-1Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of its characters.
I'm Not Over You
Chapter 1
"Do you love me?" It was a simple question, so why couldn't I answer it?
"Are you going to answer me?" She looks really pissed.
"Of course, you know I do." Technically I'm not lying, I do love her.
"What I mean is, are you in love with me?" Crap
"Look, I'm too tired for this right now." I knew when I got home she would be waiting to have this conversation. It was inevitable that she would figure things out. I'm only surprised it didn't happen sooner.
"I'm tired too! Do you know what i'm tired of Alex?" Here it comes. "I'm tired of you! I tell you I love you all the time and you never tell me! You're always at that hospital!"
"It's my job."
"And when you are here, you're not really here at all."
"Look I'm sorry, but you knew what you were getting into when you got involved with me."
"It's been five years Alex! I thought you would change! I love you and I want to make this work, so I've called Dr. Hanson and requested a vacation for you."
"You did what? You are unbelievable!"
"This is your last chance Alex, please take it."
I do feel bad; she has stayed with me when she should have dumped my sorry ass. It is not easy to love someone, who is in love with someone else. I don't think that she realizes that is the real reason I can't completely commit myself to her. I have become a master at disguising my feelings. After I left Seattle and came home to Iowa, I tried to leave everything behind. There are some things that just won't go away in my heart or my head. Maybe I owe her the chance to change things.
"Okay, I will go away with you." It's nice to see her smiling again. It's been a while since she has seemed happy.
"Thank you, I promise you this is just what we need."
"When are we leaving?" I ask.
"In the morning, we are going to a wedding. It's not till next weekend but I thought it would be nice for us to take this as an opportunity for a vacation."
"I should get things packed then."
"No need, I already packed everything. I sent in the RSVP a while ago and have had this planned for us. "
"Great. Which one of your friends is getting married, my money is on Karen."
"Well, you would be smart to bet on her but the thing is that this wedding is not for one of my friends."
"A relative?"
"No, it's one of your friends."
"Wait, how can one of my friends be getting married? I would have known before you if people I practically see every day were getting married."
"The invitation came in the mail."
"Where is it?" She looks away from me and I know she is nervous to tell me something.
"I threw it away."
"Why would you do that?"
"I'm sorry; I thought if you saw it you would be mad at me for sending the response."
"It's okay; do you remember who was getting married? How about where it's being held?"
"The wedding is in Seattle, I think the groom was Mark Sloan. Does that sound right?"
"No, it can't be right." I cringe.
"You don't know anyone by that name?"
"Yeah, I know Mark Sloan. There is no way he would've invited me to his wedding."
"Why."
"The guy is an ass! He was my attending back at Seattle Grace, he hated me and I wasn't crazy about him either."
"Well, maybe he respected you." I can't help but laugh at her statement. It was absurd.
"Mark Sloan never respected anyone. Did I tell you that the guy is an ass?"
"Well I don't know but we are going to the ass' wedding."
Great, my girlfriend wants me to take her to Seattle so we can work on our failing relationship. She wouldn't want to go if she knew the reason it wasn't working was a girl from Seattle; a girl I'm still in love with.
"Let's get some rest, we have an early flight. I can't wait to meet your old friends."
"Yeah, me either." That was me, disguising my feelings yet again.