This idea came to me while I was taking a shower and it needed to be written. I will still write chapters for mates and mayhem. I have no life so no worries. I want to thank my beta for being the beta for this story. I don't deserve you. Thank you so much Kyariii
It's a perfect cloudy day, not too warm or too cold. The sun's light was blocked out by the puffy cotton candy like light grey mass in the sky. There was even a nice breeze that made the trees' leaves dance with each other in a swaying motion. The crows were cawing to each other while the other birds were chirping and singing their happy little songs. The sound of traffic was in the air. All in all it was a perfect day. Hopefully it won't go to hell until I get to lunch.
My name is Roxas Wolff, and yes my family is Norwegian. Ah anyway, let me tell you about myself really quick. I'm 5'7, and I have spiky blond hair that likes to change from golden to a muster yellow depending on the light in the rooms I'm in. It sucks. I also have bright, yet dark blue eyes, light tan skin that makes me still look somewhat pale... Okay we can just say I'm weird as hell. But what you're about to hear is going to get weirder.
I'm not like most guys. I'm not straight, bisexual, or gay. I'm not really sure what I am. I do know, however, that I'm Bi-gender. If you don't know what that means then I'll tell you with the actual definition.
"Definition: Bigender, bi-gender or bi+gender describes a tendency to move between feminine and masculine gender-typed behaviour depending on context."
That's me to a T. I knew I was always different because I liked to play dress up. But instead of wearing my father's clothes, I would wear my mom's dresses and make up. They thought it was cute when I was little, but as I got older and started to randomly wear skirts they took me to a psychologist. Let's just say they weren't happy when the psychologist guy helped me understand who I am. But as I was saying, I'm bigender and I cross dress only when I feel more feminine. Otherwise I usually wear skinny jeans, an overly large shirt, or my black hoodie. Hey, I like being comfortable.
Another thing you should know is that I have a weird fetish for guys that act like a child. I can't help it. It's the female side of me. When they act like that I just can't help but think about how cute they are and how I want to hold them UGH!
...sorry.
That's enough of that. I'll never find anyone like that anyway. There is this one guy I sorta like. He's completely perfect. He shouldn't even exist, that's how perfect he is. The guy is at the top of his classes. He has a PERFECT GPA. He's was also in many of the sport teams at my school; he ended up being captain of each team, but he only stayed for the season and never joined again even though he gave each team a winning streak.
He's also rebellious in his own way. If you didn't know that he was smart and athletic then you'd think that he was the school badass; which is sometimes depending on how his day went. If he's having a bad day, he'll skip classes, smoke outside, set trash cans on fire and even bully who ever gets in his way. He always wears black and dark red clothes with either black boots or black converse. He has bright, pure red hair. Not orange or anything like that, which in my opinion, makes no sense to call anyone a red head. And I'm rambling again aren't I? Sorry!
But, oh my god, he has these piercing cat like emerald green eyes with two tear drop tattoos on each of his cheeks. His skin is pale no matter how much he's in the sun; he doesn't tan or burn. He's tall, and skinny with defined muscle tone. And his voice is just, it's hard to explain. Every time I hear it, I groan internally from how it makes me melt. Did I mention he's perfect?
His name is Axel McKay and he is the guy of my current dreams. He also happens to be dating my best friend Xion. But before I get into that, let me say that he has dated plenty of girls. Most of them are my friends. This is how I know I have no shot with him because he only dates women.
Let me name a few examples. Tifa, Yuffie, Aerith, Yuna, Rikku, Lulu, Paine, and Aqua. These girls aren't at my highschool anymore because they graduated. He was a freshman at the time, three years ago, and they were all seniors. I only heard about the rumors about them through the gossip mill when I became a freshman when Axel was a sophomore.
The next few girls are my friends that dated him. The first one was my crush Namine. I'm not going to lie, I hated Axel then. But their relationship only lasted a month, and she said they never went farther than kissing. It was weird because Namine wasn't sad or hurt. She was happier and said that he helped her realize something. That's when my interest in the man first started. I guess something in me just sparked and flared to life and caused feelings to form for him.
The next was about five months later. He and Kairi went out for two weeks, and it didn't even bother Namine in the slightest. Again, just like Namine, Kairi said he helped her realize something, and then the next week she and Sora started going out.
Last year, my own sophomore year, he dated Larxene (after dating other random girls) for about two and half months. She was delighted and even got Namine and Kairi's blessing to date their ex. Larxene always went to me when she wanted to talk about Axel, and as she spoke I realized that I had stopped hating him and started to like him.
It was a sad day though, when they broke up. Unlike my other two friends, Larxene was in tears over it. You see, we were by my locker when the beginning of the end happened. I was putting my books away and was dressed as a guy (thank god!) Larxene was telling me how she planned to get pregnant so Axel would marry her. Unfortunately, Axel came from around the corner and heard her. He looked at her with wide shocked eyes. I was even scared for her because he abruptly spun around and quickly ran away. The next thing I knew, we were in my room; Larxene in my arms as she cried and told me about how he broke up with her.
She's fine now though. No grudge against Axel or anything like that. She's with some guy named Marluxia now and she looks a lot happier.
Now it's the first few months of my junior year and Xion told us that she has been dating Axel since summer break. That's five months and longer than any girl has ever been with Axel in this entire school. We don't know how it happened, but she did say she liked him ever since Kairi started to date him. I'm completely crushed. I don't want to hope that Xion gets dumped by Axel or vice versa; they look so happy together. But, I can't help it. I guess this is what being in love makes you do…
Today during first period, Xion told me that Axel was going to sit at our lunch table for the first time. I was feeling feminine today so I'm wearing a short black skirt, white and black checkered leggings, and my black hoodie. My eyes have black eye liner and I'm wearing a bit of blush to pop my cheeks out. I know that he must have seen me like that this before, but never close up. Fifth period is almost over and when that bell rings there is no way I'll be going to lunch. I'd rather let Seifer bully me in the locker room again.
Oh yeah I forgot to say that, because I'm bigender or well seen as a cross dressing homo, I get bullied. But, I can fight back, so my friends aren't too worried about me.
I sighed to myself, ignoring the teacher who was talking about lord knows what. I was currently staring out the window from the middle row. My chin rested in the palm of my hand as I contemplated what I was going to do at lunch. On one hand, if Axel sits with us, I can stare at him while pretending to stare at Xion; but then again, he might feel disgusted at me like most of the school does.
"Roxas?" My friend Olette, one of the few girls that haven't dated Axel yet, whispered to me.
I turned my attention from the window to the girl that was actually sitting next to said window. "Yeah?" I whispered back trying to seem normal when I was actually having an inner panic attack.
"You alright? You look a little pale." Olette was as sharp as ever. I could never really hide anything from her; besides the fact that I like Axel. I know she was concerned about me, but I didn't want to tell her anything.
"I'm just a little tired. I might skip lunch though. Can you tell the guys I'll be in the nurse's office?" I semi lied to her. She seemed to have bought my answer since she nodded and went back to paying attention to the lesson.
When the bell rang, I took my sweet old time getting up. I wasn't in a hurry to leave after all. I put my stuff away like I actually cared about my binder and text book being damaged. I could feel Olette's green eyes watching me quizzically. I don't know why she was waiting for me, but I had a bad feeling about it. I slipped my messenger bag's strap over my neck so it was on my left shoulder while the bag itself was on my right side, and strolled over to the door with Olette right on my tail.
"Roxas are you sure you're going to skip lunch? Xion really wanted us to 'properly' meet Axel."
I couldn't help but laugh at the way she used air quotes. It's true though, none of us beside Axel's ex-girlfriends have ever really met Axel. But I wasn't ready, and I was really starting to feel sick. "I'll meet him another time. It's not like I'll never see him anyway."
Olette hummed in agreement. I walked her to the cafeteria, gave her a hug, and trotted off to the Nurse's office where the lady, once again, wasn't doing her job. Nope, instead she was hooking up with the janitor in one of the many closets. You don't want to know how I know. But, let's just say that she is never mean to me like she is with the other whiners that come to her office.
I entered the small room, dragged my feet past the desk and into the separate, much smaller room where the beds were. I laid down on my side and curled up in a ball with my face buried in knees. The tears began to start flowing from my sleep deprived eyes. I was right when I said that this perfect day was going to hell. I was in pain. Yesterday, when Xion told us about her new boyfriend, I was in complete denial. But because they have been dating for so long, I knew that she may be the one he stays with. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her, but I can't help that sharp jab of envy and jealousy that I feel in my chest every time I pass by them in the hallway. They look so happy together every time I see them. Why… Why can't it just be me in Xion's shoes? Why can't it be me that Axel's hugging and kissing?
I sniffled, trying to keep the snot from leaving my nose. I was trying my best to keep my sobs silent, but a few sobbing sounds escaped from my mouth. My eyes were burning. The tears just wouldn't stop flowing at that point. It was practically useless to even tell myself to think of Xion's happiness; to think of Axel's happiness. It wasn't helping in the slightest.
I must have fallen asleep sometime during my crying fest, because when I woke up with heavy swollen eye lids, I found a leather jacket covering my upper body. I rubbed my eyes, thankful that my eyeliner was water proof but annoyed that it wasn't Roxas proof, trying to wake myself up and clear my blurry vision. I yawned and stretched until I heard my back pop.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes again. The jacket fell onto my lap. My eyes were still too heavy to see clearly so I blinked them a few times. "Where did this come from?" My voice wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It was a little scratchy, but it's better than being hoarse. The power of silent cries bitches!
"You're finally awake?" Someone asked from outside the small room. If the voice hadn't been so smooth, young, and sound like the deep sexy baritone voice of a man, I could've been fooled and I would've thought it was the lazy nurse.
"Who-" I started to ask but then a yawn cut me off. It was then that I began to wonder how long I've been asleep. The sound of a chuckle and boots moving across the ground brought me away from such thoughts. I blinked my eyes a few more times just as the owner of the chuckle stopped by the door.
My eyes snapped opened and widened. My jaw hung from the unbelievable cliché scene that could have only happened in movies. I wanted to smack myself just to be sure I wasn't dreaming. Standing before me was none other than Axel. THE Axel. 'Then that must mean...Oh shit this is his jacket!' I yelled internally, looking down at the jacket. I felt my face heat up from the embarrassment of having him finding me sleeping. Not only that but he saw me in a skirt!
"You're Xion's friend right?" He asked me, his head curiously tilted to the side.
I could only nod. But then my shy and insecurity dropped when he mentioned Xion and and being he friend. I know I said I liked the guy, but a part of me still hated him for dating all of my friends, save for Olette and the guys. Anger bubbled in the pit of my stomach. A wave of fury washed over me as I came to the realization that he might break up with Xion, just like how he did with every single one of my girlfriends, except for Olette. How do I even know that he will be loyal to Xion? Just because Kairi and Namine weren't affected by the breakup doesn't mean that Xion wouldn't be hurt and cry like Larxene was. He's a man whore or something.
I lifted my head and glared at him with these new thoughts in mind. He looked taken aback for a second, but then he raised a brow at me and crossed his arms. "What's with the attitude?"
"You better not hurt Xion like you did Larxene." I said in a threatening tone, my hands tightly gripping the leather jacket. My pulse was quickly speeding up, but whether it was from anger or from the fear of what he would do to me, I didn't know. All I knew at that moment was that I didn't ever want to see another one of my friends hurt and be in pain like that ever again because of this guy.
"Larxene?" He looked me quizzically. He then tapped his chin, as if he had to think about whom I was talking about. It just pissed me off. 'Does he not remember her?' I thought. 'How could Larxene could have possibly loved a guy like this?' He snapped his fingers, his left hand went on his hip, he leaned forward and with a look that told me that he remembered and he said, "Oh yeah that blond chick."
My eye twitched when he called her ' that blonde chick'. This had to be someone else. Whenever I saw him, he always acted differently from what I saw here right now. Then again, he could just be screwing around with me. 'Oh right, he's also a jackass on bad days.' I thought, as I rolled my eyes, threw his jacket at him, and got up to leave.
He rolled his own beautiful green eyes, and scoffed. "You really think I would forget her? I didn't mean to hurt her, but she was definitely crazy." He shook his head and crossed his arms again. "Anyways, I can tell by your eyes that you not feeling good was complete bull shit."
"Why are you even here?" I raised a brow, trying to hold back a yawn as I quickly changed the topic.
"Not that it's any of your business, but I came to pick something up from the old hag. Except, I found you instead." He clicked his tongue and spun around so he could head back to the outer room. I followed and trailed behind him, but only because it was the way to the exit.
I looked at the clock on the wall for the time and groaned. It was 3:45pm. "Fuuuuck." I groaned. I was supposed to be home by now.
Axel glanced at me from his place behind the desk. He kneeled down so I couldn't see him. I heard some shuffling and a few curses. I wanted to know what he was doing, but I needed to get home. I ran back into the other room, picked my bag up and then ran for the door. However, I had the honor of embarrassing myself by tripping over my feet and landing face first on the ground.
"Aha! There you are." I heard him say. He must have found what he was looking for. "What are you doing?"
"Oh just enjoying the cool hard ground." I grumbled and slowly got up. I fixed my hoodie and skirt. 'Oh crap! I forgot I was in a skirt! Please don't say something. Come on Roxas run.' I thought.
"Hey! Are you wearing a-"
"Gotta go!" I cried out, completely cutting off what he was going to say, and quickly bolted for the door with a blush on my face. I opened the door, and sped down to the open gates and ran home. I wanted to hide in my cave of a room for the rest of my teenaged life, snuggled comfortably underneath my warm blankets, curled up like a fetus.