Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi
Author's Note: This is my first Degrassi fic, so I hope y'all enjoy!
Summary: On a midnight walk one night, Paige runs into the last person she had ever expected to see again.
In the Streetlight-
-A One Shot
Paige let the moonlight wash over her, feeling warm under its gaze. She enjoyed this time of night. When even though the streets could be busy and filled, everything seemed to be still and quiet. When the sun went down and most got ready for bed, she would put on her shoes and walk. It calmed her, despite the cold at times, and she felt relaxed.
She had started her walks after her great fashion disaster that had left her with a simple gift bag and a cute pair of sun glasses. The pain, frustration, and sweat of those days had stayed with her, often keeping her up at night. So she began to walk, leaving the stress behind with each step she took. And soon her walks became habit, though it was now a year later and her current marketing internship was far less stressful.
She walked different routes, always knowing exactly where she was going, but varying it; to always keep it interesting. Her walks may have been routine, but that didn't mean she needed to see the same thing night after night.
Tonight, she walked down a street she hardly dared cross. The street held too many painful memories, ones that she rarely wished to bring up again; not when she tried to suppress them all.
Only when she really sought out a change of scenery did she venture down the street that housed Club Zanzibar.
When she was brave enough to walk past the club, she would pause briefly, not matter how hard she tried not to, and stare. The bight lights of the club sign would seep into her like poison and she would remember. Remember how Alex had once worked here and then she would remember anything about Alex. And then she would remember the constant dull ache that resided in her. An ache she had become an expert at suppressing. An ache that had taken root in her the night that she had packed Alex's bag and told her to leave. But then she would shake out of her stupor and quickly walk past the club, not stopping her increased pace until she was around the corner and she could no longer smell the smoke.
But tonight Paige was feeling brave; or so she told herself. But she had avoided this street for far too long and she was tired of passing by the same bench in the park night after night. So here she was.
The bright light of Club Zanzibar drew her in once again; like a moth to a flame. Her pace slowed and then she stopped, starring at the door; letting her mind briefly imagine what was on the other side.
The image of dim lights and poles was knocked from Paige's mind when someone ran into her back, making her realize that she had stopped right in the middle of the sidewalk.
"Watch where you stop," a voice snapped and Paige felt her blood run cold. She would never forget that voice. She turned slowly her eyes widening at the sight of Alex pushing past her.
"Alex—," her voice squeaked out, before she could censor herself. Alex paused and turned slowly, her eyes widening in disbelief at the sight of Paige.
Before Paige could realize what was happening, Alex grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the way of the door and the sidewalk. "What are you doing here?" she hissed, as if she had caught Paige in the middle of a drug bust. Not exactly the reunion Paige had imagined she and Alex would once have.
"I—I was walking," Paige managed to stammer out. A million questions ran through her mind. How have you been? What are you doing now? Why are you here? But then one question pushed its way to the forefront, when the lights of the club sign flashed across Alex's face. "What happened to your eye?" She blurted out, completely taken aback by the deep purple color that covered Alex's right eye and part of her cheek.
Alex crossed her arms and looked away. "You should go. You shouldn't be here." Before either could say anything else, Alex pushed past Paige towards the club door. For the first time in their brief encounter, Paige registered the big duffle bag Alex was carrying; a bag she had only seen her carry once before.
"Do you work here?" Paige nearly yelled, making Alex freeze.
Alex turned around, slower then before, her face void of all emotion. "You're the one who said I was better off as a stripper."
The words hit Paige like a punch to the stomach. Before she could respond, Alex disappeared into the club.
Paige picked her way through the crowded club, holding her breath against the stench of smoke and sweat. She didn't know what she was doing and she was certain that she wasn't thinking correctly. She didn't know why she had decided to follow Alex into the club, but she had to see. To know for sure, to convince herself that Alex wasn't stripping again; even though she knew it wasn't true.
You're the one who said I was better off as a stripper. She felt sick as the words ran through her mind again. Had she pushed Alex back to this hell hole with words she had spoken in a moment of frustration and stress?
"Paige?"
The blonde turned to see Mel standing before her, a tray of glasses expertly raised in the air.
Paige sighed in relief at the sight of a familiar face. "Mel," she breathed a sigh.
"Paige," Mel said again, setting her tray on the bar and walking over to her. "What are you doing here?" She asked, grabbing Paige's arm much in the same way Alex had.
"Where's Alex?" Paige inquired without preamble.
Mel sighed and quickly looked back to the double doors across the room. "Paige, maybe you should just go."
"No!" Paige said definitely. "Where is she, Mel? I want to see her."
Mel sighed and pulled Paige across the room and towards the doors. She cast a glance at the bouncer standing beside them her look clearly saying "she's with me" as she gestured to Paige. The bouncer nodded them through and then Mel led Paige into Paradise.
"Why are you bringing me in here?" Paige hissed as Mel pulled her.
"You asked," Mel replied. She sat Paige down at a table. "Do you remember how to get to the back?" Paige merely nodded, unable to formulate a verbal response. "She'll be done in a few minutes," Mel said, and then she was gone.
Paige looked around, feeling more uncomfortable than she ever had in her entire life. She was completely surrounded by men, all leering and gawking at the woman on the stage. The woman finished her dance and then a voice cracked over the loud speaker. "Please welcome to the stage, Lextasy."
Paige felt bile rise in her throat as the silhouette of Alex appeared on stage before coming into view. The last time she had been here, Paige had watched from the back as Alex had done her work, a safe distance away where she had hardly seen a thing. But now she was front and center and she felt awful. And yet, despite her sickness, Paige couldn't help but stare.
Paige had always known Alex was beautiful, long before she had even admitted she was attracted to her. And as there relationship had grown, she had made herself familiar with every contour of Alex's body. She had often thought she was an expert of that matter. Knowing the strength of her arms, the gentle curve of her hips, the rise and fall of her chest, the softness of her skin.
But this. This was unlike anything she had seen before. The way Alex moved; turns and stretches. It was exotic and different and beautiful…and nauseating.
Paige forced herself to look away, feeling violated for Alex. Feeling like she had trespassed on something that was not all that forbidden to her.
Minutes later, Alex was done and walking off the stage to the calls of the men around the room. Paige pushed herself out of the chair, swiftly moving around the room, running through the door and down the hall that Mel had showed her over a year before when she had last been here.
Paige burst into the room where the dancers readied themselves, causing the occupants to look up. Luckily, it was only Alex and another woman. But the look on Alex's face was anything but welcoming.
"What do you think you're doing?" she barked, marching over to Paige, once again taking her by the arm and pulling her to the far corner of the room. Paige huffed, tired of being treated like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
"I want to talk to you."
"About what?" Alex replied, knotting her robe tighter around herself.
"Why are you working here?" Paige asked.
Alex rolled her eyes. "Why else?"
"There are other ways to make money, Alex."
"You know, I really don't think its any of your business how I make my income," Alex said, her words sharp.
"Yes it is," Paige replied, even though she knew it wasn't.
"No," Alex bit. "It's not. But while we're on the subject, I should remind her that you're the one who thought I would be better off here. At least I'm working for something, right?"
"I wasn't serious, Alex! I was—mad."
Alex shook her head, pushing her fingers into her temples and rubbing. Paige waited for Alex to answer, but when she got nothing, her mind wondered to another thing that Alex had left unanswered.
"What happened to your eye?" Paige asked again.
Alex looked taken aback for a second, surprised by the sudden change of subject, but then her void expression returned. "Nothing is wrong with my eye," she said through clenched teeth.
And it was true, at least at the moment, her eye looked perfectly fine. But Paige had known what she had seen.
With every ounce of courage she had Paige stepped towards Alex, invading her personal space. She licked her thumb and reached up, pushing it just under Alex's eye and pulling it down; removing the make-up that had been there and revealing a small hint of purple. Alex winced at the contact.
"Oh?" Paige asked, smugly crossing her arms across her chest.
Alex's gaze turned icy and Paige was certain she could feel her blood run cold. "I fell over my end table," she said, and Paige had a clear understanding that wasn't all that had happened as a familiar memory buzzed through her mind. "I want you to leave," Alex said, her voice steady though Paige knew her well enough to know that she was controlling it. "Now."
"No," Paige replied.
"In case you haven't noticed," Alex said her voice dangerously low. "I'm working and I'm not allowed visitors."
Once again, Alex grabbed Paige by the arm, all but throwing her into the hall. "Sorry," she said, before slamming the door.
Paige sat on the street curb, doing her best to pull her coat all the way around her body for warmth.
She should leave. She knew she should. Every logical cell in her body was screaming at her to get up and walk away. But her stubbornness was winning out. She wouldn't leave. Not yet, not until she had talked to Alex again. She couldn't just leave her here; she couldn't allow her to continue working as a stripper. Not when she deserved so much better.
An hour later, Alex finally emerged from the club, tired and worn. Paige stood when she caught sight of her and waited. Alex looked up and her whole body deflated at the sight of the blonde before her.
"You've got to be kidding me," Alex murmured, without stopping.
"Alex--."
"What do you want?" Alex demanded, not waiting to hear the answer as she brushed past the blonde.
"I want to talk to you," Paige said, hurrying to catch up.
"About what?" Alex said, laughing in disbelief.
"You can't keep working at Zanzibar. I won't let you. I can't."
Alex stopped and turned so suddenly that Paige ran into her, sending the blonde backwards a few steps. "One year, Paige," Alex spoke slowly, her voice threatening and low. "A whole year and I've heard nothing from you. Then one night we bump into one another and suddenly you're the great St. Paige, come to rescue poor low-life Alex from the gutter. Well, news flash, I don't want your help."
Alex pushed off her foot and turned, doubling her pace as she walked down the street. Paige stood for a moment, dumb founded at the words Alex had spat at her, before she too took off, following in Alex's wake.
"Alex!" She yelled. A head of her she saw Alex shake her head. "You know, communication works both ways! You didn't contact me either," Paige yelled, her own pride forcing the words out of her mouth. She would be damned if Alex made it look like this was her fault, though something at the back of her mind told her that it was.
"Like you would have answered," Alex scoffed.
"I would have!"
She wouldn't have. But she would tell herself she would've…eventually.
"Oh please," came Alex's sarcastic response.
Picking up her speed, Paige caught up with Alex, falling into a fast pace beside her.
"You aren't going to leave me alone, are you?" Alex asked.
"No."
"Whatever."
The two walked in silence; Paige surreptitiously casting glances at her companion. She looked different, Paige decided, but very much the same.
Alex's features were the same, but sharper. And it was visibly obvious that the already skinny woman had lost weight, her clothes hanging loosely on her frame.
But her eyes, her eyes were the same. The same dark orbs that Paige had felt herself drawn too. That she had felt safe with. Safer than she had ever felt before, or had felt since.
And there it was.
That sudden draw, the force that was Alex, pulling Paige to her; something Paige could not deny. It all came flooding back, her memories tainted with the smell that would always be uniquely Alex. One after another flashed before her, like a picture book. She loved for her and cared for her and she always would, Paige knew; no matter how hard she convinced herself that she didn't. So how had they come to this?
Suddenly, Alex stopped and it took Paige a couple of strides to realize she had done so. Paige looked back and saw the raven haired woman leaning against a lamp post, looking far older than their young age.
Paige backtracked. "Why did you stop?"
"Because I really don't think you should come inside with me," Alex replied, tired.
Paige quirked her head and looked around, surprised to find that they were now standing outside the apartment complex that Alex had lived in with her mother. She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts, that she hadn't realized just how far they had walked.
She would have a bitch of a walk home.
"I thought you moved in with her mom's cousin."
Alex shrugged. "Didn't work out, so I moved back since I had no where else to go."
Paige stepped forward. "You could have--." The words hung in the air and Paige was hurt to see that Alex actually flinched.
"Please don't," Alex said, shaking her head. There was a silence and then suddenly, Alex's eyes brimmed with tears. She threw her duffle bag down and turned in frustration.
"Alex," Paige said, feeling her heart sink at the sight. She hated to see this woman cry.
"Go ahead, say it," Alex suddenly said, far louder then was normal. "I'm pathetic. I've taken every good thing that has come to me and thrown it away. So here I am, stuck home with my lazy mother and her good-for-nothing boyfriend; taking my clothes off every night so I can support them."
"Alex, please," Paige begged, stepping forward, feeling her own eyes brim with tears. "You're not--," her voice caught. "You're so much better--."
"You want to help me, Paige?" Alex inquired, tears dampening her cheeks. "Then leave me alone."
"I can't," Paige said, shocked by the amount of truth her own words held. This is what it was, why her thoughts had constantly drifted back to the woman before her over the past year. Why she wasn't able to get Alex out of her head. Because she physically couldn't get rid of her; Paige was shocked to find just how much she actually wanted to latch onto Alex and never let go; a realization far to late in the making.
"Alex," Paige whispered, taking another step forward. Tentatively she reached her hand and placed it on Alex's bruised cheek; far more gently then she had at the club. Alex bit her lip and averted her eyes as more tears welled. Carefully, Paige stretched up, placing her lips delicately on Alex's.
The kiss jolted something in Paige; certain that she had actually felt a shift in her body. She felt her own hand mold to Alex's face, trying to form it perfectly, as if the simple gesture could help this sudden connection.
God, Paige thought, How I've missed this.
Alex whimpered and then suddenly Paige was being pushed away. Her eyes fluttered open and she found Alex crying hard than before, shaking her head.
"Please don't."
"Alex, let me help you," Paige begged.
Alex shook her head again, "No, Paige. Not again," she choked out. "I'm not going to let you pull me from this place and then kick me back again when I don't meet your standard."
Paige felt the air leave her body at Alex's words. No.
"Goodbye," Alex said through sobs. She pushed past Paige, grabbed her duffle bag, and walked away.
Paige stood, dumbfounded and sick, unable to blink; unable to move. The broken look of Alex's face taunted her, dancing before her eyes like an hallucination. She felt sick, sicker then she had ever felt before, as the realization that Alex had once again walked away set in.
She stayed the whole night, staring at the apartment building from under the street lamp. Waiting. Waiting for Alex to reappear. But she didn't. She never did. And Paige wondered if she ever would.
In the early hours of the morning, when the cold had numbed her beyond feeling, Paige turned away and began her long trek home. As she walked, she promised herself that she would never take a midnight walk again. Never again. She would find another way to calm her body. Yoga, perhaps. Or pilates. Yes, something where someone else told her what to think and do; just so she wouldn't have to do it herself.
Paige walked on and the sun began to rise, blinding her with every step.
Author's Note: Well there you have it! I hope you enjoyed it. I may be writing a sequel but I'm not sure.
Thanks for reading!!