I remember the day I moved to New York. With one suitcase in tow, I only wanted to bring myself to my new life. Everything else just needed to fall into place like I knew it would, or rather, hoped beyond all logical doubt that it would.
Not saying I enjoyed it, but Brittany gave me the final push I needed to get me out of my comfort zone, something I rarely liked doing. When she told me I needed to be somewhere that was as big and as hot as me, honestly, I was terrified. I was worried that was the inevitable end for us, and the unnerving beginning for me. I remember trying to squirm around the idea for a few moments. She didn't understand the world, yet. I barely understood the world, and I had only been a part of the bigger picture for a few months. How was she telling me what we both knew I needed to do? She really is a genius. It's nice to think that I gave myself that final push into the real world, but I know it was Brittany's determined voice that kicked my ass into the life I knew I truly wanted, scary, exciting, and all.
Moving to New York happened on a whim, even though the thought had always been in the back of my mind. It was a dream I didn't want to tarnish by actually chasing it. I didn't want to ruin such a perfect picture I had painted in my head. Nevertheless, I made my way east to my new home. Luckily, I knew Kurt and Rachel were going to NYADA, so I could have a place to crash for a little bit before I found my own place.
Oh, Kurt and Rachel, what a pair. I didn't necessarily want to live with the two drama queens, but they were just about my only option. I made my way up the two flights of stairs until I got to the door after my long drive from Lima, Ohio. With one loud knock I waited for things to start falling arbitrarily into place.
"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked with confusion. Kurt just stood with his hand on the newly opened door with his mouth gaping open.
"I thought you two needed some extra spice with your sugar," I stated with a smirk. "Man hands! Close Lady Hummel's ridiculous mouth, and let me in."
Rachel gave her brows a furrow before finally taking a step back and letting me inside. Kurt still stood by the door with his mouth open as I passed by him. It took him another few moments before he turned on his heel to ask, "Santana! What are you doi-"
"As I just informed the two of you, I thought you needed some extra zing to your zang, or, well, lack thereof, Teen Gay. I was doing one of my amazingly choreographed cheerleading routines in Kentucky when the two of you popped in my head. Reasons, I know not, but it occurred to me how lonely you saps must be without my charisma and sparkling attitude. So, I decided to come check out the infamous New York City whilst simultaneously bringing you two up to speed on how to live your lives with fire and ambition instead of what you were probably doing. Which I see is eating cornflakes and watching Rent on dvd in your pajamas at 3 in the afternoon on a Saturday."
"We are grateful for your consideration, Santana, albeit unnecessarily rude of how you presented your concern, I don't think we understand why you have a suitcase with you…" Rachel puttered.
"Well, I can't teach the two of you an ounce of what I know in an afternoon, now can I? I figured it would take a few weeks, bare minimum, and some added alcohol to start really teaching you guys how to live without quoting Barbara Streisand or a line from a Broadway musical every ten seconds."
Of course I didn't have to sound so harsh towards them, but I couldn't let them or anyone see any hint of fear in my eyes. Using sarcastic remarks with a hint of meanness attached is usually how I got by without anyone noticing the constant insecurities that plagued me. I would never voice these insecurities intentionally, but it doesn't mean that a tinge of them didn't hang on the edge of my words. I doubt anyone even knew I had any insecurities, except for maybe Brittany and Quinn.
The Unholy Trinity was an exception to everything in my life. Brittany and Quinn had spent so much time around me that they became aware of all of the things I chose not to show and everything I tried to hide. They knew my opinions before I voiced them. They knew my hopes before I desired them. They were the only people I could scream at with the knowledge that they understood I wasn't actually mad at them, but more so mad at myself or a particular situation. They understood things about me that no one else tried to understand. They took the time to figure me out. During high school, I only ever went to them with my problems. In the past two years, though, I went more to Brittany than to Quinn, and I knew it hurt our friendship a little. Distance grew between Quinn and I, and it was easier to make more distance than to close it.
Just thinking about Brittany brought a lump in my throat. I'll always be grateful to her, but it doesn't mean that thinking about her won't make my stomach curl a hundred times over.
Standing here with Berry and someone who may be even gayer than me didn't settle the uncomfortable feelings in my gut. They were both just staring at me, probably waiting for my next insult.
"Okay, guys, as fun as it is to just stand here, I've been traveling for upwards of nine hours, and it would be nice to shower before I take you guys out tonight," I said blatantly.
Rachel pointed around the corner and to the back of the apartment. I overheard them talking as I walked out of the living room towards the bathroom.
"So…is she moving in? Are we letting her move in?" Rachel questioned.
"Well, you know Santana. She kind of just does whatever she likes. Maybe she could spice up our life. I mean, we are lounging around in our pajamas watching Rent on a Saturday afternoon," Kurt explained. "Did she say she was taking us out tonight?"
A smirk played on the left side of my mouth. It was hard to resist me when I lay things out on the table like I do. I could already tell they were going to warm up to my idea while I showered. Taking them out tonight would only convince them more that it was a good idea for me to stay with them. New York is where I really want to be, and as much as I don't want to live with the two of them, they are my only option at the moment. Yes, my mami left me some money, but it will take a while for me to find a place to live that isn't ridiculously expensive and to find a roommate that isn't a complete whacko.
I slid off my tank top and bra before I unbuttoned my jeans. I made sure to grab my phone and plug it in so it could charge while I'm showing. I turned on the shower to a nice warm temperature. Being stuck in a car for more than two hours always makes me feel dirty in a way that only a nice warm shower can fully clean me. The water doesn't just clean my skin, but it washes through all of the thoughts that haunt me in the silence of a road trip. Showers have a way of sifting through everything in my mind, whether it be my goals for the day, stupid feelings I have about a tall blonde, lyrics from a new song I heard on the radio, or where to take two of my friends out tonight to convince them to let me stay in their apartment rent free.
I stepped into the shower and pulled the curtain around to close me off from the world. As soon as the water hit my face, my thoughts went directly to Brittany. It seems like she's always on my mind, it's just a matter of clearing everything else away to see her. The whole drive here I couldn't help but think of her. Behind every song was her voice. Every line on the road made me think of her long legs. It seemed like they went on forever, just like the highway I was on. Each time I saw a sign for a silly attraction I thought about how fun it would be to go see it with her hand clasped in mine.
I put the shampoo in my hair and tried not to think about how she used to wash my hair any time I would spend the night at her house and we would shower after we worked up a sweat. I know she told me to go live my life the way I've always dreamed because she truly believes I can be as amazing as I hoped to be, but I miss her. No, I miss the memories.
Right now, I'm letting her faith in me overpower the excruciating fear I have about living in this humungous city trying to chase my dreams on my own. What are my dreams exactly? I know I love being on the stage in front of hundreds of people singing my heart out. I know I want to leave my mark everywhere for everyone to see. Do I want to go back to school? I love cheerleading, but I don't think I want to do that anymore. It seems too high school. Maybe that's why I didn't enjoy it as much in Kentucky. I enjoy acting. Maybe I could try taking some acting and singing classes somewhere in the city. NYU has a great art program for singing and acting. I definitely don't want to go to NYADA. That place just doesn't seem very me.
The overwhelming thought of not having enough money came into my mind. No matter what I want to do, I'm going to have to have money to do it. I'll need money to live somewhere as soon as I get sick of Kurt and Rachel. I'll need money for classes. The conclusion that I needed to find a job tomorrow was taking over my mind. I don't even know where to begin searching for a job. What kind of job do I want? Better yet, what kind of job can I get on the little bit of experience that I have? Thanks to my drinking skills, I know how to mix drinks pretty well, but I'd probably need to find a place that pays under the table if I tried to work at a bar. I'll need to spend all day tomorrow filling out applications.
As the water started to cool, I realized I had already washed my hair twice and washed my body three times. I turned off the water just as I heard two high pitched squeals coming from the other room. Thinking someone was getting murdered, I ran out of the bathroom clad in just a towel around my chest.
I stopped in the middle of the room to see Kurt jumping up and down like the energizer bunny and Rachel squeezing the life out of the one and only Quinn Fabray. Quinn just stood there chuckling as they took in her appearance. What was she doing here? Annoyance started to grow inside of me as I thought about how their screams ripped me from my bathing experience.
"Are you two serious? It sounded like someone was getting hacked up and killed by the screams you guys made. I thought I was going to have to go all Lima Heights on someone's ass in here," I spoke as Kurt and Rachel turned around to see me grimacing at them, but their smiles never faltered.
"Aw, look, she cares," Quinn smirked. "She was going to kick some ass in just a towel for the two of you. That's so sweet of you, Santana."
It occurred to me that I was only in a towel at that moment. For a split second I got nervous and Quinn saw the look in my eyes before I quickly decided that it didn't matter. I was hot in anything, especially in a white cotton piece of fabric. "Yeah, I am sweet. Sweet enough to not want their blood to get all over my suitcase and this nice sofa while they're being chopped up by some crazy psycho."
Quinn curled her lips up just enough for me to tell she wanted to smile, and I could swear she looked me up and down, taking in the fact that my body was still dripping wet and barely covered by a towel. But she's seen me like this a hundred times after cheerleading practice. Why did it seem like she lingered more than any other time? I let the thought leave my mind.
"Though I've asked this twice today, I'm more excited to ask you. What are you doing here, girl?" Kurt asked excitedly, still jumping up and down.
Rachel released Quinn from her tight hug to stand next to Kurt and listen to Quinn's answer.
"I decided to use those Metro North passes I got for me and Rachel to come visit you guys. Also, I have a surprise for the two of you!"
"Yay!" Kurt squealed. "Wait…you're not pregnant again are you?" Kurt stopped his jumping.
Quinn laughed, "No, I'm definitely not pregnant. Actually, I'm going to be a transfer student at NYU next semester. I'll be living five minutes away from you guys. That is, if I can find a roommate in time. Just another reason for my impromptu visit incase seeing you guys wasn't a good enough reason on its own."
"Of course it's a good enough reason! Oh my goodness, we're so excited you're here!" Rachel decided to take over jumping up and down where Kurt left off.
Feeling a little left out of the conversation, I decided to add my two cents. "Since you're here, and, apparently, going to be staying like I am, you might as well get dressed up because I'm taking these two losers out to celebrate my arrival. You're welcome to come if you like," I added with a devilish smirk.
"I would love to. Thank you, Santana. Gosh, I've never seen you act so nice," Quinn giggled.
"Except for calling us losers," Kurt mumbled before returning his gaze on Quinn and smiling once again.
"Well, then, I'm going to go continue getting ready, like I was doing before I was rudely interrupted. Everyone be ready in a few hours. We're going to have a very memorable night," I grinned.
With that, I turned around and started making my way back to the bathroom. I'm going to make sure everyone thoroughly enjoys themselves to the point of them never wanting me to leave. It shouldn't be too hard to do.
As I closed the door of the bathroom I saw my phone light up with a text message. I tripped over my dirty clothes that I laid on the floor and dropped my towel as I picked up my phone to read my message.
QUINN: Nice towel, S. You going to explain why you're here when you take me out later tonight?
A weird feeling washed over me as I read the text.
SANTANA: Well, I'm not wearing the towel anymore because I tripped getting to my phone to read your text. Thanks for that. I'll only tell you if you buy me shots.
QUINN: lol I'm glad I could help you get naked. ;) First round is on me, but then you're buying! Hurry up! I can't wait to hear how you ended up staying at Kurt and Rachel's place.
If anyone else had been in the bathroom with me they would have seen my face blush and a stupid smile plaster my face. Wait, what am I thinking? I can't blush over the thought of Quinn getting me naked, however appealing it may seem. I've already had my heart punched by one blonde; I don't need another one coming along and doing the same. Yet, I still couldn't get the smile to wipe off my face.
I decided to distract myself with plans of tonight. I heard of this great club on the radio on my way over that advertised ladies getting in for free, and you didn't have to be 21, not that that matters since I have a fake I.D. and all, but I'm sure it will help Kurt and Rachel. I'll probably have to get them fakes before the end of the week. All to help convince them to let me stay. It'll be worth it. I have a feeling tonight is going to go spectacularly, especially, if Quinn is there.