Note : First one-shot in english, so please, tell me if anything seems odd, or strangely expressed.
Erik is about to leave so Charles says the only thing he must say. Repeats it, actually.
"You're not alone."
Charles does not say "I am", but he wishes that for once, Erik could read his mind. How he wishes to be understood and not to be the understanding one. He'd like to shout at Erik, to tell him that he betrayed him, that he's a traitor, and that Erik is the one owing him, not the other way round. He wishes for truth, but then, then Erik would probably leave.
And he can't afford it, can he ?
Ans he knows, he knows, of course he knows, he's a goddamn telepath, isn't he, he knows Erik will stay now. He knows that there is a kind of surprise and awe in the eyes of the man who thought he'd always be the lonely one and so Charles closes his eyes.
He doesn't want to see Erik's face as he makes his decision.
He doesn't want to see Erik.
In fact, he does not want to see anyone.
Does not want to care.
Or, let's be honest, does not want to acknowledge how little he really cares.
How much of it, how much of him is a façade.
He can't feel his legs.
Erik keeps silent, staring at him with brilliant eyes. A touch too brilliant, probably. Some water there.
And Charles feels furious.
Which right has he, which right has Erik to be sad ? Which right has he to cry ?
Rage consumes him.
And ironically, he understands Erik even better.
He wants to hurt him, to claw at his heart and pull it out, and leave it there, on the sand, drying to the sun.
Even he knows how childish it is, he wants to spit on him, on Raven, on all of them, to tell them how much hate there is in him, and yet, yet…
He doesn't.
And Erik stays, and bends his head to kiss him, taking his helmet off.
Charles wants to read his mind, to destroy him, remake him, rewrite everything, but yet, again, he does not.
He lets himself be kissed, feeling Erik tears on his skin, Erik who's breaking down in front of him, and all the metal is flying around, the others look nervous, and Charles thinks in a detached way :
"He might kill them as well."
But he does not do anything to stop Erik's power.
Instead, he kisses him back, reluctantly, against his own will, but oh, Erik does not notice, cannot read all the hate in his head, cannot know about his lack of concern, Erik who was the only one who might have understood him simply doesn't, and well, doesn't that say it all ?
"I love you", says Erik.
And Charles, even though it is a lie, says it back, and the metal stops flowing, and the others stop screaming, and Charles, Charles is still utterly alone.
'Cause he's the better man.