Hello, I'm still working on my FFCC fanfic, but I'll get back to that later. For right now, I'm going to review the infamous master piece of shit known as, "My Immortal". It's a terrible, poorly written Harry Potter fanfiction basically about a vampire who goes to Hogwarts and falls in love with Draco Malfoy. I'm going to give you my thoughts on this horrible story. So, enjoy.
Chapter 1.
AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way(Hahaha)) raven, bloodytearz666 (666? WTF!) 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling(Then why does your spelling still suck?). U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!(Learn how to fucking spell)
Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness(What's with the apostrophe?) Dementia Raven Way(Who the hell names their kid that?) and I have long ebony black hair(Even though 'ebony' and 'black' mean the same thing) (that's how I got my name(Huh? You mean you were born with long black hair? Last time I checked, babies were born bald)) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee(Hahaha… who the shit is that?) (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!(As much as I want to, I promised I'd review this crappy story, so there)). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie(WTF? Why would you want to be related to someone you're in love with? That's kinda fucked up). I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin(Aren't all vampires like that?). I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England(Hogwarts is in Scotland, you moron) where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen(Uh, no shit dumbass. Everyone at Hogwarts goes to their seventh year at seventeen)). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell(NAH, REALLY!)) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there(All of your clothes?). For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots(Who the hell cares what you're wearing? And who the fuck wears combat boots to school? ). I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow(That's a lot of makeup!). I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun(No shit), which I was very happy about. A lot of preps(What's a prep?) stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them(Ouch. That's harsh, don't you think? All they did was stare at you! Jeez, we're barely into this story, and I already hate this person).
"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!(That suspenseful pause was unnecessary)
"What's up Draco?" I asked.
"Nothing." he said shyly(Shyly? Why is Malfoy out of character? Last time I checked, he was an asshole to everybody in the books ).
But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.
(That's it? Even the first chapter to my fanfiction is longer than this!)
AN: IS it good?(No, it's a piece of shit!) PLZ tell me fangz!