"…So in order for—" Mr. Shuester was cut off by the appearance of Shelby in the doorway.
"I need to speak with Rachel for a moment," Shelby said softly. Mr. Shuester nodded and Shelby walked over to where Rachel was sitting in the back row.
"What's wrong?" Rachel asked, noticing Shelby's somber look.
"Jesse was in a car crash this morning. He just passed. He told me to tell you and to give you this. He was planning on leaving it in your mailbox on his way to the airport. If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here." Shelby handed her a box with a piece of loose leaf wrapped around it. Rachel gripped the box tightly. She felt like her heart had broken into a million tiny pieces.
"I think this is the kind of thing that a girl would talk about with her mom. As it stands, I think I'll go talk to Hannah after school." Rachel responded, shooting a look to Puck, who confirmed with a nod that his mom would be home.
"I know I said that I couldn't ever be your mom because we wouldn't have those memories, but I would like you to know that you can talk to me. I'll always be there for you."
"Thank you," Rachel responded quietly. She smiled sadly at Shelby, who squeezed her hand and stood up. She sent one more glance at Rachel, whose head was down and she was clenching the box tightly, before walking out the door.
"Rachel—" Finn started.
"I need to be alone right now." Rachel cut him off quickly. She stood up
"Berry—" Santana started, seeing tears falling down Rachel's face. Rachel didn't even look at her as she walked out of the room.
Quinn and Tina quickly got up and began to follow her, Santana and Brittany following, leaving the guys and Mercedes in the room.
"Why was she so upset? He broke her heart." Mercedes asked.
"Mercedes, this isn't some form of petty revenge. He's gone forever." Mike responded.
"You don't think she still has feeling for him, do you?" Finn asked. He was trying to win Rachel over; his plan wouldn't work if she still had feelings for Jesse.
"She still loves him. Yeah, he broke her heart, but he was the first guy in a while to treat her like she deserved, regardless of whether or not he was using her. He respected her and didn't care who saw them together. She hadn't with someone like that since me and her were together for a week." Puck said, staring at the door, waiting for Rachel to walk back through.
*With the girls*
"Tina?" Rachel asked in a broken voice from her spot on center stage.
"I'm here." Tina said, her heart breaking as she saw Rachel curled up on the floor of the stage. She hurried over to her and wrapped her arms around her. That was when Rachel lost all self-control. She broke down, sobs racking her body. The three Cheerios quickly ran onto the stage and surrounded her.
"I still love him…" Rachel cried, her heart breaking even more. She cried until she wasn't able to cry anymore and with shaking hands pulled the box and paper out.
Rachel,
I know you won't believe me, but I was serious when I said that I loved you, except I still did when the egg incident happened. You will never know how much it hurt to egg you, to watch you being egged. I want you to know that, no matter what, I will never stop loving you. You're the perfect woman for me. I hope that someday our paths will cross again and you can forgive me for everything. Who knows? Maybe we'll become the next Broadway power couple. You, Rachel Berry, are the Mimi to my Rodger. The Elphaba to my Fiyero. The Whatshername to my Johnny. I truly hope to see you again and give our relationship an honest try, no lies or secrets. I love you Rachel Berry. It only took a few days to fall for you but it will take a life time to get over you. In the words of Journey, "I'm forever yours".
Faithfully,
Jesse St. James
With tears falling down her face, Rachel opened the box and gasped. Inside as a silver heart shaped locket, a gold star in the center. The star was outlined by small sunset topaz and the heart was in-lined with small mystic fire topaz.She pulled it out and Tina helped her put it on. Opening it, she smiled at the picture. It was a picture of Times Square. But more importantly, it was a billboard for Wicked, photo-shopped to advertise her first big role of Elphaba. She closed the locket and gripped it tightly, hoping that she would feel Jesse in it. And she did. She stood up and walked back to the choir room. Ignoring everyone in the room, she sat down at the piano. Mr. Shuester shooed everyone out as she began to play a melody that she had become so accustomed to.
I've been alone with you inside my mind I can see it in your eyes I long to see the sunlight in your hair 'Cause I wonder where you are Hello, is it me you're looking for?
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you ...
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying ... I love you
The last three words were whispered. The club stood outside the room listening. Once she finished, they walked back in to help their captain try to pick up the pieces. Puck was more worried than anyone, but he knew that all she needed was time. He was the only one in the club who knew just how hard Rachel had fallen for Jesse, just how in love with Jesse she was. He held her close and said a little prayer that she would be able to bounce back soon because broken Rachel was scarier than pissed Rachel.
The locket became Rachel's motivation. She never took it off. Whenever the world told her "no", she would see the locket and reply with "fuck you, I'll do it anyway". And that's how she made it to Julliard. That's how she got her first leading role in an off-Broadway production. That how she got to be where she was now, standing on stage for final bows, covered in green make-up with Puck, her fiancé, in the front row and cheering for her so loud she could hear him over the rest of the audience. She silently thanked Jesse, after all, he was the source of her motivation and grabbed the locket and closed her eyes. She could feel his pride in her surround her and she knew that she finally accepted that he wasn't coming back.