Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII nor do I own the song used in this fic. I only wish I was creative enough to come up with either one of them.
Authors Note: This is just something that I had been thinking about for a while before I finally decided to type it out. Also this is my first song fic. I hope I did a decent job at it. I don't write because usually I like the idea of something that had a bigger picture but with this one I just couldn't help it. This song just screamed Vincent at me the first time I heard it.
~The song used in this fic is called Monster and it is done by a wonderful band named Heart-Set Self-Destruct. I highly advise that you listen to this song while you read this.~
There was something strange, and yet, soothing about sleeping for eternity, he decided. Though he wasn't always sleeping, there were rare moments, like this one, where he would wake up and hold a mental debate with himself before he drifted off once more. He wasn't quite sure which one he liked better though: Sleeping or being awake.
I got a catacomb of secrets that would break your heart
I got a grave to dig with your name on it while you watch
I've given up on the sunshine can't avoid the rain
When I did become this monster that lives for this pain?
When he slept, which was most of the time, he didn't have happy and pleasant dreams. Instead they were the exact opposite of that. His sleep plagued him with the nightmares of what had lead him to where he was now. Nightmares of how he had failed to save her. Those were the most frequent for him. Then there was the nightmare of being strapped down on the metal operating table and how that had been the way his humanity had been stolen from him. Torn and ripped from him without his consent, and all for the sake of some twisted version of science.
When sleeping pills can't offer what you want
I'm living underwater but I can not drown
I can not swim to save myself I'm drifting off
I'm sleeping underground now
Forever in hell
On the other hand, when he was awake he wasn't reliving his failures over and over again. Instead he was reflecting on it. Thinking of all the ways he could have changed his fate. But even more so, how he could have changed her fate. Any way he looked at it, it didn't matter what would have happened to him in the end, only what would have happened to her. Would have's and could have's didn't matter now though, he didn't try hard enough to convince her that she was wrong and in the end it had cost them both. It had cost him his humanity and it had cost her her life.
I'm not alone here in the darkness I'm buried in thoughts
In a dream it was silent when my world fell apart
When the angels come to dying
They'll come to get lost
I'll be staring into your eyes while you watch them fall
But now, not only did he see and dream in a nightmarish realm, he was one. He was the epitome of a walking nightmare. He was something young children would dream up out of fear at night when they hear a noise from outside and imagine it to be in their own room. He was the monster that they would think was under their bed or in their closet. He was a living; breathing 'Boogieman' and he had four different ways to prove that he was too.
When sleeping pills can't offer what you want
I'm living underwater but I can not drown
I can not swim to save myself I'm drifting off
I'm sleeping underground now for ever in hell
And I'm breathing in the water I can not drown
When did I become this monster
Forever in hell
Those four ways were simple really, and yet so complicated. They were the ones he now shared his body with. Four separate entities, or demons really. Galian Beast, Death Gigas, Hellmasker, and Chaos. When one of them was free to take over, all hell breaks loose. None of them cared what they were attacking, whether it be human or monster, all they cared for was sating their hunger. A hunger that could only be satisfied by one thing: blood.
What have I become?
What have I become?
I'm living underwater but I can not drown
Living underwater
He had already thought himself to be a monster before all of this happened. But now he really was a monster. Thoughts like this made him almost relived that he had been concealed in a coffin. This way they could never get out. The world was much safer with him locked away and he hoped no one ever found him. He hoped that no one would ever let the demons out of their prison. Right now they were dormant, but if he was ever let free they would not stay that way. They would wake up and then that would be the end of humanity. If that happened he would be even more of a monster than he already was.
I cannot swim to save myself I'm drifting off
I'm sleeping underground now for ever in hell
And I'm breathing in the water
But I can not drown
When did I become this monster forever in hell
He would just have to take things as they come though. He knew that one day someone would find him, but that was just something he would have to deal with when that time finally came. And so he shut his eyes once more to go back into the realm of nightmares that he had become so used to. He never knew though that moments after he had returned to his own personal hell, someone had entered the domain in which he slept. Nor did he know that they would be the ones to awaken him. And he never would have foreseen the fact that one of them, a dark haired and amber eyed woman, would be the one to try and help him find his long forgotten humanity.
End Note: Like I said before, this is my first song fic and I hope I did a good job on it. Don't be afraid to tell me what you think. And yes, the woman mentioned at the end is Tifa. I have this thing where I think they would be good for each other. I don't know why but I do. And for those of you that are reading Ever After: Yes I am working on it. It is slow at the moment but it is getting there. Well that's all I have to say for now. Until next time I guess.