Conan sighed inaudibly to himself as the Mouri's returned from yet another case the Great Sleeping Kogoro solved then inexplicably forgot about. He was tired, tired from the act of being a seven-year old kid. And not even the good kind of KID, but and actual child. He'd long since gotten over the shame and embarrassment of the typical childlike behaviour, but that didn't mean he didn't have bouts of... insecurity? Unease, maybe? He shook his head lightly. It didn't matter either way. He just had to muscle through it, pretend his heart wasn't ripped in two every time Ran got that wistful look when talking about Shinichi. As if his heart didn't shatter a little more each time she didn't look wistful when talking about him- Shinichi.

It was better to differentiate now rather then get confused later, he thought. Conan only just smothered a bitter smile; they were practically different people now, anyway. Shinichi was a stuck-up prick, always acting superior and like a know-it-all. Conan, though? A strange kid, strangely like the missing High School Detective, but a bright child. Freakishly smart, but still a kid, hanging out with other children and looking up to his sister like any other boy of that age would. A little curious, maybe, observant, too, but that wasn't really unusual.

Maybe they had similarities, but Conan had been humbled, and now... honestly, sometimes he thought... he thought that if he managed to become Shinichi again, he wouldn't be able to slip back into the role.

He changed, drastically. There were similarities, yes, but they were just that. Not the same, not at all. He changed to fit into his new body but now he couldn't fit into his old one. He was trapped. Too old for a seven-year old, too old for a teenager- and wasn't that just wrong? Too old for his own age. He'd seen too much, it had aged him and that innocence was lost, utterly and completely. He wasn't that naive brat of a boy, nor was he a trustful child or a starry-eyed teen with a crush on his best friend-

And that, he thought, sadly, is the worst thing, isn't it? He didn't love Ran- not like he did before. She was practically his sister now, and maybe, if he turned back, and still loved Ran, it would be okay, because she could help. Together they could do it and Conan, Shinichi, whoever he was, would heal and he'd fit, it would work. They'd make it work.

But he couldn't, because he didn't love Ran like Shinichi once did, and she, as much as it hurts (burns, stabbing, sharp, pain, almost as bad as the de-aging-), she didn't love him the same way either. Sonoko would have to live with the disappointment that her childhood friends getting married would never happen. The thought almost made him laugh, but he stopped himself. He had an act to keep up, and laughing hysterically wouldn't help.

Besides, he's never been a good liar. He never needed those kinds of skills as Shinichi.

He blinks as Ran puts a hand on his shoulder. "Conan-kun? We're here."

Though, judging by how seamlessly he smiles at her and chirps out some childish answer almost immediately...

He's learnt how to lie quite well since then.