A/N: Hi Guys! This is a story that has been circulating my mind for a LONG time, and I am so glad to finally be able to get it out and down on paper! I plan on updating once a week, but I make no promises. Anyway, please review! I always review back! Thank you so much for reading!
I own nothing but the plot.
Dorcas Meadowes was one of those girls. She was perfect, a whirl of blonde hair, delicate features, icy blue eyes, the figure of a dancer, and freckles that made her look more like a Irish milk maid than a cold hearted bitch. She ruled Hogwarts from the day she set foot in it, following in the legacy of her perfect brothers and building upon the Meadowes empire. Her position of Queen of Hogwarts was rivaled only by Marlene McKinnon, who was Dorcas' sworn rival and the only girl who could really contend with Dorcas for the most beautiful girl in school.
And Dorcas was sweet enough to let me tag along. We met on the train to Hogwarts, virginal little eleven year olds, fragile in a state of mild panic and nerves. I became her loyal sidekick, the perfect image of a deputy with dark brown hair that hung limply around my shoulders, wide, too innocent brown eyes, and round cheeks that were stuck in a permanent shade of blush. She was the beauty of the operation, with brains to match. I was the laughter, the humor that kept her feeling good about herself and that kept me from growing disillusioned with our relationship. We were a match made in heaven, two girls destined to spend our lives side by side, as best friends, maids of honor, godmothers and confidants.
There were signs that our relationship was ill fated. On that fateful day September 1st, when I was sorted into the Gryffindor House and Dorcas was sent to Ravenclaw, her family's house. Dorcas managed to set my shortcomings aside, but not until after a fight in the Great Hall that resulted in her crying and me painted as the enemy.
We spent six years together. She was the beautiful, smart one with the ability to flirt and charm her way into anything, and me, the funny one with a chip on her shoulder from her background and a remarkable ablility to do everything incorrectly. I ignored my housemates, spending every waking hour with Dorcas and her merry band of Ravenclaw followers. I struggled through my classes with Gryffindors and the Slytherins, hanging on the outside and waiting for the moment when I could be reunited with my friends in blue.
Dorcas managed to outstrip me in just about every category. She had perfect grades, while mine were lackluster at best, only shining in DADA and oddly enough, History of Magic. She had the tall, slim body of my mother, the one my mother chided and hounded me about, dissatisfied with my own curvy petite form. Dorcas was well behaved, charming, beautifully mannered, and sweet. I was loud, sarcastic, stubborn, and had ill timing. She dressed like a princess, wearing soft pastels and well cut clothing that was exactly what my mother wished I wore. I preferred darker colors, and reveled in a thick sweater and coat rather than a frilly dress.
In Dorcas' mind, I was always going to be below her. The Meadowes are a centuries hold Pureblooded family known for their hand in the establishment of the Internaitonal Conferedation of Wizards and their tendency to be sorted in Ravenclaw. My mother was the youngest child of Lord and Lady Everett, and was a prominent socialite in London. My father, John Rupert MacDonald III, is the son of a mason, but made enough in the stock market to woo an Everett. Despite my presitigous familial roots, I am a Muggleborn.
But when push came to shove, one thing kept me sane. I told myself that I was different from Dorcas, that I was more alive. I made mistakes, I screwed up, and I had the ability to laugh at myself. That was what made me different. At least that was what I told myself.
On January 12th, 1977, Benjy Fenwick, the, gangly 7th Ravenclaw Keeper asked me to be his girlfriend. After getting over my initial shock and the awkward snogging session that ensued, I said yes and went running straight to Dorcas. Dorcas had been taunting me about my inexperience and awkwardness around boys for years, flaunting her committed relationship with Amos Diggory. I thought she would be pleased that I had managed to land a popular, cute boy who actually seemed to like me. She acted strangely, something I never understood until one day in late May, when I saw her and Benjy shagging in one of the spare rooms of the library.
That was how I ended up here, after a long day of crying, burning various objects that Dorcas had given me over the years, and eating an enormous tub of ice cream by myself, sitting in one of those alcoves on the 4th floor. I had been coming here for years late at night; it reassured me. I glanced at my watch- it was already two in the morning. I rose from my seat on the window, but I paused when I heard something that sounded like footprints. I rolled my eyes; Filch was prone to coming over to this side of the castle around this time. I should have guessed. I peered out form around the corner, expecting to see Filch and his bloody cat.
Instead, Mulciber lumbered out of the shadows. I winced, praying he wouldn't notice me. He paused for a split second barely a foot away from where I was hiding, pressed up against the walls. I shivered, edging as far back as I come. Mulciber was dangerous; I was pretty sure that he was a member of You Know Who's little schoolboy ring like his father, and he was a potent combination of physically and mentally strong. He continued on his path, leaving a stench of Firewhisky in his wake. I relaxed, my muscles going loose. I crept forward, out of the shadows, my wand out, ready to head back to my dormitory.
Suddenly, my wand flew out of my hand and zoomed behind me, and I whirled around. Mulciber was grinning darkly at me, twirling my delicate wand between his fingers.
"Thought I saw someone, lurking in the shadows. Imagine my luck when I realized it was Mary bloody MacDonald." He grinned evilly, and I turned and started to sprint, skidding down the corridor. I knew it was coming before it even hit me, and I dropped to the marble floor with a thud as a red light hit me square in the back.
There is pain. And then there is Crucio. It is like having every single bone and muscle in your entire body on fire, with someone taking nails and stabbing them into you, and then multiply all of that times one hundred. I thought I was going to die. After a while, you feel like all the air has been sucked right out of the room and out of your chest, and I felt like my lungs would burst. An eternity later, you think your brain is going to implode sending shards of skull skittering across the room. And finally, you beg with everything you've got for death to come and steal you away.
And then, just as suddenly as it started, its gone, and I'm just Mary, lying on the floor, gasping for breath and trying to ignore the heavy tracks of tears that swell down my cheeks.
"MacDonald, do you know what you are?" He thunders over me, pointing my wand directly at my chest. I lie there, unable to speak even if I wanted too.
"I said, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?" he screams, more red light streaming out of his wand and towards my heaving chest. I let out a blood-curdling screech, writhing on the floor. It was so much worse this time. All that talk about needing to mean it is true.
"You're a dirty little Mudblood. You're nothing, Macdonald. You're trash nad you don't belong here." He struck again, and thankfully, I passed out. He revived me, and let me catch my breath. I remember thinking, he wants me to feel it.
"That's right, A BLOODY MUDBLOOD. Do you know what its like explaining to your parents why a stupid little Mudblood who stole her magic is BEATING ME IN CLASSES?" I whimpered, and he did it again. I arched my back, feeling like I was literally going to explode.
"So when I heard that his precious little mudblood is prone to late night wanderings, I decided to find you for myself and kill you myself. But you know what's really the funny thing, Mary? What really bloody kills me?" he was crouching down next to me, his sickly sweet breath tickling my cheek. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to imagine something better, a safe place.
"You may be Mudblood trash, but you're…." he trailed off, and I braced myself for another Crucio. Instead I felt his sweaty palm on my upper thigh, where my uniform had ridden up. His fingers were creeping up and up and up, and I couldn't move to defend myself; it was taking all of my effort to keep breathing. As he shifted to move on top of me, I felt every drop of fight, the stuff that I prided myself on, leave my body. I was just a shell of a person, preparing for death. Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I felt him press up against me. It wasn't supposed to be like this kept running through my head on an endless loop.
"Stupefy!" A man's voice screamed from a few feet away. Mulciber's body was lifted off of me and sent flying across the room. I let a wracking sob escape my chest and I struggled to sit up. But all I could see was blood, blood surrounding me, blood on me, blood seeping out across the floors. And then, all I could see was black.
Every single bone, muscle and fiber of my body felt like it was on fire. I wanted to scream out in pain, but my lips were too parched to even move them, and it feels like I don't even have the energy to whisper, much less scream. My eyes feel dusty and stiff, like opening them would be like carving stone. It helps to focus on the sounds around me; that involves no effort or movement on my part.
"A broken spine, two broken legs, a punctured lung, severe damage to the liver, both shoulders dislocated, a majority of her ribs are broken, some are in literal shards, not to mention that being under that curse for as long as we believe she was can cause severe brain damage. She's too delicate to be moved, so St. Mungo's has sent in a team. Headmaster, Minerva made it quite clear that Mr. Black was allowed to remain here in the hospital wing, but its been a fortnight; don't you think he had better get back to school?"
"Poppy, I understand that you are concerned for Mr. Black, but I believe that his place is here. Yes, it is most definitely here, with Miss MacDonald. Now, I believe Miss Macdonald is coming too, and I am sure she is in need of several of your speciality brews."
I opened my eyes in one single wrenching movement, staring wildly around at my surroundings. I was in the hospital wing, which was completely dark. It was clearly very late at night. Dumbledore was leaning over me, his eyes twinkling brightly. I blinked stupidly back up at him. A few moments later, Madame Pomfrey came bustling back over with several potions, shoving them down my throat. I almost threw up from the taste, but I felt instantly better.
"Now, Miss MacDonald, these potions will allievate any residual pain you might be feeling. Unfortunately, I need you to remain awake for the next few hours to ensure that you do not have any residual brain trauma. These potions have several strong dosages of caffeine. Now, is anything particularly bother-"
"She's awake? Why didn't you wake me up?" I tried to stifle my surprise when I saw Sirius Black's irate face poke around my bed curtains. He dropped down into the chair next to my bedside, glaring at Madame Pomfrey.
"Mr. Black, I believe that Madame Pomfrey was about to do just that. Now, Poppy, you have been up for quite a while. I am sure that Mr. Black would be more than happy to look after Miss MacDonald tonight while you get some much deserved rest, and wake you up if anything goes awry. Now, I bid you all adieu. Miss MacDonald, I will be along tomorrow morning to discuss matters with you." with that bizarre speech, he swept out of the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey looked like she wanted to protest, but was too exhausted to bother.
"Fine. But Mr. Black, if I find you have laid another figure on our other patient, I will personally bring it to the attention of the Headmaster, as well as Professor McGonagall. Please, for the love of Merlin, behave yourselves." She also exited towards her office after locking the doors.
What the hell was going on? What was I doing in the hospital wing, why was Sirius Black still here, and why was Dumbledore acting like I was some sort of underground operative?
"Right, so, would you mind explaining how I ended up here?" I asked, turning toward Sirius. He paled slightly, his handsome face looking gaunt. We had never really been close; in fact, that was an understatement. We had been partners in Potions once in the 3rd year, and we occasionally said hello in the corridor. That was it.
"You don't remember? Well, I was the one that brought you here, you were on the fourth floor. It was late, probably 3 or 4 in the morning." He asked quietly, shifting in his chair. I paused for a moment, staring down at my interlaced hands. It was blank for one moment, and then everything came rushing back, hitting me over the head.
Dorcas and Benjy.
Mulciber.
Crucio.
And…
I shuddered, trying not to think about the last thing. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I pushed them down. I did not cry in front of other people. It was something I prided myself on, and I wasn't about to start in front of the hottest boy in school. I needed to know, though. I wanted to know just how serious….
"Sirius? He didn't…" I trailed off, the tears coming back with an astonishing vengeance. He looked away again, his face hard.
"No. And he won't." He glanced toward the bed down at the other end of the hospital wing.
"I hope you did some damage." I muttered as I followed his line of sight. He grinned.
"Oh, trust me. We did." He grinned again to himself. The Marauders taking down Mulciber was a sight I would have loved to see.
"How bad was I, when I came in? Or I suppose, when you brought me in?" I asked after a few moments.
"Pretty bad. You were just lying there, with him- in a pool of blood. I just scooped you up and ran for my life. Pomfrey had to call in St. Mungos, she was freaking out, practically having a panic attack. They couldn't move you, so they set up shop here for a bit and did everything. You had to undergo surgery for your broken spine, and they had to use a bit of donor lung to regrow one of yours. It wasn't pretty…" he trailed off, staring down at his hands again.
"Have my parents been here yet?" I asked, hoping for a different answer than the one I knew I was about to receive.
"Er, no. I've been here the whole time. They're Muggle's though, so I expect that's normal- I mean, it would be quite difficult to organize the logistics…" his voice faded away. I glanced down at my hands, trying to forget the fact that my parents hadn't come to visit while I lay on my practical death bed.
"Meadowes and Fenwick have been by, though." He added, his voice getting hard.
"You're joking." I said flatly, imagining a smug looking Dorcas and a grinning Fenwick hovering over my bedside trying to be respectful, gleeful in their secret.
"Do me a favor- if they ever come in here, and I'm asleep and you're still here, wake me up. And make sure my wand is nearby. I'm going to hex those fuckers from here to Wales." I muttered furiously.
"What happened?" he asked with a chuckle. I stared at him; for some bizarre reason, I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell this weird, hugely popular guy who had been stationed at my bedside for the past four days my deepest darkest secret. Well, one of them.
"I found them shagging in the library the day… all of this happened. Dorcas had asked me to meet her there to study for bloody charms- she wanted me to find them, little bint. That's why I was out so late; I was furious. Being out late at night seems to help calm my nerves." I trailed off quietly, avoiding his eyes. The last thing I was wanted to see was pity.
"What were you doing out so late?" I asked, in an effort to change the topic of conversation. He looked away quickly, his eyes darting out the window towards the Whomping Willow. The stormy grey clouded over with something that looked quite a bit like regret.
"Something surprisingly similar to your own predicament." He said darkly.
" Did Potter sleep with your latest flavor of the month, then?" I quipped brightly, grinning widely when I saw a shadow of humor pass over his face. He looked right back at me.
"You've hit the nail right on the head. I've been sleeping with Lily Evans, and Prongs finally discovered me."
It wasn't even that funny; but the two of us dissolved into a mess of laughter. The image of Sirius Black having it off with the prissy and prim Lily Evans was too much for me. I was just imagining them crawling out of a broom closet when I felt Sirius' hand on my knee. I turned towards him, almost in slow motion, examining myself as I went. I was sitting cross-legged in my hospital bed, dressed in what appeared to be my favorite pair of pajamas. My blanket that had been a permanent mainstay on my four-poster bed for all six years, the one that had been a gift from my nanny, was folded up neatly at the foot of my bed.
My schoolbooks were piled on the bedside table, with a neat list of assignments anchoring the pile.
"Lily brought them by." He said softly, following my eyes. I nodded weakly, thinking of the numerous times one of my dorm mates had been laid up in the hospital wing suffering from one of the various afflictions that seem to be quite popular at Hogwarts, and I had never lifted a finger to help them.
"I think Alice brought your blanket down and Marley's started a verbal assault against Mulciber. Hasn't had a single visitor." Sirius said again. I avoided his scrutinizing stare.
"Not even ole' Snivelley?" I asked in a feeble attempt at humor. I almost choked on my own tongue when I saw the look come over Sirius' face. I remembered in a faint sense of panic the tension that had stirred the castle into a frothing pot of gossip about the Marauders for weeks. Sirius had apparently been cut out of the group, and it was believed that Severus Snape had something to with it. But things must have gone back to normal, I reassured myself. He had mentioned his little merry band just moments ago.
"Sorry." I muttered under my breath, my eyes fixated on the opposite walls. I watched him shrug the depressed look off his face out of the corner of my eye.
"You really picked the best time to get attacked, Macdonald. You've completely missed exams, and I heard Minnie say that you were excused due to your condition." He said lightly.
"Thank Merlin. I was most definitely going to flunk a majority of my subjects." I grinned back, relieved that the tension had disappeared from the room. I checked my watch; it was already six thirty in the morning.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Hmmm…" He murmured in reply, his eyes suddenly heavy with sleep.
"Why are you still here? We're not friends, I've ignored all of your mates for years. You don't owe me anything, but you've stayed in the hospital wing with me for the whole time I've been here, and you've convinced Dumbledore that you should be here. Why?" I said breathlessly, encouraged by the fact that it really couldn't get much worse or awkward than this. I stared at him, waiting for him to speak.
"Ah, Miss Macdonald! Mr. Black! I see you two have managed to keep each other awake! Now, Miss MacDonald, once we have concluded our little discussion, you can get some much-needed rest. You as well, Mr. Black. Now, Mr. Black, would you mind terribly waiting out in the hall?" Dumbledore interrupted, appearing out of what seemed like thin air, his blue eyes twinkling so merrily it was almost blinding. Sirius threw me an awkward look that I didn't really understand, and exited the hospital wing.
"Now, Miss MacDonald, I have numerous things to discuss with you, but let us address the most pressing issue first; your attacker. Mr. Mulciber has been expelled, and will be moved from the hospital wing as soon as possible. I regret very much that you are being forced to share a room with him, but whoever harmed Mr. Mulciber so thoroughly has ensured that he cannot be moved until after the school year ends. The school's lawyer's have already filed a case, and the trial has been scheduled for three weeks from today. Miss MacDonald, I wish you to know that I fully believe that Mr. Mulciber will be found guilty and sent to Azkaban. As I suspect Mr. Black has already informed you, you are excused from exams as they all passed while you were unconscious. This evening is the End of Term Feast, and I have already spoken with Madame Pomfrey, and you will be dismissed from the hospital wing after this conversation is over. She suggests that you take your free day to catch up on your sleep, and perhaps pack." He said brightly from his perch on the bed next to mine, the place Sirius had just vacated. I nodded vigorously, practically drooling from the prospect getting out the hospital wing and sleeping in my own very comfortable bed. I watched him sweep out of the room.
"Wait! Professor!" I called when he was nearing the door. He turned back and smiled warmly at me.
"How did Sirius take his exams?" I asked foolishly. Dumbledore smiled widely at me.
"He refused to leave your bedside and offered to take zeros on all of them. Of course, Professor McGonagall then offered to proctor them at your bedside. Miss MacDonald, Mr. Black hasn't left your bedside since you arrived here two weeks ago."
And with that, Dumbledore swept out of the room, leaving me stunned and with plenty to think about.