Haha…so another one-shot! Yay! I may make a drabble series for this universe if people enjoy this one-shot. I'm sure Ryuu-fukutaichou would enjoy that! Don't worry, other stories are being updated soon. But I'm moving, as you know, so I'm oober busy.
Also, I have a facebook and Tumblr page, so I'd love it if you dropped a like and a follow.
Summary: If Tsuna had been told at fourteen that in five years he would be a father he would have laughed in the news bearer's face. Him, Dame-Tsuna having a son? He could barely talk to a girl never mind actually get into a serious relationship with one. Include the fact that later he would resolve himself to never get a girl he loved involved with the mafia and Tsuna never imagined he would be a teenage father, raising his one and only son alone; trying to be the best father and boss he could be all at the same time.
Fatherhood.
"Past speech, a memory."
"Present speech."
Tsuna never really slept anymore. He obviously slept; he was human after all, and didn't want to hasten his downwards spiral into insanity by adding a lack of sleep to that equation. What he meant was that he hadn't had a truly, deep, dead-weight sleep since Reborn's arrival, because it was always dangerous to not have some kind of awareness during sleep when you were a mafia don. Tsuna's body had mechanisms to allow him to rest even when totally aware, and he was thankful for it in recent years.
One of these mechanisms was the ability to move his body –subtly and exaggeratedly –while still being in what was considered a state of 'deep' sleep.
So when a snuffling started up at the end of Tsuna's bed, his body was moving out of the bed even before his mind had caught up. He was already standing and striding towards the crib when he finally yawned and stretched out a majority of the sleep from his limbs.
"Yoshi," Tsuna yawned as he picked the young infant form the mahogany crib before he could start bawling, which would just cause chaos as the baby's Uncles descended into the room to try to 'lighten Tsuna's load'. "What's wrong little man, you hungry?"
Apparently the crib was an heirloom and had been used by Vongola since Secondo's son was born and every heir and don since then had used that crib at one time or another. It had been flown out from Italy nine months ago. Tsuna didn't know whether to believe his tutor's words, because there were many 'heirlooms' and 'traditions' that Reborn spoke of that when Tsuna asked his grandfather were met with deep chuckles. Once the man had started to tear up because apparently Reborn had won the bet and Nono was convinced that Tsuna wouldn't fall for it.
Tsuna eyed the mahogany bars and snorted. Heirloom or not it seemed pompous to put his son in something so expensive when a simple futon, or even mosses basket would have sufficed.
But oh no, how dare he step on the sanctity of Italian heritage and try to refuse the crib when his son arrived in his life.
Tsuna snorted again before bringing his concentration back to the child cradled in the crook of his elbow, looking up at him with big, doe eyes.
Not any child. His mind supplied in a soft coo. His child.
Tsuna sighed under his breath and his eyes became cold as he rocked Yoshinobu gently, trying to get his son back to sleep. His internal clock informed him that he had been sleeping for roughly an hour and a half, meaning it was three in the morning. Tsuna had a meeting with Dino at nine, and though the man never minded Tsuna being late or exhausted –used to it from his own early boss years –Reborn always gave Tsuna hell afterwards.
Something about it being unsightly; or something like that.
Tsuna sighed again and made his way downstairs.
He was staying at his mother's house that weekend so that she had some time with her grandson, but usually –as was the case since he was nineteen –Tsuna lived with his guardians in the underground base that had completed construction just after Tsuna's eighteenth birthday.
Tsuna knew that Gokudera and Yamamoto would be up within ten minutes, having sensed Tsuna's move from his room. Both boys were staying in the guest rooms down the hall. They would have slept in Tsuna's room, like they had when they first became friends, but seeing as they were all almost twenty now, it was awfully crowded. Especially with that crib –which had to follow Tsuna between the base and his mother's home – crammed in the only available space in the back corner.
Tsuna made a be-line for the kitchen; he would make Yoshinobu a bottle before grabbing himself a cup of hot-chocolate. He knew better than to have any caffeine; he was hoping to get back to sleep.
As the kettle boiled Tsuna looked down into Yoshinobu's face, his son was drowsily watching his father and Tsuna smiled gently, humming under his breath. His son lit up when he heard the tune, because Tsuna had been singing it since Yoshi was born. It was a tune his father used to sing with him; the only memory of Iemitsu from Tsuna's infancy.
Tsuna automatically mixed the formula, frowning all along because he knew his child never got any breast milk. He was worried about whether that would hurt Yoshi in the end, but for now he just had to deal with what he had.
Looking down into his beautiful eight months old's face as he drifted, a frown cooled Tsuna's eyes. Though the boy acted and looked much like Tsuna did as a child, there were things about him that Tsuna could see were definitely his mothers.
The shapes of his eyes were all Kazuna's.
The russet colour of his hair was just a shade darker than his mother's.
It was all a reminder to Tsuna that Kazuna was not his anymore and that she hadn't really loved him much at all.
Barely enough to give birth to the son she had conceived by complete miracle and accident.
When Tsuna was sixteen he met Kazuna, she wasn't the prettiest girl in the area, nor was she the smartest. She was wider, set with hips larger than the Japanese average. Kazuna was a year older than Tsuna, making her more mature than Tsuna's old crush, but Tsuna had matured quickly since coming back from the future and it balanced them out. Her hair was an orangey-russet colour and her eyes, the brightest green Tsuna had seen for a while. No, with her wide nose and big eyes she wasn't the prettiest thing, but she made Tsuna so happy to be around.
He didn't like thinking about her, because damnit he did love her.
They got to know each other for six months before Tsuna finally asked her to go out with him. He was shy and awkward and she just laughed happily at his quirks, kissed his cheek with a blush that rivalled Hayato's when Tsuna complemented him, and agreed.
During their relationship, which progressed neither quickly nor slowly, Kazuna had health problems. She had stomach cramps and hormonal issues all her life and her cycle had always fluctuated erratically during her teens.
The couple had found out that Kazuna's ovaries were shot, and that she would be infertile for the rest of her life just after Kazuna turned eighteen. Kazuna had been beside herself, because she had wanted a big family. Tsuna had sat her down once they had left the doctor's office with an understanding smile and a tight embrace; he had kissed her cheeks, her eyelids, and then her lips before murmuring softly to her.
"It doesn't matter, Kazuna. I love you, this doesn't change anything."
At eighteen, neither Kazuna nor Tsuna were particularly chaste. They had experimented with various levels of pleasure and explored the feeling of each other's skin and touch many times. They were careful of course, and Kazuna never questioned Tsuna's obsessive-ness with her birth control. She sometimes giggled over his obsession with it; but never questioned it.
Tsuna could remember 'the talk' that not only his father, but embarrassingly enough, Reborn had sat him down for when he and Kazuna started getting serious. They had warned him with all seriousness the dangers of getting a girl pregnant at this crucial time. It was a danger to himself and Vongola; though Reborn had clocked Iemitsu over the head when he had brought Vongola up.
"Just be careful, Dame-Tsuna." Reborn had been eerily sombre as he spoke, "You open yourself for all sorts of pain if you open your body up to someone in such an intimate way."
Tsuna took that lesson seriously, because his intuition knew that Reborn spoke from experience. It tightened Tsuna's chest to think that someone had hurt Reborn in such a way; he didn't understand people who could do that to their partners.
It didn't make sense to him so of course he never imagined that it would ever happen to him.
Tsuna was careful, but even then mistakes happen. It wasn't until too late, during an evening of intimacy between him and Kazuna that he realised the condom had broken and Kazuna no longer took any contraceptive. Both had panicked for a handful of minutes, but they both knew Kazuna was infertile and put it out of their minds, unconcerned and sure that nothing would ever go wrong.
Tsuna, by this time, had a pretty good handle on his hyper intuition. For the most part he was able to decipher its general meanings, and sometimes knew exactly what it meant. Survival instincts and attacks were perfectly synchronised by his body, other things –more subtle things –however were generally harder to decipher.
So that's why Tsuna couldn't understand the shrill spike that would assault him whenever Kazuna was sick, or complained of a bad back two months after their small panic. He wanted to listen to the intuition spikes, but he didn't understand them. Not until he overheard a conversation between Kazuna and her mother one day.
"I know the doctor said that you were infertile, but are you sure that it's not morning sickness?" Tsuna liked Kazuna's mother, she was straightforward and always had the best in mind. "Have you taken a test yet, or told Tsunayoshi-kun."
"I can't be pregnant." Tsuna had heard Kazuna deny with an exasperated sigh. "I'm permanently infertile. The doctors said that I wasn't even releasing eggs."
Tsuna had frozen for all of five seconds before his eyes narrowed and he was striding down to the drug store to buy whatever the latest pregnancy test was on the market.
It worried him sometimes, how easily he slipped into boss mode. It had started after his trip to the future and grew more intense as he aged. Now it took only subtle things for him to slip into what Ryohei and Takeshi liked to joke was his 'Boss face' and Mukuro teased was his 'angry kitten look'. It was never angry, just determined. A kind of interlude between dying will and hyper dying will mode.
When Kazuna had gotten back to Tsuna's mother's house –having received an abrupt text message from Tsuna saying he had to leave suddenly and would meet her there –she wasn't expecting to be handed the little device with a sad smile and a 'Sorry I eavesdropped, please take it?'
Kazuna had complied; she was not worried after all. While the test was setting she had asked Tsuna why he was so insistent, seeing as he wasn't worried at all before, but she had been met with haunted looks and a shrug. A 'humour me' colouring his lips.
Even before Kazuna herself had register the two blue lines, Tsuna was standing with a phone to his ear and she could hear the stiff desperation and command in his tone.
"Reborn, I need you to set up an appointment with Shamal immediately." He had no nonsense in his voice and it scared Kazuna a little bit. "I don't care, I need it now."
He hung up and dialled again, this time Kazuna recognised him using the conferencing feature of his expensive, foreign phone. "Mukuro, Kyouya, I need you to meet Reborn right now. It's important. Don't you dare give me an excuse Mukuro, not today. Takeshi, Hayato I'm sending you a list and I need you to start researching and collecting the things on it, please." He sighed, and Kazuna noticed the quiver in his voice this time as he answered after a pause, "It's a Millfiore type situation."
Tsuna hung up and sighed before turning to a very confused, scared Kazuna. "What was that about? Why did you call all your friends?"
He smiled gently before gesturing for her to take his hand. "Come on, love." He soothed, "We're going to go see my doctor friend and confirm the test."
Half an hour later found Tsuna, Kazuna, Reborn, and Shamal in a make-shift doctor's office with a confirmation of the store-bought pregnancy test. Shamal was rubbing his head in confusion and awe.
"Well it's healthy and normal for a two-month old pregnancy." He explained. "But how it's happened I don't even know. You're bloodline is more potent than we thought, young man."
Tsuna didn't know whether to flush or snap at the man for being so flippant about this matter. This was going to make or break Vongola and Shamal was brushing it off as if Hayato had told him he could play piano.
"Well my duty is done. I'll see you in another week or so for your next appointment." With a quick nod to Tsuna, Shamal strode out of the room to make his rounds and get back to headquarters. He would be staying in Japan now until the heir was born. For once he didn't even mind the whole ordeal.
Tsuna was pacing the edge of the room, and Kazuna was more than a little confused by the entire thing. She wasn't sure why her boyfriend looked so worried, or how he had even known that she was pregnant. He had always been intuitive, but she had marked that down to just one of his quirks. Now though, as his Step-father –as that was who Reborn was introduced as, even though Kazuna knew the dark man wasn't and had never been married to Nana –watched on with unbridled concern and calculation.
"You're going to have to tell her now, Tsuna. There's no choice. She's carrying your child."
Tsuna wanted to scream at the Hitman for suggesting such a thing, but he heard the haunted chill in that voice and it startled him. "But Reborn, she's an innocent."
"Tsuna?"
"Tsunayoshi, you knew you'd have to tell her one day, we made you understand that the moment you told us you wanted to get serious with her."
"I know but this is not what I expected."
"Things happened, Dame-Tsuna." Reborn snapped, stressed that this was happening to his student and surrogate-son. "You of all people should understand that and what this means for the future."
"What does 'what' means? Tsuna, what is he talking about?!"
Tsuna was broken from his frantic pacing and Kazuna was startled and frightened by the cold resignation in the usually warm, carefree eyes. She had always known that Tsuna was hiding something, that he was haunted by demons that he would never share with her. But when he looked at her then, she saw fear, shock, anger and no subtle amount of coldness. It scared her.
When he sat down in front of her, holding her hands in his own larger, scarred ones, she had not expected the tale that fell from his lips.
Tsuna did not tell her everything. He kept the gritty details of Vongola to a minimum; in fact he didn't even mention its name. He told her about his future and the work he did, of the training and his influence. He watched with growing resignation as fear and disgust washed through her delicate green eyes. Tsuna's intuition sparked uncomfortable, warning him that what she would say next would not be what he wanted to hear.
"I'll give you two some space." Reborn pushed himself from the wall and took up station outside the doctor's office with Mukuro and Hibari. Why his student had chosen these two guardians to guard him, he didn't know. But he knew that Hayato and Takeshi had been given their own duties to perform.
"Get it out of me," was Kazuna's soft reply. "I don't want it."
Tsuna startled, gripping Kazuna's hands before they were ripped out of his and his partner became near hysterical. "Kazuna?"
"Get this monster out of me. I'm not carrying some Mafioso's child. I'm certainly not staying with one." She spit. "How could you taint me like this? Do you get off on knocking up innocent girls? Huh?"
Tsuna froze under her angry words, and he felt himself shake in anger and confusion even as tears burned his eyes and nose. "Why would you even say that? You know I would never do that." His tone was calm, but Kazuna could hear the confusion.
"Oh really? How do I know anything, Tsuna? You could have been lying to me the whole time. You are a Mafioso after all!" She seethed.
"I did it to protect you."
"I don't care; I want this out of me. I want you out of my life. I never want to see you again."
Tsuna felt cold grief hit his chest to hear her say that, he knew he could not salvage this relationship, nothing he could say would change her mind; not now. He could see it in her eyes.
But maybe he could convince her not to kill the innocent in this equation. Tsuna was Pro-choice at the worst of times, but cold tendrils of dread crept up and down his spine with her words.
"You heard Shamal, if you terminate it's likely you'll never have children again. You'll lose your chance of having kids again." Tsuna tried to reason, feeling his gut churn at the idea of losing his child.
"I will do it myself if I have to. I'll OD or drink 'til I drop." She threatened; her voice solid with resolve. "But I don't want some monster's child inside me."
Her words sent cold chills down his spine. His intuition roared and he felt his flame boil and writhe in accordance to the threat on his child. Tsuna had heard stories of Vongola blood and how potent Vongola intuition was about blood kin.
Even though the child was barely two months along, his blood and body was ready to fight to the death for his blood. It was thrilling and terrifying, it made testosterone and adrenaline rush through his veins. He felt dizzy and centred all at once.
His eyes narrowed as he saw the glare in Kazuna's eyes. She was strong and independent; Tsuna knew that she would terminate the pregnancy by any means and with no hesitation, regardless of the risks to her health and future chances of having children.
"I'll pay you." Tsuna suddenly said with cold eyes.
"What are you blathering about?"
"I'll pay you to carry my child." He said. "I'll pay all prenatal care. I'll also give you enough money to cover a year's salary for your trouble." Tsuna wasn't sure Kazuna would take the deal; she wasn't unnecessarily greedy, even if she did enjoy being spoiled and pampered.
"You're ridiculous, as if I'd ever carry this for nine-months for money." She spit. "You're sick."
"I'll give you two years salary." He continued. "All you'd need to do is carry my child and go to appointments with Shamal to assure that you are caring for the child as necessary." Tsuna's voice was deadened at the idea of buying his child's life. But he would do anything to save it.
"After that I can leave, and never see you or this thing again?" He was even more deadened to realise that the woman he loved, who he thought he knew was actually swayed by such a material deal.
"You'll never have to hear about me or our child again."
"Your child, this is not mine."
Tsuna could only watch on as greed crept into her eyes as well as disgust. He resigned himself to his decision and knew that few others would agree with his choice. But this was his child, and his money. He felt like he would be making an irrevocable mistake if he allowed Kazuna to terminate; he had learnt to trust his intuition.
The seven months between Tsuna's heart-breaking deal and his son's birth were both tough and exciting. Tsuna didn't get to feel the whole awe of the ultrasounds or the prenatal appointments, because Kazuna refused him entry to them. Sure, Shamal kept him up to date after every appointment, and the body guards stationed around Kazuna 24/7 assured him that she was keeping his heir perfectly safe, but it still wasn't the same.
Tsuna wanted to feel that rush of seeing his child's first ultrasound live, he wanted to find out the gender –something Kazuna refused to allow publicised –and he wanted to feel the joy parents felt to know how their child was doing.
One thing he didn't have to worry about was the Mafia coming to kill his heir before he was born. Seeing as Tsuna was still not named heir, apparently no one really knew who he was. Sure they knew he had beaten Xanxus, but Nono was still fighting-fit and wasn't looking to retire for at least two years. So he hadn't officially made Tsuna his heir. This had kept Tsuna and Kazuna out of Mafia limelight, leaving Tsuna's child safe within only Vongola knowledge.
Not even Dino or Enma knew about his child. They were being overly cautious of the entire ordeal. It paid in this kind of situation to be near paranoid about secrecy.
Surprisingly enough, not one of the guardians disapproved of Tsuna's choices or the means by which he was going about keeping his child alive. Tsuna felt guilty and disgusting, as if he was buying his child. Like some sick Mafioso.
Hayato, Takeshi, and Ryohei all went about buying supplies and building various toys and furniture pieces that they would need. It kept their hands busy, because Tsuna knew that had Kazuna not been carrying his child, they would have had a few choice words with her.
Chrome, Haru, Kyoko, and even Hana had all taken to buying clothes. Chrome even going as far as to learn to knit so she could make the baby a beautiful rainbow coloured blanket with different symbols to represent each guardian; each uncle and aunt.
Kyouya had immediately gone to bite Kazuna to death for her impudence, but Tsuna had stopped him and instead pointed him towards the legal side of his child's birth. Since all of this was being done under cloak and dagger, papers would need to be forged to cover both Vongola and Tsuna's child from all angles. Forged death certificates of the child's 'mother', doctor's notices, and formal adoption records. It all needed to be perfect. Kyouya did all this with the utmost precision and Tsuna appreciated it more than he could thank the cloud.
Lambo, Fuuta, and I-pin were all too young to do anything significant, instead they helped repaint one of the spare rooms in the Japanese base to be a play-room for the baby, and what would be his or her bedroom once they were old enough to move from Tsuna's room. Fuuta was excited to be an uncle, and being fifteen didn't change that at all. I-pin and Lambo, even though they were ten didn't think they were going to be an aunt and uncle, they kept asking throughout Kazuna's pregnancy, when their new brother or sister was going to arrive. When Tsuna asked why brother or sister, both I-pin and Lambo answered in unison, "Because Tsuna-nii is like our Otou-san!"
Mukuro was sent on guard duty most of the time, with his strong illusions he kept Kazuna's pregnancy a secret when she went out in public. He and three other guards kept her safe from all enemies that might somehow find out about Tsuna's heir. Nothing much happened, but Mukuro need to keep his head in the game, or else risk collapsing the entire plan of making a new past for Tsuna's child.
Encouragement and resolve came not from Hayato or Takeshi, but strangely enough from Mukuro.
Tsuna's male mist had been released from Vindicare upon clearing up the entire Arcobaleno fiasco, and he had been growing ever more protective of Tsuna since. One evening when Tsuna was sitting alone in the living room of the Japanese base, his mist slinked in and sat beside him, but marginally closer than usual.
"I want to thank you Tsuna, for deciding to save your child."
"I feel vile, Mukuro." Tsuna explained, looking at his hands with disgusted interest. "I've bought my child from his mother. How can he or she ever be proud when they learn that? I'm disgusting, just as bad as Estraneo was." Tsuna's voice broke at the end; it was everything he didn't want to be.
"Coming from someone who was bought and sold more than once as a child, I need you to know this is different, Tsunayoshi." Mukuro explained with rare sobriety. "You are saving his life and your money is not cold or tainted; it's spent with love and I know he will not be ashamed when he or she hears of how you defended them even before they could be considered a 'child'."
Silence settled between the men, and Tsuna smiled a little despite himself. "Thank you, Mukuro."
"Kufufufufu, I can't have you getting weak now, Tsunayoshi. I don't possess the weak." With that, the man got up to leave with only a light 'good night' before disappearing towards his room.
It was late February when Tsuna received a rushed call from a deceptively calm Shamal. Tsuna had been napping in what was called the 'garden' just outside the Vongola complex; it was a hidden oasis full of wildflowers and a small and gentle river. No one really knew where it was, but the Vongola guardians and those who worked within the complex enjoyed spending their breaks there.
"Guess what's on its way, Vongola?" The man was deceptively calm, and Tsuna would later swear he had the lightness of laughter in his voice.
He would also realise later that Shamal was laughing at the inevitable screech that left Tsuna's lips and the sound of panic as he fell off the bench he had been sleeping on and proceeded to all but fly back to the base.
"Calm down, Tsunayoshi." Shamal had chuckled, having grown fond of the brunet, "Everything's normal, she's only just gone into labour. Gather your guardians and you can wait in the lounge."
Tsuna did just that, and ignored the laughter that was a prelude to Shamal hanging up the phone. Within half an hour Tsuna, Reborn and all Tsuna's guardians, save Kyouya who was trying to get back from a business meeting in Tokyo, were waiting in the custom lounge. Reborn chuckled under his breath as Tsuna pacing back and forth in front of some very anxious guardians.
"Calm down, Dame-Tsuna. Shamal knows what he's doing. No need to wear yourself out."
Reborn actually chuckled at the embarrassed, incredulous look his student sent him. Tsuna didn't stop pacing though, and they all settled for the labour, however long it would be.
It was six hours later that they finally got a sign that the labour was over. It was just past six o'clock in the morning when Shamal finally strode out of the maternity ward doors with a small, wriggling orange package in his arms. A proud smile on his lips, like a doctor who had done a particularly good job.
"Looks like you're bloodline did it again, Vongola." Shamal chuckled. "Say hello to your new son Tsunayoshi. Born on February 28th at 4:36 AM and weighing a healthy six pounds, three ounces. He is the picture of health; you're a lucky man."
Tsuna stood and strode towards the doctor, nervous and excited all at once, but he stopped short of taking his baby. Suddenly all the fears and nervousness that had him breaking down to Reborn every few weeks were at the forefront of his mind.
He didn't even know how to hold his baby.
Shamal smiled almost unnoticeably before placing the young boy against his father's chest. Tsuna's arms instinctively lifted to frame the orange bundle, and Shamal only had to tap Tsuna's elbow so that he was holding his son correctly.
"My…son?" He asked, and no one could deny the blubbering sob rattling in Tsuna's chest at the word.
Before anyone was really ready for it, Tsuna moved the blanket a little to peer down at the small child staring up at him with beautiful brown eyes. He smiled the softest, most beautiful smile any of the guardians had seen on his face in a long time, and even as he leant down to kiss his son's forehead they couldn't help but grin themselves.
"Welcome to the family, Yoshinobu." Tsuna near enough sobbed. The smell of baby and the softness of the skin settled in Tsuna's stomach and he felt the tears choke him as they travelled down his face. "I hope you grow to love us as much as I already love you."
Reborn smiled gently under the shadow of the fedora, not teasing his ward for the tears that fell unashamed from his eyes. He watched with interest as the guardians tried to get close, only for Tsuna to shift here and there, unconsciously keeping his son out of view.
Reborn almost chucked at the surprised looks on the guardians' faces, and the subtle glint in Ryohei and Takeshi's eyes as he tried to get a better look.
Instead Reborn turned to a grinning Shamal. "Tell that vile woman that her money will be transferred by the time she leaves the hospital and that she will never see us again; remind her that we are never to see her again either."
After that, and once Tsuna's fiercely protective instinct calmed down, all the guardians had a turn to hold their new nephew.
That was how Yoshinobu came into Tsuna's life. It was sudden and bitter because Kazuna had denied all physical, emotional, and financial presence in Yoshinobu's life. She had refused custody and responsibility of her son, and refused to ever see him. She wanted this segment out of her life.
It hurt Tsuna more than he liked to admit; Kazuna had been the first person he opened himself up to so physically and spiritually. He had thought that she would understand when he wanted to keep the child, but she had not and had reacted completely differently than he had expected.
Tsuna didn't know whether losing his partner was worth gaining a son, though he supposed he was going to find out.
Suddenly he was aware of his son being lifted from his arms, and a mug pressed into his empty hands. Looking up he watched as Takeshi rocked and fed Yoshinobu with the bottle Tsuna had made, and to his left Hayato was sipping at a mug of hot chocolate. Apparently Tsuna hadn't even started feeding his son.
"You were spacing out, Tsuna." Takeshi chuckled as he tipped the bottle some more. "That hasn't happened in a while."
"Sorry, sorry." Tsuna rubbed the back of his head. "I was just thinking about Yoshi's mother."
Tsuna almost felt the snap of tension in the air at the mention of Kazuna; he didn't chastise his guardians though, because they were protective of both Tsuna and Yoshi, it was unfair to tell them off for such.
"She's not worth it, Tsuna-sama." Hayato breathed, and Tsuna wanted to commend his storm for reining in his temper. "Neither you, nor Yoshi-sama need her anyway. Useless bitch." The last bit was mumbled around his mug.
Once Yoshi was finished, Hayato took him from Takeshi and began patting his back to get a burp out. Tsuna watched with a gentle smile, growingly glad that he wasn't alone in raising his son. That he'd never be alone in anything he ever did again.
"Did I do the right thing?" Tsuna sighed as he watched his son drift off in Hayato's arms. "I'm not a good enough boss, never mind thinking I was going to be a good enough father."
Even thought he had Yoshinobu for over six months, Tsuna still didn't think himself good enough. He saw all his faults and not many of his assets. The guardians could see those triumphs though, because they all thought Tsuna a brilliant father.
"You certainly didn't make it easy for yourself, Tsuna." Takeshi chuckled, drinking from his own mug of hot chocolate as if it weren't four in the morning.
Tsuna grinned, because Reborn had said something incredibly similar when Tsuna had broken down during Kazuna's sixth month of pregnancy. Greif, unease and a lack of confidence had Tsuna making himself physically ill over the stress. Reborn had knocked some sense into him though.
"Besides, we're all here for you, Tsuna-sama."
Tsuna had been pulled to Reborn's chest, crying and near hysterical as the Hitman rubbed gently circles on the boy's back. When Tsuna was calm, the Hitman had clocked him on the back of his head with a familiar chuckle.
"You've never taken the easy road, Tsuna." He had sighed. "But you've also never been alone in your decisions or your fights. You aren't this time either."
Tsuna grinned at the memory, and he watched as Takeshi ran upstairs to have a shower since it would seem they wouldn't be getting too much more sleep that morning. The three of them would probably take a nap with Yoshi after meeting with Dino.
"Do you think he's going to suffer, Hayato?" Tsuna asked with a sigh that made Hayato frown. It was a guilty sigh that Tsuna used when the weight of the world was on his shoulders; even if Tsuna didn't know it. "Do you think it would have been better he not been born than have a single father who is a mafia boss?"
Hayato could hear the near desperation in his voice and knew that he needed reassurance, and not the soothing torrent of rain that Takeshi would have given him.
"I think that Yoshi is the luckiest boy alive, Tsuna." Hayato smiled, rocking his surrogate nephew. "Not many mafia men are willing to take on their bastard children, and certainly not fight for them. He's going to be proud to know that you fought so hard for him. He has us all to raise him, you'll never be alone, Tsuna."
"I just wish it would have worked out." Tsuna sighed again, he was not so much in love with Kazuna anymore, more hurt and angered by her attitude towards their son. He still remembered the love he held for her though, and that was hard to get over. "Mostly for Yoshi's sake."
"Well she was a moron anyway, Tsuna-sama." Hayato scoffed as he cradled Yoshinobu to give Tsuna a longer break. "You're better without her. You and Yoshinobu are."
"Did you just call Kazuna a carrot, Hayato?" Tsuna asked, stifling a laugh.
"Well... she was a vegetable, Tsuna-sama."
A silence settled over them with Tsuna grinning broadly, unrestrained. Suddenly the smile vanished and Tsuna took on a curious look instead.
"When did you learn Welsh, Hayato?"
"When the baseball idiot picked up Russian. He understood all my insults again so I had to pick a new language he wouldn't recognise."
Tsuna was on the floor, clutching his stomach faster than Hayato could blush in embarrassment at the confession. Yoshinobu, as if prompted by his Papa's happiness, started giggling in Hayato's arms, reaching up to pat his Uncle's reddening cheeks. Takeshi walked back in none the wiser, infected by Tsuna's laughter as he always was.
"What's happened? Tell me!" He asked as he entered. He was only greeted by a teary-eyed Tsuna who was still laughing, and those weird insults that Hayato kept throwing at him; he really did need to learn that language so he understood.
Tsuna felt the tears burn in the back of his eyes, his chest started heaving and he wanted to sob with all his might. The feeling of not being able to control himself only proved to frustrate him and make him want to break down more.
Unsure of what to do, feeling more lost than ever Tsuna did the only thing he could do; he grabbed his phone off his dresser and dialled one of the eight most familiar numbers in his mind.
"Kyouya," Tsuna cursed when he heard the sob in his chest making his words uneven and weak. "Please, please can you come over." Tsuna sobbed some more, he was aware of Yoshinobu's crying getting louder, the child's intuition flaring against a mind that didn't understand as it reacted to his father's turmoil. "Please, I need you here."
It was probably Tsuna's desperation, or the trust and friendship they had kindled over the years, but Kyouya's even voice drifted over the receiver and Tsuna's chest instantly unknotted. "I'll be there in ten minutes, Tsunayoshi. You're in your private suite I expect." And without waiting for an answer the line died and Tsuna fell to his knees, still sobbing subtly and rocking his son; tying vainly to get him to clam down.
He felt lost, sick, and tired. He felt as if he was doing everything wrong; like he was a failure of a boss and a father.
Yoshinobu had started crying at about two that morning, and no matter what Tsuna did he couldn't stop his wailing; he didn't need changing, he didn't want to hear Tsuna's singing, he had refused both the bottle and his pacifier, rocking him didn't work, reading to him didn't work, trying to sleep didn't work. Nothing. Worked.
Kyouya arrived before the ten minutes were up, and his eyes subtly widened as he watched Tsuna practically broken down on the floor with his child clutched to his chest. Kyouya's first instinct had him striding over and allowing Tsunayoshi to cling to him, he allowed the boy –because people fucking forgot that they all were still boys and girls –before he brought Tsuna to his feet and took Yoshinobu from his arms.
"Go cool yourself off, Tsuna." Kyouya soothed as he ran a hand through Tsuna's hair. He usually hated being so touchy-feely with anyone. It was always easier with Tsuna –he was like a small animal –but right now Tsuna needed comforting. "I'll wait here and look after Yoshinobu, just cool yourself off and get your head straight before you come back, Omnivore."
Tsuna nodded with only a slight catch of panic and unwillingness in his eyes as he passed Kyouya towards the training room where he could just have a private session to release all the pent up stress and emotion.
"T-thank you, K-Kyouya."
"Hn."
It was four hours before Tsuna finally dragged himself out of the training room. Reborn had been waiting outside, and with only a glance at Tsuna's dishevelled, scorched appearance, he cordoned off the training room for repair. He then grabbed Tsuna's arm and took him to his private quarters where Tsuna showered before sitting with Reborn on the couch.
"What did I tell you about being dame, Tsuna?" Reborn almost hissed at his student.
Tsuna was much calmer now, the panic was gone and only a soft embarrassment was left. He was always overly emotional, and now that Yoshinobu was in his life, his hyper intuition was much more prominent. Too prominent for a nearly twenty year old; it overwhelmed him with chattering birds and sparks whenever anything remotely threatening to Yoshinobu happened. Now that the boy was learning to walk Tsuna was under near constant assault from his intuition as it narrowed in on his heir. It drove Tsuna near insane, and he realised that he had more than just average 'teenage father' issues to contend with. Tsuna was the youngest father in Primo's side of the family, and the Vongola were seeing why now.
"I'm sorry Reborn." Tsuna placated, still a little embarrassed, "It literally came out of nowhere."
Reborn sighed through his nose, because he damn well knew that Tsuna couldn't control it when it came on so quickly and strongly. He would learn in time, but given he wasn't even emotionally mature himself, having this added issue with Vongola intuition and an inherent protective instinct was not something that could be helped; much.
"Why did you call Kyouya? Surely calling Takeshi or Chrome would have been more beneficial."
Reborn only mentioned Chrome because the woman had brilliant maternal tendencies, and she was quick to sooth Yoshinobu when Tsuna wasn't around or couldn't.
"I couldn't call Hayato or Takeshi." Tsuna sighed. "They've been having confidence issues lately and I couldn't let them see me that panicked; any other time would have been fine, but I was ridiculously hysterical this time. It would have broken something inside them to not be able to help me. They would have worried about me and not Yoshi, who was most important right then." Tsuna paused and sighed through his nose fondly. "Chrome is away with Ken right now, I couldn't disturb their rare moments of peace."
Reborn smiled, and Tsuna was happy to see his expression soften. Reborn had taken to removing his fedora around Tsuna recently; Tsuna would never tell Reborn how happy that made him.
"Well, it seems like you're finally becoming a good boss, Tsuna." Reborn smiled softly. "And all it took was you becoming a father for it to happen."
"What do you mean you took Yoshinobu to your meeting with the Vongola Council?" Iemitsu asked with a scandalized tone. He and Tsuna were sitting in CEDEF's lounge where Tsuna had come to visit with Yoshinobu. Yoshinobu was currently with Colonello, the man being a saint with children, while Tsuna and Iemitsu talked Vongola business.
Whatever shortcoming Iemitsu had as a father he was making up for by being an amazing, protective, and understanding grandfather.
"Well all the guardians were away on missions or their downtime, I couldn't interrupt that." Tsuna shrugged. "Especially because it was only the Council and not an ally meeting. Dino-nii really loves Yoshi, and Enma is getting used to him; though I had to trying to convince Byakuran that marshmallows weren't good for babies at Yoshi's age." Tsuna laughed. "Even Xanxus chuckled at Byakuran's disappointed expression."
"Why did you not just leave him with one of the maids? I assumed Nono gave you a selection to chose from when Yoshinobu was born." He continued, still surprised by this turn of events.
"What are you blabbering about, baka? I don't have maids to do that kind of thing." Tsuna chuckled, as if Iemitsu had made a really common but hilarious mistake.
"Why didn't you say so? I'll get you one within three days!" His father brightened up, it wasn't his son being stupid; he just didn't have the correct facilities to look after his son during meetings.
"Dad, really? I don't have maids to look after Yoshi because I don't want any. I turned down Grandpa's offer politely and he hasn't offered since." Tsuna smiled understandingly, that was why his father was so paranoid, obviously.
Iemitsu looked at Tsuna like his son had just told him that he murdered an entire village and Tsuna had to pause in surprise. "Dad?"
"Tsunayoshi, I thought we taught you better than that!" He almost yelled. "How could you inconvenience your allies like that, or put Yoshi at risk in such a way! That kind of behaviours is unbecoming of a Vongola boss; even if you're not officially the boss yet."
"Dad, what the hell are you talking about?" Tsuna asked, completely confused by his dad's outburst. "You know that none of my Council care, they are more concerned about Yoshi than something as stupid as an image."
"…Stupid? Tsunayoshi!" His father actually raised his voice this time. "Famiglia image is an important thing, if people got word that you brought your bastard son to your meetings there would be more scandal then there already is!"
Tsuna listened to his father's rant with eyes that slowly grew colder as they dyed with instinctive fire. He knew where his father was coming from, but his childish side –the part of him that still resented Iemitsu for abandoning him all those years ago –despised and writhed at the insult. But Tsuna had grown since then, and having a son of his own opened his eyes to the protective fury that surely assaulted Iemitsu all the time; even if his intuition was much more dilute than Tsuna's.
"Iemitsu," His father froze because it was when Tsuna was talking as a boss that he called his father by name. Iemitsu was still the current external advisor, but upon Tsuna's inheritance he will be retired from the position; though will still work under Tsuna. "I will ask you only once to not criticize how I raise my son, or conduct my council given your own actions during my youth."
Iemitsu felt burning shame at being scolded so thoroughly by his own son. He felt humiliation because for all his excuses, Tsuna was right, and the fury in his eyes halted Iemitsu's tongue.
"Of course, Decimo." he answered gruffly, but was surprised when Tsuna's eyes softened minutely to that wonderful swirling gold.
"Dad, I understand now that I have son of my own exactly what you went through while I was growing up." Iemitsu looked at his son with interest and anticipation, because there was still anger in his tone. "You chose to keep Mom and me away from you to keep us safe and I cannot judge you for that because I don't have a choice in that matter.
"Dad, I appreciate what you did now that I'm older. I actually think you are the one who isn't appreciating what I'm doing. I'm learning from you Dad; what I can accept for Yoshinobu and myself. I'm not about to let him be raised by strangers when I am here and capable."
Iemitsu looked on star struck as Tsuna stood instinctively and with no seeming reason to stride to the door. He opened it to a very surprised Colonello who held a fussing Yoshi. Tsuna grinned at the man's frazzled expression –man because the curse was broken years ago and Verde had managed to hasten their aging –and tapped the side of his head.
"Father's instinct." He grinned and Colonello just laughed boisterously before handing the twenty-year-old his son.
"Little twerp was good as gold." Colonello chuckled at the hand off. "Might want to keep him away from Reborn though, he loves guns, kora." With that and a quick nod to the current CEDEF head, he was gone back to training before his fiancé kicked his ass.
"Dad, I've forgiven you and I've accepted this path that you never really intended for me to walk." Tsuna smiled down at Yoshi as the baby gripped his shirt and babbled at him. "But do not mistake my intentions; I am not following in your footsteps. Yoshi's wellbeing will always come before Vongola's well being. I am not the leader of a Famiglia, but a Family."
Tsuna rocked gently from side to side, a light hum on his lips as Yoshinobu finally settled and his crying stopped. The baby gripped at Tsuna's dress shirt with one hand and held his blanket with another. He lulled at the rocking and Tsuna smiled softly.
For all the sleepless nights; all the angry snapping at his guardians; and the threats from other –stupid, so eternally stupid –famiglia, Tsuna was glad that he had stopped Yoshinobu's mother from terminating him.
Tsuna strode over to the rocking chair in the corner of his room in the underground base, and sat down with the hum still on his lips.
"Pa… paa." He heard Yoshinobu mumble under his breath, the boy had just began to talk and Papa was his first true word.
The swell of pride in Tsuna's chest when his son –his son –had called his Papa for the first time knew now limits nor regrets. All the pains of being a single, teenage father in the process of raising and purifying a bloody mafia were forgotten during peaceful moments like this one.
Tsuna smiled and let the hum die away; instead he concentrated on his son's even breathing, and the rocking of the chair. It wouldn't hurt to catch a few hours of sleep; he knew Hayato or Reborn would come to get him if he was really needed.
Soooo this was a challenge from my Ryuu-fukutaichou, also known as Darkened Shadowed Dragon…This came out of pretty much nowhere and was fun to write.
Also, the 'moron' joke that Hayato made is a play on Kazuna's name, which means 'one vegetable' in Japanese, and 'moron' which means Carrot in Welsh…because I totally remember all my Welsh lessons from GCSE….yeah…
Now, the idea of the Vongola Council is one I've borrowed from ChripChrip1827 from her 'Like a Boss' series which is a favourite drabble of mine. I'd read it if I were you because it's really good. Essentially the council is made up of Tsuna's advisor, and the three closest allies and they help make decisions that majorly affect Vongola and/or by consequence the allies famiglia. Essentially. If you want to know more go read Chirp-chan's story.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that. Please review since this was really fun to write.
'Til next time.
~~Bleach-ed-Na-tsu :3