A/N: I've gotten really tired of seeing so many cliched Inuyasha fanfics, especially in the Kag/Ses fandom. It's been rather disconcerting to see so many stories with the same premise, usually with Kagome seeing Inuyasha and Kikyou together and running away only to stumble into Sesshoumaru. (eyeroll) And the whole thing with Kikyou being an evil conniving bitch bent on making Kagome's life a living hell? Seriously, people just don't give her enough credit.
Thusly, I've again taken up my mouse and keyboard and, with determination, I shall be writing what I hope will turn out to be an original and engaging Kag/Ses pairing fanfic. Wish me luck, neh?
(Quick note: this is mostly AU. I read spoilers about the ending of the series, and now I'm garnking out about the whole "marriage" thing. Its making me want to hug poor Sesshoumaru...even if it means my death.)
Disclaimer: InuYasha and its respective characters are copyrighted to Rumiko Takahashi and her brilliant mind. I make nothing out of writing this, except the pleasure of the written word and reviews from readers.
Let's Make Believe That We Exist
Chapter 1
...and as the young girl stood at the edge of the clearing, staring at the boy pinned to the great God Tree, an overwhelming sense of familiarity overcame her. She'd never before met this boy, and yet she felt as if she'd known him all her life...
Kagome Higurashi, author of the popular novel series "A Modern Fairytale," was in a bind. For the first time since her first novel was published--she'd been sixteen at the time--she didn't know what to write. She'd had bouts of writer's block before, but she'd always eventually overcome them by using one of her frequently strange dreams as inspiration. Six weeks had passed since the debut of the third novel of the "A Modern Fairytale" series, and her deadline for the rough draft was coming up on her fast. The only thing she'd gotten done in all that time...was nothing at all.
"Aww, man," she groaned, drumming her fingers agitatedly on the black plastic of her laptop. "Why can't I figure out what happens next?" Pouting, she glared at the blinking black cursor on the fresh document page. She was pretty sure the damnable thing was mocking her.
Knowing that she wouldn't get anywhere fast in the next few minutes, Kagome rose out of her desk chair and padded her way softly to the kitchen. The apartment she'd moved into after the debut of the first "A Modern Fairytale" novel was small, only just a few square feet bigger than her bedroom back home, but it was her own place, something she could be proud of. Granted, her next door neighbors were rather rowdy, on both sides, and the apartment above hers sounded like a herd of wild elephants was living there, but at least it was a place she'd gotten on her own without any help from her family.
Speaking of family, she remembered that her little brother was turning fifteen in a few days. Like most siblings, she and Souta, her little brother, rarely got along, but at least they didn't fight all the time. Kagome hadn't been home in a while, and hadn't talked to her family in that long a time, too, so she decided she might as well go home to visit them while wishing her little brother a happy birthday. Yup, that's what she'd do, she decided, secretly hoping that her grandfather would regale her with more feudal tales that she could use in hopes of breaking past this block.
Nodding along with her decision, she opened the fridge and retrieved a carton of orange juice before closing the door. She returned to her desk, sipping from the carton as she again stared at the blank document on her computer screen.
"I'll figure you out real soon," she murmured quietly, swiping at a tear that had fallen from her watering eyes. Staring at a glaringly white screen was beginning to take its toll, but Kagome could be stubborn with the best of them. "Real soon..."
--
The darkening clouds hung low in the sky, warning of ominous days to come. Though the forecast had said that there was only a small chance of rain, the clouds spoke differently. "At least I remembered to pack an umbrella this time," Kagome laughed quietly to herself, staring out the window of the bus. Her stop was coming up, and the excitement of seeing the house she'd grown up in was beginning to overwhelm her usual calm serenity.
"Its never good to be caught in a rainstorm without an umbrella," the old woman next to her cackled, agreeing with her muttered words. "That's why I carry one no matter what the forecast says. After all, one can never predict what the gods' feel like doing."
Kagome turned to eye her, smiling slightly. "My grandfather would agree with you there."
"Oh? Wait...you can't be...! Why, if it isn't Higurashi's granddaughter!"
Blinking, Kagome was a bit taken aback by the elderly woman. She knew her? Come to think of it, there were a lot of people that visited the Sunset Shrine, most of whom Kagome had never bothered to get to know. For all she knew, this old woman was a regular visitor. "Uhm, yea, I'm Kagome Higurashi," she murmured, fighting the blush staining her cheeks.
The old woman cackled. "Dear, don't be embarrassed if you don't remember me. It's been many years since I last visited the shrine; why, I think the last time I visited was when your father passed away."
Her words froze the blood in Kagome's veins, her blue eyes widening. It'd been too long since she'd even thought of her father; in some distant part of her mind, she had always wondered why her father was never there. Her mother had occasionally mentioned her father in the past, when she'd still been living at home, but the sadness on her mother's face had always stopped her from asking what had happened to her father. With a pale face, she shifted to completely look at the old woman, her mouth opening to ask her what Kagome had been too afraid to ask before.
However, the bus slowed to a stop, a few feet from the bottom of the steps of the Sunset Shrine.
"Here's your stop, dear," the old woman said, standing so that Kagome could scootch out from the window seat. "I hope you have a wonderful visit."
"Uh, thanks," Kagome said, forcing the crestfallen expression from her face as she stood and made her way out of the bus. With her little bag of clothes and necessities in one hand and the unopened umbrella in the other, she exited the bus and stared up at the steps leading home. Home...it was a word that she'd long forgotten the meaning to without realizing, without intending to. When had she begun feeling that this place, this place where she'd been raised since infancy, was no longer home to her?
Shaking herself free of the depressing thoughts, she placed one foot forward, followed by another and another. A journey begins with the first step, she thought to herself, walking ever forward to the bottom of the steps. Upon reaching them, she took a deep breath, and at last placed a foot on the bottom step. With that accomplished, she pushed herself up and placed her foot on the next step. And so on she ascended the steps, her heart beating wildly in her chest the closer she got to the top of the steps. What seemed like ages later, she was at the top of steps, looking at the grounds of the Sunset Shrine, the home that was no longer home.
"Kagome!"
She blinked, suddenly coming to herself, and smiled warmly at the young man practically running towards her. "Long time no see, Souta," she said, bracing herself from falling backwards as her little brother--now taller than her by a good several inches--hugged her with the enthusiasm of somebody happy to see a familiar face. "How's my suddenly-fifteen-year-old little brother?"
He pulled away long enough to grin down at her. "Happy to see you, of course!" He hugged her close again, squeezing tight one last time before releasing her. "When Mama said that you'd be visiting for my birthday, I half didn't believe her. But, here you are, just like she said!"
Kagome laughed, tapping her brother on the shoulder with the closed umbrella in her hand. "As if I'd miss seeing you turn fifteen. When haven't I returned to celebrate your birthday, or Mama's, or even Grandpa's?"
"Haha, you got me there, Kagome," he laughed in return, reaching to take her bag.
"Na-uh, birthday boy," she said, playfully glaring. "No heavy lifting for you; and besides, I'm already twenty-two, well beyond the age where I can't do things for myself."
"Whatever you say, big sister," he grinned mockingly, laughing harder when she just batted him on the head with the umbrella. "Anyways, Mama and Grandpa are in the house, so, come on!" He turned, practically running to the house in the back of the shrine. His exuberance made Kagome laugh; she'd missed her excitable little brother, even if he got on her nerves sometimes. With nothing else to do but follow, she hitched her bag over one shoulder and trotted after him, not wanting to walk, or run for that matter.
When she entered the kitchen door of her childhood home, she was practically pounced on by her mother and grandfather, so happy were the two to see her safe and sound. They began to berate her over not calling for so long, and not giving them her new cell number, but after a few evasive replies attention was returned to the birthday boy, who stood the family mushiness for only so long.
Seeing her family so happy after so long, Kagome for a minute was struck by the fact that they had lived on without her, lived on happily, even if they spared a worried thought for her. It wasn't that she was jealous, far from it, but the realization just reminded her of the lonely little apartment that she'd been so proud of. Women her age would have already had plenty of boyfriends, but she'd never had one. Hojo didn't count, since he'd only been obsessed with her frequent absences the year she'd turned fifteen.
Frowning, she pushed away the depressing thoughts and memories, forcing herself to be happy for her little brother's sake. It was his day, after all, and the world did not revolve around herself and her loneliness. "Come on, when is the birthday boy gonna get his presents and cake?" She asked, throwing herself into the familial fray.
The rest of the day passed in much the same manner, with a few of Souta's friends showing up to help celebrate. Kagome helped her mother bake the cake in the kitchen, and help make dinner for the family and guests. She even helped her grandfather bring in several boxes that turned out to be priest outfits for Souta, who had decided to take after their grandfather and become the shrine's head priest. Throughout it all, Kagome was reminded that she didn't truly belong. Her family had never really approved of her writing career, even when her newest series had gained such a strong popularity. For some reason, the fantastic world she presented in "A Modern Fairytale" disturbed them, often to the point that they turned their backs on her. She'd been careful not to mention her books after that, and had eventually moved out due to the suffocating silence that seemed to surround the house.
Later that evening, after Souta had left to go out with his friends, Kagome helped clean up the house, surprising her mother and grandfather with her willingness to help around the house.
Finally, after the fifth time her daughter asked what else she could do to help, Mrs. Higurashi turned to her and asked,"Kagome, dear, is something wrong?"
Frozen for a minute, Kagome thought about telling her mother the truth, that she wasn't able to begin writing the fourth book of her novel series, but if she did so, she'd probably get scolded for continuing to write such a story. She felt bad about not being able to go to her family for help, but with the way they treated her writing, she also felt that she was justified in ignoring their offer of help.
"Everything's fine, Mama," Kagome smiled, quickly turning away so that her mother's keen eyes could not pick up on her distress.
Frowning, Mrs. Higurashi sighed, foregoing pressing further into her adult daughter's affairs. Ever since that first book had been published, a rift had been torn between Kagome and her family. Mrs. Higurashi regretted alienating her daughter in such a way, but in order to preserve the family honor, she had to continue disapproving of Kagome's books. She couldn't let what happened when Kagome was fifteen happen again. "Alright, Kagome," she said quietly, her mother's heart crying out in pain.
Kagome nodded, unable to speak, and hurried to the kitchen door. "I'm going to go buy some snacks at the convenience store," she called behind her, shoving some crumpled bills in her pants pocket before she closed the door behind her. Breathing deeply for a moment of the clear night air, she set out on the familiar path across the shrine grounds, down the steps, and around the corner to the sidewalk that led to the nearby convenience store.
Even after years of absence, the store was still pretty much the same as she remembered, and carried the same products she remembered from her early teenage years. She bypassed the extensive ramen selection, her stomach knotting momentarily, heading directly back to the refridgerated area. She grabbed a carton of orange juice, letting her head hang in the coolness of the fridge for just a moment, only moving when a cough sounded behind her, making her move. With her orange juice carton, she headed to the cash register, grabbing a small box of milk-flavored pocky along the way.
"Well, if it isn't Kagome Higurashi!" The clerk smiled at her as she handed him her items. "I haven't seen you around in ages; how's life been treating ya?"
"Oh, so-so, thanks," she answered, not even bothering to try to remember who this man was.
"Hmm, its been quite a few years--seven, if I'm not mistaken," the clerk continued to chat, ringing up her purchases. "Man, I remember back when you used to buy several tons of ramen every few weeks. I seriously had never seen a fifteen-year-old girl buy so many ramen packages."
Blinking, she paid him on autopilot, her mind trying to figure out when exactly she'd bought tons of ramen. Kagome couldn't stand the stuff, and became ill just by standing near it. Why would she have bought tons of the stuff if she didn't like it? "It was nice seeing you again," she told him, taking the bag from him.
"See ya," he waved, already turning to the next person in line.
Leaving the store, she paused outside at the entrance, opening up the carton of orange juice to drink on the way home. As she trudged her way back, she considered all the questions roaming her mind. Nothing about those two occurrences were related, but they still left her feeling confused and a little lost. Maybe...maybe she should ask her mother about what happened to her father...and why she couldn't exactly remember the year after she turned fifteen.