This is a very impulsively written story. You have been warned.
THE 1072nd fanfic
Kyon stared deeply into Haruhi's eyes as he mummered something.
"Ponytails turn me on."
Haruhi's face was filled with confusion, "Eh?"
"I can't remember when but… You wore your hair in a ponytail one day… It looked so good it was criminal." He then placed his hands on the girl's shoulders. As the gigantic transparent Celestials drew closer he took a look deep into her eyes. And then he kissed her…
THE NEXT DAY…
Kyon had entered the classroom and saw something that certinaly pleased him… Haruhi was wearing her hair in a short ponytail. "Hey." He greeted the girl.
"Hey." She replied.
"You look like you didn't have a good sleep."
"I know. I had this terrible dream." She replied.
"By the way… Looks good on you." Kyon said while admiring the hair of his brigade chief.
DURING KYON'S NEXT SLEEP CYCLE…
Kyon had woke up at North High… Wearing his school uniform… Again…
"Haruhi. Why do you keep putting me in these situations?" He mummered to himself as he walked the school grounds. After walking a ways he saw the image of a woman…
"Nagato?" He said as he approached her. Sure enough, he saw the image of the brigades silent bookworm… Who was wearing her hair in a ponytail.
"Hello." She replied with a slight blush.
"Nagato, what are you doing…" He tried to continue but was interrupted by the index finger of the quiet girl on his mouth. Apparently, she had covered a lot of distance in a very short time.
"Come with me…" She said with a somewhat devious tone in her voice.
"Umm, Nagato? What's gotten into you?" Kyon replied with a frightened tone in his voice.
But then something came out of nowhere and sent Yuki flying. That something was a red sphere of energy.
"Koizumi?" He said sounding confused… especially since he just noticed the slight ponytail in the esper youth's hair.
"Hello Kyon-kuuun." Said Itsuki. "You don't want something like that for a partner no?" he pointed at Yuki. "You want something along the lines of 'the same team'…Right?"
"Hell no! Stay away from me. Your face is too close. Get !" He said as he saw something send Itsuki flying. That thing was more along the lines of normalcy though. It was the fist of the SOS Brigade's Charming Maid Mikuru Asahina.
"Hello Kyon-Kun." Mikuru stuttered out. Kyon noticed that she was also wearing a ponytail.
"Oh ummm. Hey Asahina-san." He said nervously.
"I have some classified information I need to share with you… In private." She said with a glowing blush on her face.
"Ohhh. Ummm, well." He began as he saw the image of his precious maid flying in a random direction, just like everyone else.
"Hello Kyon." Said the voice of none other than the woman who tried to kill him earlier that week. Ryoko Asakura.
Despite the fact that she was also wearing a ponytail, Kyon still had to resist the urge to scream in horror. "But I though you were…"
"Oh don't worry Kyon." Interupted Ryoko. "I couldn't have managed to get the reaction I wanted last time so… I'm gonna have sex with you and see how Suzumiya Haruhi reacts!" She started undoing her uniform. Then she was knocked out from behind… By a school desk. The one wielding the school desk was a woman with long brown hair… IN A PONYTAIL.
"Y-you are?" Kyon said wanting this pony tailed filled horror to end.
"Oh I'm just you… From an alternate dimension… Everybody calls me Kyonko. I hope we can get along good… Me." She said as she dragged the larger man by the tie. Her lips moving close to his…
"GHAAAAA!!!!" Kyon screamed in terror as he awoken.
AT SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY…
Kyon walked into his classroom and saw a very pleasing sight.
"You look good today." He said to his brigade chief who was sitting behind him.
"A-are you trying to flatter me to get a better position in the brigade?" She stuttered out.
"No, no. I'm just glad to see you without a ponytail."
"Huh?" She said, her face still red.
"Because quite honestly… I'm sick of ponytails. I never wanna see another one in my life." He said sarcastically.
Then a figure walked in the classroom. "Hello students. You're regular teacher is sick today so I shall be teaching as a substitute. My name is Ms. Sue. It's a pleasure to… Eh?" She stuttered as she saw something strange. The image of one of her students was on the ground, knocked out.
"Kyon! Get up! Are you okay? Kyon?" Haruhi said as she cradled the unconcius boy in her arms.
"I wonder if this happens often…" Ms. Sue said as she twirled her ponytail a little…