Author's note: Uhhh... I wrote this in school on Friday. I actually ended up changing quite a bit from the first draft, & I'm a LOT happier with this version... I really hated the original's end. Hah. But anyway.
Title comes from a line from "I just want you to be happy" by Bonnie Pink.
Fullmetal Alchemist & all characters herein are (c) Hiromu Arakawa & Square-Enix.

Decay
by Kusabi

Border patrol.
One would think that Roy would constantly regret this decision. Going from a highly respected colonel, to a low, corporal border patrol man? It would sound ridiculous to anyone else.
But he knew his decision was right. He couldn't have stayed as a colonel any longer…
The regret would have driven him mad.
But maybe, he figured, he was just doomed to madness.
Every time he shut his eyes, the faces of all those he had killed came back to haunt him. But he didn't think of it in those words. To him, it was the faces of all those people that he murdered.
So he hid in this cabin, watching the northern border, in the cold, constant snow. It wasn't easy to leave everything behind, but he had resigned himself to the fact that he deserved this solitude, no matter how much he hated it. Everyday, thinking about his life. Thinking about everything. Throwing regrets to the side, simply because he felt that it was his own personal punishment.
On this day, as he sat in his thoughts, a knock came from the door. For safety, he grabbed his shotgun, and headed over to the source of the sound. He refused to use his alchemy now, even if it was to save his own life. Gripping the handle of the door, he moved the gun up, so that it would be near the face of the person, hopefully. He quickly swung the door open, then moved that hand to the door. But he quickly dropped the gun, as his eyes met those of his former first lieutenant, Riza Hawkeye.
"Lieutenant Hawkeye…" he spoke quietly, suddenly dumbfounded. "Why are you…"
"I requested vacation," she interrupted. Without even waiting on Roy, she stepped inside the cabin, pulling the door shut. Noticing his confusion, she smiled warmly at him. "It's been too long… I wanted to see you."
"Yeah," Roy replied simply, with a nod, returning the smile. It felt like a dream. After running off, after being away for so long, and then suddenly a part of the past shows up. Unreal. Before he let himself get too carried away in his thoughts, he began urging Riza over towards the seats next to the fire place. "Come sit over here. It's actually warm," he told her.
As the two basked in the fire's glow, they sat in silence. Despite having been away from each other for so long, they could find absolutely nothing to talk about. The distance had brought about an awkward air between the two. Their familiarity had been, to the hidden dismay of both of them, destroyed.
"Why?" Roy finally spoke, eager to break the silence. "Why did you come here?"
Riza stared ahead at him, wanting to lock into his eyes, to make a point. But his eyes were staring into the fire. As her eyes dropped to look down at her own lap, she quietly replied, "Like I said… I missed you."
Even quieter, almost a whisper, she said, "It's already been one year."
Looking over at her, Roy thought, Already? He didn't keep a calendar around, and therefore, didn't pay attention to the days. When he came here, he didn't care about the days, just as long as he was getting what he supposedly deserved.
"Oh," he simply replied, keeping his eyes on her. He knew exactly what her showing up here meant. It meant that she still cared for him strongly, which made him actually begin to feel guilty for leaving Central behind.
Holding her gaze on the flames, Riza asked, "Why'd you leave?"
"I've told you that," Roy replied curtly. Before he left, he'd explained it to her more than once. Which only succeeded in pissing her off, because she thought that his reasons were ridiculous.
Snapping her head around, Riza's eyes met his, anger visible in them. "I know that you feel guilty. But you didn't have to leave Central for this!" Emotion was extremely noticeable in her voice, something that didn't happen too often. Though, since it was just the two of them in this room, she didn't care. "I told you so many times… this just isn't the way to go!"
"Riza…"
"You left us all behind," she continued, not even caring that he had begun to speak. "Not just me, everyone. For this little cabin? You've got to be kidding me! Maybe it's selfish of me to say this, but this is selfish of YOU to do this!" She paused, eyes moving to the ground. Every second she looked at him, she could feel the anger rising. It seemed crazy that the once sensible Colonel Mustang, who was always playful, but with a hidden seriousness, had turned this way.
"I can't take this, Roy." Leaving behind those words, she ran out, without even grabbing her coat.
Roy stared, shocked, at the spot where she had just been standing. After a few seconds, he knew what he had to do, and ran out the door as well. As he ran, he could hear the screams of those he killed run through his head. But he refused to listen to them, and left his regrets behind in the fallen snow. The only thing he wanted to do was find Riza.
It didn't take too long. Though both of them were athletic, Roy was more used to the climate. His run was just as well as it would have been on a regular day in Central. As the wind blew hard, Roy didn't even bother to cover his face, though he could feel the burn of the cold air on his cheeks.
A minute passed. He was finally catching up to her. Worry ran through him, wondering how long Riza would be able to last in this weather. He began calling her name, but she simply ignored him.
Thirty more seconds. He finally caught up, and threw his arms around her, stopping at the same time. This caused them to both fall, but he moved his body so that they'd land with his back in the snow. He laid like that, while Riza squirmed, trying to get out of his grasp.
"Riza," he spoke softly into her ear. "I'm sorry, it was a bad choice. You were right, like usual…" As he spoke to her, her squirming subsided. Hearing Roy say things like this was a sign that he was finally succumbing to his own weakness. Not even he could pretend to be completely strong for forever.
The began getting up, but Riza quickly fell back down. Running through all that cold had finally caught up with her. Slightly panicking, Roy picked her up, holding her body close to his, and ran back towards the cabin.
I'm not the only one who needs to show weakness more often, Riza.
Once they reached the cabin, Roy set Riza down in his bed, placing the few blankets he had over her. He also added more logs to the fire, as to get more heat going in the room. Pulling a chair over by the bed, he waited, keeping his eyes on her, thinking only about what a fool he was for leaving her behind. People like Riza are extremely hard to find, and he knew that. Deep in his mind, he knew, too, that she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
When she awoke, her eyes first adjusted to the unfamiliar setting, then moved over, locking with Roy's once again. His face showed that he was relieved to see her wake up, and this made her smile.
"Riza," he spoke, lightly. "I'm really sorry…"
Laughing a little, she replied, "Don't be… I'm the one that ran out into the snow like an idiot."
"No, it's not that. I'm sorry because I left. It was a stupid decision, and I've realized that now. I need to get out of here as soon as possible. I want to return to Central, and I want to go back with you."
Shocked at Roy's sudden rush of emotion, Riza smiled even brighter. "Yes," she said kindly, "I'd like that. I'd like to catch my breath first, so… please, stay with me until then."
Nodding, Roy returned the smile.
"Of course."