The Destruction of Severus Snape
-1I never knew a living man could be so dead. Professor Binns was boring my brains out, not that I was paying particular attention. I was too busy staring at the back of Severus Snape's head. There was nothing wrong with the fact that Lily Evans had just sat down next to him. Sure she was a Gryffindor but everyone knew they were friends, right? I wasn't so sure because five minutes into the class their knees were touching under the desk. I had almost convinced myself it was nothing when Snape slipped an arm around her shoulders. Okay, so he likes her. I bet she's really uncomfortable. I had to know, so I went to the front of the room to borrow parchment from Maddison. I froze on the way back to my desk. Lily was snuggling up against his shoulder with a disgusting simper on her face. "Something the matter, Miss Cole?" Prof. Binns dry voice cut in and I headed reluctantly back to my desk. Snape didn't even look up as I walked past. Resuming my seat I glared at the back of Lily's head and wished all kinds of death on her. No, I thought. No, I shouldn't. She obviously makes Severus happy. I tried to content myself with this knowledge but something wasn't sitting right with me; and it wasn't just jealousy. I mean yeah, she stood up for him against that jerk Potter and his two gorgeous friends, oh and their pet, what did they call him? Wormtail? Professor Trelawney had always credited me with a very active sixth sense and right now it was screaming all kinds of doom about Lily. I forced myself to look away when Snape started tracing little patterns on her shoulder. Lucky bitch. I couldn't stop myself from growling inwardly.
Miraculously I came out of the class with a full set of notes, my hand at least must have been paying attention. Our classes were split into houses for our next subject and I caught up with Snape after trying to ignore that he kissed Lily on the cheek before she left. "Severus?"
"Yeah?"
"What was that?" I asked incredulously.
"What?"
"You and-and Lily. I mean is it close friends, or couple?" Snape walked on and shrugged.
"What is that supposed to mean!?"
"It means I don't know." He snapped at me. "Why do you care anyway?" He was haughty now and didn't notice the blush crawling into my face. "Well, she's a Gryffindor and…I don't know. I just have this horrible feeling like something's going to go wrong."
"Erika, leave it. It's nothing to do with you." Snape's stride grew longer as he hurried to transfiguration.
"There's no need to get annoyed Severus! I'm just trying to look out for you." Matching his stride I was determined to make my point. "I don't need you to look out for me." He sniffed and swept into the classroom. I wondered if maybe Snape wasn't the one I should have been approaching.
"Excuse me, Evans. May I have a word with you?" James Potter, along with all of Lily's friends glared at me suspiciously. "Er, sure. Cole, is it?" I nodded and led the way out of the Great Hall with Lily following. "What is it you'd like to talk about?" I was impressed at how cool she was. Without doubt she wanted nothing more than to return to the safety of her friends and yet she seemed perfectly calm and polite about the situation. "Look Evans-" I got tongue tied. I had been thinking about what to say all afternoon and yet now I was having difficulty finding the right words. "It- It's about you and Severus. Are you like, y'know, a couple?" Please say no. Please say no.
"Um…to be honest Cole, I don't really know." I could not believe that she was blushing. "I-I like him and everything but…"
"But what?" I tried to keep the danger out of my voice.
"But I'm worried about him. He hangs out with boys that…well no offence to them but, they're prime candidates to be Death Eaters. I'm afraid of Severus joining that side." Okay, not what I had expected.
"And…I feel that he bites his tongue around me. I'm sure he almost called me a-a you-know-what the other day." I am so out of my depth right now.
"Erm, Evans? Why are you telling me this?" Lily looked up at me suddenly and seemed to remember who I was. "Oh, sorry. It's just, I think you care about him too," Understatement of the year, "and no one else I know will even pretend to like him for my sake so I kind of unloaded." Oh Salazar! She's relating to me. Get Out Of There Now! I was screaming at myself. There was no way I was going to be friends with Lily Evans! I panicked. "Look here Evans, I don't care what he may or may not have called you or whether your friends like him. I have had my eyes on him for a long time and I'll be damned if you are going to get him. Besides, I have a bad feeling about you. I don't know how or why but you are going to hurt him, even if you love him you are going to hurt him. I couldn't stand to see him damaged any more than he already is, so gods help me, if you do hurt him you will pay!" My face burned with self conjured rage. I was yelling a private conversation very loudly and very nearly reduced Lily to tears. She turned and ran, presumably to her common room, just as Snape himself emerged from the Great Hall. He saw Lily run away and rounded on me. "What did you say to her?" He demanded angrily.
"It's nothing to do with you." Echoing his words from outside the History of Magic classroom, I tried to stride away dramatically but Snape caught my arm. "What-Did-You-Say-To-Her?" Eyes narrowed dangerously, Snape was almost snarling at me. "Ask her yourself if you're such good friends." I snapped, shrugging off his hand and storming away.
The next morning I was standing outside the potions classroom talking to Maddison, waiting for Slughorn to let us in. As well as some students from my own house, a few of the Gryffindors who shared our class had already shown up. I noticed Lily was refusing to look at me. Out of the blue, Snape came stomping down from our common room completely devoid of his usual grace. "Hey Cole! What is your problem!?" Grabbing the front of my robes he started to drag me away from the classroom. I looked pleadingly at Maddison but she was too scared to rescue me. "You have no right to talk to Lily that way!" He growled. All eyes jumped scandalously to Lily before Snape pulled me into an empty classroom at the end of the corridor. He murmured some spell I didn't recognise before he continued to yell at me. "Who do you think you are!?"
"I - Severus I-"
"It is not your place to play matchmaker understand!? If I ever hear about you talking to her like that again I'll-" The classroom door opened just as Snape drew his wand and Slughorn glared at him with a ferocity I didn't know he had. "Mr. Snape! I can not believe what I see!" He seized Snape roughly by the wrist of his wand arm and yanked him away from me. "Exemplary potions student though you may be, I can not accept this kind of behaviour from anyone! Threatening, not just another student, but a member of your own house? What were you thinking!?"
"Please Professor-" I tried to interject. Angry and frightened as I was I did not want to get Snape into trouble. "Don't worry Miss Cole, everything is under control now." How chivalrous. I thought with as much sarcasm as I could possibly muster. "No Professor, there's been a mistake." Snape glared at me with pure venom but I continued. "Snape here was helping me with my Defence Against The Dark Arts skills. I've been having a little trouble with defensive spells."
"Miss Cole, the other students told me Mr. Snape charged down the hallway yelling abuse at you." His eyebrow raised sceptically and his walrus moustache twitched. "Sir, we students have a tendency to over exaggerate events. Entertainment and storytelling, you understand. Yes, Snape was a little sharp with his address earlier, but I had forgotten our arrangement and he was annoyed at me. Forgive us if we scared you." Assuming a pair of round, pleading, innocent eyes I held his gaze. The worst of the harshness left him and he let go of Snape's arm. "Warn your friends about the dangers of over exaggeration." He grunted and stood back waiting for us to file out first.
"This changes nothing." Snape hissed in my ear as I passed him.
I didn't have an opportunity to talk to Snape or Lily for the next few days. In fact I barely spoke with Maddison and she was my best friend. We were all burying ourselves in textbooks, studying and taking our OWL exams. Thankfully it was our last one, Defence Against The Dark Arts. In truth I was more than capable in that subject but it was the only one I could think of at the time that would explain Snape raising his wand at me. It had been hard for me to concentrate during the test, that dork Pettigrew or Wormtail or whatever, had insisted on scuffing his shoes off the floor the whole way through the bloody test. Not to mention he kept trying to glance at my paper, useless little cheater. I couldn't see Lily from where I was sitting but I was determined to talk to her afterwards. Maybe if I apologised to her Snape would realise I just wanted to stay close to him. Snape himself was doubled over his paper scribbling away. After Flitwick almost killed himself gathering the papers I headed for the door immediately, I would catch Lily on the way out. Sure enough Lily came breezing out with her friends, all chattering away about the paper. "Excuse me, Evans?" I could hear the tremor in my voice. Good, it could help. "I won't ask you to leave your friends but may I talk to you…again?" Lily glared at me, I suppose she was entitled to. "We're going outside to cool off. You can come if you like." The chill in her voice was all the 'cooling' I needed but I followed silently anyway. We stopped at the lake edge and her friends backed off a little, chatting animatedly trying to ignore us at least in part. "L- Evans. I am really sorry. I was thinking about what I said to you and I realised that I was way out of line." Lily continued to look at me with an expectant look. She was wondering where this was going. "Trust me I don't expect us to be chums but, I'm sorry. Forget I said anything to you." I think she was about to say something when a shout distracted us. "Impedimenta!" Sirius Black. I glared as hard as I could and, with a strange mix of surprise and satisfaction I noticed, so did Lily. Black was handsome and everything, even Maddison had been eyeing him hopefully during the exam, but nothing excused anyone who tormented Snape. James rounded on him next, "How'd the exam go, Snivelly?"
"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," I lost the rest of Black's comment under my own growl, Lily tore her eyes away for a moment to glance at me. Snape lay panting on the ground. "You - wait," I could hear his loathing despite the whispers of the on looking students. "Leave him alone." Lily hissed quietly beside me.
"Wait for what? What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?" Snape's replying swearwords and hexes were…colourful. My stomach lurched when James stepped forward, wand raised. "Wash out your mouth," He said coldly, "Scourgify!" I started forward but Lily grabbed me, held me back, and stomped into the throng herself. "Leave him ALONE!" She yelled as Snape gagged on pink bubbles. I didn't care what she or James had to say to each other and I wondered whether or not I should help Snape. He was already annoyed at me for covering for him once, I decided that Lily could take this one. Suddenly Snape grabbed his wand and Black's warning came too late. Two flashes of light later and James was bleeding from the side of his face, and Snape was dangling upside down. My hands jumped to cover my horrified gasp. Why didn't I help when I had the chance!? And James wasn't even the person I was annoyed at most, Lily had struggled for a moment not to laugh! "Let him down!" She ordered James, who obeyed, but the moment Snape was free Sirius was on top of him. "Petrificus Totalus!" This time I tried to help him, tears in my eyes at his pain, but the ring of jeering students wouldn't let me past. I heard Lily shouting "LEAVE HIM ALONE!" as I struggled, trying to get past everyone, when they all suddenly fell silent. It was Lily's voice I heard next. "Fine, I won't bother in future. And I'd wash my pants if I were you, Snivellus." What is going on!? I couldn't understand why Lily would suddenly turn on Snape. The crowd cleared a path and Lily stormed past me, red faced with angry tears in her eyes. Suddenly Snape was upside down again and James was shouting, "Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?" My own rage resurfacing I pushed through the gap left in Lily's wake.
"Petrificus Totalus! Impedimenta!"I roared at Black and Potter in turn. Gently I let Snape down, forced his wand into his hand and dragged him away before he could protest or Potter and Black could recover.
"Severus? Severus?" I had managed to get him into an empty dorm without rousing any more suspicion than necessary. "Severus, what happened?" No matter what I asked him he refused to answer. He would just stare and the floor with loathing, his lips and eyebrows trembling, he was so tense. Then I knew, my sixth sense took over for a moment and I could see straight through his clouded eyes. He was damaged. Irreparably and irreversibly, Severus Snape was a broken man. I draped my cloak over him, it didn't seem like he was going to move for the rest of the night and I doubted anyone was going to bed. Everyone celebrated with an all-nighter after their last OWL. Standing in the doorway I looked back at him, possibly as heartbroken as he was. "I'm sorry, Severus." I didn't know why I was sorry. For some reason the whole thing felt like it was my fault, like I had destroyed Severus Snape. "I'm so sorry."