Disclaimer: I've been over this already…. must I do it again?
Spoilers: Nadda
A Note: well, it's raining outside and I've got nothing else to write. This came to me last night as I lay sleeplessly in bed at about, oh, two o'clock. Just some of my ramblings.
*a.l.
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Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
Catherine Willows knew that she would never get those four seconds back in her life. They had passed just like so many other things in her life, never to return again. She knew she had to do something, before time was up, but she just didn't have the motivation. She felt as if all of her work was for nothing, and everything just failed either way. But Catherine knew she wasn't a failure. Oh no, not that at all. But still…
The clock on the wall continued to tick the passing seconds.
She heaved a heavy sigh, and took another sip of the bland coffee from the pot. Greg was too busy to come over and make another cup, so she had to settle for Grissom's pathetic attempt to make some. And to tell you the truth, she would much rather have lighter fluid in her cup that this waste.
As Catherine emptied her cup into the sink, the chime from a clock somewhere in the break room went off and she jumped. She didn't bother turning around to see the new hour; it would just depress her more. Catherine knew it was time for so many things, but why could she do nothing about them?
Her daughter, Lindsay, was at home asleep. Catherine had seen her for about forty-five minutes today, and that was it. It was between shifts and she had gone home to shower and try and catch up on some sleep. Catherine had collapsed on the couch and was asleep when Lindsay arrived home from school. Her daughter knew better than to wake her sleeping mommy, and let her rest until the last possible second. Then, Lindsay woke her up to tell her that she had to be at work in an hour. Catherine took a quick shower and tried to spend some quality time with her only daughter, but forty-five minutes is not quality time.
Catherine remembered sitting at the table with Lindsay, trying to eat some makeshift supper that she had whipped up. This was no way for a mother and daughter to spend time together. Lindsay was at an age where they could do things together, just the two of them. But what exactly could they do with the little time Catherine had off of work? She blamed her self for this fact that her daughter was practically growing up without a mother, and without a dad.
With that thought, Eddie came rushing back into her mind. Eddie was dead, along with a little part of Catherine. He hadn't been her knight in shining armor, but he was someone that she loved, and now he was gone. The things that bothered Catherine the most was the fact that she couldn't even look his killer in the eyes, because she didn't know who he/she was. She knew Sara had done her best with the case, but there wasn't enough evidence to convict anyone. This tugged at Catherine's heart because she knew she would never have complete closure.
Her daughter seemed distant, her ex-husband was gone, and who's next? Catherine didn't even have to ask this question, for she knew the answer. Her farther.
If there were a breaking point for Catherine, it would be this that would push her over the edge. Her farther was not the man who had raised her in Montana, but some casino mogul living here in Vegas – who had only committed murder. Catherine shuddered at this fact remembering when she tested his blood against hers, and there were similarities between them. How could this happen to her? Her life was just starting to make sense, and everything has to come crashing down again.
Catherine buried her head in her hands as she felt a silent tear run down her cheek. No, she was not going to cry here, not now. She may be at rock bottom, but once someone is there the only place to go is up.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
The clock continued to tick away seconds from her life. Catherine lifted her head and looked around the room.
How could I have lost all of this time? I could have had my life back on track by now, but what have I done? Wasted it away. She thought pathetically. Wasted it away like it didn't matter to me anymore.
"Well, it does matter." She heard herself saying aloud. "And I can't waste it anymore. It's my life, and I need to do something with it other than sit at this table wallowing the seconds away." Catherine stood up and walked out of the break room and down to Grissom's office. He sat there at his desk, deep in thought.
"Grissom, I've got some things to do…before I loose anymore time. I'm going home." she said and turned and walked in the opposite direction leaving him there to stare at her walking away.
Catherine made it home in record-breaking time, and made her way to Lindsay's room without even thinking. She was surprised to find her daughter sitting up in bed, staring out the window. "Lindsay?" she called, walking over to her. Lindsay turned towards her mother.
"Lindsay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything." Catherine took her daughter into her arms and stoked her hair gently. "Things might not have gone our way recently, but I've been thinking. I think it's about time we do something about that."
A clock from down the hall chimed the next hour, but Catherine didn't feel like she was loosing any more seconds from her life.
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Well, now that that is out of my system…
Did you like it? Did you hate it? Are you in tears right now because of it? Are you trying to figure out exactly why you read this story? Well, tell me then! I'm not a huge fan of short stories, so please tell me what you are thinking…
*a.l.