A/N – Hi! It's been awhile since I wrote Delena, but after this last episode (3x14) I just had to write something with angst. I've wanted to use "Over You" by Miranda Lambert to do a song fic for awhile, and today it just sort of all came together for me. Flashbacks are in italics and lyrics are in bold and italics. If you read, leave me some feedback! Who knows, if I get a bunch, I might be inspired to write for this couple more often! Someone should write for them...
Disclaimer: Song lyrics belong to Miranda Lambert and the characters are property of other people, too. I just borrowed them to do things that would put my creative mind at ease for a few hours.
Over You
Elena looked outside at the gray skies that seemed to stretch for miles from the view in her apartment. Her fancy, New York City apartment. It was something Damon always said she should have one day. She knew when he said that she should have it, he meant they should have it. But he was never one to push. At least not where her feelings for him were concerned.
"New York," he said honestly.
"That was your favorite place to live?" Elena asked in surprise. "Why?"
"Oh, come on, you've read F. Scott Fitzgerald," Damon said, rolling his eyes. "Where do you think he got his inspiration?"
"So you're telling me that one of the most recognized characters in American fiction is based on a vampire?" Elena questioned skeptically.
"I didn't say Scottie knew I was a vampire," Damon replied, smiling at her in his patronizing fashion.
"So you think I should live on Long Island, huh?" Elena wondered, shaking her head at him.
"No, the city is much better," Damon answered, his eyes brightening as a smile came to her face.
"The city is where the affair took place," Elena noted.
"So it was," Damon smirked, winking playfully.
She looked across the skyline and caught sight of the Empire State Building. The heart was shining on each side as it did every Valentine's Day, or so she heard. This was her first Valentine's Day since...
She didn't know what was so hard about the cold winter air. Or the love that was in the air. She did know. But she liked to pretend like she wasn't aware of what was out there. Of the memories that she tried to outrun everyday.
"A hint?" Elena requested.
"You should just know," Damon insisted, taking a swig of his bourbon. "I told you what I was getting you months ago."
"You talk incessantly," Elena muttered.
"Ouch," Damon groaned, playfully grabbing at his heart. "Try a stake next time, it'll hurt less."
"What is it, Damon?" Elena asked.
"It's a present," Damon smiled. "Open it."
She tugged at the string to untie the bow. Then carefully tore into the wrapping paper, earning a scowl from Damon.
"Did no one ever teach you how to open presents?" Damon wondered.
"I'm enjoying it," Elena countered. "It's not every day you dazzle me with gifts."
"I'm not dazzling you now," Damon joked. "If you think there's a diamond in there, you're sadly mistaken. I don't like you that much."
"Ouch," Elena said, mocking his earlier actions.
"I'm a much better actor," Damon teased.
Elena rolled her eyes and finally got the gift open. She should have known. It was the locket of his mom's she had found in his room that he had promised to leave to her in his will.
"You're not dead," Elena noted, meeting his eyes as he took a seat across from her on the coffee table.
"No, I'm not," Damon agreed, lifting the locket out of the box. "But I decided it would be a pity if I never got to see you wear it."
She turned and sat in front of him, allowing him to secure the locket around her neck.
"You have to make me a promise, though," Damon said softly and seriously, making Elena pay attention.
"Okay," Elena nodded.
"You won't open the locket part until I'm really dead," Damon requested.
"Fine," Elena conceded. "But only if you promise not to die anytime soon."
"I promise," Damon muttered. "No dying before I help you take the Christmas tree down, at least."
"Damon," Elena scowled.
"Lighten up, Elena," Damon teased. "I know you can't live without me. I'm not going anywhere."
He wasn't supposed to go anywhere...
Weather man said it's gonna snow
By now I should be used to the cold
Mid-February shouldn't be so scary
It was only December
I still remember the presents, the tree, you and me
She fiddled with the necklace and took it off hastily as she prepared to finally glance inside the locket. She hadn't been able to do it before, but now was as good a time as any. Now that she was already drowning in her sorrows.
Inside, she found a picture of a time she hardly remembered. So much had been going on with Stefan and his drama of leaving town and leaving her, again. And Damon was steady as always. He had taken her to some ridiculous theme park and they had gotten their pictures taken as they rode the fastest roller coaster.
"Damon, I do not want to buy those," Elena insisted. "I look horrible."
"I think it's cute," Damon shrugged. "It's candid. And, you know, it's nice to know your mouth opens that wide."
"Ugh," Elena groaned, smacking him lightly on the shoulder.
"You're an abusive date," Damon complained as he paid for the pictures.
"This isn't a date," Elena argued.
"What?" Damon asked in mock horror. "I won you three stuffed animals and bought you a funnel cake and you're telling me I'm still not going to get a kiss at the end of the night?"
"No, you're not," Elena said, batting her eyes at him.
"We'll see," Damon muttered, leaning closer to her. "I saw you eying that cotton candy. If you want another sweet treat, I'm going to have to get some sugar from you, sweetheart."
"You can't bribe me into kissing you," Elena replied, standing her ground and sneaking a glance at his lips.
"I won't have to," Damon said confidently, raising an eyebrow at her and turning to walk away.
It just wasn't fair. There was so much she missed. His eyes, his presence. She always felt safe just being in a room with him. She missed his mouth, too. Even when it was turned up in that annoying smirk. How could it be gone...
No one understood the pain of it all for her. That's why she was out of Mystic Falls. No one had understood them, but them. And when it was only her left, she just couldn't be around the people who didn't understand.
"Elena, you've survived so much," Bonnie tried. "I know it's hard-"
"No, you don't know!" Elena cried, burying her head further into the scent of him she had discovered when she curled up in his bed. "You don't know at all!"
"When Stefan left, you didn't react this way," Bonnie noted.
"Stefan wasn't gone forever," Elena replied. "And he left by choice."
"Damon made a choice, too," Bonnie said softly. "He chose you. Don't mourn that choice."
"You just don't get it," Elena said miserably, cuddling with his pillow. "He always chose me. And because of that, he's gone."
Gone. Gone. Gone...
But you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I'll be okay
But I'm not going to ever get over you
She didn't know anyone in New York, which was nice. It was peaceful. She was often alone with her thoughts and with him. Because even though some thought it was crazy, she felt his spirit with her every second.
She set off to visit the place she visited every morning, no matter how cold it was. It was a place where she never felt fear, though for most it would have been an eery place to visit and spend time. But what was there to fear when his presence was with her? Nothing.
"Elena," Damon whispered in the dark, waking her.
"Hey," Elena murmured. "You're not leaving are you?"
"Never," Damon said, having no way to know how soon he would leave her forever. "I just wanted to talk."
"About?" Elena pressed.
"You know you're safe with me, right?" Damon asked, running his hand across her bare shoulder and tucking the sheet around her.
"Of course," Elena smiled. "I've never felt safer than when I'm with you. And last night, when we made love... That was the safest I've been in my entire life."
"As long as you're holding onto me, you're safe," Damon promised, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "You have nothing to fear if you'll just hold onto me."
It had been the first time they made love. After a long wait, she finally gave in to what she had wanted for so long. It didn't seem fair that they had only gotten to love each other once...
As she walked, she listened to Damon's iPod. His favorite songs played one after another and she smiled at the melodies. They were classic songs. Rock, country and even the blues. He never knew she knew his love for the songs and for singing along with them.
"She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean, she was the best damn woman that I ever seen," Damon belted as he swept his room.
Elena couldn't believe those noise canceling headphones she had gotten him actually worked for his special hearing skills. He had no idea she was there and she knew that for sure because if he did, he would have stopped singing immediately.
"The walls start shaking! The earth was quaking! My mind was aching, we were making it!" Damon continued. "And you shook me all night long! Yeah, you shook me all night long!"
She had to admit, while he couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, he looked pretty sexy shaking it as he sang. She wouldn't mind making his earth quake.
She wished she didn't have the iPod at all, really...
Living alone here in this place
I think of you, and I'm not afraid
Your favorite records make me feel better
Cause you sing along
With every song
I know you didn't mean to give them to me
It seemed like yesterday, really. How could it have been over a month? Not that time mattered. It was all irrelevant now that he was gone. Especially because he was gone because of her.
"No," Damon resisted.
"Someone has to pay!" Esther insisted. "Someone has to pay for my family abandoning me."
"It was my idea to lead them away from you," Damon lied. "I even told them about your plan to kill them so they would realize that getting away from you was clearly best."
"I didn't tell you that, I told her!" Esther screamed, trying to rush Elena again, only for Damon to step in between. "I had changed my mind. I wasn't going to kill them."
"Seems like your little family had a trust problem, then," Damon muttered. "It's got nothing to do with Elena."
"You're right," Esther relented, turning away. "But I'm upset all the same."
She turned quickly and paralyzed Damon with her mind. She focused hard until he was unconscious on the ground. Elena tried to step closer to help him, but Esther simply held her away by placing a hand in the air. She used her other hand to pull out the stake she had brought with her.
"Perhaps this will do better than killing you anyway," Esther said, locking eyes with Elena as she plunged the stake into his chest.
Her heart broke as she saw him die again and again and again...
Esther had left so fast and Elena had pulled the stake out, somehow expecting him to revive. He wasn't supposed to die. She had cried there for hours before Alaric found her. He had been the only person who could see their love. Everyone else saw friendship, lust. But Alaric always knew it was more.
"You can't just move to escape a broken heart," Alaric maintained.
"It's what he wanted for me," Elena argued. "How could I not do it?"
"I know it seems impossible now," Alaric said softly. "But you'll get through this. And you'll be okay again one day. But you're only going to make that process harder on yourself by moving away on your own."
"I won't be alone," Elena replied. "He'll be there. It'll just be the two of us, the way it was always supposed to be. I'm just sorry it took me so long to realize that."
"You do realize you sound crazy, right?" Alaric challenged, laughing slightly.
"Yeah," Elena admitted. "Maybe I am. But I'd rather be crazy and able to hang on than the alternative."
"Be safe," Alaric requested, pulling her into a hug. "And call."
She was safe. And he was safely in her heart...
But you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I'll be okay
But I'm not going to ever get over you
She was at her destination. And she could read his name, etched on the epitaph. She had chosen to have it in old fashioned script. The kind she'd imagined would have been used if he had died in 1864 instead of turning. Under his name, there were no years printed. It simply read, "It was always you." To a stranger, it probably made no sense. But they knew what it meant. Wherever he was, he knew. It was always him.
"Are you going after him again?" Damon wondered, watching Elena pick herself up off the ground where she had gone to her knees while begging Stefan to stay.
"No," Elena said stoically. "I've wasted enough time."
"I thought it was always going to be him," Damon muttered.
"Always is a word for a stable person," Elena whispered. "That wasn't Stefan."
"That's not me either," Damon said softly.
"You're more stable than you think," Elena offered, meeting his eyes.
It was always him. Even when she hadn't realized it yet...
It really sinks in, you know, when I see it in stone
"I love you, Damon," Elena smiled, reaching out to run her hand along the cool surface.
She closed her eyes and she felt his arms around her. She felt him whisper in her ear that he loved her, too. She felt his mouth brush across her jaw and steal a kiss at the base of her neck.
How could he be gone when he was still so close? How could he have left her when they were so close to getting everything they were supposed to have? How could she ever move on?
She couldn't...
'Cause you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I'll be okay
But I'm not going to ever get over you