Disclaimer: I don't own "Spriggs: A Halo 3 Machinima." Running Gun Studios does.
AN: Also, in case you haven't figured this out by now, this is based off of the Halo 3 Machinima known simply as Spriggs. It was made by Running Gun Studios and is one of my favorite Halo 3 machinima; Red vs Blue is my second favorite.
If you want a summary of "Spriggs," you might want to check the website (), because I suck at summarizing this stuff.
Okay, now on with the craziness!
Chapter One: "Spriggs!"
"Spriiiiiggs!"
The furious cry echoed throughout the base known as Zambai Seven, drawing the attention of two other soldiers stationed there. Both of them looked around in alarm; Willy was apparently trying to kill Spriggs again.
"Why can't I touch you?!" the voice said again angrily.
Near the edge of the base, Willy, a soldier in yellow Mark VI armor, was standing on a rock, glaring at Spriggs and aiming a machine gun at him. Spriggs, also in Mark VI armor but colored red, looked up from his Mongoose at Willy for a moment. The incensed soldier had a look full of fury; Spriggs simply seemed amused.
Readying his gun, Willy shouted, "Die, you son of a b - !"
The rest of his sentence was drowned out by the sound of loud gunfire. Triple M, a green Marine in a Hayabusa armor permutation, heard the gunfire and rushed into Hammer's office quickly.
"My God," said Hammer exasperatedly as the Specialist arrived, "tell me that isn't Willy."
"I'd say he's up to automatics," said Triple M grimly, nodding.
"You have to go put a stop to this."
"Me? Why me?"
"It's your job," Hammer reminded him. "Chain of command, remember?"
"Bullshit, this is your mess," Triple M told him. This was perfectly true: Hammer was the Lieutenant and also the highest-ranking officer stationed at Zambai Seven, so handling this was supposed to be his responsibility.
Predictably, however, Hammer disregarded this fact and argued, "They're your men. I am not going over your head."
"You're the Lieutenant! I'm not even a Sergeant!" Triple M pointed out frantically, realizing his mistake a second too late.
Hammer took advantage of his blunder. "That's a good point. Let's rectify that, shall we?"
As Hammer turned to the microphone connected to the base's PA system, Triple M knew that the white-armored soldier had him cornered.
"Aw, crap…"
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"Attention," Hammer's voice came in through the PA. "Attention. Gentlemen of the Fifth Intergalactic Semi-Mechanized Infantry Battalion: It is my pleasure to announce the promotion of Triple M to Sergeant, effective immediately. Treat him with the respect you would show any other officer."
Of course, Willy and Spriggs wouldn't find out about this promotion until much later; at the moment, they were too busy fighting each other to pay any heed to the announcement.
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Turning the mic off, Hammer turned to Triple M, smirking. Triple M gulped. This wasn't going to end well.
Still smirking, Hammer ordered, "Now…Go stop your men."
In a vain attempt to get his way out of this, Triple M was reduced to simply saying, "No way. No way. No. Effing. Way."
"Do it," Hammer countered, "or I'll take a flamethrower to that collection of cartoon porn you love so much."
"For the thousandth time," Triple M reminded him, "it's not cartoon porn. It's called anime."
"Call it whatever you want," said Hammer dismissively. "It burns the same."
"I hope you die in a fire, Hammer," said the newly-promoted Sergeant angrily as he went to fix the "problem." Again.
Turning back to his work, Hammer said quietly, "Life's a bitch, M. Welcome to the officer corps."
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Wielding a rocket launcher, Willy jumped down onto his little "sniping" spot.
He watched Spriggs stop his Mongoose below the cliff and look at him, then he said, "It's been five years, but I fear, Mr. Spriggs, that we're coming to the end of things."
No response. Typical, Willy thought with malice. "Nothing to say, Spriggs? None of your classic wit or insults?" he said aloud. Still no reply. "Very well, then. As a personal favor, I promise not to maim you or anything lame like that if you just stand perfectly still…"
"What the hell are you thinking?" a voice asked behind Willy. Turning around, he saw Triple M, arms crossed and looking annoyed.
"I don't think, I do," Willy answered cryptically, exchanging his rocket launcher for a shotgun as he did so.
"What you do is make our lives miserable," Triple M retorted.
"Did you hear what he called my mother? That woman is a saint."
"So now you're going to come up with some wacky scheme involving – " Triple M counted them off on his fingers. " – high explosives, giant spinning blades of doom, the odd violation of the laws of physics, several tons of express delivery packages – " He stopped, his rant bringing something home.
"Speaking of which," asked Triple M, "how do you get all this crap anyway? I can't get a roll of toilet paper from HQ…and you get everything but the kitchen sink!"
"Nah, I got the kitchen sink, too," Willy corrected his superior officer. "I told him it was padding for the Hornet or some crap like that."
Triple M stared at Willy. "Who the hell did you blow to get all - ?"
"Classified information."
Triple M hesitated, then decided to get back to the matter at hand. "You know what? Never mind. Point is, it won't work. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it, but you're going to do it anyway."
"Already did it."
"Well, if you keep this up, you're going to lose it again," Triple M reminded him. "You remember what happened the last time you lost it?"
"No."
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It was just two days previously. Almost all of the vehicles were up in flames. One of them, probably a Mongoose, exploded, flew through the air in a ball of flame, then bounced off a wall and hit the ground with a crash.
Elsewhere in the base, Willy was navigating a minefield that he had set up when he stepped on a landmine that exploded upon contact.
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Willy paused. "Are you questioning my patriotism?" he asked.
"Quote: 'I'll burn you all to get that son of a bitch?' Unquote? " quoted Triple M.
"He was asking for it!" said Willy defensively.
"But you missed him and hit everything else!" yelled Triple M, losing his patience for a moment. Calming down, he ordered, "Listen, just put the rocket launcher down before someone gets hurt."
Willy grumbled in assent, "Maybe for once you're right - " But Spriggs chose that moment to drive past and honk his Mongoose's horn twice.
Willy, evidently taking this as an insult, spluttered for a moment before taking out his rocket launcher again and shouting fiercely, "I'll kill you!"
Dodging the rockets that Willy was firing at Spriggs, Triple M shouted, "Goddamn it, Willy!!"
Willy, however, had grown deaf to Triple M's pleas as he continued to fire rockets at Spriggs, each one missing their mark.
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"Look, I know we have a troop shortage," Hammer said through the radio, hoping Command would get this one, "but we need more men." That way, it'll hopefully be easier to restrain Willy… he thought. He snorted. He doubted that any amount of soldiers sent by Command would be able to hold Willy down; the former members of the Fifth weren't able to, anyway.
Looking out of the window, he saw Willy firing rockets at Spriggs again, with Triple M barely dodging them all. It took him a moment to notice that one of the rockets had flown astray…right in Hammer's direction.
Aw, crap, he thought just as the rocket hit its unintended mark.
Normally, this sort of thing isn't all that much of a problem; random explosions were kind of the norm around Zambai.
The only difference this time was that the room Hammer was in just so happened to be filled to the brim with very explosive equipment. Which would explain why the explosion was five times more powerful - and painful - than usual.
Hammer was sent flying, his terrified scream interrupted when he hit a wall. "I need those…Owwwww!" he cried in pain as he fell off the ledge that he had landed on.
Triple M looked at Hammer, who was visible even from where he was standing. He then looked at the incensed Willy and laughed slightly.
"Well, at least you didn't hit anything important."
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Author's note: Okay, this might not be perfectly accurate, but I did the best I could. Also, since this is my first fanfiction EVER, feel free to R&R, please.
If there's anything important that I'm required to add to it other than the disclaimer (like chapter summaries or whatever), let me know as well, because I'm slightly unfamiliar with doing this.
Again, Please review! The next chapter will hopefully come in as soon as I can work out the kinks (a.k.a. weird-sounding quotes).