from Kerry U. Furter's diary...

(based on the idea of The Rocky Horror (Picture) Show, The Revenge of the Old Queen, Riff Raff's intro in the Rocky Horror CD collection and my own story "I wanna CSU".

- Ignoring Shock Treatment...)

I listened to the Sisters of Mercy as I created a draft of its face.
Whenever I worked and especially when I needed inspiration I listened to music from planet Earth. Preferably the Sisters of Mercy, they came from Great Britain, a country I adore and they made this wonderful dark, melodious and rhythmic music. My mother came and turned off my ghettoblaster. Another thing from planet Earth. All of that reminded me of my half-brother Frank who died on planet Earth when I was only 4.
I had never been there but Riff Raff knew planet Earth. In fact, there he did kill my brother. I always call him brother because I love him like a real brother.

Our father's were different persons - Frank's father a flamboyant, wild and sexy midnight man and of course from Transsexual, whereas my father is Edmond Shtoyba, a moralistic politician from planet Earth. Another thing that connects me with planet Earth. Half of me is an earthling and my mother hates it. But what can you do about it?

When love, or lust strucks you you have no choice and you can't care about and you won't give a damn where your lover's coming from. I don't know. I never had that problem but my mother had and my brother had...and all the other Trannies too...they love to give themselves over to pleasure. No regretting whatsoever. Unlike me...
Perhaps that's something I got from my father. I fight my inner demons since I have been born.

So there I was. I wanted to finish the work my brother had begun a long time ago. He succeeded in creating artificial life but only with a lot of hindrances and obstacles he had to overcome. It was a bit easier for me. I had my handyman and handywomen, namely Riff Raff (whom I had forgiven a long time ago) and a couple of girls my mother did seek for me and my quest.
I heard horrible things about Rocky's brain, where it came from and how it was inserted so I decided to go the artificial way..all the way. It was hard to find a procedure that would satisfy us and bring proper results without too much loss in material but finally we came up with a pretty good idea which involved ectoplasma and a lot of magnetism.
With that we tried to convey ghosts from the otherside too but that wouldn't work and we never even could contact one. Perhaps they just did not want to talk with us.

Riff Raff was doing very well, he always seemed to have an idea of how it all had to look like and he managed to overcome all the difficulties I would have given up upon.
"The face is done, mistress" he said to me. My mum just left the laboratory and went somewhere else, I did not want her to see its face when it was only a draft so I was glad Riff Raff and I were the only ones to see it at the very beginning.
There were Vixen and Dahlia but they only looked after the tubes that moment and they did not even hear Riff Raff say that the face was done.

I looked at it and I almost froze in awe: she was so beautiful. Riff Raff always had a strong sense for beauty. His sister was so beautiful and he, in a way was very beautiful too.
But this creature, this woman, she was everything I could ever dream of multiplied by 100 and taken to absolute aesthetic extremes. I always wanted her to have a symetric face as symetry meant beauty to me and what I saw was the most symetric face I had ever seen.
Riff Raff grinned at me, I looked at him like he was a God. That day he was, without a doubt...he created life. I only gave the instructions and well, I piecked all the fruit from his work. I almost felt embarrassed. He was a genius and that day everyone could see it.

"Now, fix it and do not change a thing! It is wonderful!" I cried in joy. Riff Raff already knew that I was pleased, he could read it from off my face but as I uttered these words he jumped back to the creature and prepared everything just to please me even more and to finish the creature as soon as possible. I was so anxious and I could see it in Riff's face that he was as excited as me as he poured the melting plasma about its face. Now it was fixed. The face was done. And it was gorgeous.

"Mistress, we can go on, the face has dried" he said only a few moments after he had poured down the plasma. I had no clue how that all worked but Riff had everything under control. Now we had the face and we could go on with the body. The upper body first...we chose a throat, I wanted it to be lean and quite long for I liked long necks.

Then there came the chest and with the chest I had to choose its breasts. Riff always liked medium-big breasts but I wanted to give her a medium average size. He knew that I had the word with it and so he said: "I'd suggest this size" and he showed me an example of a bust he had done before, "but if you want them to be smaller I will make them smaller."

"Smaller would be nicer...you see, my hands aren't at all that huge and I make her for me and just a little bit for research." A diabolical grin must have appeared about my face and I knew I flushed as I was saying that.
"You remind me of your brother. Frank was just like that." Riff's words hurted a little bit, knowing that he sure did regret what he had done to him. But history should not repeat itself.

Sometimes I was so afraid of Riff Raff. I thought he could kill me too. He could kill everyone I think...
He was sometimes so very moody and he even could hurt his sister Magenta. He was jealous of her, not only once...it was DeLordy's fault. He was such a sick bastard and he could not keep his hands to himself. Magenta did not know what to do and to me it looked like she wanted some change in her life aswell so they had this affaire which Riff Raff became aware of only after a short time. She could have seen it coming...I mean, why do you cheat on someone who's been waiting for you 14 years...even if you'd done it before...he mustn't know...but Magenta was a bit blue-eyed and so...ahh, no more of that.

It was this fear that also attracted me to Riff Raff. Whenever we were alone in the laboratory and he stood somewhere I could not see him it gave me the creeps.
One night I worked eagerly on an experiment or looked at some formulas which we had to try out, I could not hear his footsteps and I knew that he was still somewhere behind me. I heard him putting on rubber gloves and then I thought he took a piece of metal from the table. I started shivering so much I could not read anymore. One tube I held in my hand fell to the ground and bursted. All the splinters and the murky mass of gelatine and DNA lay scattered about the floor. I stood there paralyzed.

Riff Raff would walk up to me and lay his arms around my shoulders whispering in my ear: "You don't have to work all the time. Have a break, tomorrow is a new night." If only he wanted he could be the most attractive and ternder of all men. Sometimes I wished I was Magenta. She was always so close and he would always hug her and give her the strength to carry on. He knew that the Furter's used and sometimes even abused their maiden's. Well well, if only I didn't carry the name Furter he might had been able to love me one day.

I knew that he was by far better than Frank was, as a scientist and probably also a better lover. Frank just took these people, exploited them sexually and killed all their passion with his unbelievable waste of playmates. It was something he seeked and never could get that Riff had all the time. It was pure love from only one person. And that was Magenta.
She hated Frank, that much I knew, but she hated him for reasons that were understandable. Even for me.

Magenta never had a nice word for me, she thought I was just like my brother. Often I wanted to tell her who the real me was but it made no sense. With all the things that happened before I could only lose. But this time, at least I could astonish her. Probably I was about to make myself yet more to a second Frank with what I did but I also wanted to be proud of myself and have someone to take care of and play with.

Building a creature myself was the only way out of my lonelyness. They knew I was different and they also knew that my mum was the Big Furter. Frank never had any problems with his position, he enjoyed being who he was. But I never liked the idea of being something special tho I was even more special than Frank but in a rather negative way. My father was this ex arch-enemy of Transsexual and I was that bastard child that was to be the new queen. One day anyway...

The breasts were fixed too and I loved them. As we went on we came to the most delicate part of the body. Riff Raff was so kind and left it all up to me what it had to look like and I draw, and modelled and I lost so much sleep because I had to think all day and night long only to make it all right. In the end I was very pleased with the results. The face, the flawless body - everything made me shiver with anticipation of what my creature would be like when I gave to it the breath of life.

Riff didn't mind doing all the work that was to be done up to that point and just as I was about to finish the creature he didn't hesitate in coming down to the laboratory and helping me. My plan was to flee with my creation from out of the castle and just go somewhere with her...for that I did not need anyone but Riff Raff to help me.

"Mistress, you called for me" he asked as he rushed down the stairs. My laboratory was located in the left corner of the cellar in the castle. I always wanted to have a laboratory like my brother had on planet Earth, far up in the sky just like the ivory tower of a scientist.

"Yes, indeed. Riff Raff, I want you to help me finish my...work...our work I...I mean of course our work..." I suddenly stuttered as he stood before me and I didn't know why. Perhaps I just was excited about what was to happen and what my creature would be but somehow it was like I could feel something else...a feeling that I had towards someone else...and that someone else was in that very room standing right before me that very foggy and dark night.

"But didn't you want to let your mother take part during the creation? I thought you promised her..."
I didn't expect these words out of Riff Raff's mouth. I believed he followed my orders and primary my orders...I did not want my mum take part in it because the creature was to be my creature. I made her and I could take full claim to her. I knew that as soon as my mother saw her she would want to take her away from me so beautiful she was. I wanted her on my own so I had to hide her from my mother.

"Riff Raff...no...I want us to be alone with what we have done when it comes to life. It is of the greatest importance to me, please do not spoil it."

Riff nodded.
He put his rubbergloves back on and I slipped into my surgery gown. The moments that we shared were so intimate, it was as if I bore a child of my own body and Riff Raff was the excited father standing by my side holding my hand when the pain did overcome me. With all the magnetism around I could feel my body throbbing ecstatically while I pulled down the last lever to make it all affect on my creature to bring life to its dead limbs. I could not await it. I was jumping from one foot to the other as I saw the colours change and then I took a look at her arms...they were so wonderfully pale and they looked so strong and yet so vulnerable. I adored her already. Then I could see her index finger move...and all the others soon followed and she stood up from her own strength. Naked and oh so wonderful. Her golden hair shone in the black moonlight like gleaming metal, I just had to gaze at her and forgot everything around me.

Something must have awoken my mother, for I could hear her heavy footsteps coming closer only a couple of minutes later. I was taking a closer look at my creation, Riff stared at the door when we recognized her coming. Well, how can you tiptoe when you are wearing 5 inch high heels?

Now my mum was knocking on the door. I panicked, Riff Raff waited for me to say anything at all and my mother screamed from behind the heavy door: "What are you doing there? Let me in, now!"
Oh, that did not mean any good. She was screaming as loud as she could and her voice sounded very mean...I did not know what to do. That door was the only exit if one did not count the cellar window which was secured by a gutter that had been locked very safely.
I could not get out, my creature could not get out with me...

"I guess you'd better told her what's going on..." Riff Raff whispered to me. I knew that myself.
"Mum" I yelled back at her, "I could not sleep so I did a couple of experiments. Nothing to worry about. You can go to bed again I won't make any noise now that I know I have been too loud."

But she did not believe me. My creature was standing there all the time not knowing what to do. I gripped her at her left wrist and held her tight. Her body was so smooth and white...oh, if there only wasn't my mum I could have done something else with her than just standing by her side holding her tight.

"Kerry, open now or I will have my people break the door open." That was my mum. Yes, how great it was...I was captured in a room with the two dearest people I ever was to know but I didn't feel like I wanted to stay at all.

"Mum, I can't..." I replied.

"Yes, you can..." I heard her one last time before the door was run over by a horde of her wildest guards.
They cleared the way for her and my mum stepped into the room. The air was getting thin for me...I still clutched my body to my creature's, Riff Raff standing right next to her. I could feel how fear overcame him, after all this time he still wasn't accustomed to The Furter's generous penalties when one of their servants had done something wrong. To be frank, I had whipped my servants once or twice aswell...but never Riff Raff. He was my first handyman and I would never treat him bad - not in my 7 years of working with him.
"Riff Raff, what are YOU doing here?" My mother's words crackled down on him like the very first whips on his bare back.
"Mum, I ordered him here. He has nothing to do with it and as you see, I have made my creature and it is done by now. I know you wanted to attend the creation but I could not take the thought of sharing my creature with you..." Wow, I didn't even know that I would be able to make it that clear. But soon my courage shrank with her next answer...
"Didn't I say that I must take part in it? She belongs to me, my lovely Kerry...take your dirty hands from her and give her to me. Come to mumma, my baby..."
And the creature really walked to her. Her legs all shaky she flew from my safe grip into the arms of my mother who was now hugging her dearest. I could have killed her! And I could have killed my creature! Obviously it was unable to think and it had no feeling towards its real mother.

"She is mine you see. I will never forgive you that you have awaken her without me! Now I am angry with you as I never have been angry with anyone before! Will you share the penalty with your companion or do you take it alone? I know that Riff Raff is merely an instrument of yours since you have gotten him out of jail..."

Words that hurted him as much as me. I got him out of jail but I did it for Magenta's sake. I wanted to be friends with Magenta. Why else should I want to free someone who killed my brother and now had to suffer for what he did to him? As he returned from prison (after so long as 14 years) I used to believe that it was the best that could happen to Magenta and him. But in the meantime Magenta started having this affair with DeLordy, of which I did not know. Yeah, if I knew I wouldn't have tried to get her brother out...but my mother never understood it, she thought I did it only for me. And it seemed so as Riff Raff turned to my side and chose to become my servant. My mother never said a word against it, no, she was glad that now I wanted to have a servant on my own and I started to socialize with tranny lifestyle. She even gave Riff back his title of "Supreme Commander of the forces of Darkness" just to make me happy by having such an honourable servant.

"I will take it alone..." I looked at my mother, than at Riff Raff. His vain twitched. He didn't say a word, his eyes were focused on mine and this sad glance made me wonder what was awaiting me. I had no idea what my mum was capable of. I was only her daughter, she never hit me...until that night.

"Hmmm, but right now I want to spend some time with my new baby here..." my mum stroked her golden hair, "would you mind doing the work for me, Riff Raff? If you don't, someone else will..and they can hit much harder than you, be assured that it is so."

Now she couldn't be serious about that! But she really was...

His vain still twitched. I was completely paralysed now and it was as if already I couldn't feel my body anymore. Like all these words had beaten me already...but there was still more to come and it was to come the physical way.

Riff Raff hesitated. I had to answer..."He will do it, Mum!" I panicked like hell. My mother saw the fear in my eyes and she gracious smiled at me. I knew that Riff Raff wouldn't hurt me as much as the guards could. I had seen them act on my mother's behalf. It often was such a carnage that I didn't know who my mother was that she could want such things to happen...Sometimes I thought it was a madhouse here and the owner was the most horrifying monster I ever was to see.

"Will you do it?" my mum asked once more and now smiled at Riff.

"I will." he uttered.

"Off we go...guards!" Two guards stayed with us and accompanied us to the dungeon where all the torture usually took place. Also in this case. I feared all the instruments and devices there and never went in if I hadn't to.

On the way to the torture chamber Riff Raff said to me: "Don't be afraid, I will try not to hurt you too much. It just has to look genuine otherwise they will do it and that would make things worse."

"Alright..."

"It all will heal again."

"Aha..."

Riff Raff knew that I couldn't speak anymore. I was too afraid now as to speak and I was shaking so much that Riff even had to hold me up the last some steps to the dungeon. The guards pushed us inside and told me where to position myself. 'Onto the wall' they said and I could see two handcuffs hanging on long chains from down the ceiling where I had to stand in between and wait for them to lay them around my wrists. And so they did. They initially wanted Riff to do it but once again he hesitated. They did not care much - if he did not do what the Old Queen ordered someone else would. It was always the same. Her lace curtain could be such a tyrant. Until that night I never was the direct target of one of her brutal outbursts. I must have done something wrong by not letting her take part at my creature's birth.