As I think back on this unfortunate line of events, I wonder half heartedly if I had made all the right choices, if I picked the right things to say and or do, or weather everything happned for a reason. I guess I should think of the situation and see if the ending I was getting was what should have happened. It started when I met Candice, and what a smile she had.

1993 March 1st

It was a rather cold day in Florida for March first, it wasn't anything out of the normal, but the air had a chill like one I hadn't felt since I was in my youth. Now here I am at the bright age of twenty, and the most accomplished thing I had done was move out of my mother's house and get a name tag for a lower-class convenient store on the corner of a drug-filled housing development; that I happened to live in. I was known around that area as Rage, I had it all at that time, one of the nicer houses, money from dealing drugs, all the acid I could want and enough stashed bud to last a year; But on this day, I was feeling on top of the world, nothing brought me down at that time, but that all changed on this day. God gave me a window, and snapped it closed on the walk to a off rated friends house and I met Candy; short for Candice.

"Jeff?" I said rather loudly after knocking on his door for more than ten minutes, if I only had known what hell was coming from behind that door, but I never really thought before I talked, 'Always seeing the bigger picture'. I could almost hear my mother's words in my head. Before I could think anymore the door cracked and Jeff's head stuck out to see who was standing there.

"Ay there Rage!", a huge goofy smile creep up unto his face like a caterpillar, then in the blink of an eye he had popped his head back in, shut the door, unlocked it and swung it out like he was presenting himself, Jeff had always been a theatrical person, always making a scene. I just stood there and blinked for a moment then I pulled my long hair of a tie in the back of my head; to keep it from getting caught in anything; to cover almost my whole face, the cold chills were starting to eat at my face.

"Well, ya can come on in now", his stance moved to a normal one.

"I'm done with my scene". Overly dramatic.

"Maybe you need to yell 'cut' when your done so I know." Sarcasm.

Soon enough we gave each other a hug and playful head slaps, we seemed to be a dynamic duo. There wasn't a thing in the world; at that time; that could bring me and him down together. As touching that is, I would rather move on. The moment I stepped foot in his house something felt off, I had no clue what it was at the time, but the air in the house was Smokey and it felt like a gas chamber, and then there, at the dining room table; that hardly counted as one; was Candice, aka Candy. The way she sat in that wooden chair gave you the feeling of death and sex mixed into one toxic hard Candy that would slowly rot you from inside out. Let's just say I felt intoxicated by her looks, and a little light headed from the smoke leaning off her cigarettes and drifting out of her mouth like a dark cloud.

"Ay Mate this is Candy," He extended his arm and moved it in her direction, but I was hardly listening to him that I almost forgot to introduce myself.

"Hi I'm Rage." I said this simply, with a natural toned voice, Jeff was picking up of my motives more than I was.

"I'm going to go get the blow, you stay here and watch Candy", Jeff said leaning toward me.

"Watch her?" I asked with a rude tone.

"Ya Rage, watch'er, she could tear your world apart." I took that as an insult.

"Yeah, right." I had cracked my voice for some reason when I said that, as if I were unsure of weather to watch out for safety, or for myself, it wasn't clear at that point what he meant by that.

"I will". I ended the conversation with Jeff without taking my eyes off of her even though she hadn't even taken a look at me yet, I felt an estranged feeling. I walked further into the eggshell white dining room and sat at the chair on the other end of the table; my eyes never left her; and as soon as I sat down she looked up at me from her 'blacker than black' hair with straight edged bangs, and in between the bangs I saw the most amazing eyes I had ever seen, they glimmered like glitter on a table cloth, the color was a as deep blue as the ocean in Miami and it was washing ashore into my mind.

"Why do they call you Rage?" She finely speaks and that's all she could say, but her voice was so soft that it almost made me feel like I was petting a Persian cat with my ears; her voice… lured me in.

"Why do they call you Candy?" That was all I could think of, because every question I could think of was answered by her body. Candy looked down at the table while putting out her cigarette, her hair blacking out her face.

"Isn't it obvious." She then looked up swiftly at me, I could see her face and it seemed as if her skin matched any lighting, as pale as she was, she never blended into the walls, in her red dress with black pumps and fishnet stockings. It was obvious, she was eye Candy. "Now, why do they call you Rage?"

"Because I'm a creep, I'm a weird-o." I said blankly, I would have said more if Jeff hadn't walked into the kitchen. "Hey". I then was broken from what seemed like her whips.

"I've got it mate, here ya are." He handed me the junk and I handed him his cut from the last coke batch, and for some reason while I was leaving I had to glance at her one more time, and at that point I was hooked, then I heard Jeff saying something in the background of my head.

"Huh?" I asked looking blankly at Jeff.

"Ill see ya on the flip side ay?" He then opened the door for me and I left with something I wasn't expecting, and imprint in my mind, Candy.

1993 March, 2nd

It was about 12 am when I left Jeff's house and I didn't feel like going back to my house, at time it felt like I didn't belong in that type of life. When I was younger I used be a pretty boy, I have always had long hair, but after growing into my own skin, the creepy crawlies came out and I was always considered a 'strange' kid; And I had a bad past behind me and not enough of a future in front of me at the time, so I stuck with the loner druge dealing type. At this time I had black hair, and my clothing was all leather, I never needed to wash anything, I would just wipe and clean the leather cloths.

Along the half-assed walk home I came across a construction site that had been there for years so all the bars od what was going to be a new building were rusted. I loved horseing around on that site, the smell of rust was something I had become acoustum to, but for some reason, I felt nothing inside for those rusted bars, it felt like playing on them didn't have a risk factor, as if it didnt matter if I fell to my death, or lived to see another day, everything kind of ment nothing. The only thing I could keep in mind was Candy and how her body curved in all the right places, the way she smells of ciggerttes and sulfer from her matches, and the cherry lip gloss lightly brushed on her lips. God, I had such a mind for detail, and only after meeting her one time the night before, I can remember everything she said and did. Maybe this is what Jeff was talking about, this is what I should have watched out for, and I hadnt yet gone through the extent of what he was saying.

After making it home and crashing on my own couch I awoke to a bad head ach and a churning digestive system. This set me back a little, but I had to rome the streets today, 'Gotta sell the blow!' Jeff says. Then again I never listened to him in the first place, we always play it by ear.

This morning started like any other, I woke up late, cooked an egg, and head banged for about two hours before I made it to the street. I thought it was just another normal day off from work, but it was far from normal. So I set to the hit spot and sold to the normal junkies, and then their friends, and I had always had a safty system with my selling, I need an ID, 'No one under 18'.

Then, in the middle of a pass of I was interupted by the clicking of pumps hitting sidewalk, that sound you would here in school of the teachers walking by the doors. Sooner than I relized she was leaning against the tree I would sit under for hours waiting for my 'apointments'.

"Candy?" I wasn't mad, just surprised. I had always thought that odds were against me, but my whole world was about to crack,

"I didn't mean to..." she paused "Startle you." She gave a soft laugh and walked closer to me.

"You didn't," I said defencively

"Doing some cly and tell?" She asked while lighting a ciggertte. There was that smell that was burnt into my nose, and I only smelled it around her.

"Just making a living," I paused "Other than the Get-n-Go." I couldnt lie to her, it was like she had mind controll and I was under it.

"Your out a little late," I said looking towards her way, she had the strightist hair I had ever seen, and it glissened, even in the street lights.

"Well..." As she paused she inched toward me like a death meachine, but with class. Her hips swivled and curved to fit her latax leather dress with the little red bow in the front, it was my most favored outfit she had,

"Well what?" I said looking her in the eyes.

"Well, I don't have a place to go." She said this with a pouty face and low eyes. It was the face I couldnt say no to, the one that would get me every time.

"You could crash at my place." I said lightly while looking around swiftly.

"Well.." she paused, "I dont want to impose," as she said that she moved her hand from nutural and placed it on my lower arm. She had such a light touch that it always had sent chills down my spine.

"Your-r-r no-t-t." I stuttered, I felt like my words could have be shattered. It wasn't that I didn't mind her staying, I have let meny people crash at my place before, I was just woundering if she was crashing in my bed, or my couch, i thought it didnt matter to her, but it did not me, almost like to diffrent things.

"Thank you," she tilted her head to the side a bit, letting her hair follow her body moment. She had a look about her that felt sinful, and I was eating it up like a tasteful dining dish. She had me at every word when I was around her. I shook my head and got myself down to earth enough to grab her hand and start walking, but I did it slowly, and sure enough she took my hand and it felt as if she was holding it tight. I couldnt help but smile a little, and she caught that, she had smiled back and we walked to my house with our hands locked and soft smiles on our faces.

As we reached my front door I almost forgot to let go of her hand to unlock the door, I had a million locks at that time, Candy hated them.

"You shouldnt have so meny locks," she said looking at the door and my extencive collection of house keys.

"I have them to keep people out," I said while ublocking all the locks.

"But you never know who may want to come in..." She lead that sentance on like a trail as she walked into my house and into the living room. I watched her check my place out and get a feel for it. See I had always had a strange since of humor and in what I thought looked cool. Once again, Candy... hated it.

"Tacky," was all she could say before heading down the hallway to my room, which had a pad-lock on it too.

"Another lock?:" She said looking down the hallway at me.

"Yup." As blunt as can be. She just shook her head and pulled a hair pin out of her hair and unlocked the paded door lock. I felt a bit disturbed that she could do that, and yet I felt excited at the same time. I was never one to take risks, not with my house, safety or my personal stuff, but I was letting her in, and she was getting past every lock. She soon walked into my room was suited to my likeing. Covered in posters, drawing's and album coveres, I had a black bed with a black wooden frame and lime green as the hint of color, and even this, Candy hateded.

"Hmm..." was all she could say about it, as if she didn't aprove, at that time I wasnt going to give up my life style, but I would be soon forced to. While walking into the bed room I shut the door behind me and walked over to my dresser to pick out something to were to bed, Candy just watched me and as soon as I took my shirt off she locked the door and the dead bolt to my bed room door. I paused to say something, but before I could get anything else she walked over to me ; her hips and body so inscince.

"So..." she said putting her hand softly on the side of my face.

"Where's the 'lady' of the house." She looked dead into my soul without even trying, I couldnt hid anything if I wanted to.

"I don't have one..." I said rather blankly,

"Girls never found me to be Boy Friend metrial." I looked up to her eyes, "Im not 'speical'" As soon as that came from my mouth she lifted my head to her level. She softly ran her soft finger over my cheek and lips, making sure to stop for a moment at my lips, then she pulled me close to her. Right then I had a feeling inside I had never felt before, one that made me feel like I belonged, So I put my feeling's into action, I pulled her closer and she kissed my lips ever so softly, but enough to leave a red lipstick stain on my lips. Her other hand trailed my body as a snake would for a snake charmer I moved to her moves, I decieded at that moment to make the next move, I pushed her body against mine, I could feel her breasts pressing against my chest, I kissed her with more passhion than I had ever kissed someone, my lips moved to hers, I tasted her tounge in my mouth as I moved my toung around I felt her toung ring, which sent a chill down my spine once again, I kissed her harder as she wraped her arms around my neck, then I pulled her left leg over mine and laid her down softly on my bed and I crept up her silky skin with my hand leading over her thigh and around her hips at that time I wanted nothing more than to be inside her, phicialy and mentaly, I wanted to be a passanger on her rollarcoaster life.