He perched against the tree with Jiraya's best selling novel in his hands. He never gets bored of Junko's seduction techniques. She is a goddess in shinobi world. But these days, he couldn't immerse himself fully in Konoua's best selling novel - Icha Icha paradise.
He wonders when did the restlessness start. He couldn't point at one incident. It must be the culmination of so many feelings , which were locked inside his heart.
He sighed, understanding that it's his own fault. He had always been the type to go search willingly for an obsession to forget the pain.
At first , it had been Icha Icha. His perversion really helped him forget about the mistakes he had committed and people he had lost. It might have only been for short period but it still kept him sane. He was fine with the way his life was.
But, life plays strange tricks on you. Right when you think , it's all over and there is going to be some peace left in your life, you realize your feelings and it shakes the very existence of yours.
An old man advised him, to get settled and get married to a girl , who would love him . He never wanted anything related to love and marriage . But, when he realized he might have second thoughts about it, he knew it's practically impossible to get the girl .
He couldn't even beat his new obsession with the old one. She always was in his head , moving behind his eyelids like a phantom. He might not point out when he was possessed, but he knew when it all started.
He was just some ninja, weighted down by his own mistakes and ghosts, who took in bunch of kids under his wing. As if , he could save them, when he couldn't save himself. He ran away from Naruto because he reminded him of past , Obito and Minato sensei . He ran away from Sakura, because apparently he was jealous of a little pink haired girl whose life was all roses and cherry blossoms . He should have been happy that at least one of the children wasn't messed up but instead he was jealous of the way the girl had no suffering in her life. He sympathized Sasuke as he saw himself in the boy , he felt like he owed Obito uchiha and he wanted to save the last Uchiha . He failed all three of them. All three scattered and he was left alone. He thought , Sakura would reach out to him for some kind of training even when she had Tsunade. He knew , he was a total ass to her but he expected her to reach out to him. But, she never came to him. She had always never requested anything from him. Naruto and Sasuke would ask him to teach them some jutsu but she never did. He would always give them some excuse and ignore but they both used to be so persuasive. She never had any expectations from him to begin with . She might have always looked like she was all hearts for Sasuke but she was always ears for Naruto. She was very rude little girl, who took out her silly frustrations on Naruto but she always had this devious look on her face that screamed " she agreed with blonde boy's naughty pranks ". He was an observant man and he knew for a fact that Sakura was nothing like the girl she projects herself to be. He never realized his little observations will turn into an obsession.
When he was asked to test Naruto and Sakura, he never expected them to become so strong. Especially, Sakura, the wailing, devious and arrogant little girl to turn out to be so strong that she could crack down the earth. He swore to God, his heart skipped a beat when she smirked at him, after she found him underneath. It should have been illegal to female teenagers to tease their teachers.
He started observing her growth , length of her hair, length of her legs, size of her waist, depth of her forest green eyes, pout of her lips, size of her forehead, extent of her rage. They were innocent observations. He was merely a sensei who was keeping track of his student's growth , changes in her appearance and changes in her emotional capabilities. It was completely innocent . In his defense he wasn't being his usual perverted self, he even kept track of Naruto's growth and mental health. But, deep down he was still a man , who might read Icha Icha , which is completely boobolicious but still be fascinated by subtle beauty like Sakura's. Her unevenly chopped light pink hair swaying with the wind, her tiny hands which could break a mountain, her unstable emotions, which keep changing every second. She had became a source of entertainment to him.
His eyebrows met his silver hair, when she proposed to Naruto. She surely adds drama in his dull life. He was sure she has a crush on Naruto , but nothing she couldn't forget . But, claiming that to be love is very cruel, when the man you are lying to , is madly in love with you . He then realized that Sakura was a kunoichi, who is not a seducing type but the manipulative type.
He watched over her as she slept. He took shot for her and bled. She healed him without a word and he felt warm inside his chest when she was pained because of his wound.
He felt proud of her when she killed Sasori. His heart sped when she gave him basket fullful of distasteful healthy cookies.
During war, he took her in his arms when she fell from the cliff. She supported him when he was about to fall. He loved when she looked at him with concern, realizing that he no longer had his sharingan. He frowned when she left him to dust , to express her supposed love for Sasuke. He saw no love from her side , the boy knew about it. He glared at her and talked cruelly to her in frustration of being a liar to him. He looked jealous especially with the way Sakura was with him and Naruto. After proclaiming love from top of the building to Sasuke, making him blush , creating some kind hope in him, the boy then realized that Sakura could and would live happily without him.
Kakashi shook his head with mirth. She was using the same old trick, she had used on Naruto. Little pink manipulative Kunoichi. He failed to understand her concept. She first tempts , tests the water and leaves up to them to choose. She's either way happy . She has got nothing to lose. They were the desperate ones, in need of love ,in need of family and in need of acceptance. She always uses all her pieces in the game. He truly was proud of her manipulative instincts.
She asks all her boys for team 7 dinner but forgets about him. Later , she realizes and asks him to tag along. He feels bad but complies. She flirts with the boys who show interest in her . She makes them waiting for her as she flirted , making Sasuke annoyed, Naruto wail , Yamato giving his ghostly looks to her suitors and him watching her with fascination. Whilst Sai stared at the conversation with peaked interest for the sole reason of gaining knowledge on human interactions. He never would have thought Sakura to be such a heart breaker but she truly is.
She frequently visited his dreams, teasing him and smirking at him . At the time of peace, nothing else much to do, he kept gravitating towards her. More often than not , he felt like seeking out her companionship. He wanted both romantic and emotional companionship from her and the realization is way too disturbing even for him.
He wanted his romantic life to be like ich icha paradise, only lust without love but it turned out to be some rom-com, in which he surely was a clown.