Title--Avoided., Chap 1--Re-written
By-Angel
Pairing---Johnny/Dallas
Warnings----Slash, Language, Drugs, Drinking
Disclaimer---No claim, No own.
A/N: Bold: Dally's POV
Normal: Johnny's POV
Italics: 'Thoughts'
It was a sunday, in the middle of August, when I realized that I was in love with Dallas Winston. That morning, I had awoken to a huge headache, due to my father's beating the night before, when I suddenly realized I felt weird. At first I thought it was some kind of sickness, so I decided to forget about it and get dressed. But as I headed out towards Ponyboy's house, I saw Dallas talking to some greaser girl and my heart flipped. I could hear it beating fast in my ears, and when I saw Dallas look at me, I think he might have heard it too.
My eyes grew wide as he waved off the girl and jogged towards me. Then, he sort of smiled at me like he already knew, said, "Hey, kid," and walked off. Just as I was about to go back on my way to Pony's house, he turned back and yelled, "See you at Darry's!" before hopping into some car he most likely hot-wired.
I swear I thought I heard my heart blow up in fireworks at the thought.
Great...I'm going crazy.
I shook my head and laughed, knowing that that would be sort of a let down, considering how much I go through. Going crazy because Dally looked at me? Yeah... That's surely going to be logical when people asked what happened.
As I neared to the Curtis household, I tried to escape the excitement building up.
Then I remembered talking to Pony a while back when he asked if I had ever been in love. I recalled saying no, and he went on saying how it's the most amazing feeling you could have. I brushed him off then, because I was sure I would never feel like that... But now? Almost everything he said, I'm feeling. Kind of weird, since I don't even know who I am 'in love' with.
Realization stuck me like thunder in a wide field. I felt everything around Dallas. Like Pony said, I felt on fire when he touched me...and when he smiled my heart fluttered. So maybe I was in love with him. I tried to remember moments when it was just me and Dallas, so I could see how I acted and stuff. I remembered a lot, and it did looked like I was in love with him. I don't think he noticed at since he still called me kid, and protected me like a big brother ought to.
But still... I'm a guy and he's a guy. I never knew I was queer, but I'm sure as hell he isn't. If I ever told him... I don't even want to think about how he'd act.
Why do things always have to get so complicated?
My feet neared Pony's door and my brain was overloaded with thoughts. I didn't want the other guys to worry, or else they'd ask questions. So I decided to play ... I mean, how hard can that be?
Johnny has been kind of weird lately. Every time I try to talk to him, he turns his head or makes up some excuse. Do I stink or something? I'm sure I didn't make him mad, but what's making him blow me off? How can I say sorry for something I don't know I did? Was he upset I was talking to that girl earlier? Did he like her or something? That doesn't sound right, though, since Johnny said he didn't like those types of girls.
Damn, that kid's too complicated.
I saw another bruise on his arm, and I wanted to take down the mother that did it. I remembered after I had gotten a cig, and was smoking it in the lot, that it was most likely his pops. I put out my weed and headed towards Johnny's house, but then the little voice in my head warned of me of Johnny's feelings.
I hate that voice.
So, I decided to go back to Darry's, figuring at least there I wouldn't be tempted to kill Johnnycake's son-of-a-bitch for a father. Walking in, I was caught up in Johnny's big, black eyes. His hair was a bit ruffled up and he had the jacket Pony gave him last Christmas on.
Before I knew what I was doing, I smiled at him before fisting a hand in my hair...trying to keep my cool. Steve was looking at me weird, and Two-Bit just sat there smirking, the fucker. What the hell does he think he knows? Nothing, that's what.
I don't know if Dallas has noticed I ain't gonna talk to him, but if he hasn't...he ain't that bright. He seems to buy it, but I can see a little hurt in his eyes. I didn't want that. But I didn't want it to become obvious now that I like him.
I don't know what I want anymore.
Ever since I found these feelings, I've been scared of everyone finding out I'm a queer, It's been a little hectic.
Add onto that fact that Pops still beats me, and my mother just sits and watches, in fear or enjoyment, I don't know. I swear I'm surprised he wasn't a greaser, the way he hits. It hurts like hell, especially when he's really drunk or him and Mom argue about something. Dallas usually sees my bruises and helps me fix myself up before going to Darry's and having him check on me, too. Then he leaves to go beat someone up because he knows I won't let him hurt my pops, no matter how many times he has asked.
Just thinking about it gives me a headache. I'm sick of Dallas looking at me, and Pony mumbling things like, "What's wrong?" or, "Wanna talk about it?" As much as I appreciate his concern, I don't think he'd understand.
I got up and grabbed my cigs from the table before waving everyone off and heading out the door. The lot was calling my name and so was this weed in my hand.
Before I could even get up and talk to the kid, he got up in a huff and walked off. Damn it, how the hell am I suppose to figure out what's going on if he keeps running off?
Closing my eyes, I ignored Two-Bit snickering and Steve looking confusedly between me and Two-bit. One night, while I was drunk...I sort of told him I liked Johnny a bit. Ever since, he's been teasing me about it, and if Darry wouldn't get so upset about me kicking his ass in his house, well...You can only imagine.
Opening my eyes, I glared at Two-bit before walking out of the house.
I need a damn aspirin.
See? I finally got it edited. Thanks to my new beta for this story, Marauder and the Q, who has done a excellent job, and given wonderful advice on my work. No words may express my gratitude.