Second Send a Number and a Pairing fill. This poor lonely thing was also sent 2014-07-07.

Originally posted to AO3 on 2014-12-23.

"I want to understand what you went through."

The words make Bucky go cold as his mind is flooded with the thought of Steve enduring even a fraction of what he did. The shakes began before he could reign in his reactions, and his partner was there in a split second, standing between his legs, combing his shaggy hair from his face, and holding him tight.

"You-" he tried to say, only for it to come out in a croak. "You are not allowed," was all he was able to manage before he lost his voice. His arms, the human and the metal one, wrapped around Steve's waist, holding him close, clinging to him to make up for the fact that he couldn't crawl inside his chest where it was warm and safe.

Steve continued to comfort him like one would a child, with soft strokes of his hair and gentle murmurings. An assassin like him should be offended, but all he felt was cherished. When he felt like he could move again, he wanted nothing more than to pick his lover up and curl around him on their bed, but he couldn't do that before Stevie understood. But before he could say a word, the man in his arms spoke up.

"I'm sorry, Bucky. I didn't mean-" Steve cut himself off suddenly and then took a deep breath. "We found the chair. I read a few files before Natasha took them away." Bucky was going to have to thank Natalia later for that. "She said I should ask you. Will you tell me?"

Bucky stayed silent, trying to decide. "On one condition," he finally said. When Steve looked down in confusion, he tilted his chin up for a kiss and his lover easily complied. In short order, he had the man on his belly on their bed, spread open on Bucky's metal fingers as he whispered his secrets into Steve's ear. He worked hard to distract the man he loved from his pain as he spoke, saving his worst secret for mind-scrambling moment of completion.

Still, when Stevie's mind returned to him, the other man pulled him up until his arms and held him, whispering apologies and regrets in his ear until he fell asleep.

FIN

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