Author: Nayru Ikari, now better known as Yuzu-chan.
Title: Tactics
Fandom: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: Romance
Pairing: Eriol/Tomoyo, Sakura/Syaoran and some Tomoyo/Sakura
Rating: PG-13
Finished:
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura and it's characters belong to Clamp. They do NOT belong to Nelvana, since I'm using the original names. I'm sorry, but I detest Nelvana and it's names.
The song is property of Silje Nergaard, Tord Gustavsen and Mike McGurk.
Nayru's Rants: I really felt like I HAD to write something, and since my last CCS fic went down the drain and was never posted, I decided it was time I tried again. Please forgive me for the pairing, I know of Kaho and Eriol, but like Tomoyo/Eriol better. Since they're both in child form, I guess I think it's more natural. =)
It's as plain as the nose on your face
Nobody can deny
That sorrow must find it's rightful place
But why am I so sorry for your love?
"Tomoyo! Tomoyo!" Daidouji Tomoyo, aged 19, turned at the sound of her name. The caller was Kinomoto Sakura, her best friend. Sakura came running towards Tomoyo, her long brown hair dancing in the wind behind her. As always when Sakura approached her, Tomoyo's world lit up and she forgot everything around her. And she wouldn't want it any other way.
"Sakura!" Tomoyo replied, waving at her friend. As always, Sakura was supporting roller blades and as always, Sakura was late. The Clow Card Mistress' personality hadn't changed much in 9 years, though her appearance had. Sakura's hair was much longer and rich, nearly as long as Tomoyo's. And it had darkened, become dark brown, almost red. Sakura was starting to remind Tomoyo more and more of Mitsuki Kaho, their math-teacher in grade school.
"You almost missed the bus. Rika called me and said it just stopped by her place."
"I...know.." Sakura said, panting. "I... overslept..."
Tomoyo smiled at her friend just as a big white bus came down the road. In the window they saw Rika, Chiharu, Naoko and Takashi waving at them. They waved back and boarded the bus as soon as it had stopped.
"Are you exited about meeting Syaoran again, Sakura?" Rika asked, leaned over her seat. Naoko turned also.
"Well, yes.." Sakura said and a faint crimson colour crept up her cheeks. "I can't wait, but I keep wondering if he's changed..."
As the talk went on Tomoyo looked out of the window. Late August. The leaves had already started their seperation from the trees and the wind took them, making them whirl in a mixture of red, brown and yellow.
Tomoyo smiled. She would turn 20 soon. Her smile vanished quickly, as the leaves had from her view. 9 years. It had been 9 years since he'd made her angry in Ueno Park in Tokyo. Right before he was about to battle Sakura.
He'd called her clever and other things she found insulting. For 'clever' was something Tomoyo did not find herself. Was it clever to love her best friend? She didn't think so. Yet, she couldn't let go.
He'd critizized her for that too. He couldn't understand how she'd let herself go through such pain for Sakura. And she'd told him she only wanted Sakura's happiness. Even though she couldn't be the one who gave it to her. They'd never worked it out after that. He'd gone back to England soon after, with Ms Mitsuki, Nakuru and Spinel Sun. And some after that, Syaoran had to go back to Hong Kong, much to Sakura and his' dismay.
Tomoyo felt some enjoyment of this, even though she shouldn't. But then, the one person who held her away from Sakura had dissappeared from Sakura's life. Or so Tomoyo thought.
Sakura and Syaoran had written letters to eachother and kept in touch, still as in love as ever. And Tomoyo's heart had been broken. Even if she didn't know why, one of the nights when she'd wept in her bed, making the sheets wet, she'd called him. He'd answered the phone and she'd hung up at once when she heard his voice. She'd been foolish.
Tomoyo was jerked out of her thoughts as the bus came to a halt outside the airport. Sakura was in total bliss. Her Syaoran was coming to her, finally, after so many years. She was jumping up and down, waiting for the passengers from Hong Kong.
Tomoyo should be happy for her best friend. She'd told him she'd be happy as long as Sakura was so, but it hurt her to see Sakura so happy. Because it wasn't because of Tomoyo.
Tomoyo unpacked her camcorder, holding it up so it was directed at Sakura. When the gate opened and Syaoran came into focus, Tomoyo observed. She didn't enter the greeting. She filmed it. She was like always. On the outside looking in.
Syaoran embraced Sakura and lifted her up in the air, twirling her around. And Sakura laughed. And the tone of her laughter had now gone from sweet bird's singing too a torment for Tomoyo. Because it wasn't her doing.
Tomoyo's vision had started going blurry and when she touched her cheek, it was moist. It was so silly of her to cry over this. She scolded herself before wiping the wetness away and stopping her camcorder. She put on a smile and went over to Syaoran, hugging him and Sakura.
"You've been missed."
Sakura smiled sweetly and hugged her best friend and boyfriend even tighter. "You really have."
Syaoran replied, looking at them both, but Tomoyo knew it was to Sakura whom he spoke. "I've missed you too."
He let go of them and strode over to the luggage desk, checking with the woman behind the desk. Sakura watched him go and whispered to Tomoyo. "He's not different. At all."
Tomoyo had to agree. Syaoran Li had grown and had become more lean, but he still had the same eyes, the same hair and the same attitude. She watched him walk back to them, smiling at Sakura. When they were in eachother's arms again, Sakura decided it was about time they left the airport.
"-with Kaho."
Tomoyo turned her head fast, looking at Syaoran. But Sakura beat her too it. "Nani?"
Syaoran kissed her lightly before answering. "Yes, they broke up two years after they left Japan. We've been in touch. Appearntly, they weren't compatible. He told me he was going to Japan again. For good this time." Syaoran took a sip of his drink. Sakura's eyes widened.
"He's moving here?" Syaoran nodded, smiling at his fiancee.
"I don't know when though, he might already be here. He told me this four weeks ago."
"Everyone's moving back! Oh, I've been meaning to ask you, how's Meilin?"
Tomoyo's eyes flickered to the ring on Sakura's finger. He had been right. She couldn't be happy for Sakura's happiness. She wanted to be the one who'd make Sakura happy for the rest of her life. But that was impossible.
And still, she was happy for them, for they were both her friends, and she loved them dearly. And now he was coming back. He was going to see what a fool she had become.
"Well-" Syaoran started, but Tomoyo stood up. "Would you excuse me, I'm rather tired and this headache has been building up all through the day." Her friends understood and let her go. Tomoyo quickly exited the bar they'd been sitting in, not wanting to be spotted leaving alone.
She stopped outside, leaning against the cool brick wall of the building. Her heart was racing and she didn't know why. She'd lied to them. She didn't have a headache. All she'd wanted was to get away from the bar. It was suffocating to her. They'd been out to celebrate Sakura and Syaoran's engagement. All of them. Even Terada-sensei had been there. Tomoyo had wondered about him and Rika for quite some time now, and it was confirmed by the warm looks they'd given eachother and the kiss Tomoyo'd overseen in the bathroom. She'd exited slowly, wanting to leave the two alone.
Tomoyo walked fast on the sidewalk, but not in the direction of her apartment. She went to Ueno Park without knowing it, and sat down on a bench in the middle of the sakura trees.
There she cried her heart out. She'd lost Sakura. Finally she realized this. She'd lost Sakura. She was glad it was to Syaoran and not someone else, but.... She'd lost her best friend. Her love.
"Um, excuse me?" Tomoyo cursed to herself. She should have gone home where she could weep in peace. Where no one could bother her. She was so stupid. She was such a fool. "Miss?"
Tomoyo stood up and brushed off herself. "I'm leaving. You can have the-" But she never finished her sentence. For in front of her stood Hiragiizawa Eriol, his hair as unruly black as ever.
"Tomoyo-chan..." His voice was like a whisper in the wind and more comforting to her than her tears.
"Hiragiizawa-kun..." And they just stood watching eachother, Tomoyo not knowing how to react. Neither did he. He'd went to her apartment so many times in the two weeks since he'd arrived. And each time he'd turned back before knocking, for he had no buisness there. But he'd always gone back, either standing in the pavement outside, watching her in the window, or in front of her door, ready to knock.
"Tomoyo-chan..." He repeated. "It's... good to see you." And a smile formed in his face and she took a step closer.
"They're engaged." He nodded, bowing his head. "Go ahead. Say it."
"Say what?"
"I told you so."
"It's not in my nature to gloat, Daidouji Tomoyo. For I knew it would end like this."
"Hiragiizawa... Don't." And he nodded again, stepping closer to her. "You knew all along too. That you'd never feel happy just because she was."
"There was a time I did feel happy for her. Whenever she smiled, my heart raced and I was happy. Now it's... different. Whenever she smiles, I... Feel happy, but my heart does not race and I feel like I'm in solitude. Because it's him she smiles at. Not me."
Tomoyo's eyes began to water, blurring her vision. She turned away, her red silk dress flowing around her. He didn't react, just looked away, biting his lip.
"I... I still love her, Eriol." Came the soft whisper of her voice through the wind. "I still love her." He touched her shoulder, turning her around and she buried her face in his neck.
"I know..." He said, stroking her hair. "I know."
"Tomoyo-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" The scream of her best friend made Tomoyo turn and smile a bit as she saw Sakura lie on the floor, rubbing her butt from her fall.
"Hoe! Don't smirk at me, Tomoyo, that was painful!" Sakura complained as she was helped up by the now grinning Tomoyo and amused Eriol. "You neither, Eriol. It's not nice." She pouted, looking like a five year old, not getting her way.
"So, where Syaoran?" Tomoyo asked, trying to get Sakura's thoughts elsewhere. "Oh, he's talking to the flower girl, insisting we have sakura blossoms down the aile. I've tried to explain to him that's not possible this time of year, but he won't listen." She laughed slightly. "If he keeps this up, it'll be spring before we get married and he'll get his way."
Tomoyo smiled at her best friend. Ever since Tomoyo had accepted Sakura's request to organize the wedding, she had seen how happy her friend was. Days went by and Tomoyo was starting to feel more and more happy for Sakura. It had started to dawn on Tomoyo that it was the right thing to do for her friend. To marry the man she loved. And Tomoyo was happy this way.
"Tomoyo?!" She was snapped out of her thoughts by Sakura's slight giggle and the call of her name. "I was wondering if you'd go and reason Syaoran out of it?"
"Well, yes. Of course." Tomoyo smiled at her and Eriol and left them for Syaoran who was standing at the other side of the banquet hall.
"Doesn't she seem happier to you, Eriol-kun?" Sakura asked as soon as Tomoyo was out of earshot. She turned her brown haired head to him and smiled up at him. "I wonder what's making her this way."
Eriol looked down at her and smiled knowingly back. "Hm... You really are something, aren't you, Sakura-chan?" Sakura looked puzzled at him, enquiring what he ment. He just continued smiling his Eriol smile, so full of mysteries.
Tomoyo was striding over to them now, looking frustrated. "He just WON'T listen!" She exclaimed, nearly tearing her hair out. "Sakura, take your fiancee OUT of my sight before I tie him up and lock him in a closet!"
"But-"
"No 'buts', just do it! Leave the planning to me. I'll take care of everything. Just DON'T let him in here again!" Tomoyo stated, pushing Sakura towards Syaoran who was still torturing the flower girl.
Sakura was about to protest again, but Eriol assured her. "Don't worry, I'll help."
"And that's supposed to comfort me?" Sakura said teasingly. She was 1 second later being pushed out the door with Syaoran by Tomoyo and Eriol.
Tomoyo nodded apporvingly as she closed the door and turned to Eriol, a smile on her face. "So, let's get cracking!" She winked at him and held up a sheet green and one of offwhite . "Which colour motive do you like best?"
Two hours later of "But this colour brings out the colour in Sakura-chan's eyes" and "This match Syaoran's suit" Eriol slumped down in a chair, looking lost up at Tomoyo.
"Daidouji, let's go with the pale abricot dream colour and get it over with!" Tomoyo looked thoughtfully at the piece of cloth she held in one hand. "You know what, Hiragiizawa...?"
"What?"
"You're right!" Upon hearing that, Eriol breathed a big sigh of relief and straightened in the chair. "What's next?"
"There's the food preparations..."
"Let's do that!"
"Well, for that we need the bride and groom so we'll skip it so far. But, since the colour motive is 'pale abricot dream' what kind of flowers are we going to have? We have to have some in that colour." Tomoyo looked over the flower chart with Eriol, putting circles around those that were potentional.
"What about this one?" Eriol said, pointing to an offwhite rose with vivid green leaves. Tomoyo shook her head. "No, that won't do..." She turned the page and found herself looking at a tulip. It was exactly the colour of the sheet they had chosen.
"That's it!" She exclaimed, and picked up her cellphone, calling the florist.
Two minutes later, she hung up the phone disappointed. "The season for these kinds are in March, but Li-kun and Sakura are getting married in August. There is no chance of getting these kinds now."
"Yes there is." Eriol said quietly, smiling at her. She looked puzzled at him and he said to turn around. She did so, wondering what he had up his sleeve.
"Ta-da!" She heard his voice and turned. Everywhere she looked there were pale abricot tulips, decorating the walls and tables, sneaking it's way up the door and around the table legs. "I know this is two months to early, but they will stay like this."
"How... How did you...?" Tomoyo uttered, gaping at the magnificent sight.
"That will just be my little secret." Eriol said, smiling mischieviously, twirling his key between his fingers. She hugged him suddenly, startling the magician. "Thank you... Eriol."
He started. It was the first time she'd called him by his firstname. It felt... right, for some reason. He put his arms around her too and she smiled into his sweater. It was good to have someone there who understood you. Ever since the first time she'd seen him since he'd come back, then had been inseperatable, doing everything together. Even this he helped her with. He understood her pain of doing it for her best friend, but also the need for doing something so important for Sakura. Tomoyo found herself flushed and let go of him. She shook her head, like she was confused. "Daidouji...?"
"Oh, it's nothing. We have to get Syaoran and Sakura for the food preperations." She hurried out of the hall, dragging Eriol with her.
What is the matter with you, Tomoyo? She scolded herself. You're friends, nothing more. But that thought hurt as much as the thought of Sakura getting married to someone else than her. She realised with a pang that she was getting closer and closer to Eriol and she didn't know if she liked it. It had always been just Sakura for her. Now, Eriol was beginning to slowly taking that place in Tomoyo's heart. The place she had reserved for Sakura.
"I would like to make a toast." Tomoyo announced, clinging her knife on her glass. She stood up, straightening her dress. All attention was turned to her. "There are many kinds of relationships in life. Friendship, love, and the one of enemies. When Sakura and Syaoran first met, they fought a lot. Even so, there is a thin line between hate and love as I'm sure we all have experienced."
She thought back to when she'd hated Eriol for critizing for her very existance. That hate had grown so much in the nine years they'd been apart, but now, she'd learned to... She shook her head, not wanting this moment to go away.
"Sakura and Syaoran are both two of my best friends and I love them dearly. Therefore, it makes me very happy that they have found love in eachother. I raise my glass to them, for many more years to come of love and friendship. Kanpai." Tomoyo drank heavily with the others and sat down. Sakura looked at her best friend, smiling gratefully at her. Tomoyo smiled back.
"I-" a voice enterupted. It was Eriol. "would also like to toast for the couple. It will not be in the drinking manner however and I will need the assistance of Daidouji-san."
Tomoyo looked questiongly at him, but stood up when he offered her his hand. Eriol led her to the piano and whispered rather lightly to her "Japanese Blue.".
Tomoyo smiled and nodded. As Eriol sat down at the piano and hit the first note, a soft soprano sounded in the hall, filling up everyone's ears.
"Can't cound the hours, blame the miles
And say they keep me from your smile
For you are here.
No oceans lie between my lover's arms and I."
Eriol took over the next lines, his light tenor voice colouring the music as Tomoyo's soprano had done.
"I see your smile, but where are you?
Why won't you dare to need me too?"
Tomoyo joined in on the song, their voices in a perfect duet, drowning into eachother, making contact. She didn't know why, but suddenly it felt like they were the only ones listening, the only ones on earth.
"I'd bring you joy to light the way.
A ray of sun to thaw your days.
Please let me through
I don't ask much but the slightest touch of Japanese Blue."
Eriol's cheeks grew a slight shade of pink when Tomoyo sat beside him, singing out with him the last few lines of the refrain.
"I beg of you
My life is such
It needs a touch of Japanese Blue."
Eriol let Tomoyo sing the bridge by herself, just listening to her voice as he always did when she practiced her song.
"I see that life has taken toll
Your shattered dreams I can't make whole
But let me through and I will stay
Close by your side, to comfort you."
Once again, they sang together, Tomoyo feeling drawn to his voice as bears to honey. She didn't know what was happening to her. All she knew was that she never wanted the song to end. She just wanted to listen to his voice for eternity.
"Please let me through
I don't ask much but the slightest touch of Japanese Blue
I beg of you, my life is such
It needs a touch of Japanese Blue."
The guests of the wedding broke into applause and Sakura had jumped up from her chair, running over to Eriol and Tomoyo, hugging them both. "Thank you." She whispered, silent tears running down her cheeks. "It's been the most beautiful wedding. Thank you both so much."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that Hiragiizawa here did much." Tomoyo smirked. She loved torturing him like this. Eriol just ignored her, giving Sakura an extra squeeze. Tomoyo's eyes darkened when she saw this and she wondered slightly why.
Sakura grinned at her friend and shook her head. "When will you two ever grow up?"
"How about never?" Syaoran's voice cut in and he slipped his arms around his bride's waist. Sakura smiled up at him and announced the ending of the dinner party, making sure everyone stayed for dancing.
"Could I have this dance, my lady?" Unruly black hair before her, belonging to a man bowing. She giggled, and to continue the act she took his hand that was extended to her. "I would be honoured to, my lord."
"I never knew you fell for the gentlemen, Daidouji-san." Eyes teasing her. Very black eyes. Like two big pools in front of her, drawing her in, making her drown in them.
"Who speaks of gentlemen, Hiragiizawa-kun? I see no such thing." Eyes twinkling merrily at him. Kind eyes belonging to his partner in crime and in other things, of course. But they had always been like this. Teasing eachother, but still good friends. Still being able to joke off serious situations as they were just jokes that needed to be treated with no precautions and that would be taken by the wind in the nift of a second.
"As much as I agree to that, better not let Sakura-chan hear it, or she will be very sad with you not thinking highly of her husband." Tomoyo glanced over at Syaoran and Sakura dancing, Sakura laughing at something he had whispered in her ear.
"I do not think she would mind at all. She has always been the type that made up her own opinins about people and it would be most difficult to change her opinion of the man she has married, or do you not think so?"
He laughed at her and smiled his mischivious Eriol smile. "If I didn't know better, I would say I'm rubbing off on you, Daidouji. You're starting to speak like I do."
Tomoyo faked her shock and look at him with big hurt eyes, pouting with her lip. "Aw, do not speak such words, Hiragiizawa, a lady would be much offended." Then she couldn't hold it anymore and broke into a fit of giggles. Then it turned more into coughing.
"Hah! You lose!" Eriol said, poking her side. She swatted his hand away and he could tell it was something serious. Tomoyo started to cough for real now and Sakura noticed it, running over to her friend with Syaoran right behind her. "Tomoyo-chan? Tomoyo-chan? What's wrong?"
Tomoyo managed to utter "Something... in my... throath.." before consumed with another fit off coughs and up came something red. There were no coughs after that one and Tomoyo was back to normal. She persuaded everyone in her Tomoyo way to go back to what they were doing and that she would be fine. Sakura did so more recuctantly than everyone else, casting worried glances in her direction every once in a while. Tomoyo saw this and was grateful for it, even though she said it was nothing to bother with.
"Are you sure you are alright, Daidouji?" Eriol asked her, looking concerned at her, his eyebrows furrowed.
"Hai hai, I'm fine, Hiragiizawa, don't worry." She smiled at him, and he relaxed again.
Why was he so concerned about her Tomoyo wondered after the wedding as she and Eriol was walking home in silence. Why was that? Did he care for her in any other way than as a friend? she mused, opening her door.
"I guess this is where we part." Tomoyo said, looking at him from the stairs. He nodded and turned, calling 'Sayonara' behind him. She watched him walk a few steps before calling him back. "Ano... Hiragiizawa-kun...? Would you like some tea maybe?"
He smiled at her as he turned back and walked back up the stairs to her. "I'd like that."
Tomoyo's heart raced as she let him into her apartment. He sat down on her couch and she went into the kitchen putting over the tea pot. She didn't notice him in the kitchen door, watching her. He smiled as she bit her lip, pouring the steaming water into two cups. When she turned, she jumped at the sight of him.
"Hiragiizawa... Don't startle me like that. How long have you been standing there?" She enquired, placing a cup of green tea in his hands and walking with him back to the living room.
"A while." He replied, sipping his tea quietly, taking in her apartment. It was just like her. Neat and clean, not one piece of furniture too much and everything matching.
When his eyes roamed over her, she felt herself blush slightly as he studied her. Even she matched herself. The maid of honour dress she had on was deep red, a perfect contrast to her white skin and black hair. Actually, when he looked at her in this light, she seemed almost surreal, the black hair cascading down her back in soft ringlets and her dress seemed to pick up the pace where the black ended.
"Kirei..." He found himself mutter and leaning closer to her. Her eyes went wide as his lips made contact with hers, but then they softened and a transparent tear ran down her cheek and onto her hand. He broke the kiss slowly, almost hestitantly. "Is it... alright?" He asked her, not looking into her eyes as if he had commited a crime.
She took his hand and led it to her face, making his finger touch the corner of her eye. He looked up and traced the path of her tear with his finger.
"It's alright." She reassured him, kissing his cheek, his mouth, his neck. Now it was his eyes turn to widen as she started unbottuning his shirt, kissing her way down his chest.
"Will you love me?" She repeated between kisses. "Will you love me?"
He had asked himself the same question before and he always came out with the same answer. He already loved her. He had loved her since the very first time they met in Tomoeda all those years ago. Not romantic love, but love as a friend. Love as in he needed her to be there. As a friend.
Now, that love had changed and it had become stronger, more from his heart. It had hurt him, even the first time they met since he came back almost a year ago, when she had whispered him the words in Ueno Park. "I still love her."
He could still her her cries in the late nights after Sakura and Syaoran's engagement, when he had been all she had, comforting her from the dept of his heart. He had loved her for more than a friend then and that had not changed. She was still the person he had fell in a child-like love with ten years ago. The same sweet caring person. And even though he had Kaho then, he had always felt attracted to her for who she was and he had drawn himself more and more away from Kaho.
She had understood it, and when they had broken up she had told him to go to her and collect what had been lost to her long ago. His heart.
I love you already, Daidouji Tomoyo. I've done so for a long time.
After, he lay stroking her hair, her breath steady in the moonlit room. He smiled down at her peaceful expression and the thought occured to him that he might would wake up with her like this more than this one time. He smiled at himself for the thought made him as happy as he had ever been before and he never wanted to let go.
Of course, he would never do anything against Tomoyo's own wishes but he still had needs for himself. And now it was her and it would always be her. For as long as he lived.
One eyelid fluttered open and looked up at him. A smile formed on her lips and the other eye opened too. "Eriol..." She said, before streaching out and pulling him towards her for a kiss.
They both smiled in the kiss for they had both found someone to love other than what was impossible. And they both had the feeling of complete happiness caused by no one but eachother.
~Fin