hello. okay this is just a really short one shot/drabble dealing with ron and hermione...mainly because i was bored, and because i needed a break from blaise & tom riddle (as much as i love them). let me know what you think. wrote this kind of late at night, will probably fix it/edit/change in the next couple days. title is from the song by seabear.

Lost Watch

and i'm all screwed up, but i feel alright. sinking deeper all the time inside a hole deep in my mind. but i love you, i love you more than life

- love you more than life x neutral milk hotel

Something that Ron always remembered was the way she said his name. He had never thought that his name could change so much depending on the day, the time, the latest fight they had. It had always sounded coarse to him, a rough three-letter reminder. When he bit out the name to himself it sounded harsh, monosyllabic, heavy.

But Hermione could roll it off the tip of her tongue with an unfiltered grace. At times it would sound so soft that it would swim and soar into the air. Even when she said it with anger in her voice (a Ronald! that would ring through the common room) her voice would drip with soprano honey. Sometimes he would pester her gently, only slightly, if only to here the ringing note. And as she moved away and it hung effortlessly in the air he thought his heart would fall with the heaviness of love. He had never liked his name until she said it.

Ron always had thrived most when he was alone. The chaos of the Weasley home was often overwhelming, and he would escape to his memories rather than endure the shouting. It wasn't that he was slow, or that he didn't understand what was going on. He was just always somewhere else, somewhere where he could allow the moments to sift through him as if he were a sieve.

But when Ron was with Hermione he felt calm, finally. She had become his home, his place of quiet isolation. She was a place that he could think, where he felt that he be his true self. But he would always stumble and falter under her clear gaze. She would never realize her perfection, only his countless mistakes. Her unknown grace was so fragile that it might collapse under the realization of her own beauty.

When he watched her, when she thought he wasn't looking, he wanted to dive into her soul. To make her realize that he was so much more, that he could offer so much more. It was just that when she looked at him he lost the three eloquent words that always blossomed at the tip of his tongue. Instead, he would stutter out something that she would grow angry at and he would feel empty when she twirled away in anger.

When she was gone, Ron would still feel her as if she were next to him. She was his phantom limb, his missing arm that he could still sense with every fibre of his own being. He wished he could fall apart and sleep forever, to drift away in a thousand bursts of air that could blend with what she breathed- if only to be close to her. What he wished most however was that he could overcome his fear, that he could fold himself around her, that he could be free.

Instead, Ron just settled for another ache in his heart when Hermione laughed and said his name again in a burst of pure joy. And when she was gone, he would watch her retreating back and his heart would break under his own cowardice.

why do these always look so much longer when i write them? oh well. anyway, please let me know what you think. if anyone reads my other stories- updates coming soon. maybe. no kidding, soon. probably. maybe. xx