I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me
Alfred stood at the scene, wishing the natural smile could grace his face once more, to reassure everyone else, but it just wasn't the time. Every personified nation stood by him, some putting their hands on his shoulders, reassuring words that fell on deaf ears, knowing he would be more affected than the rest of them.
He may have been younger than the rest of them, but he damn well knew what had happened.
I'm more than a bird
I'm more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It's not easy to be me
He stood tall at the next meeting, smiling, chatting, and hiding the depression that was creeping. He refused to look at the unoccupied seat. Most just assumed he was fine, as always. No one was as close to him anymore though, he distanced himself from most. He never wanted to feel this hurt again, would it ever stop?
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see
He stood at the grave; the red roses fell from his hands. The cemetery was deserted, the dull sky reflecting Alfred's mood. They'd always loved red roses. Alfred struggled to keep the tears at bay, his cerulean eyes becoming slightly pink from irritation. He sniffled and wiped his eyes furiously.
"I'll be strong, for you."
It may sound absurd, but don't be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed, but won't you concede
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me
Two months later.
Alfred looked down the whole meeting, Ludwig's words going in one ear and out the other. His chin was resting on his chest. He had given up stopping the tears; he'd given up trying to live. Matthew stayed with him, making sure Alfred was fed and presentable.
He was having nightmares, like in his childhood, but this time there was no one to hold him, to sleep with him. Matthew tried to fill this void, but he couldn't. He never gave up on Alfred, but it was getting too much.
Up, up and away: away from me
It's all right: You can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy: or anything:
Alfred was calm at the mental hospital. He made small talk with the other patients, ate with encouragement from the doctors and even walked around. He often just sat in his room and stared at the ceiling. He refused treatment, of course, he was too proud for it. And no one bothered to try and over power him. He got visits from the other nations, Matthew being the most common. But while the others still loved Alfred, he knew that they thought he was crazy. He was fine with that.
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
He still loved him of course, which was why he was returning to Alfred's dreams. He visited him, telling him about life in heaven, how beautiful everything was, but that he still missed Alfred dearly.
Alfred just sat and listened, taking in the older man's appearance, how he glowed now that he was unearthly.
I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
A new nurse gave Alfred the pills, but she forgot to count how many. Alfred saw, he knew, but he took them all anyway.
It's not easy to be me.
"I've missed being your hero, Arthur."