Orientation
By the Idiosyncratic Wordsmith
"Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught." - Nikola Tesla. Maybe.
"Convoluted. That's the word of the day." Karkat declared as they stood in front of the building, staring at the building map in his hand.
"According to what source?" Kanaya inquired as she stood next to him, looking upwards at the top of the tall building.
"Me." He responded, his eyes still gazing over the lines of the map.
"And why is the Vantas word of the day 'convoluted'?" She asked, still looking upwards.
"Because our new school building is fucking convoluted. Look at that, already used it in a sentence, that's how fucking convoluted this shit hole is." He remarked, finally looking up and at the doors straight ahead of the two of them. Already the other students were filing into the white marble building with the spirograph seal over the glass doors, a golden plaque beneath reading "Skaia Academy for the Indeterminably Selected" - referring to the arbitrary yet measured means by which students seemed to be randomly selected and yet selected with specific purpose.
Karkat Vantas had been attending Skaia Academy with his troll friends for years since they had all been selected, but had only ever gone to their Alternia Region campus, which was significantly less impressive than this. Now, Skaianet had erected a new campus here in the middle of no where, and for some reason shut down all other campuses, requiring all enrolled students to move to the town which seemed to have not existed until recently (yet according to all records has always existed). The situation and the circumstances leading up to it were convoluted in and of themselves, but the map Karkat was looking at nearly rivalled it.
The building was circular, a cylinder, in essence, but the halls inside were arranged in a vaguely spirograph pattern. Every "wing" had a particular theme - home economics, shop, literature, science, and so on - with classrooms of various sizes scattered throughout. Every student had certain core classes they all took, but the majority of their scheduling was electives. The thing was, half their electives were chosen for them. Skaia Academy had a tendency to seemingly arbitrarily select what was and was not up to the students. Why this was or what their model or system was, nobody knew. Most people didn't care. All Karkat knew was that the first day was an orientation tour led by the school's vice principal. Nobody knew who he was, either - apparently he was new, but Skaianet has had him on payroll forever.
"I'm telling you, Kanaya, something's up here with all this weird bullshit. Mark my fucking words." Karkat stated, looking over at his friend, who was wearing her usual shirt and skirt, a stylish light green canvas messenger bag slung over her shoulder carrying her materials - not for classes, but for every-day carry. They had no classes today, since today was just orientation. She looked at him, a skeptical but considerate expression on her face, taking in his appearance in his long-sleeve black shirt and dark jeans.
"Your words are duly marked, Karkat. Now are we going to stand around further contemplating the convoluted nature of our situation further after our already extensive coverage of it previously, or shall we actually go in and begin the day?" She retorted. They had already talked about Karkat's paranoia over the recent course of events the night before - frankly, while she understood and somewhat shared his concerns, at the same time, they had nothing to be worried about until they actually attended the new school. Besides, Rose Lalonde was already in there - which meant Kanaya had a great desire to be in there, as well.
"Fine, whatever, let's just walk right into the gaping trapmaw of the Skaia Academy beast. Not like there's anything else to do." Karkat conceded. They all lived a stone's throw away from the school now. The only way to get away now was to run away from home, and though most of them could drive, none of them were legally able to leave their guardians or lusii. Cautious and resigned, Karkat walked forward towards the doors, the majority of the other students already inside. Kanaya walked with him, catching up and walking along side him quickly. They entered the building together, and walked through the glass double doors into the main lobby of the building.
Inside, the floor was glossy marble, tiled black and white, with a few hundred - maybe two, three hundred - students standing inside. They all had various styles and airs to them, but all stood together in clumps and groups in the large, rectangular lobby. To the left was the access ways to the offices and maintenance areas, to the right were doors leading to the spirographic hallways, and directly across from the doors was the grand staircase which lead to the building's second floor. Upon the platform of the staircase was a… man? It looked like a man, anyway. He was wearing a sharp white suit and pants, with a green shirt and bow tie, and his head was an enormous cueball. For some reason, nobody really seemed surprised by this, and just basically accepted the fact that there was some kind of cosplaying weirdo standing there. However, once Karkat and Kanaya found their way in, a smooth, distinctly English voice echoed out from said weirdo's direction.
"It seems our last two students arrived, and exactly on time, as well. Approximately 32.4 seconds late. More precisely, 32.3845 seconds. But I am not an overly perfidious man. Your tardiness was not only expected but also accounted for and pardoned quite ahead of time." The cueball said.
"Uh… is he talking about -" Karkat started, whispering to Kanaya.
"Yes, Karkat, I am referring to you and Kanaya." The cueball stated for all the school to hear.
"Oh… OK." Karkat responded. He didn't know how he was heard but he didn't really want to push the envelope of Mr. Cueball's apparent godly hearing.
"My hearing is actually quite nonexistent, given the lack of auditory organs I possess, but I am, however, omniscient and know everything you will say or have ever said, as well as all actions and thoughts you have ever taken or thought or will take or will think. For your own good I suggest you merely accept this fact. That's a good student body. That's it, continue accepting it." Mr. Cueball lectured. Of course, he was aware that they weren't all accepting it, but when it came to being tactful and to the point, he was quite concise and forgiving of suckers. Besides, there were other concerns for him to deal with than his nonexistent pride.
"Now then. On behalf of our generous benefactors at Skaianet, as well as the forces of fate which fuels their worldly power, I would like to welcome you all, one and all, to the new and improved facilities and campus of the Skaia Academy for the Indeterminably Selected. You will all find this building to be far less convoluted than it appears - convoluted, of course, being the word of the day, for your awareness - and eventually come to identify it as a second home. Your classes here will be rigorous, but no less so than your gifted minds are already used to. Our faculty and staff are all top-notch and prepared to impart their restricted and limited wisdom onto your own comparatively more limited minds. I am Doctor Doc Scratch, Vice Principal and Chief Disciplinarian of the school. You will refer to me as Vice Principal Scratch, and I will in turn refrain from utilizing my omniscience to discipline you preemptively. Your high school antics are in no jeopardy, do not worry." Vice Principal Scratch spoke.
The students all listened for the most part, barring a few apathetic or distracted minds, and Karkat especially clung to every word the cueball said. He wanted to know everything he could about this place - the sooner he figured out the mysteries behind their current position, the sooner he could determine if they were in any danger. At this point, Vice Principal Scratch took a few steps forward, descending a quarter of the way down the stairs, closing the gap between him and the crowds of students a bit, before addressing them once more.
"Today, you will be accompanied by a member of the staff as we escort you in groups of twelve around the school building for your orientation. I have planned the tour for each group, as well as the members of each group, according to the inevitable events prescribed by fate to occur today. Your escorts will now locate you of their own volition - or the illusion thereof generated by the invisible hand of fate - and gather you into your groups. Your escort and group are non-negotiable and mandatory. I hope you all will enjoy your golden years here at Skaia Academy. And by hope, I, of course, mean 'expect'." Vice Principal Scratch explained. At that point, he flashed away with a rupture of green light, and was gone.
Sure enough, various adults began entering through the doors at the back of the platform Scratch was just standing on, and entered the crowds of teenagers. Karkat stuck with Kanaya, wanting to converse with her about the talking cueball's speech. However, before he could speak, he found himself being accosted by an unexpected series of taps upon the shoulder. Turning around to see who had come to bother him now, hoping internally that it would be a very particular person, Karkat found himself looking upon a visage with filled him with disgust, frustration, irritation, and a deep sense of friendship. The shades upon that visage merely flashed a bit.
"Yo." Was the only word to come from the boy's mouth.
"What the fuck do you want, Dave?" Karkat demanded. He and Dave, along with all of Dave's friends, were fairly good friends. They had met online, through Skaia Academy's penpal program. Kanaya had been assigned Rose as a penpal, Vriska had John, Terezi got Dave, but they all shared contact information and communicated freely among their circles of friends. Karkat, however, had been assigned to another human, whom he had on his mind quite a bit for quite a while, though he'd never admit to it. It was her that he wished was tapping on his shoulder instead of Dave - but no, she was nowhere in sight. He'd have to deal with Strider's bullshit instead for now.
"What, can a distinguished student of the ironic arts not seek out some hellacious troll-bros to chill with in this mighty temple of sick cueball VPs without any reason more than 'why the fuck not'?" Dave explained. Sifting through the various superfluous metaphors and adjectives, Karkat eventually figured out what the hell he was saying. The boy really needed to learn to keep to the fucking point.
"So what, you needed someone to idle around with and I was your first choice? Yeah fucking right. Do you think I'm an idiot? All your other human friends got transferred here, too, shithole. So what's the real reason you're bothering me?" Karkat pried. There was no way Dave Strider was feeling extra social. He was barely social as it was, despite his cool kid aesthetic and natural charisma.
"Hey man, I am just a simple purveyor of social interaction, no need to be all critical of my choice of customer. My goods are fine and plentiful and high in demand and I cater only to the coolest of cats and the chillest of chicks." Dave responded, his expression neutral as always behind those shades of his. His pale, albinoid skin was clear of any blemishes or freckles, and his face was a mix of square and angular, leaning a bit more towards angular. His hair was extremely light blonde and wispy. His frame was frail, and his clothes, though not baggy, didn't cling to him, his longsleeved red-and-white baseball shirt draping over his abdomen, the sleeves coming just a bit over his wrists, the jeans falling around his ankles like a curtain. Karkat felt no romantic attraction to him in any quadrant, but he felt like some people would view his thin physique as attractive.
"Right. Seriously. What do you want." Karkat inquired again. Kanaya, he noticed, had gone off in some unknown direction. Probably to look for Rose, he thought. Dave shrugged, and a tiny smile appeared on his face.
"Alright, you got me. I was looking for you for Harley. She wanted to meet you in person finally and recruited yours truly to help hunt you down." He admitted.
Karkat froze a bit and felt the blood flush to his face a bit. It wasn't noticeable, he was sure (he hoped), but his heart had fluttered and suddenly there was a bit of adrenaline in his system. Harley was looking for him? Jade Harley? His penpal? The girl he had stayed up entire nights talking to? The Jade Harley that had become his best friend over the past two years? The Jade Harley that made him melt with a smile?
He heard a familiar voice call out, a girl's voice, a voice which he would recognize even if one of auditorial organs was blown off. A voice he had heard for years, day and night, good times and bad, a voice he was wildly not prepared to hear despite his attempts to brace himself for it. It was the sweetest, bitterest music in his head, and there was nothing that could compare to the melodic timbre of the syllables and vowels resonating out from it. Anything that voice said, he would listen to. Anything it spoke would melt his heart like ice. Anything she said would be poetry to him.
"HEY FUCKASS!" It shouted.
Such a way with words… He thought as he turned around to see the voice. It was, indeed, Jade Harley, her emerald eyes drilling into him like lasers, her mousy, shaggy, thick black hair cascading down her back. She was wearing her white long-sleeved shirt and skirt, and she looked mad. Her glasses glared from the lights above, but the intensity of her eyes wasn't hidden at all from him. She stormed towards him and Dave, gently pushing a few other students out of her way.
"J-Jade, h-hi!" Karkat stuttered out. He was mentally berating himself, as he was wont to do. What had he done to earn her wrath? Surely the fault was on him for the way she shoved Tavros out of her way angrily.
"Don't you dare 'hi' me, mister!" She yelled.
"Uh… hello?" He tried.
"How long have we been friends, Karkat?" She inquired, arms crossed, brows furrowed.
"Two years…" He answered. What was happening? Was this the end of those two years?
"And in all those two years, did we ever meet in person?" She continued.
"N-no." He replied. Where was she going with this?
"And yet once we finally start going to a new school together, you spend your time walking in late with Kanaya and then chatting up Dave instead of me? What kind of asshole does that?" She demanded. Karkat was stunned into silence. He looked over at Dave, but only saw him walking off to see Terezi, who was waving him over to join her orientation group. He was all alone now, with a very angry Jade Harley barking him up a tree.
"...My kind of asshole?" He offered with a shrug. Was that the right answer? She stood, staring at him silently for a few seconds, before snickering a bit, then bursting into laughter, throwing her crossed arms around his chest, hugging him tightly. He oof'd in surprise, caught off guard. It took him a second to finally hug her back while she laughed.
"Ahahahaha! Karkat, I swear, you're the funniest troll ever! Hahahah!" She laughed. "I am so glad we finally get to go to school together! We're gonna have such a great time, I just know it!" She said, pulling back from her hug. Karkat was still shaken a bit from the encounter, but before another word could be said, he found himself - and Jade - being approached by a strapping tall man in a white shirt and tie, complete with a nice hat. He had a group following him - probably around ten or so students in it.
"Good day, young students. I have been made aware that the two of you are the final members of the group which I am to escort around the school today. I am Mr. Egbert, and I will be teaching you all in the fine and respectable craft of home economics and baking. I am certain you will all do excellently in my courses and in this school in general. You are all indeterminably selected and therefore all have reason, in some way or another, to be so very proud of yourselves." Mr. Egbert explained. Karkat was put off a little bit by the man's manner of speech and general air, with his clean-shaven face and blue eyes and vague scent of cologne. Jade, however, seemed unphased by it all - undoubtedly she knew this man, him being John's father and all.
"Okie dokie, Mr. Egbert! We're both really excited to start! Right, Karkat?" She turned to her friend, who looked at her back, not expecting to be mentioned.
"Uh, yeah, sure, whatever." He mumbled out.
"Most excellent. Please, fall into some vague semblance of order behind me, and we'll begin our tour of the school building." Mr. Egbert requested. With that, he turned around, and the dozen students assigned to him followed. They all were strangers to Karkat. It seemed like the only person he'd be talking to was Jade. They all seemed to be strangers to each other except for those two, in fact. One could say that this group seemed to have been indeterminably selected. They exited through one of the doors on the right, and began their tour - though Karkat didn't pay much attention. He already had a map in his pocket, he didn't need a tour. Instead, he spent the time chatting up Jade.
"So, uh… what's your schedule look like?" He asked. The school day was divided into 6 blocks - 1, 2, and 6 were 80 minutes long, typically hosting semester-long courses, and 3, 4, and 5 were 40 minutes long, usually with year-long courses.
"Umm… Advanced Calculus, then Art, then Band, Choir, lunch, then Advanced Chemistry." She responded.
"Typical of you, Harley - taking all the hardest math and science classes." Karkat pointed out. She shrugged.
"Just because I'm good at it doesn't mean I like it. I was placed in them by the school. I only wanted to be in art, band, and choir." She explained. "What about you? Do we have any classes together?" She asked, somewhat eager and hopeful.
"Just lunch this semester. Which is better than nothing, I guess. I've got Advanced English, Phys Ed, then I'm spending the rest of the day in the library as an aid, then eating lunch, then with a free block" He remarked. It would've been nice to have English with her - or any class, really. Especially PE. He hated phys ed, and seeing her around would've made it more bearable. Especially seeing her running around in gym shorts and a tee shirt. He violently shoved that thought of his mind, though.
"Geez, talk about a light schedule, lazy boy. You sure you're getting all your credits to graduate?" She asked.
"Lazy? Lazy my ass, you flippant fuck, I've worked my ass off these past few years. I've got all the credits I need to kick back and relax for once." He insisted. It was true, too - he had packed his schedule for the past two years with classes to get all the credits he'd need. Now he needed a health credit and a gym credit - everything else was for fun.
"Oh, shut the fuck up, you goose. I still remember all those nights you thought you weren't gonna make it because of the stress." She pointed out. He scratched the back of his neck a bit nervously. Last year he had some major stress problems, and she was probably the reason he was still in school. He felt her arm go around his shoulders and pat him on the back a bit reassuringly. "I'm happy for you, Karkat. You're gonna have a lot more fun this semester than I am, I can tell you that…" She remarked. He smiled over at her as her hand returned to her side.
"I'll have to see if I can do anything about that." He said, smiling. He hoped that didn't sound too dopey. She smiled back in her friendly way, so it seemed like he was getting away with it.
"Well, you could always join choir…" She suggested. She had been trying to get him to join all summer. He had insisted that he couldn't sing, and she retorted by saying that the reason you take choir is to learn how to sing and to be with friends. The argument had worn him down to just waving it away whenever the topic came up - he had been beaten down but not quite convinced.
"Ugh, I'll think about it, OK?" He offered. It was all he wanted to do for the moment - he didn't want her to hear him singing. It… wouldn't go well. She rolled her eyes.
"Fine. But I'm gonna keep asking about it!" She warned.
"Whatever, Harley." He dismissed, rolling his eyes. "You doing anything after this?" He asked.
"Yeah, Dave and I were going to go out with Jane to get something to eat. You're welcome to come!" She invited.
"Jane? The Crocker chick?" He asked.
"Yeah, the one Dave's crushing one. I'd actually be really thankful if you came with us - otherwise I'd probably just be the third wheel." She admitted.
"Well, I guess I could spare some time, distasteful as it sounds to be around you…" He joked. She slugged him lightly.
"You're the one who asked to hang out in the first place, fuckass!" She spat back, smiling, giggling a bit. He loved the sound of her laughs. Laughs, plural, because he could tell the difference between the different laughs she used for different things, and he loved them all, without discrimination. This was her playful, friendly giggle, the one she used when she was having fun with friends.
They continued walking through the hallways, vaguely aware that Mr. Egbert was talking, but not paying any attention. The halls with curved and turned constantly, the spirographic design of the interior making it seem almost surreal. They were lined with lockers, which they were told contained transportalizers to allow easy access to their materials at any point in the school building. The floors were all the same black and white tiling as the lobby, and the lighting was primarily natural, with skylights allowing in sunshine. It would seem sterile under any other lighting - this way, it just seemed very… eased.
And then, all of sudden, they walked through another door, and were back in the lobby.
"That concludes our tour. I am sorry it is so short and that I cannot show you a greater extent of this wonderful facility, however, Vice Principal Scratch has given explicit instructions to only follow the tour given. The path given to me to guide you upon was indeterminably selected, and so it most certainly has some reason behind its shortness which is beyond our capacity to comprehend. You are all dismissed, and I hope you will enjoy your first day tomorrow. I am certain you will all make me, and yourselves, very, very proud. Good day." He explained, before turning and walking off. The students looked confusedly around at each other, before most of them simply shrugged and walked off, heading out. Jade and Karkat, however, stuck around, waiting for Jane and Dave to get back from their own tours. For the most part, they stood around patiently, silent - Karkat certainly felt awkward, wanting to say something, but Jade was quite content with the silence, at ease with just being around her friend.
It wasn't all that long before another group entered, and, lo and behold, it contained the very two people they were waiting on. And, just as Karkat suspected, Dave was chatting up the Crocker girl. It was an adorable pair, he had to admit - his lean, slender frame and her more round, full physique were complementary to each other. They were told by their guide, which looked like a cat princess… thing… that the tour was done and that they were dismissed. Dave merely shrugged apathetically, and walked over with Jane to Jade and Karkat.
"Yo. You ready to go, Harley?" Dave asked.
"Yeah. Is it OK if Karkat comes with?" She requested. Dave looked over at Karkat, a glint visible beneath his shades.
"Yeah, all good. But he's driving you." He insisted. Jade and Jane didn't have cars, so Dave typically drove them around.
"Fine by me. I was gonna drive her, anyway." Karkat mentioned. He hoped the whole 'confident gentletroll' thing would appeal to her.
"Alright, cool! We actually have a place we were planning on going, I can give you directions there." She said, turning to walk out. Karkat, Dave, and Jane all followed her out, walking out of the school building towards the parking lot. Dave and Jane and Jade were talking to each other, catching up about their tours, while Karkat couldn't help but pause for a second and look back at the school building. He wasn't sure, but it certainly felt like it was going to be one hell of an adventure here. He didn't take too much time, though, and caught back up with his friends and joined their conversation - but somewhere deep down, one thought reverberated in his mind like an echo through a cavern.
I have a feeling this is going to be a long year.