You may remember this story from last year, same time, written for wizefic's Candy Hearts compilation on LiveJournal. 'Tis almost finished, and its entirety will be posted by morning, although I suppose since it has passed midnight that I have failed in posting it on Valentine's Day. This day sucked for me royally, but the show must go on. I am determined to have this story completed and now.
Still dedicated to MiaoShou for being the first person to ever review my stories here, share my love of Light/L together and assure me that I was completely normal in thinking egoists such as these two boys could do happily ever after.
Now or Never
Light's head toddled forward slowly, barely nodding off before he jerked himself upright. The click-clack of computer keys doing nothing to keep his head from lulling forward again. If anything, the familiarity of this noise had become an odd lullaby, tugging him back into the fuzzy warmth of unconsciousness. Maybe L would allow him another coffee break; the early afternoon was draining when faced with L's moodiness for the entirety of it.
He looked over at the detective, dismally noting he still appeared depressed. Fight after fight with the stubborn man resulted in him remaining unmoved while Light felt abused and frustrated. Now he struggled to keep boredom away even as the monotony of it all caused his head to sluggishly hang in the balance. The sleep deprivation wasn't helping either.
"L?"
No answer.
"Ryuuzaki!" A bit angrier than Light had meant it to sound, the address finally produced the result he wanted. Unblinking, owlish eyes turned to stare blankly at him.
"Light-kun need not yell; my hearing is unaffected by age or injury," L blandly answered before asking, "What does Light-kun need now?"
To hug you. To kiss you. To make you feel better. Anything that involves me and you and happiness—I'd do anything for you! You damn unemotional zombie!
"Uhm, nothing." He shook his head sadly. "I shouldn't have bothered you." Insult followed every injury and Light's pride was wounded every time. He tried hard to rationalize through L's refusal to care, but being forced to do that, day in and day out, pissed Light off. He wanted much more than indifference or L's stubborn belief that he was Kira, squashing the little voice that reminded him what an ego boost that had been.
Who shrugged away their ideals, beliefs in justice and steadfast demands for truth because of a minor setback… or major? Lack of proof certainly was important. The man was/is the three greatest detectives in the world, though! It's obvious that I adore him. Why won't he behave like before? What's changed?
Suddenly, Light didn't feel like squelching his flaming temper. He slid over to L, satisfaction washing over him as the chain gratingly clinked across the floor. Knowing that those pallid, falsely vacant features would crinkle in pained annoyance and he would see something more, a glimmer of the real L he desperately wished to bring alive.
"Why are you such a brat?"
There it was. The look! Only some one as obsessed as Light was, could love seeing it. He was sick! It was the only explanation for why he could get excited over such an uninviting face. However, he would take it. It was the only sign that L still existed somewhere in the deep confines hidden within himself.
Across the room, the entire investigative team cringed. Another fight was coming and they all braced themselves for the fallout. But Light didn't want any more of that kind of physical contact. He was tired of the need to touch the man, and taking second-hand reactions.
With as much sincerity he could muster under the crush of his want for a man who had absolutely no interest in him, life or anything at the moment, he bit back the next hateful retort waiting to spool out and instead smiled winningly as he could without coming across as a freak.
"What are you doing?" he asked, a little too hesitant for coy innocence. L glared at him suspiciously. Then as if he had never even noticed Light, his features reset into blatant nonchalance.
"What Light-kun should be doing rather than interrupting me," he snidely replied, focusing all his attention on the computer screen in front of him.
Light sighed in defeat. Who was he kidding? The man was emotionally unavailable and suicidal and well frankly, irrational, childish and mulishly set in his ways. What the Hell did he see in the man? L was the definitive example of "bad boyfriend material."
As he came to this disheartening realization, Light wheeled his chair back in his computer's direction. The chain, however, caught on L's stash of candy settled precariously between the computer stations. Candy hearts flew everywhere, skating across the floor in a cacophonous tempo that stuttered in tune with Light's shattering heart. He froze, not certain what to do next.
"Light-kun is naturally gifted in shirking responsibilities today," L managed without any hint of real agitation, and not moving from his static position in front of the computer. Light kneeled on the floor and picked the fallen candies up. He nearly giggled at the sayings on them, especially as he handed them up to L who tossed them into the trash bin on the other side of the terminal.
Love Me.
My Hero.
Be Mine.
And this continued on, until Light thought he might lose his mind.
He broke the silence. "Aren't these usually given to a person on Valentine's Day? And aren't they gross even for you? They taste like chalk."
"Wouldn't you eat something that your Valentine had given you, no matter how it tasted, Light-kun?"
"Huh?" Light couldn't form a coherent response. Jealousy spiked through him. Followed quickly by denial. Then fear. Did L already have someone?
"Does Light-kun not think that I'm attractive enough or interesting enough for anyone to want to be my Valentine?" Something like real emotion edged into L's tone. Maliciousness and bitterness and more, but Light reeled just from this small exposure to a new facet of L. He couldn't place it. Hm? Maybe insecurity.
"You don't think I find you attractive?" He finally asked, or mostly whispered since he was trying to avoid the attentive ears of the rest of the investigative team.
L shrugged and stared. An evasive response when he didn't believe you.
"You have no idea, do you? Ryuga Hideki has nothing on you!" Light hissed in frustration, kneeing his way towards L since he wasn't about to crawl, but wanting to make certain there were no more hearts left on the floor.
"There, Light-kun. You missed one." L chewed the tip of his thumb. He used his other hand to point out the solitary candy heart.
Heartthrob!
How appropriate. Light stood and walked over to L. He gently tugged L's hand outwards and unfolded his curled fingers. Holding L's flattened hand in his own, palms upwards, he placed the candy heart decisively in the middle.
"For you," he pertly stated. "It suits you."
The detective angled his head upwards, his bangs nearly covering his eyes; he still managed to peer into Light's face, now sporting a contemplative frown. Light watched him intently, hoping the man took what he said sincerely. When it looked like he might, Light closed L's fingers around the heart and let go of his hand.
"You don't think someone has an L scrapbook? A place where they've stashed a bunch of articles on you and clippings of your Goth L?!"
L snorted in disbelief and Light laughed at such a normal, human response coming from the man. He pulled his chair in so that it faced the skeptical detective and sat down. He reached over and slid his index finger along L's brow, brushing his bangs out of his eyes.
"Who wouldn't want that sexy, Goth L on their bento box?" he continued persuasively. "Goth is hot! And you are…," Light trailed off, realizing he was getting more personal than he was willing to be in front of an audience. Not to mention what his father must think from just these remarks and the fact that he and L seemed to have gravitated closer to each other so that now their foreheads were nearly touching.
He let his stray hand caress the side of L's face and across his cheek before he cradled L's head so he could lean in further, his lips hovering by the detective's ear.
"Believe me," he whispered, "I don't need a genius intellect to tell me you're attractive. Or interesting. And you are the three greatest detectives in the world… that's an added bonus."