This story represents what I think would be a terrific story for a new Mario game.
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Far away from Earth, the Mushroom Kingdom existed, as the capitol land of planet Fungai. Mario and Luigi called Fungai the Mushroom World. It was similar to planet Earth, in its levels of oxygen, and therefore green plant life. Yet in Fungai, it was the fungus, the mushroom, which over time became the basis of dominant life, rather than apes.
Mario had been here in Fungai for 30 years now. Really? 30 years? He couldn't believe it had been so long already. He scratched his head as he thought about how much time had gone by.
"Luigi! Can you believe we've been here, in the Mushroom World, for 30 years now?" he asked.
"Mario, we've been over this a thousand times. We've been here for 20 years."
"Well, anyway. I'm done fixing that bathroom faucet. It was nothing. Just needed a new screw or two due to rust in the metal. It happens at times with screws, if they get wet and never dried. Well . . . good as new now."
Mario and Luigi sat still for a while, thinking in silence, as they often did, when they lost their motivation to do things. 30 years now. Maybe they could go back to Earth. Back to the far-away land of New York, in planet Earth, where they had grown up. Back to Brooklyn. But then again, they would be going back to the difficulties of trying to get by in New York. Constant threats of eviction. Letters in the mail with red letters. Desperate hours of plumbing spent trying to make enough money to keep up with rent, utilities, water bill, electric, phone bill. Who knew what other types of bills existed in Earth by now?
Earth was a difficult place to live. In the Mushroom Kingdom, the weather was always better. It was always sunny. Mario and Luigi always had the option of free housing. They had, after all, saved the princess from King Koopa, 30 years ago. At that time, Princess Peach Toadstool, saved by Mario, restored all the mushroom-people in the kingdom, transformed into brick and stone by King Koopa, back to their true selves. The entire kingdom was saved by two plumbers from Earth, and the princess' father, the King, was nothing but grateful.
"Eviction notice," Luigi said, going through today's mail. "Coupons. Hold onto this one. This is important. 20% off."
"Eviction notice? I don't trust you. You're lying! Let me see that." Mario snatched the paper up, and looked it over.
DEAR MARIO:
You have not paid your rent in months. I swear, if you think you're going to live for the rest of your life rent-free, under the orders of that idiot King, you are wrong. That princess was rescued 30 years ago. You are not above the law, and that includes landlord/tenant law. If you don't have your backlog of 12 months rent paid by the 30th of this month, YOU AND YOUR DEADBEAT BROTHER ARE OUT OF HERE.
FOR EVER.
- Landlord
P.S. Ever
"No way!" Mario yelled. "Even here, everything's difficult now? Come on, Luigi, let's go live in the princess' castle."
Mario spun a wooden hat rack repeatedly. Red? Blue? Metal Cap? Brushing his brown hair with his head, he realized that he was gradually going bald. He picked the red hat to wear. Once he was done, Luigi used the lower half of the hat rack, and picked a green cap to wear.
Mario used his right hand to slide open a closet door, replacing his own reflection in the glass panel with the sight of all his clothes hung on hangers. What would he wear today? Blue overalls over red? Red overalls over blue? Black overalls over red? Brown overalls over red? White-over-red Fire Suit? Too many choices. Finally, he picked black over red, and he walked with his clothes into the bathroom.
Luigi looked through his own choices of clothes. Blue overalls over green. Indigo, a color too purple to be blue, yet too blue to be purple, over green. Brown overalls over green. White overalls over green. Black overalls over green. Quite a selection. Finally, he picked black over green.
Mario stepped out of the bathroom, wearing red and black. "NICE!" Luigi said. "Looking snazzy, brother!"
Luigi stepped into the bathroom, and a second later stepped out wearing green and black. "Stylin'!" Mario said. "Okay, let's go to the castle now."
Side by side, Mario and Luigi, wearing black overalls over red or green, left the house and embarked on the walk to the castle. "We're off to see the princess!" Mario sang. "The wonderful princess of -"
"Stop singing, stop singing," Luigi said, and then it was over.
The green transportation pipe that led to Princess Peach's castle was still damaged, and under repairs. It looked like old food that had long since gone rotten. "Forget the pipes," Luigi said. "Let's take the go-karts."
In a short time, Mario and Luigi were behind the wheels of their twin red and green go-karts, starting up the engines and slamming on the gas pedals. They drove quickly through the roads of the Royal Raceway to reach Princess Peach's castle. The magnificent gray castle was visible from a far distance away. It could be seen throughout the entire Mushroom Kingdom.
Once they finished the drive to the castle, they took a moment to stop and admire the structure from the outside. Driving the go-karts on ahead down the yellow ground, they continued to drive over the gray stone bridge that was built over the water. They nodded their heads to the two mushroom-people guards who stood on both sides of the bridge. Stopping just short of the castle doors, they both hopped off, and turned off their engines.
"Bringing things like go-karts from Earth to the Mushroom Kingdom was the best idea you ever had, brother!" Luigi said.
"Yeah," Mario said. "It's just too bad we had to start. You know. Drilling for oil and all. But that's another story."
"Go-karts should be a fine stepping stone before they learn cars."
"Cars? I don't think so. I think we should stop at go-karts. Let's get everyone driving go-karts, and leave it at that."
"Everyone already does drive go-karts," Luigi replied.
Now, as the doors to the castle were opened by two guards, the two plumbers from Earth walked their go-karts inside.
Before long, Princess Peach had met Mario inside her castle, and Princess Daisy, of Sarasaraland, had met with Luigi. Both plumbers had landed princesses as girlfriends. Now, all four were in the same room at once.
Princess Daisy had left Sarasaraland some time ago, to be with Luigi, in the Mushroom Kingdom. Sarasaraland was a land in a far-away planet, in a distant galaxy. Just as Mario and Luigi had abandoned Earth, Daisy had abandoned Sarasaraland, all three in favor of the Mushroom Kingdom.
So many places out there . . . so many worlds. Mario's head spun as he thought about it for a moment. Zebes was another planet he had learned of. The Metroid species of jellyfish-like alien was native to there. The Space Junk Galaxy was littered with garbage that had found itself in gravitational orbits around things like planets and moons. So many other worlds out there . . .
But here he was, in one particular house, Princess Peach's castle, in the Mushroom Kingdom, in Fungai, the Mushroom World. This was the best place in all the galaxies of the universe to be.
Walking past the various paintings that lined the walls of Peach's castle, Mario decided that it was more important to bring revolutions of inventions to the Mushroom Kingdom, like the go-karts, than to go to other worlds. They had to be like teachers. There was so much to show the mushroom-people for their first time!
Within minutes, Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy were standing before a red-and-orange mushroom-shaped television set. "Here it is," Peach said to Mario. "The first fully-functioning . . . what was it called, again?"
"Television," Mario said.
"Yes, the first fully-functioning television set to be assembled in the Mushroom Kingdom. Let's watch some!"
Peach pressed the POWER button. In seconds, the black screen turned on and became a scrambled mess of black, white, and gray. Hundreds of small shapes were swimming about, while making the loud noise of static.
"Ooh! Umm . . . what's this one called?" she asked.
"Nahhh . . . it's only getting static," Mario said with a sigh. "I forgot. I gave up on this project. When was it, again? 3 months ago?"
"3 years ago, Mario."
"Right. Right." Mario sighed. "I could never figure out how to get reception working. I mean . . . I think the TV itself is OK. It just has no . . . you know. Satellites or reception towers to respond to. So it's useless."
"Oh, it's not useless!" Peach said to him. "We could call it . . . Shapes."
"It's all right," Luigi said, putting one hand on Mario's shoulder. "At least everyone in the kingdom owns a TV now. We'll get the reception figured out, somehow. Really."
Kreee-eee-eeen! came a loud, high-pitched noise. The static on the TV flickered off into total blackness. Then, a series of alien symbols and letters began to flood the screen. Circles, rectangles, triangles, and long ovals overlapping one another in a dozen combinations seemed to be the core basis of the alien symbols.
"It looks like . . ." Daisy said.
The alien symbols became, instead, the purple face of Tatanga, looking at the viewer.
Tatanga's face was far too thick to be a human face. His ears were as pointy as a perfect triangle, and as large as his hands. His eyes were enormous and black. His face wore the expression of a serious man who had spent countless years in battle.
"My name is Tatanga," the purple alien said in English.
A hushed silence had already taken over Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, and Princess Daisy. None of the four knew what to say or do next.
"I am from Sarasaraland, a planet off the edge of a galaxy many light-years from yours. I have challenged countless planets to conquest . . . and I have won every challenge. All the galaxies that know my name fear me. As the newest arrival in the Mushroom Kingdom, I hereby demand that you take me to your leader. Know this: whomever takes me to this leader shall gain my favor."
Princess Peach looked at Mario and said: "You had good timing, getting here right now!"
Mario nodded his head in agreement. "I did come here at the right time," he said.
"So, it's . . . kind of a good thing the landlord kicked us out?" Luigi asked him.
Mario shook his head: no.
"He demands to know where the leader is," Daisy said. "Who exactly does he mean?"
"My father," Peach explained. "The King of this kingdom, the capitol kingdom of the world. My father is the one he wants."
"Tatanga doesn't seem to know where to look," Luigi pointed out. "He's asking someone to take him to the leader."
"It's only a matter of time before Tatanga finds him," Daisy explained. "So many people out there. One of them will certainly tell him."
"There's not much time," Peach said. "Follow me." Peach led the way, followed by Daisy, Mario, and Luigi. Walking through the many doors, staircases, and hallways of the castle, Peach walked to the kitchen. Above the refrigerator, a cupboard contained just the right tools she now needed. Peach jumped up into the air, stayed put for a few seconds, and opened up the two cupboard doors. White and green veggies of various sizes and shapes rested in here, as well as glass beakers. She looked around, and in a couple more seconds fell back to the floor. She leaped up again, stayed put for a few seconds, and began grabbing things out of the cupboard.
"Here! Take these!" she yelled at Mario, Luigi, and Daisy, tossing the veggies to them to catch. They were not only edible, they were also vicious as weapons when thrown hard enough. Mario and Luigi stuffed three veggies away into a secret hiding place.
Princess Peach also retrieved a glass beaker from the cupboard, which she threw against the wall to break it apart. An orange door now became a part of the wall. Peach pushed the door open, to find herself, and Mario, in the middle of her castle.
"Come on!" she said, leading the way. "We have to find him before Tatanga's minions do!" So the three people followed her quickly.
Peach made a quick left turn, disappearing into a doorway. Mario chased after her, running into a hallway, followed by Luigi and Daisy, while all three followers were holding the combat veggies. As they both ran on, Peach opened another doorway and led the way to the throne room, where she suspected her father might be.
But Mario and Peach were just barely too late. Tatanga now stood before the King, holding the man up with a sword made of red laser light.
Mario gulped. "Please don't!" he yelled. "Take me instead!"
Princess Peach's father, the King, was perspiring. Tatanga turned his head, and glared at Mario. His face may have been alien in shape, more round in the head and face, and more triangular in the ears, yet Tatanga had an attitude like many men who had ruled in human history. Tatanga had both of his eyes fixed on Mario.
"Do you really wish to take his place?" Tatanga asked.
Now it was Mario's turn to perspire.
Luigi gulped. "Mario, don't!" he yelled. Daisy grabbed Luigi by the arm.
Mario and Tatanga were still looking each other eye-to-eye. At least the King was left alone now. Tatanga's minions - his servants, all dressed in gold and orange - were circling around the King at once with their weapons.
"Let the King go! Now!" Mario yelled. He quickly jumped up into the air, and, with gravity, he fell back to the floor, to land on one of the servants, knocking him to the floor. Wasting no time, Mario jumped onto the second of the two servants, rendering him finished in battle.
"Mario!" Tatanga screamed. "You have the attitude of a true warrior. But countless warriors have I slain as I have conquered the galaxies. Prepare to join them!"
Aiming his right hand at Mario, Tatanga blasted away with a red laser light, four feet in length, causing him to backflip away just in time. Luigi jumped over a red laser before it could strike him in the leg, and he thrashed his legs quickly while slowly landing from his jump. Both brothers continued to jump and flip and cartwheel away from Tatanga's oncoming barrages of red lasers.
"You'll notice I've made some adjustments to my mecha-armor!" Tatanga yelled at the two brothers. "I no longer have to hold a weapon. It's now a part of my suit! From the Toy Galaxy comes this unique concept!"
He had taken over the Toy Galaxy now?
Luigi jumped up into the air and landed on Tatanga, in the time he had taken to boast about his weapons. Mario and Luigi managed to get in several jumping attacks, before Tatanga was up on his feet again and firing away with his red lasers.
Mario took one more look at the King. He was safely walking out the door now. Thankfully, their work as his bodyguards had been successful. Quickly turning back to Tatanga, Mario yelled, "You'll never win, alien!" He hoped to distract Tatanga from the sight of the King leaving.
"How? How will you possibly beat me?" he yelled.
Mario pulled up the hidden combat veggie that he had stashed away between the red and black parts of his overalls. This combat veggie was all green in its upper half, and all white, with a black face, in the lower. Luigi pulled out a combat veggie as well, one much thinner than Mario's. "Aww!" Luigi yelled. "Why does my veggie have to be smaller?"
Mario threw his veggie at Tatanga, and Luigi did the same. Both kept in mind the finite, limited supply of combat veggies available. Each brother had a total of 3 to start with, or 6 total. With each brother having thrown one veggie so far, each one had 2 left to throw. They would have to be thrown wisely - never missing.
Bwow! came the sound of Tatanga's body getting struck by the veggies. Both plumbers had hit him successfully. Mario threw another veggie, a small one, and he missed. Luigi threw a big veggie, and hit Tatanga right in the torso. The spacelord was knocked back again, and both plumbers kept a mental eye on the fact that each one had a single veggie left in their supply.
"I'm not beaten yet!" Tatanga yelled, and now he began to fire away with green lasers, each one only two feet long, yet now being fired twice as fast as the first round. Mario and Luigi had even worse danger to run from now. They had to move as fast as they possibly could to avoid the incinerating touch of the lasers.
"Wait a minute! What happens to the walls?" Mario asked.
Luigi looked. Black charred marks were everywhere. They would have to figure out something later.
"If we want to pay our rent here . . . we would have to stop Tatanga," Mario said. So he looked back at the purple alien and threw his last, final veggie, striking him with another veggie. Luigi ran forth, throwing his own final veggie, and now both had to wonder what they would have done without them.
Yet Tatanga still did not seem to be beaten yet. He walked slowly, getting ready for yet another attack against the two plumbers. So there was one thing left to try. Mario and Luigi, both sensing what the other was about to do, sprang into action to grab Tatanga's two servants, dressed in white and gold, to throw at the spacelord.
Bwow! came the sound of Tatanga's body struck by his own servants. Finally, the alien seemed to be down.
"You beat me!" Tatanga yelled. "I can't deny it. You beat me . . . fair and square. I shall leave in peace now."
"Really? It worked?" Luigi asked. "Huh."
Tatanga walked to the skylight, the hole in the ceiling that allowed sunlight inside to reach the floor. Standing on that part of the floor, in that one beam of light from the hole in the ceiling, a white and blue beam of light overtook the entire area surrounding Tatanga's body in a three-foot radius. In seconds, his body was broken apart to pieces, and sent skyward. Then, the beam of white light died down to nothing.
"What just happened?" Luigi asked.
"Tatanga just left," Mario said. "His men beamed him back inside his ship. He's gone."
A moment of silence overcame the two as they wondered what else it was that they were forgetting to do. Wasn't there some other loose end? Some thing that they had started to do, but never finished, during the battle? Why couldn't either one of them place a word for it now? Neither Mario or Luigi could remember. "The King!" Luigi yelled. "We forgot to keep an eye on the King!"
The two plumbers ran quickly through the hallways of the castle, until they reached the front doors, which they kicked open to run outside. Running to the gray stone moat, over the deep-blue water, they were still chasing tirelessly after the King.
"Wait! Wait! Come back!" Mario cried out.
"You don't have to run anymore!" Luigi said.
"What? What?" the King asked, slowing down his run to a jog, already exhausted. "But I thought you said . . ."
Mario handed him a water botle. "Here," he said. "Drink this. Look - you don't have to run anymore. We beat Tatanga. Okay?"
"DID YOU, NOW?" Tatanga asked. Mario and Luigi looked skyward. A white cloud surrounding Tatanga's enormous spaceship was parted, using technology similar to leaf blowers and vaccuum cleaners. Once enough of the white cloud was parted to reveal the spaceship, they both understood the true reason for the shadows on the ground outside the castle.
"I falsified my own defeat, and my own surrender to you two," Tatanga said, his voice ringing through the air at dozens of times its own natural volume, due to the speakers embedded on the exterior of the ship. "Now I have your leader right where I want him. Time for beaming!"
"Uhhh . . . what's beaming? I'm afraid you'll have to explain this to me," the King said. Within seconds, an enormous white and blue beam of light was cast over the King, in the entire area surrounding him in a three-foot radius.
Mario and Luigi ran at the King, hoping to push him out of the way, but they were too late. Already, the King's body was breaking apart into pieces, and rising skyward, to be reformed inside the ship.
"I have your King," came Tatanga's voice. "I am taking over the Kingdom. All who oppose my rule shall be punished severely."
Princesses Peach and Daisy were running out the front doors of the castle, and down the gray stone moat to reach Mario and Luigi. "Wait! Wait up!" Daisy yelled.
By the time the two princesses had caught up to the two plumbers, both looked skyward and saw that it was too late. The ship was moving on, and the King of the Mushroom Kingdom had been abducted by an alien.
"What are we going to do now?" Daisy yelled.
"We'll save him ourselves," Mario said. "That's what we'll do."
"How?" Daisy asked.
"How? We'll find a way to fly. It's possible. We'll find some way, in one of these lands, to reach flight. But we must travel quickly!"
"Wait!" Luigi said. "We can't travel by foot. We'll never get there. What we need . . ."
"Are the go-karts?" Mario asked.
". . . Are the GO-karts!" Luigi said.
A minute later, two go-karts were driving down the gray stone bridge over the moat, carrying two passengers per kart, four passengers total. The four adventurers - Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy, with Daisy being the only one who had never yet run out into action, never yet fought enemies to save a land - were on their way to save the Mushroom Kingdom from Tatanga.
The adventure would start by driving to the Royal Raceway. It had taken a half-hour of driving to get to Peach's castle, using the Royal Raceway, earlier. Now it would likely take that same length of time to reach the next land over.
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Well, the first chapter is over. Soon enough, all four characters will be put to action.
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This story mixes together elements from several Mario games.
Super Mario Bros. - the Mushroom Kingdom setting
Super Mario Bros. 2 - Princess Toadstool being out and about in action, veggies
Super Mario Bros. 3 - the Mushroom World, global scale
Super Mario Land - Tatanga, Princess Daisy, Sarasaraland
Super Mario 64 - Peach's castle, name
Paper Mario - Mario and Luigi's modest, one-story house in the Mushroom Kingdom, a short distance from Peach's castle
Super Mario Kart, Mario Kart 64 - integrating the go-karts into the main world of Mario. The Royal Raceway (it leads to Peach's castle, right?).
Super Mario Galaxy - some of the "galaxies" aspect of that game, mixed with Tatanga