Show me What im looking for

by Crimson-abuse

Her eyes stated to close then, and something warm was draped over her. “I have saved you…” she heard. “Now,sleep eternity away,for you have earned it,” And those were the last true words she would ever hear.

Show me what I'm looking for

Note: I would like to start off by saying that this isn't a sonfic, as you get farther into the reading, you may think it is…but its not. So just enjoy and tell me what you think.

This story is based on the song, 'Show me what I'm looking for' by Carolina Liar, great band.

--A Crimson-abuse production

Sakura stood by her window sill as the small white flaks fell from the sky. She watched as they landed softly on her bare arms and legs. She watched as they melted then dripped down to her feet. She was cold. She had on a short white gown, stopping at her knees. Her body was coved with goose bumps, but she didn't care. She was broken…she felt dead, almost like she was watching herself live from somewhere else…somewhere out there…

Her dead eyes grazed the forest on the horizon. Everything was gone from her heart. Everything and everyone that ever matter…was gone…she was so…so alone. She felt empty, she felt like crying, but she couldn't, she had no more tears to shed. She felt like breaking something, but she was too weak to even lift a finger. She felt like dying…and she would…she would give into the grief and despair and she would perish along with the rest of them….

Below her stood an empty street, the moon was high in the sky now. She was very cold. Her parents had left her…and never returned. They told her not to worry…that it was a simple mission…it would be their last they said. But they never came back for her. Then Sasuke left her…and Naruto went to train…five months ago…she had never once heard from him. Tsunade wouldn't let her work…she said she wasn't in good enough shape…said she needed to rest. But no…all she needed was to die. She had no one…and no one had her…

That was when she heard the song…for the first time. Her pale face light up, her eyes grew wide with curiosity. It was coming from the forest…it was calling out to her…she couldn't hear the words quite right…but they seemed so sad…sad like her… she wanted to know those words…but she wasn't sure she could make it, it had been weeks since she had slept or eaten.

"Wait, I'm wrong
I Should have done better than this…"

There. She though. She heard the words. A smile touched her cold colorless lips as she shivered. "I'm coming…" she whispered to no one. She slowly walked out of her room, window wide open, and made her way to the stairs, it felt like forever. It felt like she wouldn't make it in time…what if they left without her?! She started breathing heavily then. "Wait!" she called out as she opened her front door, cold air rushing at her once more. She was out of her real state of mind to grab a coat or maybe real clothes suited for winter. She had been like this for a while…just standing there…starring. This was the first time she had made an effort to move…she just didn't care anymore.

Sakura stopped and looked up at the black sky, the flakes were getting bigger, and the wind was picking up. Her long hair blew around her face as she shook. It was almost impossible to move, but she did, one foot after another, each bringing her closer to him…to the voice.

"Please, I'll be strong
I'm finding it hard to resist…"

So show me what I'm looking for She could make out the trees now, but the gate still loomed in the distance, she knew of a secret path though it, but it was hard to move, it was heavy. She wasn't sure she could get that far.

"Save me, I'm lost
Oh lord, I've been waiting for you …"

What did the words mean? What was he saying? The words rang in her ears but they didn't register in her mind. "Please don't leave me…" she whimpered into the cold. Her feet felt frozen solid, they hurt though, she should have brought shoes. She should have just gone back, but it was to late now…he knew she was coming; his voice was filling with excitement.

"I'll pay any cost,
Save me from being confused
Show me what I'm looking for…oh lord"

As she got to the gate she could see that the board that covered the entrance was open already. "w-what?" she asked herself while stopping. Had he opened it for her? She smiled once more and tried her hardest to run, she was in the woods now, and he was so close. She came to an opening, where his voice filed her hollow body with its grace and beauty.

Sakura fell to her knees and sobbed. "Please…" she whispered. "Please take me…I don't want to be alive any longer…save me…" she looked around but saw no one. Was she making the voices up? Was she delusional? Or was he out there? She stared crying harder, her words louder. "WHERE ARE YOU!!?" she screamed into the now thunderous wind, she could barely hear herself. No one answered, and the singing stopped. She knew she was done for…she knew that she was going to die there...no sense in trying any longer. She slowly wrapped her arms around herself, to stop the violent shivers though her body and curled up into a ball, lying on the cold snowy ground.

And she sang…

"Wait, I'm wrong
Should have done better than this
Please, I'll be strong
I'm finding it hard to resist
So show me what I'm looking for

Save me, I'm lost
Oh lord, I've been waiting for you
I'll pay any cost
Save me from being confused
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for…oh lord"

Her body was then filled with warmth as she sang with him, his voice once more filling her mind and soul. But she could no longer move…only her lips, she opened her eyes, and in a blurry image she could see him. She saw his soft face, and his long dark hair that blew lightly around him. the rest of his features were a blur. The one thing that stood out the most though, the one thing that made her heart start to race…were his eyes. His piercing red eyes that seem to bore into her own, making her tired.

The last part he sang alone…for she didn't know the words.

"Don't let go
I've wanted this far too long
Mistakes become regrets
I've learned to love abuse
Please show me what I'm looking for"

She knew this was the end, she felt like she was losing her mind ever so slowly, she thought she saw his eyes start to spin, but that was absurd.

Her eyes stated to close then, and something hard and warm was draped over her. "I have saved you…" she heard. "Now...sleep eternity away…for you have earned it…"

And those were the last true words she would ever hear…

But not before one last word, left her blue frozen lips.

"Sasuke…"

Warmth…

Softness…

Pain…

These were all the things she had hoped to have in heaven, cause what was the point if there was no pain? And she had plenty. Her head ached, her feet throbbed, and her hands were numb. Her stomach hurt the worst though, she was ravenous. She didn't know that you could get hungry in heaven. She wanted to open her eyes, she wanted to see if heaven was really what it was cracked up to be…but she couldn't. What if she was in hell…for leaving behind all those she cared for…for leaving them with broken hearts and blood on their hands? It was their fault after all…this never would have happened if they would have just pulled their heads out…if they would have just asked her how she was…instead of just assuming. Not once did anyone ask her…not once.

"Sakrua…"

Her eyes shot open. "What?" she asked automatically, her heart skipping a beat. She knew that voice…but she couldn't put a name or face to it. That was when she saw where she was. a room. a dark room. She was in a bed, with black silk sheets, and a huge fluffy blanket. She had a canopy draped around the bed top, making it impossible to see much of the room. She slowly turned to her side as she felt something move. It was a person… she wanted to jump away, to move and flee. But what was the point? This was heaven so it had to be someone she knew…it had to be someone she liked. But if this was hell…

"How are you?"

Her heart stopped, and her mouth was left gapping. This was heaven…it had to be. How else would he have known to ask her? How? She smiled and slowly laid her head on the man's bare chest. "Better…now that you're here…" she whispered. She thought she would have felt better when she was dead, but no. she still felt hollow, she couldn't even muster up her words to sound like they had meaning. She sounded like a robot.

She heard him chuckle. "Oh really?" he ran his hand along the back of her neck, sweeping her hair to the side. His hand was so warm, his body was hot, making her feel like she could sleep. "Do you know who I am little one?" he asked with a hushed voice.

She stopped smiling, she stopped liking his touch. She pushed herself up and glared. "I am not little." She stated simply while grinding her teeth. She hated feeling weak, feeling like she couldn't do anything. She was mad at someone she didn't even know…

For years she had endured the smart remarks, the insults, the back stabbing words that hurt like hell. Before they all left her, she was strong; she was a strong, independent kunoichi. She had friends, family, and a life. She was strong… just hearing him say those words sent a crawling feeling of pure hatred down her spine.

"But I don't care who you are…."

She added to lighten the mood a bit. She wanted to hit him honestly, but she couldn't be anger…she had no emotion what so ever. She was a doll…a stupid…little emotionless doll…weak

He placed his hand on the small of her back and pushed her back down to his chest. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to offend you…" he stated. His voice was so….so..sexy? it was exotic. She wanted to know who he was. "My name I will keep silent for now Sakrua…I don't want to fill you head with fear. "He stroked her back then. She could feel that she was wearing new clothes. She had on pants and a heavy sweater.

She smiled into his chest. "ok…" she muttered. Before closing her eyes. She then heard his voice once more before she feel into a peaceful sleep.

"Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple
Sometimes good bye's the only way"

"Why is she here?" Came a gruff voice from across the small table. He had dark blue skin, and black beady eyes. He wore a black long sleeved mesh top, with a pair of black pants.

The man before him shrugged. "Beats me, Itachi is always finding new ways to surprise me…" muttered another man. This man had long blonde hair, and deep blue eyes. He sat on a bar stool, sipping out of a tall bottle. "Maybe he was lonely?" he stated. "He said that he just found her lying there…said she was going crazy or something…" he muttered under his breath before taking another sip.

The man before him shook his head. "Nah, you're talking about a guy who murdered his whole family Deidara, a man who spends his spare time starring outside alone." He chuckled. "And if he was lonely…he would come talk to me, and you don't see him ever doing that on his own free will. Unless he means business." He muttered while taking a swig of his own drink.

"I think your wrong Kisame."

Both men turned to see a red haired man enter the small Kitchen as well leaning on the counter top and glared at them both.

"And whys that?" he asked.

"I think he might actually be lonely…why do you think he stares out the window? And maybe he -like the rest of us- he finds you irritating."

Deidara chuckled and shook his head. "true to that!" he moved his head just in time to doge the glass bottle hurling at his head, only making him laugh harder.

"Thanks a lot Sasori." Grumbled Kisame while getting up and leaving the room.

Sasori shrugged, taking his place.

After deidara calmed down he sighed and trued to his partner. "You really think he's lonely?" he asked.

The man shook his head. "No…he's Itachi." He stated simply.

Deidara nodded once and the room grew quite for quite some time. Before the screaming started.

"OH MY GOD!!!" screamed Sakrua at the top of her lungs.

The man on the bed narrowed his eyes at her loud screams. "What is wrong Sakrua?" he asked in a near calm voice. He sat up and looked at her; she was on the other side of the bed now, her jade eyes huge with fear as she starred at him. Her mouth gaping.

She pointed a finger towards him. "y-your…o-h god I am in heaven…" she muttered to herself while retracting her finger as if he would eat it off.

He raised his brow. "What are you talking about?" he asked. He was aware now that light shined in the room, she could probably see him he guessed. She took it worse than he thought she would. He had thought that she was emotionless…empty…but now she was cowering in fear from him.

"oh..ah…I thought…you were…." She trailed off and looked away, her eyes getting that empty look he was use to. "Someone else…" she whispered. She looked back up at his emotionless expression. "I though you were a boy I once knew…and I got excited…"

Itachi sighed and reached out for her. He had an idea of who she was talking about, he was sure that by now his little brother looked something like him. She must have known him closely to be acting like that. He had brought her out of her trance. And now she was back. "Do you now who I am?" he asked her once more.

Sakura shook her head. "No…should I?" she asked while looking at his head that was now rested on her shoulder.

Itachi just shook his head, retracting his hand. "no." he pulled back the covers then, he was about to get up when he heard her gasp. He turned to her and narrowed his eyes. She was confusing. She was starring with wide eyes once more at him, at his chest. He looked down to find nothing there. He looked back up and starred at her like she was crazy.

Sakura looked back up and shook her head. "Ah…sorry you just…ah…look…um…"

Oh.

"Never mind…" she muttered

He almost laughed, but not really. She was looking at his chest because she was a girl…because she was looking at him like a piece of candy. He got up and walked over to a door. "stay." He ordered while opening the door and leaving.

Sakura heard a click, signaling he had locked the door. She then felt it once more.

Loneliness.

She sure that she wasn't dead now, there was no way he would have left her. She crawled off the large bed and stepped on to a hardwood floor. She retracted her foot, the floor was cold. She then thought about what she had just been though and placed her foot firmly on the floor, it sent shivers though her body but nothing more.

Her feet still ached but she ignored them. She walked over to a window and peered out it. She was surprised to say the least. Out side the ground was covered with snow, there were trees all around them, she could see another part of the building she was in, it was very large…and it was connected strangely to the mountain. She could see two windows vaguely, they were discussed very well in the rock, and she could see a chimney, to the regular eye it would appear to be a tree trunk….well with smoke coming out. But as of now there was none.

She wondered then…if she wasn't dead…where was she? Why was she there?

Had the man in the bed been her savior? She could barley remember anything…all she could hear were the lyrics to his song…it rang in her head like it had been there along…

The room she was in was plan. It held no feeling of desire, it didn't feel warm. There was the bed that she had occupied to her right. A nightstand, a large dresser by the door, and a small wooden chair by the bed. It had all the necessities, no clutter. It was like no one had even lived here before her.

She wondered why it didn't bother her that much when he had demanded that she stay, as if she were a stupid puppy. Usually she would be anger…but what was usual? It had been months since she had felt like she was herself. She felt like an empty shell of what she once was…she just didn't feel like Sakrua…and she missed her happy self, But deep down, she knew she was still there, she had showed herself when she had thought the man was…Sasuke.

It was strange though…it couldn't be Itachi…she had always pictured him old and cross, with 'murderer' written all over his face. This man was young, and he had smooth skin, and she had no idea what was written on his face, he seemed to hide his emotions, it was hard for her to tell what he was thinking. She placed her fingers on the window, letting them slide down, leaving finger print smudges. If it was him…there was no way she could stay here…and more importantly…she had to find a new way to get to heaven. She wished that the man from before had kept his word. He told her that she would sleep for eternity…that she had earned it. But if that was true, that what the hell was she doing here?

Before she could ask herself more questions she heard foot steps coming close to her, they stopped behind her. She slowly turned to see the man caring a tray. There was a hot bowl of steaming Raman, and some fruit. Raman…noodles…Naruto… she starred at the Raman. Naruto liked Raman…he loved it. And now…

She looked up at him with pained eyes. "Do I have to eat it?" she asked him.

Now that she was up close, she could see him more clearly. He had two thin lines running down the sides of his nose, making him look old and mature. His eyes were piercing red…unlike Sasuke's. His were always dark blue, unless he was using his sharigan. He had bangs that covered part of his face, the rest was in a loose pony tail behind his head.

He didn't answer her and walked back over to the bed, where he set the tray down on the night stand. He motioned her over to sit by him on the edge of the bed.

Without thinking about how he was treating her, she followed his orders and sat down beside him. She could feel his warmth radiating off of him, she unconsciously scooted closer to him, he didn't move away.

"eat." He stated while picking up the bowl.

Just looking at it made her sick, she shook her head. "no." she went to stand but his hand was around her wrist, pulling her back forcefully.

"eat." He said more sternly.

She could feel a dark aura coming off him, it made her feel uneasy, but there was no way she would give in to him.

"let go, I don't want it." She squeaked. She surprised herself when her voice came out like that. Was she scared? Just looking at the Raman made her want to just throw up, there was no way she would ever eat Raman again…never

The man glared at her. "If you don't eat this, then you will go hungry." He growled.

Sakura thought, she was starving, in the last couple weeks she had eaten nothing, she couldn't find the will to eat food, to drink water, to live. But now she was having second thoughts, it pained her to be hungry, it hurt. She lifted up her hands and took the bowl from him, not daring to look him in the eyes, as if to say 'you win'.

She picked up a pair of chopsticks he had given her and took a bit. It tasted bitter in her mouth, like poison. She wondered if Naruto was eating Raman now…she wondered if he even knew she was gone…if anyone knew…. She had kept to herself for quite sometime there was no reason for them to talk to her what so ever, she had done nothing to them…

It wasn't still she was on her fourth bit that she noticed she was crying…real tears, streaming down her face, and onto her lap. She could feel the man beside her eye's upon her.

"Did I make you cry?" he asked with an empty voice.

She was sure he meant to make his words sound caring, but they sounded dry and bored. "no." she mumbled while taking another bit. Somehow the bitterness went away.

"then what's wrong?" he asked after what seemed like hours.

She looked up at him, to see that his eyes held a certain emotion…but what? Guilt? Fear? These both seemed foolish to her, why would he feel guilty or sad? This man clearly had no clue how to feel. "I was just thinking…about my old friends…my best friend…us to…us to love Raman…" by now she was sobbing. Where has this come from? Why? She hadn't cried in years, but why now? "Dose he know I'm gone? D-does he even care?!" she asked. She didn't expect him to answer…all she expected was for him to just sit there like a bump on a log.

But that's not what happened. He took the bowl of ramen from her and put it on the tray. He stood and placed his hands in his pockets while looking down at her. "You should just stop worrying about things that you'll never see again, your old friends as just that. Old. The past. I am your present and I am you future. From now on you wont cry...you will not think of-"

"Get out."

His eyes narrowed.

"What the hell makes you think you can tell me what to do!? I don't even know you! You think you can just tell me not to feel? You want me to just be like you?! Have no emotion and not care about other people around?!"

"You already are." He growled.

She was taken aback by his response. She could see his arms shaking, was he going to hit her? "W-what?"

"You have nothing inside you…all you have in pent up anger, you don't care bout anyone…you just wish to die, you think no one cares. And it's despicable. Unlike me you lack self respect, you lack dignity." he turned away from her and started for the door. "Do me a favor and stop pitying yourself." And then he was gone.

Sakura sat there, in the empty room…and she did nothing. She stopped crying, she stopped eating, she stopped caring. She didn't take pity on herself, she told herself that she was lucky that she was given another chance to live a good life, even though she didn't want it, she would take it with open arms. All she could do was pray that her time would come…that death would take over her as soon as possible. And then she closed her eyes, got under the covers, and sang to herself, her voice filling the room until she fell asleep

"I close both locks below the window….I close both blinds and turn away" her voice drifted into nothing but silence, but the song didn't stop…

"Sometimes solutions aren't so simple…Sometimes good bye's the only way"

Itachi sang quietly outside the door, his head leaning on the frame, his eyes closed….

Itachi walked into the kitchen as Deidra sat his empty bottle of sake on the table. Sasori looked up and cocked his head. "Why did you take her here?" he asked. She really had no business there, if it was a bed partner he was looking for, he knew that he would never take her back to the house, he would keep them in the town a few miles down the mountain. So that wasn't the reason.

Deidra looked up at him in wonderment as well. He too wondered why she was there. He hadn't seen what she looked like yet, but maybe he could sneak a peak when him and Kisame left to patrol the area.

Itachi walked over to the fridge and took out left over take out, while taking it to an empty place at the table. He grabbed a pair of chop sticks and dug in, his eyes never meeting theirs. He made it clear he wasn't going to say anything; he kept his mouth full mostly, trying to hurry his meal so he could leave the room.

Sasori looked away with petty disappointment, there had to be something special about her…maybe he planned on having her join their organization. His eyes widened, and then he glared at him from the corner of his eyes. That wasn't allowed, and it was illogical, the last time someone brought another into their group it turned out to be Tobi, and that was a mistake everyone regretted.

Itachi glanced up to meet Sasori's glare, he starred at him from beneath his half closed eyelids until he swallowed the last bite of his food. He stood up and placed his cartoon in the trash, before leaving the room he turned to Deidara. "tell Kisame I wont be going with him today, but Sasori would be more than glad to do so…" he muttered before flashing him another glance, he saw his eyes narrowed and his jaw set. He wouldn't object…he knew better. He then left the room.

Deidara slumped in his seat. And groaned. "aww now I cant see her..yeah…"

Sasori intensified his glare at the blonde and shook his head.

--

"what do you mean she's been acting funny?"

"I haven't seen her in days Naruto! No one has!"

"…" Naruto narrowed his eyes in thought. "When did this happen?" he asked

Ino shrugged. "After she got the news of Sasuke's death, and you left to train. And a little after her parents died you idiot!" she growled and rolled her eyes. "what a stupid question…" she huffed and continued walking. She shivered once and looked up at the sky. "Man its freezing out; I hope she isn't outside in this whether."

Naruto said nothing, he starred at the ground and continued on.

"hey…" stated Ino. "Naruto?"

"…"

"aww man, come on, don't blame yourself…Sasuke was bound to die sooner or later, I mean he was with that sick twisted snake guy!" she stated. "We all knew he wouldn't survive there…and with her parents, I mean….well they were kind of old I guess…" she trailed off, not having anything to say that could possible defend why he left.

"I shouldn't have left her…" he muttered. "I shouldn't have abandoned her here when things got tough." He slowed his pace and looked up at her house, seeing her window opened. He narrowed his eyes once more. "What the…"

Before Ino could respond, he was gone from her side, and was inside of Sakrua's snow filled room. "Sakura?!" he called. There was no sound in the house. He couldn't feel a presence. "SAKRUA!" he called again.

Ino stood next to him, her eyes wide. "W-where is she?" she asked softly, her voice shaking. "Sakrua?!" she yelled. She could feel tears slide down her face. She knew that she shouldn't assume things, but only the worst was possible.

"Go get Tsunade…"

Ino looked at Naruto. His hands were fisted, his knuckles turning white. "Naruto I-"

"I said go get her dammit!" he hissed though clenched teeth.

Ino jumped back, but slowly turned around, doing as she was told.

Naruto just shook his head once she left, falling to his knees. He starred at a picture frame that was on the floor before him. Team 7. Before everything…happened. "God Sakrua…what have I done…?" he whimpered.

--