A/N: With all of the JAM floating around, I figured I'd offer something … not-JAM. Toast, if you will. But it's cute toast, I think.
Martyrs
by Aeterna
"Daddy?"
"Yes, Sasha."
"Why don't you ever yell?"
"It's not polite."
"Then why are you always polite?"
"I like to be on good terms with people, if I can be. People like you when you're polite."
"Mommy doesn't. She was yelling at Keith yesterday, and he yelled back, and then when they calmed down, she said, 'I'm glad I can have a real argument with you. I could never yell at Toby. He'd just sit there and take it like some damn martyr.'"
"Don't say that word, Sasha."
"What, martyr? Is that a bad word? What does it mean?"
"No, 'martyr' isn't a bad word. A martyr is someone who dies for something they believe in."
"Then why did Mommy call you a martyr? You're not dead."
"No, I'm not. Mommy used the word, 'martyr,' figuratively, meaning that I was suffering unnecessarily."
"Oh. Well, you should learn to yell, because then Mommy won't think you're a martyr anymore and you can get together again."
"It's not that simple, Sasha."
"Why not?"
"Because there are a lot of reasons why Mommy and I aren't together anymore. It's not just that I don't yell."
"You should still learn to yell."
"Why?"
"Because then when you get a new girlfriend, she won't think you're a martyr."
"Well, it's something to consider."
"Try it now, Daddy! See? Like this – AAAAAAAAH!"
"Sasha …"
"Do it, Daddy!"
"… aaaaaah."
"That was pathetic."
"Hey!"
"You can do better than that – AAAAAAAAH!"
"AAAAAAAH!"
"Yeah, that's it! Good job, Daddy!"
"You know what, Sasha?"
"What?"
"That felt good."