In His Eyes

Summary: She was okay with being second best, but something about his eyes, she wanted to be first.

Couple: Sam Swarek and Andy McNally

Rating: T

Authors Note: Something that came out of nowhere! Also I am on a different computer and it won't save my signature quote! :( I promise next time there will be one. I hope you all enjoy and reviews are always appreciated.

In His Eyes by ClassicBeauty23

The last time she was in front of his doorstep, she had wanted to sleep with him. She knew it was wrong, but at that time in her life she felt like he was the only one to make the pain go away.

It had been selfish. She'd soon realized that when Luke had called her. When seeing his name on caller I.D she immediately felt guilt. She wasn't sure if it was from being with another man, or wanting to stay with that other man as long as she could. Both were wrong, but something inside her knew the latter was the most disturbing.

There were certain things about Sam that couldn't be replaced with Luke. When looking at both of them, most people her age would go for the young tall blonde. He oozed sex appeal in every way known to human kind. She had been attracted to that as well, but something about the much older, dark and handsome guy oozed mystery to her.

Many a times she had been placed between the two, one on her left and one on her right. Her eyes would advert between the two and only one pair of eyes would look at her. He knew when she needed him to have her back. She also knew that when the other one didn't look, a part of her turned her back on him.

She would go back and forth with scenarios in her head. In one, she would end up with the dashing detective, and the other she would end up with heart. It was a simple thought that played through her mind in the day. She didn't always think about it, it just was always casually there.

When he would bring her coffee in the morning, he would always know exactly what she wanted. She wasn't even sure if Luke knew what kind of coffee she drank. Just the simple things, is what she wanted out of life.

When her mother had chosen to leave her father, she had promised herself she would never be or end up with someone like her mother. She didn't want to end up second to anyone again. In her father eyes she was first. It was always her then work. Even though he was a cop, if she would call because she was sick at school the first thing he would do was to pick her up while on duty. She liked it that way, and still did.

When her father had finally chosen something over her she had been betrayed. He'd chosen alcohol to replace her when she went to the Academy. It hurt her. It hurt to know that while she was away he had picked up on a deadly habit. It haunted her job and being daily.

The day she had shot the man, she had chosen her gut over her heart. It was a painful decision, but in her gut, it had told her she was doing the right thing. She'd excepted it, but it still felt like a letdown.

Luke had chosen the case over her that night. Just knowing that he had chosen something else over her made her realize that, the other pair of eyes that looked at her was the ones she needed the most. She needed the dark intrusive eyes that were only meant to be seen by her. So she walked the long way to his house and ended up at his door.

This time though was very different for both of them. She wasn't even sure if he wanted to see her like she wanted to see him. She'd broken things off with Luke several weeks ago; she had still never gotten over her fear of telling him how she felt.

The moments between them were powerful, so much ignited when they were together. Luke had seen it long before she had and that's why him not being sad about their break up didn't affect her as much as she thought it should.

It had begun to rain, but still she stood frozen before his door. She couldn't just release all her feelings to him. She was going to pour her heart out to him out of nowhere. It sounded silly, but she was never one for good timing and she knew this wasn't the best timing.

She knew it had hurt him when she had decided to move in with Luke. She not only noticed it in the way he didn't look at her anymore, she noticed it mostly in their partnership. He wouldn't bring the coffee, he wouldn't call her to make sure her walk home was nice, he wouldn't even talk to her half the time. In his mind she had betrayed him, not that he would admit that, but she already knew because she could read him like a book.

They'd had a conversation once about how she wore her heart on her sleeve. She willingly admitted she did, but he wouldn't budge. All along she had known that he wore his heart on his sleeve to. It's what in her eyes made him one of the best cops.

The day he told her he was seeing someone was the day she wanted to crawl in hole and go to another place. He probably saw the visible signs of her being upset with him, but he also probably noticed that slight wall had now been placed between them. She was hurt. Her heart and hew whole being had been pushed aside from him and there she was second best to the one man she thought would never put her in that category.

She then decided that instead of letting it go on any longer she was finally going to do something about it. She couldn't stand the thought of being in that category with him. She accepted Luke's spill about work being important. She had finally come to understand that her mother was not coming back. She was still trying to work on alcohol come before; it never would, but she was not going to be second best in his eyes. They were to important for her.

She finally decided to walk up the familiar steps. She didn't see any lights on, which she didn't find to be a good sign. She thought about turning away, but she was determined to change her fate. Even if he denied her, she was still going to be stratified because she tried.

With all her might she knocked on the door. The wet clothes on her were becoming painful to bear, but she knew it could all be worth it if he said and did the right things she needed him to do.

She heard saw the doorknob turn. She finally let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding.

When she finally saw him in front of her she looked immediately into his eyes. It was the first place she always looked. A she searched for signs of what he was thinking her mind drew a blank. His eyes had no warmth; they just stared back at her.

"Are you alone?"

It was the first thing that came to her mind. She needed him to know the reasons for her being here were completely different than the time before.

He looked back at her, she finally saw something. She saw weariness.

"Yea."

She nodded.

"Do you want to talk?"

She drifted her eyes to look into his, what she this time was willingness.

"Yes."

This time she knew she was going to enter his door and stay the whole night.