Chapter 1

It should have been a glorious new beginning, one filled with happiness, joy and spawning great celebration; it should have been the start of a wondrous new life, in a new world with the man I had come to love. I should have run into the bustling city crowds, my eyes taking in new yet somehow familiar surroundings; my lungs should have expanded as they breathed in the crisp, clean air that smelled as fresh as the breeze after a good rain on a beautiful spring day.

All of that should have been, but it's not the way everything unfolded.

When the time came to make our way to the surface Bochra and I left together, though we were both escorted by security, thankfully it wasn't Aev; I doubt he could have restrained his itchy trigger finger long enough to get us anywhere in one piece. Tomalak had already gone on ahead or so we assumed, though to be perfectly honest it was difficult to fully push the commander out of my thoughts. At some point, we were sure to cross paths, likely while he pled his case to the general, insisting that he hadn't done something as heinous as he had been accused of.

In fact, he hadn't. To keep quiet or fess up; did I want to find a whole heap of trouble that I'd likely never be able to escape or allow Tomalak to suffer severe ramifications for a crime he had never committed was my choices. My mind was working and overworking during our transport, the ideas falling away as my body dematerialized, floating back once I had been reassembled, and finding that Bochra and I (and the security guard) were standing just inside the main capitol building on Romulus.

Scarcely a second later and the guard nudged me from behind, signaling me to move ahead, Bochra too. As we moved, I allowed my eyes to move here and there, taking in the sights. The halls were large and wide, ceiling high and painted to look like vast star fields, the floor seemingly made of marble stone with a glossy finish. The entry point to one room was open as we passed, and inside I could see a large, circular room with a map of what looked to be Romulan space etched into the floor, a hunter green banner hanging along one wall, a large mogai bird, clutching the twin worlds in its talons, in black and gold, embossed on the front.

When the general first approached, my steps dramatically slowed, and then I stopped dead, completely in awe of him. Under different circumstances, he probably would have made me feel ridiculously intimidated, but I just couldn't bring myself to feel that way. I very nearly had to grab onto Bochra, before I jumped forwards and wrapped my arms around the general, thanking him for believing in me when I was so young and for allowing me to, finally, come home. After I thanked him (I barely managed to hold off on the hug) he escorted me and Bochra to a private conference room where the first of many conversations had begun.

However, it was all too soon that my "little" fib had finally caught up with me, forcing me to choose between telling the truth (all of it) or continuing to live the rest of my life in a lie. It wasn't long before I had finally come apart at the seams.

...

Ael could scarcely remember a time when she had been so joyful (unless one counted her finding Bochra), her current location on the world she had always deemed her home, seated in a very comfortable leather chair and scooted up to a long conference table, Bochra beside her, all the while having an engaging conversation with General Movar, a man who Ael had not seen in over a decade but who had believed her claims from the first time he had ever laid eyes upon her.

The conversation had begun with General Movar formally welcoming Ael to Romulus, and Bochra home again after a lengthy tour of duty, the talk moving right along, mostly thanks to Ael who found she had plenty of questions to ask about her new home. If she wasn't asking about the various sites to see, she was firing off questions about Movar, coming across as little more than an overexcited child who had indulged in too many sugary sweets. It was difficult to know when to stop, Movar, after answering a question concerning horses and whether or not Romulus was home to a similar creature (it was!) turned the topic to another direction, one that centered around what Ael hoped to do with her life, now that she was home, as well as what her future aspirations entailed when it came to service to the Empire.

"I hope to be considered worthy enough to serve in the military," said Ael. "I've even thought of attending the Imperial War College."

"You certainly don't lack the perseverance for such an endeavor," said Movar. "However, the War College may be a bit beyond your reach, at least for now," he finished diplomatically. The Imperial War College was for the absolute best of the best, the program a grueling one, those who sought to attend in training for it by the time they hit their teenage years. Ael's slightly sad, though understanding smile told Movar that she knew attending such a place was only just a pipe dream, nothing more.

"One of the smaller military academies would probably be best," said Ael, momentarily thinking of Tomalak; he had said similar words to her, during the course of their meal when they had been speaking of Ael's future within the Empire.

"Indeed so," said Movar, momentarily glancing at a PADD on the table, making a quick notation before placing the item back down. "As already noted, you have the required determination, but additional training, before registering for any of the academies, is a wise idea."

"Yeah, I'm a bit behind on training," said Ael, feeling somewhat embarrassed. How could she ever hope to enlist in the military when she was a good decade (or more) behind in training than everyone else her age on Romulus? In fact, she should already be two years into her Serona, the five-year, mandatory military service that everyone on the home world underwent, once they reached young adulthood. The thought now squarely in the forefront of her mind, Ael decided to proceed with asking.

Movar inclined his head as if considering her request, saying, "It wouldn't necessarily be out of the question, Ael. Time will tell if it is meant to be. Due to this unique circumstance, there is the very real possibility of a Serona period being bypassed, allowing for your enrollment into one of the various naval academies."

As far as Ael was convinced, she would make it to one of the academies within the next few years, Serona or not. She had determination, passion, perseverance, and heart; if Ael gave it her all, what could dare stop her from succeeding? Only time would tell, for that, too.

Eventually, as she had feared might happen, the topic switched gears, the new subject turning to the incident that Ael had reported to General Movar, over three days past, a lie he still wasn't aware even existed, still fresh in Ael's thoughts. For the moment, the talk of Ael's aspirations had come to an end, but more than anything she wished them to continue, anything to avoid talking about the one thing she longed to forget.

Anything but this topic, please, thought Ael worriedly the smile she had been wearing for the first part of her meeting with General Movar, vanishing in a flash, a horribly sick feeling beginning to rise up from her stomach, into her throat. Reaching over to Bochra, Ael grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly, the simple act allowing him to feel an intense, sudden surge of uncertainty within her spirit though he had been able to sense her anxiety levels rising before she'd touched him. The beginnings of panic beginning to take hold Ael's gaze flicked to Bochra's, begging him, silently, for any reassurance he could give her.

Not even a gentle, intimate caress from Bochra's mind to Ael's could calm her; Ael felt helpless as she listened to General Movar recount what she had told him, her mood taking a further nosedive when her mentor made mention that Tomalak was already, currently in holding.

I should be the one in holding, thought Ael miserably. I'm the idiot who lied. While I know I should speak the truth… What will the general do to me, if I do? If the general finds out how I've deceived him… Maybe I should ask another question or two, see what the worst that can happen, really is, before I go and do something that could get me and Bochra in deep trouble, too.

"General," said Ael, clearing her throat against the child-like squeak that had come out instead of a clear, precise tone, "if it's all right to ask, what's going to happen to Tomalak?"

General Movar fixed Ael with an intently serious expression, lifting a brow in curious intrigue. No longer was Ael's tone full of happiness, confidence; how could she have suddenly slipped into a meek voice, her stare conveying that she had something of importance to say yet couldn't quite find the words to speak?

"At this time, Ael, I am unable to give you an absolute answer. However, Tomalak may remain in service to the Empire until his tour has been completed, though he will forfeit his command. The senior centurion…"

"He… He's demoted?" Blinking hard Ael struggled to come to terms with what Movar had said. "Sorry for interrupting," said Ael, a hint of red appearing in her cheeks, "but, um, you said he may stay in service. Does that mean he may be forced to retire?"

"Possibly," said Movar. "Tomalak will have to answer for his crime against you, a crime that I take with the utmost seriousness. Imprisonment is a firm possibility, as are…other avenues."

He means execution, thought Ael, her mouth rapidly turning dry, beads of sweat dotting her forehead and coating her palms even though the air in the room had, only moments ago, felt quite comfortable and cool.

"Whatever decision comes to pass, I give you my word that it will be fairly decided one," said Movar upon glimpsing the sudden, sickly look on Ael's pale face.

It was with great difficulty that Ael knew what had to be done: she had to tell General Movar the truth about the lie she'd told, how she had falsely accused Commander Tomalak of a crime he hadn't even thought of committing, all because of a petty need for vengeance. Fear gripped Ael's heart, her thoughts churning wildly as she thought of the best way to begin her admission; she also began to speculate on exactly what Movar was likely to do to her, for the deception. There was a brief but visible shudder through Ael's small form when she remembered the dream, rather, nightmare she'd had while on board the Decius, only two days past. The thought of Bochra being killed in front of her; the thought of her mentor turning his pistol on her, firing without second thought… It was nearly enough to glue her mouth shut.

Stealing a quick glance at Bochra out of the corner of her eye, Ael saw him give a subtle shake of the head, his foot nudging hers beneath the table, sending a silent warning not to do anything, further, foolish. Could Bochra not want her to tell the general what she'd done? Was he sending her a different signal altogether? With Movar right in the room, sitting directly next to her Ael was unable to ask Bochra exactly what the (possibly) warning signals were all about, but warn her away or not, she had to confess, didn't she?

If you don't, the guilt is going to eat you alive, something in the back of Ael's mind whispered.

Maybe just one or two more questions…

"If Tomalak goes on to complete his tour, what happens once it's finished with it?" The tides of nervousness that Ael had been trying to keep out of her speech, involuntarily slipped into it; Bochra momentarily looked pained where he sat, beside Ael. Her emotional state was becoming highly charged again; Bochra hoped he wasn't going to be on the floor, curled up and clutching his head at some point soon.

The quiet, anxious manner in which Ael was now speaking was enough for Movar to place down the PADD he had only, momentarily picked up, his hands folding and resting on the tabletop as he fixed Ael with a questioning stare. Ael felt more intimidated than she ever could have guessed she might at this meeting; the expression on Movar's face clearly told her that he knew something was "up".

"Tomalak is fortunate he is…has been an exceptional soldier with a spotless record. It is the only reason why he may be allowed to finish his tour. Had his record been less than outstanding, it is possible he would be facing immediate execution."

At the word "execution" Ael's eyes went wide, her chest jolting with pain and the tightness of her throat nearly enough to make her retch.

I can't take this! She thought wildly, nearly panicked. This has gone too far. The general; he has to know!

"Wait," said Ael, lowering her eyes to the table, "don't say anything else about Tomalak. I-I have to tell you something." Hands slick with sweat Ael rubbed them, shakily so, on the skirt of her dress and exchanged a quick look with Bochra. It scared her that she suddenly couldn't read what he might be thinking. She could only hope he was "on board" with her telling the truth and not scared completely out of his wits for her. "What I have to say is more of a…a confession." Please don't kill me.

General Movar, if possible, was suddenly much more alert, Ael blinking back the tears when she looked up and saw his jaw clench tightly, his expression darkening though not quite as much as it had the morning she had told her little lie about the commander.

"A confession? And what might this confession concern, young lady?"

The words had barely left Movar's mouth when Ael drew her legs in and curled up on the leather chair that she had, only so recently, been seated properly in. Feeling small, like a child who had been caught, about to be chastised for a severe misdeed, Ael hesitated rather than proceed with spilling the truth as she so wanted to do. The thoughts of what Movar might do to her, to Bochra; it was enough to break her heart, but she couldn't allow Tomalak to bear the brunt of consequences he didn't deserve.

"Don't do anything to Tomalak," Ael repeated instead. "Please. I-I made some things up when I spoke to you. I didn't mean to do it, it just happened and I…"

Movar's face finally took on the expression Ael had seen that one morning past, only this time it was aimed at her and, meekly, she pressed back into her chair attempting to make her already small body, smaller. "Are you attempting to say that you lied to me?"

"Um, y-yes, sir," Ael stammered, the tears already beginning to flow especially when she caught sight of the disappointment set deep into Movar's eyes. Anything would have been preferable to her, even death; anything but that intensely deep, disappointed stare.

"Exactly how much was a lie?"

Ael felt like her tongue had gone; Movar wanted an immediate answer and no matter what she said, it was sure to end badly. After five minutes had passed (Ael was shocked Movar had allowed her to stall for so long) Ael forced herself to speak, telling of the offensive lie she had so unjustly spoken about another.

"When I told you Tomalak tried to force himself on me," she began in a choked whisper, "it wasn't true."

"I see," Movar said, Ael not at all comforted by so few words. Perhaps he was waiting for her to say more, to explain herself.

"He also never said he was in love with me," said Ael, swallowing down the traces of vomit that had risen into her throat. "Everything else I said, though, was the truth." Ael lifted her head, panic in her eyes, her demeanor changing in what seemed like an instant. "I-I know I shouldn't have lied to you, General, but T…"

At the sight of Movar's raised hand, his signal for her to quiet, Ael not only snapped her mouth closed in a hurry, but also cringed back, afraid of being brutally slapped not that she was sure she didn't deserve it.

"I do not want excuses, young lady," said Movar sternly. Ael nodded quickly in compliance, further becoming panicked when she saw Movar's eyes on Bochra. "I will speak with Centurion Bochra about this incident, and while I do, you are to wait outside of this room."

"Bochra didn't have anything to do with…" Ael began, unfolding her body from the chair and getting to her feet though she made no moves to leave the room as requested.

Movar raised his hand again, a sterner look than Ael had last received, following the action. Stalling wasn't an option this time, Movar rising from his own chair to guide her from the room, hand heavy on her shoulder, less than five seconds later.

"When I tell you to do something, I mean for you to obey immediately," said Movar, "not several seconds or minutes after the fact."

Wincing at the scolding, Ael choked back another sob. "I know, and I tried to, but…"

"I also believe I said something about not wanting to hear excuses."

"Yes, sir," said Ael, stepping through the door and then lowering her body to sit on the floor.

"Stay there, Ael; I will return for you once I have spoken with the centurion."

And then he was gone, Ael left to sit with her back against the wall closest to the door, knees drawn up, arms around them, feeling absolutely devastated and like she had lost it all in one fell swoop.

"I'm so sorry, Bochra," whispered Ael to her knees. "I never meant to let you down." Lifting her tear filled gaze Ael directed her head to the right, staring down the corridor. "And I'm just as sorry to you, Tomalak," she sniffled. "I should never have done…but I did, and now I have to live with it if I'm even allowed to live at all."

...

Once again, I was proving to the general that I was as untrustworthy as they come. Sitting in the corridor on that cold floor reminiscent of marble stone, knees drawn in, tears cascading down my cheeks in hopelessness, fear, and complete despondency, had been the only things I knew how to do. Well, that is until the bright idea popped into my head that I should stand up, take a little walk through this gigantic, foreign building teeming with Romulan soldiers and attempt to find where Tomalak had been taken.

A foolish move on my part, but in my mind, it was all there was left to do. Everyone was either upset, furiously angry, in a severely tight spot or all of the above, because of me, and I knew I had to be the one to fix things even if it came at a potentially dangerous cost. The only problem, besides the fact I had no idea how to even begin navigating such a large building, different chambers and rooms seemingly every which way, was the fact that Tomalak would likely not want to see me under any circumstances not that I could blame him.

The wheels in my head were content to spin a mile a minute as I walked carefully along the hall; this area of the building was fairly quiet, but somewhere, if I kept on going forward I was bound to run into someone.

A sigh slipped out as I walked, shoulders slumping in response to my emotional state. At the end of the day, what I had done was blame a Romulan commander for behaving like what he was: A Romulan commander. They weren't known for their trusting, forgiving natures; they didn't blindly accept seemingly wild claims about what an outsider (such as myself) might proclaim their heart to be. In many cases, it wouldn't have been a test here and a test there, for purposes of proof to help ease the severe doubt. The only way to say it is I got off easy; when Tomalak had told (yelled) at me that no other commander in the fleet would have ever been so lenient, he was right. Had I been unlucky enough to find myself on a different naval ship, I probably would have been left in the brig, brought out only for interrogation and torture purposes, long executed before the home world was even a glimmer on the view screen.

Wandering around like I was doing, foolish; wandering around, gaze down, paying no mind to anything around because one's head is suddenly overrun with emotional conflict deep enough to drown an entire province? Really foolish. Routinely patrolling guards, what I had been avoiding in the first place, finally stumbled upon me and my aimless wandering, well, one did.

"You there!" the guard barked, so painfully sharp that I halted dead in my tracks, ears ringing. "What in the names of Air and Fire are you doing unguarded?"

Tall, angular-faced, dark eyes, his scarred hands holding tightly to a disruptor rifle; one hell of an intimidating guardsman stood barely a few feet away, quickly drawing closer when I failed to answer. Well, if anyone on the surface was going to fire off a shot at me, I'd much rather be killed by this (to me) nameless man than be facing down the muzzle of the general's disruptor, much later. The thought was enough to cause a case of the shivers, so violently that the guard, briefly, smirked. He probably thought me about to wet my pants over the mere sight of him.

"Um, I was never guarded," I said quickly, my feet refusing to carry me backward by a single step. Maybe I really was more afraid than I thought. Annoyed, the guard stepped forwards and caught me roughly by the arm and I winced; his grip reminded me a lot of Aev's, the big burly brute who had been one of Tomalak's security men, aboard the Decius. Aev had always enjoyed dragging me around, and by dragging me I mean it in a literal sense, leaving behind nasty bruises on my arms and wrists that had hurt like blazes. Praying this wasn't going to be a mirror image of my past time in Aev's clutches, I attempted to pull away from the guard not that it worked.

"I don't buy that not for an instant," said the guard, giving my arm a mighty tug and forcing me off balance. Just like the quick snap of fingers the guard's manner of behaving drove my mood to switch gears, tides of defensiveness bubbling up into my chest, my mouth soon running over like I was but a fool who welcomed a painful end.

"Yeah? Well, good news: I wasn't selling it," I retorted, attempting to pull my arm out of his grip, succeeding in merely forcing him to tighten his hand around my arm to the point I yelped in pain.

"Aren't you a smart mouth," the guard growled, pulling me along as he started up a completely different corridor altogether.

"Hey, wait!" I tried. "I-I'm supposed to be sitting outside of General Movar's office!" Yelping again when one of the guard's nails dug painfully into my skin, I began to drag my heels in a vain effort to slow him down. "I mean it, I – ow! Ease up on your grip, will you!"

There was a tense moment when, after the guard momentarily halted that I thought he was going to pistol whip me, but he didn't. If anything, he seemed to be…thinking, rather deeply, and then a sadistic grin appeared on his face.

"Of course," he said, "you must be Commander Tomalak's little toy." Apparently, the entire home world or at least this part of it knew all about my lie. Great. "I believe I have just the place to put you."

My journey to find Tomalak hadn't even been close to where he was being held, the nameless guard pulling and yanking me along behind him down one corridor and then up another, into a lift where we ascended into a less fancy-looking part of the building. It wasn't until I replayed the guard's words over in my head, for the fifth time, that I realized exactly where he was taking me.

A dark gray door dotted with what looked like dried blood, was where the guard pulled me to a very rough halt; it felt like ten minutes later before he tapped out a passcode on the panel beside it. The sadistic, sneering grin came again and I felt his hands at my back, pushing me into the room.

"Have fun."

Shoved a bit too hard into the room, I stumbled, barely able to right myself and very nearly sprawling out, face down on the floor, which wasn't near as nice as the one outside of the general's office that I was supposed to be, still, sitting on.

The second my gaze lifted, it connected with Tomalak's and my previous instincts had been correct: he was less than amused to see me. Currently seated on a chair, near a table, in the otherwise pretty barren, very drab-looking room was the commander; the way his stare was attempting to bore holes through my skull made me reevaluate my brilliant plan to find him. That idea was no longer appearing merely foolish in my mind, now it was more like a certifiably insane one.

Seriously wishing I had stayed where the general had placed me, I couldn't help but step backward by several steps when Tomalak stood up and then began to step towards me. Though he had appeared mildly confused, among very irritated when he'd first seen me stumbling into the room, Tomalak was now the most furious I had ever seen him, which is saying quite a bit, coming from me! If anything, he appeared downright murderous.

"You," said Tomalak, growling low, "are the last person in the entire known universe that I want to see."

All I could do was stammer, stepping backward by another two steps. "I-I know, Tomalak, but you need to listen. I…"

"Then get out," he demanded. "I need not listen to anything you have to say to me."

Trembling unexpectedly when I saw his fists clenching at his sides, I said, "I can't," all the while praying, silently, that he wouldn't suddenly advance forwards and backhand me so forcefully that my jaw shattered.

"Would you rather be ripped to pieces?" The expression on Tomalak's face was frightening, severely intimidating. At the moment, I wouldn't put it past him to make good on his threat to rip me limb from limb.

"A wandering guardsman tossed me in here, likely locking the door behind me. There's no way for me to get out of…"

Tomalak's gaze shifted to the left, my eyes drawn to a small, round window that I hadn't noticed upon entry, though to be fair, my mind had been focused on other things. The window was positioned to where one could gaze out and into the city, but the sunlight flitting through was weak and pale in comparison to how the light was shining outside or had been, the last time I had seen it.

"You don't…seriously expect me to open the window and…jump out, do you?" As terrified as I was; as angry as I knew Tomalak to be, I almost couldn't fathom him forcing such an action upon me.

The silencestretched between us and though it wasn't a comfortable one, I welcomed its arrival. For Tomalak not to answer my question with an instant "yes!" was enough to make me consider that maybe, just maybe he was reconsidering the idea of taking away my breathing privileges. Instead of tossing me through the window Tomalak stepped forwards again, stopped barely a few feet from me and folded his arms tightly.

"You said you have something to say to me," said Tomalak crossly. "After what you had the audacity to…"

"I told the general the truth," I blurted, interrupting. "You're safe, your career is safe; everything is safe, Tomalak. Well, I'm probably not, but you are and that's…that's all that matters."

Slowly, Tomalak's arms loosened and he fixed me with a questioning, curious expression, but I turned my head away from him so he wouldn't see me cry. That's all I seemed to do anymore, cry and fret and otherwise do the wrong damned thing.

"Despite everything," I said, willing my voice not to wobble, "despite how wrong it was of me to accuse you of… The general believed me and I was about to start a new life, free of my past, but knowing you were locked away somewhere, about to lose your command, your career; to know you might be facing execution?" Now I did turn back, the wetness in my eyes taking Tomalak out of focus and allowing me to only see a blurred, distorted image, the lump in my throat about choking the life out of me. "I-I have no idea what the general is going to do to me; I don't know what may happen to Bochra, either, and he had zero part in anything I did."

"Why did you tell him?" Tomalak asked, his tone much more neutral and far less threatening than it had been. "Honestly, I was quite certain you would tell him nothing."

"I didn't want you hurt because of me," I said. "At first, I almost didn't tell him even though the lie I told was making me feel so sick inside. My thoughts kept drifting to you and those thoughts produced emotions that made me feel incredibly heavy and sicker than I've ever felt. I was supremely foolish; I should never have dared to lie to the general about you."

"No," agreed Tomalak, "you most assuredly should not have." Turning away, hand to my mouth to try and stifle the sobs I so badly wanted to produce, biting my bottom lip harder than necessary to aid with the task, I soon felt a hand on my shoulder but I couldn't bear to turn around. "I want you to know something as well: I contacted General Movar purely as a gift to you, there was never any clandestine ulterior motive behind what I did."

But you dragged me out of my room at two in the morning, I thought. I was still in my nightclothes and barefoot and…and… Could you have been so excited to present me with something you knew to be so special that you, just, couldn't help the behavior?

Another decision was soon made, one that had me, again, questioning if I was about to make a good decision or yet another stupid one, but being trapped where I was and facing something, likely, horrible to come before too much longer, I decided to just say whatever it was came to mind to share.

"A-as long as we're admitting things," I began, shakily, regaining as much composure as possible before turning around, "I guess I have something else to say."

"Go on."

"Back when you invited me to dine with you when the subject came up of people in the Empire who I most admire, respect; your name should have been the second one I mentioned. I just… didn't know how to or even if I should, so I didn't."

For a moment, Tomalak's face showed shock, and then it switched to disbelief with a hint of curiousness. "This isn't a game?" he asked. "What you are saying is what you truly think?"

Nodding, I continued going with my admissions, one after another. "When I was still on the Enterprise and first heard of whose Warbird was hanging above it, my first, immediate thoughts were along the lines of 'hey, I know of him! Fantastic!' You're one of the most well-known commanders in the fleet, impossible to not know of and for a moment, while I was riding the turbolift to another deck, I could only wonder what it would be like to finally meet you. I remember mulling over the attributes you were said to have, chuckling to myself when I thought of how perfect a fit we'd be. I never expected to be greeted with open arms or given full trust, and you were beyond right when you said you were far more lenient with me than any other would have ever been and for that… thank you."

A shuddering breath slipped out of me again. "I used to think I knew everything about Romulans, the people I always considered myself to be a part of, but it turns out I really don't know all that much. The times you contemplated shoving me through an airlock… I wish you had then none of this would be happening now. You would be happy, Bochra would be safe; no one would have to go through any of this nonsense."

Tomalak looked uncertain of how to respond to everything I'd shared, his arms no longer folded and his fists no longer clenched. If anything, he seemed to be concerned with my current emotional state, but so was I. Wherever Bochra was, in the general's office or elsewhere, he had to be battling one hell of a headache if he wasn't already incapacitated from it. My best bet was to get out a further apology before I lost what was left of my sanity.

"I'm so, deeply sorry, Tomalak," I said no longer bothering to choke back the sobs. "I-I know you will never forgive me and that's perfectly understandable, b-but if you could do just one thing for me, though I-I know I deserve nothing, please don't let Bochra come to harm for my own stupidity. I swear that he knew n-nothing about what I had been planning to do and he warned me against starting rumors, but I didn't listen. Please, I hope you can believe that I never meant for anything to go this far. All I wanted…was to come home."

Those final words took what was left of any composure that might still remain and I fell to my knees, hands over my face and sobbed.

There was nothing left I could lose.