Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides the idea for this story. I only borrowed the characters.

The doorbell rang. I stood up and walked towards the door to open it. Having pushed down the handle, the door flung open and a blood splattered thing stumbled into my corridor, spilling blood on my carpet and my shoes which are next to the door.

"What the - ," I yelled, but could not finish my sentence because this gross thing grasped my legs and slowly crawled up towards my arms to lift itself. I tried hard to push it away so it would stop covering me in blood.

But then, suddenly, awestruck, I realized that this thing was my first crush at school, the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor of my second year.

"Oh my - , Professor Lockhart," I cried while helping him inside, "What happened?"

He did not speak to me. He did not even try. His mauve-colored silk suit was drenched in blood. His wavy blond hair were glued to his forehead with blood. His fancy pair of leather ankle boots were dull and dirty.

I concocted a healing potion for him immediately. He groaned and his hands were quivering. Thank God, Ron was not at home. My first crush lying weak and feeble on the floor. Blood was pouring out of his chest.

Blood?

Blood!

I stopped day-dreaming and started undressing him. I undid those countless buttons of his waistcoat and his shirt, but then my further undressing of him was suddenly interrupted.

Professor Lockhart was wearing a corset.

I shuddered. My idol was wearing a corset!

"Not that handsome anymore, eh?"

"Ron! Dear Merlin! Stop bitching around and help me with this unbelievably tight corset. I am not able to open it by myself."

I did not even care about Ron watching me undress Professor Lockhart. He knows that I had once been in love with Professor Lockhart.

"Only if you give me tickets for the forthcoming Quidditch World Cup."

My face flushed red and I wanted to start yelling at him, but then Professor Lockhart's loud groaning pulled me back to reality.

"Alright, alright. Fetch my wand. His injuries are severe! Quick!" And off he went.

After an eternity Ron returned with something that turned out to be a piece of a broken broomstick.

"RON!" I yelled at the top of my voice. Once again he ran into a room and finally returned with my wand.

"Quick!" I cried and grabbed my wand from Ron's sweaty hands. I summoned a healing charm.