Author's Note: My purpose for writing this, is to show Renji's side his struggle. I've always had a great liking for him, so that is what inspired me. Renji Abarai for the win.
~I~I~I~I~I~
"We have doomed the wolf not for what it is, but for what we have deliberately and mistakenly perceived it to be; the mythologized epitome of a savage, ruthless killer, which is, in reality no more than a reflexed images of ourselves." ~Farley Mowat
Stars and the Stray: Slitting This Throat
I'm the latter of the two. Sorry to disappoint.
I've got a little place in the back of my mind. It's kind of dark, and kind of gloomy. It's like an old, abandoned warehouse that I can never seem to tear down. I try not to look back there often; that's where my memories lie. But, of course, I can never forget, no matter how hard I try. If I were to uncover all the veiled pictures of my past, and look under all the dust and debris, I'm sure I'd find a painting there. I'm sure of who it would be. It's a girl. She has smooth black hair, and it curves to her neck. She has large violet eyes, and they shine with the undeniable sparkle of grace. There is an ocean of water swaying in the background, as if rushing from the floodgates. It is indisputably beautiful, and the shimmer of the soothing waves that rush up to meet the shore draws me back to the precious days of the past. If you look at that picture, you'll see her smiling. It's warm and calm, like a soft summer day. There is gentleness there, and there's not a flaw on her face.
I'm trying to get back to her.
I think I should tell you a story. It's a story not too many people hear, or, should I say, care to hear. Now, this is the type of story that is usually glanced over by onlookers and dismissed without a second thought. But there's no need to ask why that is. I'll tell you instead. I suppose its reason is similar to the logic behind ones disgust towards a tramp only capable of chasing the coattails of his master. Too...undesirable. But to what extent does such ignorance cut? Without a doubt, it pierces deep within my chest like the cruel blade of shame. You see, there is a hurt here. There is grief, and there is regret. There is a struggle that I've yet to overcome, and there's only one focus in mind: to close the gap. So with each footfall of mine, I think I'm getting closer.
I assure you, I will close in on that unbearable distance and the struggle it holds. No matter how much blood is spilt. No matter how badly the wounds burn me.