A random little one-shot my sister and I thought up. Sorry if people seem OOC…written up in a few hours…
After the Fischer job was fully complete and it was official that his was the leading energy company in the world, Saito decided to throw a celebratory dinner party at his mansion in Kyoto.
Cobb brought his children, Ariadne was planning on bringing Arthur, but he was going with Eames, so she decided to bring a mystery date, and unfortunately Yusuf couldn't make it.
Ariadne arrived first, with none other than Robert Fischer as her date.
"Saito-san! So great to see you again!" she said smiling brightly.
Saito smiled at them, letting them in. "Can I have a word?" he asked her.
"Sure! Excuse me Robert, I'll only be a moment," she answered. Robert smiled politely as Saito took Ariadne aside.
"Ariadne-chan I can't believe your date is my former business rival and our former mark!" Saito asked, not sounding too happy about that.
"I said I'd have a mystery date! Sorry if he was all I could find, but we really got to talking at a coffee shop after the funeral." And with that, she walked off back to her date.
Cobb was next, with James and Phillipa all dressed up as well. "Uncle Saito!" they squealed, hugging his legs.
"Hello Saito-san," Cobb said, bowing.
"Good evening, Mr. Cobb. Please come in," Saito said.
Then Arthur and Eames arrived, arm in arm. Eames was clinging onto his boyfriend's arm like there was no tomorrow while Arthur was blushing furiously as everyone stared.
"Eames let go, everyone's staring!" he hissed.
"Not a chance, love," he whispered back. "Saito, darling!"
The tourist gave them a strange look, but welcomed them in all the same.
When everyone sat down for dinner, Robert Fischer ended up right next to Saito. Great, he thought, rolling his eyes.
Ariadne smiled meekly, shrugging.
James and Phillipa were next to Eames and their dad, and Arthur was next to Ariadne. Well this is weird, thought both of them*.
Saito stood up. "Thank you everyone ("and Fischer," he added softly.) for coming to this celebratory dinner! Please enjoy the food!"
Waiters brought out all kinds of food: sushi, tempura, miso soup, and plenty of other things no one could name (but still looked yummy).
Eames piled Arthur's plate with a lot of everything. "Stop! I can get things for myself!" he protested.
"You need some meat on those bones! You're going to eat all of this, darling!" Eames said, smiling. His plate only had a few pieces of sushi, and a small bowl full of miso soup.
"Eating light, Mr. Eames?" Cobb asked.
Eames nodded and dug in.
Ariadne looked over at Arthur's plate and her eyes widened. "Has Eames been starving you?"
"No, he just piled all of this onto my plate and said I 'need to get some meat on my bones'!" Arthur answered, still staring at his plate in disbelief.
"Good luck with that!" She patted his shoulder kindly and turned to Fischer and Saito. The two were chatting away in Japanese, to her dismay. Who knew? she thought. At least they didn't sound like they were arguing.
James and Phillipa were sipping their soup in silence.
"Mmm, soup**!" James exclaimed.
Just then, the doorbell rang.
"Oh, that's probably Fran***, my new nanny," Cobb said, getting up.
"Hey kids! Time to go home!" called a nasal voice from the door. James and Phillipa jumped out of their chairs and ran right to the door.
"Bye Uncle Saito!" they called.
"Wow, this dessert is amazing!" Eames said, finishing his fourth bowl of green tea ice cream.
Arthur was still working on his food pile. He glared at Eames out of the corner of his eye.
"I hope everyone enjoyed the cob salad1," Saito said. He was having another glass of sake.
"That was delicious, Saito," Ariadne commented. She was having yet another glass of sake.
"I am still working on my food, thanks to someone over here," Arthur said.
"You've hardly touched your food, love. Here have some more." And he plopped another plate's worth of sushi on top of everything.
"When you finish that, then you can have dessert."
Cobb laughed slightly at them; Arthur, of course, noticed.
"You think this is funny?" he asked, sounding really ticked off.
"I, uh—" Cobb started.
"Artie, I'm only playing. Here, have some green tea ice cream instead," Eames said, patting his arm.
Saito rolled his eyes.
Seven glasses of sake later…
"When I was younger, I saw my daddy cry, and curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it. My momma swore that she would never let herself forget. And that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love, if it does not exist, darling, you are the only exception," sang Cobb and Fischer, on the balcony.
Ariadne was swimming with Saito in his pool, both were still wearing their fancy party clothes.
Eames had Arthur pressed against a wall as the two made out. "We're the only sober ones," Arthur said, in between kisses.
Eames shrugged. "Who the hell cares?"
"This is the best dinner party ever, Mr. Eames," Arthur said.
"Shut up and kiss me," Eames said, pressing him harder into the wall.
Three more shots of sake for Ari later…
"Yo ho yo ho! A pirate's life for me!" she yelled out, still in the pool.
"'Cause you're hot and you're cold, you're yes and you're no!" Fischer and Cobb sang.
Saito was now passed out on the side of the pool, sleeping soundly.
Eames and Arthur were still making out, but now they were in the guest room.
"Let's go home," Arthur suggested.
"Why? There's a perfectly good bed right here," Eames answered, kissing Arthur's jawline.
"I don't exactly want to do that with our drunken friends right outside," Arthur pointed out. Eames paused.
"Good point, darling. Let's go, we can leave a message on their answering machine later, explaining what the hell happened," he said.
The two exited the guest room to find the dining and front room a complete disaster.
"Bloody hell, what happened?" Eames exclaimed.
"Probably Ariadne. She is so drunk2," Arthur said, rolling his eyes.
The next morning…
"Oww, my head," groaned everyone as they woke up.
Cobb woke up next to Fischer (the second strangest experience in his life), Saito woke up with his head dangling inches away from the surface of his pool, and Ariadne woke up actually halfway submerged in the pool.
"Where's Eames and Arthur?" Ariadne asked. She was making some coffee for everyone in the kitchen.
"They must've gone home. Hey there's a message on the machine, Saito," Fischer said, yawning.
"Play it, please," Saito said quietly. He rubbed his temples, feeling a skull splitting headache coming on.
"Saito and company, this is Eames and Arthur. We went home early, so we figured we'd leave this message to let you all know what went on last night," Arthur said.
"Ariadne was really drunk and singing the Pirates of the Caribbean song while swimming in the pool with Saito. Cobb and Fischer, you two were singing 'The Only Exception' by Paramore, then 'Hot n' Cold' by Katy Perry. Very strange, I must admit," Eames said, chuckling slightly.
"Then I'm assuming you all passed out from either shear exhaustion or drunken-ness. Either way, you'll have a mean headache in the morning," Arthur finished up.
Everyone was silent for a while.
Ariadne spoke up first. "Wait, why did they go home early?"
* SNL's 'Weekend Update' reference
**'Friends' reference when Joey was auditioning with Ben.
***'The Nanny' reference, Fran Drescher's character 'Fran' was the nanny
1 Bad pun my sister and I have been using a lot.
2 'Shaun of the Dead' reference
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