Trapped
I look at you
so small and fragile and
instantly I want to reach out, protect
hold you against my chest
mine
but in your eyes
as you look up at me
is the bird of freedom
endless light on light and
interwoven emeralds of dazzling eternity
sing to me
that you are never were never will never be
mine
and you belong to me only because I belong to you
and something much greater
spinning us round in duets of swords
and pity
You are mine
for a mere moment
in a never ending string of moments
pearls on a broken necklace
I am meaningless and
already forgotten
If I ever existed at all
as part of you
and you are older wiser stronger
then all the fools that have died for you
trodden down into the mud
even as they reach up, hands outstretched
to touch the hem of your dress
and you think I don't SEE
all I want to do is cling
to the fragments of your burnt shell
jagged edges curling back
that has already turned to smoke and
ashes the smell of faded roses
the light is too bright to ignore
more than this
I cannot comprehend
these ancient paradoxes
what is and what shall be
molded together like forged metal
hammer on stone
makes no logical sense
to the mind taught in logic
not fairy tales
and the poetic nonsense you tell me
is truth
a mind where the earth is solid
and reality
does not dissolve at the drop of a hat
or the pull of a string
my sweet flower and
the serpent underneath
I do not know what to say to you
but I cannot stand
will not allow
tremble when
you to look at me like that
a hand fast across your cheek and
the universe of light fades away in your eyes
why cry out?
it is, after all, your own victory
and pain
pain like that even a fool can understand
so how am I supposed to control
how can I understand what I don't know
hold me
if you can't accept me
my head against your chest
like the mother who has abandoned her children
as she stands in the doorway
her children naked and helpless and begging for her redemption
because it was all their fault from the beginning
and she does not have to apologize
after all
whisper softly
just like that
and gently smooth the nightmares
out of my hair
tell me that it's not my fault
that I never chose to be
yours
Author's Notes:
Well. This was long, to say the least. Saionjii's not one of my favorite characters, but he is an interesting person to write about. Please note that I am not in any way condoning his actions towards Anthy, but it isn't just random violence (he does hit Miki once, but I won't get into that). I've tried to at least touch upon the immense complications of their relationship with this poem. Tell me what you thought of it at rachel_rewind@hotmail.com.
I look at you
so small and fragile and
instantly I want to reach out, protect
hold you against my chest
mine
but in your eyes
as you look up at me
is the bird of freedom
endless light on light and
interwoven emeralds of dazzling eternity
sing to me
that you are never were never will never be
mine
and you belong to me only because I belong to you
and something much greater
spinning us round in duets of swords
and pity
You are mine
for a mere moment
in a never ending string of moments
pearls on a broken necklace
I am meaningless and
already forgotten
If I ever existed at all
as part of you
and you are older wiser stronger
then all the fools that have died for you
trodden down into the mud
even as they reach up, hands outstretched
to touch the hem of your dress
and you think I don't SEE
all I want to do is cling
to the fragments of your burnt shell
jagged edges curling back
that has already turned to smoke and
ashes the smell of faded roses
the light is too bright to ignore
more than this
I cannot comprehend
these ancient paradoxes
what is and what shall be
molded together like forged metal
hammer on stone
makes no logical sense
to the mind taught in logic
not fairy tales
and the poetic nonsense you tell me
is truth
a mind where the earth is solid
and reality
does not dissolve at the drop of a hat
or the pull of a string
my sweet flower and
the serpent underneath
I do not know what to say to you
but I cannot stand
will not allow
tremble when
you to look at me like that
a hand fast across your cheek and
the universe of light fades away in your eyes
why cry out?
it is, after all, your own victory
and pain
pain like that even a fool can understand
so how am I supposed to control
how can I understand what I don't know
hold me
if you can't accept me
my head against your chest
like the mother who has abandoned her children
as she stands in the doorway
her children naked and helpless and begging for her redemption
because it was all their fault from the beginning
and she does not have to apologize
after all
whisper softly
just like that
and gently smooth the nightmares
out of my hair
tell me that it's not my fault
that I never chose to be
yours
Author's Notes:
Well. This was long, to say the least. Saionjii's not one of my favorite characters, but he is an interesting person to write about. Please note that I am not in any way condoning his actions towards Anthy, but it isn't just random violence (he does hit Miki once, but I won't get into that). I've tried to at least touch upon the immense complications of their relationship with this poem. Tell me what you thought of it at rachel_rewind@hotmail.com.