Dean walks into the bunker where Sam is sitting on the couch and Cas is on top of the faux tree...WAIT WHAT?
"Cas, why are you on top of the tree?" Dean asks.
"It is customary to put an angel on top of the Christmas tree, right?" Cas replies.
"Cas, no," Dean says, running a hand through his hair in frustration.
"Dean, Sam says it is a tradition," Cas says, head cocked to the side in confusion.
"Yeah. An angel figurine," Dean replies.
"I don't see the point of that, considering I'm an actual angel," Cas says.
"Cas, get off of the friggin tree," Dean insists.
"No!" Cas yells.
"Castiel...," Dean growls.
"No," Cas replies.
"Cas," Dean warns.
"Why?" Cas asks.
"Because...that's not how it works," Dean sighs.
"Why doesn't it work like that?" Cas asks.
"Because no one else has an actual angel," Dean says.
"Yeah," Cas says. "But we do."
"Get down," Dean says. "You're gonna get hurt."
"Make me," Cas replies.
"Fine," Dean says. "I'll give you one sexual act of your choice if you get down now."
Cas jumps down from the tree and knocks Dean onto the couch with a kiss. Dean deepens it.
"Guys! Uh...still here!" Sam exclaims. Dean and Cas immediately pull away.
"Sorry, Sammy," Dean says. And then, knowing Sam hates the song, he adds "I guess it was just the heat of the moment."
"Dean!" Sam yells. "I'm gonna kill you!"
"Just try," Cas replies. "If you kill him, I'll kill you."
"Cas, it's an expression," Dean explains.
Dean's yell of "Goddamnit Cas! Not again!" can be heard through the bunker, and Sam knows that he's on top of the tree again. He stays out of it, because the thing that Dean promised Cas was a little vulgar and he preferred not to imagine them having sex.
Gabriel shows up while Sam is thinking, saying "Hey, Sammich!"
"Hey, Gabriel," Sam says, hugging the archangel.
"I don't want to know," Gabriel says after hearing the distant 'BANG! CRASH!' of...something.
"Well, Cas won't get off the top of the tree and Dean is trying to make him," Sam says.
"Well, why aren't you in there?" Gabriel asks.
"Dean promised Cas one sexual act of his choice last time," Sam replies. "I don't want to think about him having sex."
"It's a beautiful, natural act...wait, did you say 'last time?'" Gabriel asks.
"Cas wouldn't get off the tree yesterday," Sam explains.
"Why was he on the tree in the first place?" Gabriel asks.
"I told him to get the angel," Sam says. "Guess he took it literally."
"Yep," Gabriel chuckles. "Sounds like him."
They hear a distant crash and rush into the main room.
"It's fine, guys. Cas jumped down and a few ornaments broke," Dean says.
"Which ones?" Sam asks.
"Oh, just the golden balls," Dean replies.
"Oh, so the balls dropped?" Gabriel asks.
"Gabriel!" everyone yells.
My first fic in this fandom! Yay! Happy Holidays!