa made.
Tifa smiled sheepishly at the man with the cowboy hat and that's when she got a slight good look at him. His hat reminded her so much of her own hat… which unfortunately got lost.
"I'm sorry, sir." She apologized, pushing her thoughts away.
He nodded as he smiled back at her.
With that, she turned away to get another glass of water for him.
As she handed him the glass, he took it carefully but did not drink from it. He was looking curiously at her crimson eyes. "Is there anything wrong?" he asked with a voice that reflected a lot of concern.
The voice made her cringe a little and her wound began to ache again. She smiled uneasily at him. "I…" she began, but couldn't go on.
He got up and went to her quickly when he noticed that she was beginning to get pale and she was already trying to stop herself from falling to the ground because she really felt dizzy already. He caught her in his arms. "Are you okay?" he asked.
So unlikely of him after all that he had been through lately.
Funny how love can pierce through a person's heart and make his heart bleed until it changes that person's mind…
"Yes, I'm okay," Tifa replied.
Barret got up and went to them. "Something wrong?" he asked.
"I think she needs to rest," the man replied, looking at Tifa's weary eyes.
Barret shook his head in disbelief. "You stubborn foo'! Told ya not to work 'til yer wound heals!" he snapped at Tifa.
She just closed her eyes and leaned her head against the man's chest.
Soon, she was unconscious.
Barret turned to him. "Hey, you. Can you just take Tifa to her room?" he asked before turning to Jessie. "Hey Jessie, help this man with Tifa. I'll stay here and guard the place." He said.
Jessie nodded before she led the way to Tifa's room.
The man carried Tifa close to himself in his arms, careful not to hold her too tight for fear of hurting her and giving her bruises… after all, he had given her enough painful memories before… And just looking at the blood on her clothes made him feel so jaded.
Suddenly, he just wanted everything to stop… stop in that moment when she's in his arms asleep… maybe then he could just stay with her and pretend that everything is okay…
But nothing is okay in his mind…
He still has other things to accomplish.
So the moment they got inside her room, he instantly laid her down on the bed, keeping his eyes on her for a few seconds before he removed the cowboy hat from his head, letting his long silver tresses cascade down his shoulders.
Jessie raised her eyebrow upon seeing his long silver hair. "Man, you've got long hair! Did you color it?" she asked in amazement.
He ignored her as he placed the hat beside Tifa and just walked out of the room with a stiff look on his face.
Sephiroth got out of the bar and he continued to walk down the streets of Sector 7. He touched his bloodstained gloved hand. It was her blood.
But he isn't sorry.
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-Fin-
Author's Notes: I dedicate this fic to one of my friends from my inner posse, Scarlet---luv lots, Tifa ^o^ Heehee! *baaaah… in our posse, they refer to me as Tifa* gyah…
So how'd you like it? It's one-shot done in a boring Monday afternoon from 5:00-5:50 on the 25th of August 2003. It's just to relieve myself from the bad thoughts roaming around my head about a certain Cloud Strife guy in my life who deserves to die… =) Mwahahahaha