Author Notes:
1. Okay, so it's not entirely fan *fiction*. It's an essay that I kinda felt needed to be written.
2. I received no official permission to write this essay. The series "Hikaru no Go" and its characters do not belong to me. This work is intended as a humorous piece and no money was received for it.
3. Direct quotes are taken from episodes subtitled by Real-Fansubbers and from the manga as translated by AK OF TROY found at http://www.toriyamaworld.com .
4. Essay idea and title suggested by Tori Sakana.
A
Scholarly Analysis of the Age-old Question...
Is Go Sex?
by ReySolo
"You responded to me exceedingly well. Each of your brilliant moves made my body shiver in excitement more than ever before. And I feel proud that I could respond to you beyond the best of my own abilities. Thank you." Does anyone believe the speaker is talking about an ancient Asian strategy game? Well, believe it or not, he is. Strangely, Fujiwara no Sai, as well as many of the other characters in "Hikaru no Go," a manga and anime series created by Hotta Yumi and Obata Takeshi, seems to have an uncanny ability to make anything related to the game of Go sound more like sex than a game. While there are certain similarities between the two, including number of participants, level of enjoyment, and variety of methods, there are key differences that make it important to distinguish between Go and sex.
One obvious similarity between the two is the number of participants. As Honinbo Kuwabara states, "Go can't be played with just one person. You need two." Likewise, there are generally two participants involved in sex. However, sex can occasionally involve more than two people, or, at times, fewer; Go is rather restricted in that sense. On the other hand, while it is common for a Go player to play multiple different people in the span of even a week, a person with multiple sex partners in a week is usually viewed as depraved or worse. Also, sex between partners of the same gender is considered taboo in many cultures, whereas Go is quite often divided into gender-specific groups, especially in tournaments. Obviously, there are a great number of differences between the use of partners in Go and in sex.
Another apparent similarity between Go and sex is the enjoyment. Almost certainly most westerners would doubt that a mere game could give one anywhere near the level of pleasure that sex can bring. However, for some very devoted players, playing Go is more important than any kind of social or sex life. When replying to a female friend's question about whether he enjoys spending time with her, Ogata-sensei reveals, "There's nothing more fun than Go." Still, even though many people appear to deeply appreciate the excitement of Go, there are differences in the cause of the enjoyment derived from the game and sex. In Go, the pleasure is attained through intellectual stimulation, the challenge of looking ahead at the other player's moves to determine the most strategic hand. Sex, on the other hand, is almost entirely a hormonal pleasure, due to the body's positive reaction to external stimuli. Though both activities may inspire similar excitement, the basis of that exhilaration is entirely different.
A third, not so obvious similarity between Go and sex is the variety of ways in which each can be done. In Go, there is one standard way to play, yet there are also variations, including Speed Go, One-Color Go, and Blind Go. Likewise, sex has one typical position, but can involve various others, including those manners utilized when both partners are of the same gender. However, Go is most often played the standard way. Komi (the compensation given to white, since black plays first) may change from country to country or year to year, but the overall rules of the game generally remain the same in almost every official match and tournament. Sexual positions, on the other hand, are almost infinite, and some people are incredibly adventurous, not wishing to bore themselves with the same mundane movements over and over. Thus, the variations in Go do not truly compare with the diversity of sexual activities.
There are multiple other differences between the two. While both inspire pleasure, the goal of Go is to win the game, but the primary purpose of sex is procreation. Go can be played anywhere, including public places with many admiring viewers, whereas sex generally must take place in private if one wants to avoid legal issues. Also, more equipment is necessary for Go than for sex; either a goban and stones or a computer with a program installed is required. While sometimes special items are utilized for sex, nothing artificial is truly necessary. There are also numerous other ways in which the two activities are entirely different.
Given all these differences, one would believe that the average person would be able to differentiate between Go and sex. So why do the characters of "Hikaru no Go" seem incapable of doing so? Sai should not feel "ecstasy" after a particularly good game. Touya Akira should not be so obsessed with Shindou Hikaru to the point where "no matter who I'm playing I think of [Hikaru]. How [he] would respond to each of my hands." These uneducated people need to be shown an important fact of life:
Go. Is. Not. Sex.
Thank you.