A/N: My plan to write a short one-shot developed into a very long one as I just couldn't stop writing. This isn't a happy fic...at first, so I hope you stick with me to the end. Thanks for reviews and your encouragement!
"What are you doing here, Will?" Sonny asks as Will walks right up to the front counter and takes a seat. He watches Will make himself comfortable, as if nothing has happened between them. As if this was just any normal Thursday afternoon.
"I'm just wondering how you are doing."
"Really, Will? You want to know how I'm doing? Well, I'm afraid that is no longer any of your business." Sonny's Greek temper flares. He has chosen to channel his heartbreak as anger instead of grief. And he's doing a fine job of it.
"Sonny, please, you know that I still care about you, right?" Will's blue eyes are pleading for Sonny's understanding.
"You know what? You no longer have that privilege either, Will. You don't have the right to care or wonder or think about me or even talk to me!"
Tears spring to Will's eyes as he stares at his ex-boyfriend. This is not how he wanted it. He only wanted Sonny to be free, to not be weighed down by his burdens and obligations. Will had hoped they could stay friends. He had hoped that Sonny would eventually see that Will didn't end things because he didn't love him; he ended it because he did - and still does - love him. He didn't intend for Sonny to hate him. Yet here they are, sitting across the bar at the coffee shop, and all Will sees is rage and resentment in Sonny's deep espresso eyes.
"Arianna misses you..."
"Will. Don't. You know that I miss her, too."
"I can bring her by sometime if you want to see her?"
"And then what? I see her for 15 minutes and then you whisk her away once again, breaking my heart all over. No, thank you, Will. I wish I could see her, but it's just too hard."
They both sit in silence staring at everything but each other. This visit is not going at all as planned. Will came to make sure Sonny was alright and to see if they could preserve even just a little of their friendship, but clearly Sonny is nowhere near ready for any sort of relationship with Will.
Feeling like he has nothing to lose, Will goes for broke. "Sonny, it's not just Arianna who misses you. I miss you, too." Will's voice is barely audible as he holds Sonny's gaze with his own. Sonny doesn't move, he only closes his eyes and when he opens them back up, they are brimming with tears. Will takes another chance and reaches across the counter to take his hand. Sonny squeezes back, and then suddenly recoils as if burned.
"Fuck, Will. Don't say that. You have no right to say that," Sonny's voice cracks and a few tears escape. He brushes them away forcefully as they continue to fall. "You did this...or did you forget that? You told me that we were over. You told me that I needed to be set free. Did you even ask me what I wanted? No! I didn't want this. I still don't. But you didn't give me a choice did you? And now you come waltzing in here less than a week after I move out and you want to know how I'm doing? Well, fuck you, Will, fuck you. I am shitty as hell, I cry myself to sleep every night and I wake up happy only to realize that the love of my life doesn't want to be with me anymore. There. Now you know." Sonny turns away from Will and pretends to pour himself a cup of coffee, but he's really just trying to calm himself down enough to stop shaking.
When Sonny turns back around, Will is gone. The stool at the bar barely moved from it's original spot. The only sign that Will was even there is the slow creaking of the front door as it shuts behind him.
Will steps outside the coffee shop and can't control his emotions any longer. He chokes out a sob, his body wracked with turmoil. He knows that he did this. He knows that he is responsible for walking away from the man he loves. He knows he has broken Sonny's heart. But he still feels deep down that he did the right thing. Sonny deserves to explore and make plans when he wants and take hiking trips and climb mountains. He shouldn't be tied down changing diapers and burping a baby in the middle of the night. He shouldn't be home on a Friday because his boyfriend has a kid to watch. That is not the life Sonny was meant to live.
Will takes a deep breath and attempts to collect his composure. He starts to walk off towards his car and then stops, frozen in time. What he wants more than anything is to make a beeline back to the coffee shop, to walk himself right behind the coffee bar and take Sonny in his arms, kissing him until they are both breathless and dizzy. Instead, Will takes one tentative step forward, moving one foot slowly in front of the other until he's reached the parking lot, never looking back.
Two Months Ago
"Hey honey! Welcome home!" Will greets Sonny with a wide smile and a tender kiss.
"It's great to be home, babe. How are you? How is our little Ari-girl?" Sonny immediately makes his way to the bassinet in the living room to get a glimpse of their precious daughter.
"She's great, Son. She is cutting teeth, so that also means she puts everything she gets her hands on into her mouth and is constantly drooling. I've started keeping a bib on her at all times just to catch all the drool." The two of them laugh as they peer into the bassinet at a peacefully sleeping Arianna, pacifier in her mouth and several long strings of drool suspended from her chin.
"Wow, you are right. Her chin and the entire front of her dress are soaked." Sonny chuckles, enjoying immensely all of these special "first" moments he gets to share with Will and this little girl.
"So, come sit down. I'll get you something to drink and you can tell me about your conference." Will grabs a beer for Sonny and a water for himself and makes his way back into the living room. Plopping down on the couch right next to Sonny, Will listens intently to Sonny's trip recap all the while playing with Sonny's ear. It's one of those things Will just does unknowingly, and Sonny finds it adorable and comforting. He's so happy to be home.
Will suddenly springs up from his seat and runs back into their bedroom. It happens so fast that Sonny doesn't even have time to react. Seconds later, Will returns, and stands right in front of Sonny with his hands behind his back. "I got you a gift," he proclaims proudly.
"Will, you shouldn't have gotten me anything. How many times do I have to tell you that you and this precious little girl are all the gifts I need?"
"I know. But you work so hard and you hardly get any time to do the things you really love."
"You're wrong, Will. I constantly get to do the things I love...like feeding Arianna, rocking her to sleep, snuggling with you, kissing you and grocery shopping for our family, just to mention a few."
"No, Sonny, I mean like rock climbing or going to concerts or traveling. You have given up so much for us, and I just want to say thanks."
"Will, I want to be here with you and Arianna. I love you and what I want now is to be a family with you. Understand?"
"Okay, but here, pick a hand." He winks and wrinkles up his nose, egging Sonny to play along.
"Um, fine, I choose the left."
"Ha! You are now the proud owner of a pair of tickets to the International Film Festival, coming to Salem next week." Will gleefully hands the envelope over to Sonny.
"Wow! Thanks, honey. I've been thinking that we should go. What a great idea! Think we can find a sitter for Ari?"
"No, because these are your tickets...not ours. I want you to go with whomever you want."
"Okay, well, I want to go with you, my partner and best friend."
"Sonny, that's not why I got you the tickets."
"So, you got me these tickets so I could take the person of my choosing as long as that person isn't you?"
"Basically, yes."
"Will, we have been through this so many times before. I just got home from a week long trip. The only thing I want is to spend time at home with the man and daughter that I love more than anything else in this world."
"Fine, okay. We'll grab some movies and plan a mellow weekend at home. It'll be just you, me and our drooly-girl, how does that sound?"
"Perfect. I can't think of a better way to spend the weekend."
"Good. So, we'll have this weekend and then you can have Sonny-time next weekend."
"Sure. And I want Sonny-time to include taking my amazing and sexy partner out for dinner and to the International Film Festival."
"Son..."
"Will," he says curtly, "why do you keep fighting me on this?"
"Because I know that you miss your friends and going out with them. I'm giving you permission to go, have fun, stay out all night, forget us and just enjoy yourself."
"I won't go if you don't go with me."
"Well, that's a waste of perfectly good tickets..."
"Will," Sonny pauses when he hears whimpering from the other side of the living room.
Will is up and over to the bassinet in record time. "Well, hello little girl. How was your nap? Gosh, do I need to change your bib and your dress? Maybe I need make a shirt out of plastic wrap, so all that drool rolls right off." He picks her up and heads to the bedroom to change her.
"Will?"
He turns back to look at Sonny. "We'll finish this conversation later, okay? We need to talk more about this."
Will nods and disappears into the nursery.
One Month Ago
"Where are we going, Will?" Sonny asks curiously as Will pulls out onto the interstate.
"We are going to the airport," he responds with a smile.
"What? Are we picking someone up or have you planned a trip away for us? That would be fantastic! It's been so long since we've had time away together."
"You're sort of right."
"Okay..."
"There is a trip involved...but it's only you going on it. I contacted a bunch of your hiking buddies and you are all meeting in Vail for a long weekend away. Your bag is packed and in the trunk. I remembered your skis and plenty of warm clothes."
Sonny sits in silence as he processes what Will just told him. Without saying anything, he looks the other way and out the passenger's side window.
"Son? Are you okay? Are you not excited about your surprise?"
Taking a calming breath, Sonny turns back towards Will. "This is nice of you, Will. And I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I had hoped we would have some time together...just you and me. Why don't you come along, too? We can hang out with my friends some of the time and then have the rest of the time to ourselves. I would love to get you alone in a hotel room for some time to reconnect."
"But Sonny, I did this for you. You've been working so hard and up late with Arianna while she's been sick and helping with so much around the house. I want you to have a nice weekend away."
"What if it's not what I want, Will?"
"Why wouldn't it be? Don't you just want to escape for a while and be free to do whatever you want? You shouldn't be saddled with a child and her Dad."
"Saddled? Is that really how you think I feel about our family? That I'm "saddled" with you and Arianna?"
"No. Yes. Maybe. I don't know. I just want you to be able to do some of the things you used to love doing, without having to worry about us."
"Are you trying to get rid of me, Will? Because we've talked about this month after month since Ari was born, and you can't seem to get it through your thick skull that I WANT to be with you and Arianna. I am not saddled with you, not obligated to you, I am thrilled to be with you two. You need to stop pushing me away, Will. I'm getting the feeling that maybe you don't want me in this relationship any longer. Is that true?" Sonny demands, hurt written all over his face.
"No, Sonny, I love you. But you need to get out more."
"I'm a big boy, Will, and I can decide whether or not I need to get out more."
"But you spend so much time at home, cooped up with a newborn."
"And I love every minute. I choose to because it makes me happy."
"But I saw you looking at pictures of one of your last climbing trips. You seemed sad...like you wish you were there again."
"I have great memories of that trip, but I wasn't sad. I was thinking and hoping that I could take you and Arianna some day."
"You hardly see your friends. They call you but you don't go out with them."
"My friends understand that I am helping raise a child."
"But you don't have to."
"Really. I don't have to. Are you trying to tell me something else, Will? Do you want to break up with me and this is how you're going to do it? Send me off on a trip and pack my belongings while I'm gone?"
Will doesn't answer right away. "I just don't want you to feel trapped in this relationship."
Sonny explodes, unable to keep his emotions in check any longer. "Let me decide how I feel for fuck's sake, okay Will? Stop telling me what I feel and what I want."
"Okay. I'm sorry, Sonny." Will looks so sad that Sonny immediately regrets getting angry.
"I know, Will, I am too." He reaches over to the steering wheel and takes Will's hand. "We just keep fighting about this over and over again, and I'm tired."
"I am, too. What do you say we carve out some time just for us when you get back from Colorado?"
"So, I'm still going, hah."
"Yes, Sonny, please. It's my gift to you. And it's all paid for and your friends are meeting you there. They'd be really disappointed if you didn't show."
"Okay, I'll go. Thank you for being so kind. But promise me, when I get back, we'll set aside time for just you and me. We can talk more then."
"Sounds good. We'll talk then."
One Week Ago
"What do you mean, you are ending this for me? That's bullshit, Will, and you know it. I can make my own decisions, and I don't want to break up."
"Sonny, we can't stay together if only one of us wants to be in the relationship." Will's voice is emotionless and cold.
"So, are you saying that I'm the only one who wants to be in this relationship anymore? Are you saying that you don't love me, don't want to be with me and raise our family together?"
Will swallows hard and meets Sonny's stare straight on. "Yes. That's what I'm saying. We're over, Sonny."
"No," Sonny starts to sob, desperation in his voice as he pleads with Will. "No, you can't do this to us. You can't just one day say that we're over. What happened to sticking together for the long haul? To being able to make it through anything as long as we're together? To the promises we made to be there for each other always? What about the fact that you said you'd love me forever? What about that, Will?" Sonny's voice continues to ascend with every heart-wrenching question.
"All I can say to that is things change. And they have...you know how tense it's been in our household lately. You can't pretend that everything is perfect, Sonny, because it's not and hasn't been for some time."
Sonny collapses into one of their kitchen chairs and runs his hands through his hair. He never thought he'd ever see this day with Will. He never, ever imagined them not being together - WilSon forever - they used to say. But life is never what you expect, is it? Just when you think you've got the hang of things, the rug gets pulled up from under you and you've landed on your ass.
Sonny makes a final attempt. "Is there any reason to keep talking about this Will? Is there any room for you to change your mind?"
Will shakes his head before he speaks. "I'm afraid not, Sonny. My mind is made up."
Sonny carefully rises to his feet and steadies himself before moving forward. Walking to the bassinet, he leans over and picks up Arianna, cradling her in his arms. He peppers kisses all over her rosy, chubby cheeks. "I love you sweetpea, always know that. I'm going to miss you and your Daddy something fierce. Promise you won't forget me? Because I'll always be here for you even when you're 7 or 16 or 22. I'll always love you. That will never change." Sonny lays her back down and walks to the door.
"Let me know when you'll be gone for a day, and I'll get my stuff moved out." He doesn't turn around because he's afraid he just might break down completely and resort to begging. But he won't do that. He has more self respect than that. If Will doesn't want to be with him, then he has to accept that.
As he opens the door, Will appears behind him, seeing him out. Sonny heads down the hallway when he hears, "Sonny?"
"Will?" Maybe there's a chance he's changed his mind. Maybe he realizes that they belong together and that this is crazy.
"Take care of yourself, okay?" And within seconds the door is closed, and he is gone.
One Month Later
"I'm sorry you've had to move back here for a little while, Sonny. I'm so sorry things didn't work out with you and Will."
"Me too, Dad, me too. I still don't understand, but you have to have two to make a relationship work, and clearly I was the only one who wanted that anymore."
"Sonny, I don't know what to say. I thought you were an amazing couple and a wonderful family. But people do change, and Will must have over the last months since Arianna was born."
"Yeah," Sonny says absentmindedly. He's so tired of hearing that from everyone: people change, Sonny. The next person who says that is going to get yelled at. Because one of these times he's not going to be able to hold back any longer. He's going to need to vent.
Sonny spends the day unpacking his suitcases and the basic things he'll need around until he finds his own place. He's about to head downstairs for a snack when his phone vibrates. It's a text from Will.
Hey Sonny, I'm in a bind and wondering if you could babysit Arianna for the afternoon?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. I suppose. Do you think it's a good idea?
I'm not sure, but I really need to go to this meeting today and Arianna's day care provider is sick.
Oh. Well, I'm glad to watch her. I'm staying at my parents' house, do you want to drop her off or do you want me to come to you?
I'll be there in a 1/2 hour. Thank you so much, Sonny. I don't know how to thank you.
"What was that about Sonny?"
"That was really bizarre. Will asked me to watch Arianna for the afternoon because his day care is closed and he can't find anyone else. I'm floored that he even asked." Sonny is still in a bit of shock from their conversation.
"Well, he trusts you, Sonny. That's important...really important. I wouldn't get your hopes up, but I can't help but think that this is a good sign." Sonny's Dad puts an arm around his shoulders and pulls him in for a hug.
"I know, Dad. And I also know that this is going to be hard. I'll be with her once again and then she'll be taken away. It'll break my heart, but I know that I need to do this for Will."
"You're a good man, Sonny."
"Thanks, Dad. I just wish I had been good enough for Will."
*(*(*(*)*)*)*
Will pulls up to the Kiriakis mansion and parks right behind Sonny's car. As he walks around the front to get Arianna from the other side, he sees the car seat still fastened securely in the backseat of Sonny's car. It's been a month without her, and Sonny is still driving around totally ready to pick her up at a moment's notice. Will is so moved by this that it takes his breath away, and he has to grab the side of his car for balance.
Once he calms down, he reaches in and pulls Arianna out in her car seat. She is still drooling like crazy, but she's actually got teeth now, two on top and one on the bottom. Will knows that Sonny will be really excited about her new teeth. He might be sad, too, having missed them breaking through to make their appearance. Will's bottom lip trembles as he tries to push those thoughts from his mind.
The front door opens before Will and Ari get there, and they are greeted by a very tentative but devastatingly handsome Sonny Kiriakis. God, this man is gorgeous, Will thinks to himself. He's even more beautiful than I remember.
"Hi Will."
"Sonny, I-I can't thank you enough for coming through for me. I realize that I'm probably the last person you want to help right now, but I knew that you'd be there if Ari needed you."
Sonny nods. He will always be there for Arianna.
"So, when has she eaten last?" Sonny pulls them both from their thoughts and gets down to business.
"She's probably ready for a bottle right now. There are 4 packed in the bag and plenty of teething rings."
"Oh my gosh, Will, she was getting teeth in the last time I saw her! Does she, has she...did some come in yet?"
"Yes. Three."
Sonny bends down to greet Ari, who is sitting calmly in her seat, chewing on a set of toy keys. "Come here baby girl!" he smiles at her feeling happier than he has in a long time. "I want to see your teeth!" He unbuckles her and lifts her gently into his arms. Arianna, recognizing him, drops the keys immediately and gives him the hugest, now only somewhat-toothless grin. Her arms and legs start to flail as Sonny lifts her high into the air and brings her back down close to him.
Sonny's eyes meet Will's and they see much of the same reflected in the other. Will is remembering the first time Sonny made Ari giggle out loud. It was such a beautiful moment, they couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry with joy. Sonny is remembering her first taste of rice cereal and the look of pure disgust on her adorable face. She couldn't spit that out fast enough and both Will and Sonny ended up wearing more than they managed to actually get into her mouth.
"Thank you," they both say at the same exact time. Laughing nervously, Will lets Sonny speak first.
"Will, I know I said that it would be too hard to see her, but now that she's here, I am so grateful for the opportunity to see her again. I was stupid and stubborn to think that I wouldn't. Thank you for thinking of me. And if things go well, I, ah wouldn't mind watching her other times, too. You know if you want to go out or something."
Will shifts from foot to foot awkwardly. "Sonny..."
"It's okay, Will if you don't feel comfortable with that. I shouldn't have said anything."
"No, that's not it. I just...I had hoped maybe you would change your mind about seeing her. She may only be 8 months old, but she knows you, Sonny...she knows you as her other Daddy."
Sonny can only nod and pull Arianna a bit closer. "Thank you for that, Will."
"You don't have to keep thanking me, Sonny, I should be thanking you! You are totally coming through for me in a pinch. So..." Will lets his sentence trail off.
"So, you'll be home, I mean back to get here at 3 or so?" Sonny hopes Will doesn't notice his little slip up.
"Yep. And I'll text if my meeting runs late. But her bag is loaded with bottles, snacks, a change of clothes, diapers, toys, children's tylenol because she's got more teeth coming in and her favorite blanket."
"Sounds great. Have a good meeting. Don't worry about us, we'll be just fine, won't we little girl?" Sonny nuzzles her belly with his nose and comes up grimacing. "When was the last time she pooped?"
"Um, yesterday."
"Nope. She just did. And it's a doozy. You're going to leave me with it, aren't you?"
"Well, Sonny, thanks again but I have to get going so I'm not late! I'll see you in a few hours," Will calls out as he speeds down the sidewalk to his car.
"Hey, Will!" Sonny yells from the porch. Will turns slightly to see a wonderful smile cross Sonny's face. "It's good to know that some things never change."
Will returns the smile, gives a small wave and takes off for work.
Three Months Later
"Hi, this is Will Horton, Arianna's Dad? She's been running a high temp for the last three days and children's tylenol is not bringing her fever down. She's not eating, and she's crying all the time. I'm just at my wits end. She and I haven't slept in two days."
"What was her temp the last time you took it, Mr Horton?" asks the voice on the other end.
"It was 104.5."
"Then I would suggest, with the symptoms you are describing, that you bring her in right away. Do you want to see where I can fit you two into the Dr's schedule?"
"Please. The sooner the better."
"Okay, Mr Horton, the doctor can see Arianna at 10:45am this morning, will that work for you?"
"Absolutely. We'll be there. Thank you."
*(*(*(*)*)*)*
"Will, the spinal was conclusive; Arianna has meningitis - bacterial meningitis - to be more specific. Although we may not be able to pinpoint exactly what caused this, I suspect it was her most recent ear infection. That's typical in infants."
"Wh - what does all of that mean for my baby girl? How do we treat this? Will she be on all sorts of medication because I'm not the best with doing all of that. I can be kind of...skittish around that stuff." Will was sitting in one of the more comfortable chairs in Arianna's hospital room. The Dr was leaning up against the wall.
"I'm afraid you won't be taking her home today, Will. Arianna's symptoms are severe enough that we want to keep her here while she's being treated. The seizure she had yesterday afternoon concerned me enough that we're approaching this as aggressively as possible. So we'll treat intravenously and watch her closely, monitoring any lingering effects. "
"Um, okay. How long does it usually take to get better? And what are the 'lingering effects' you mentioned?" Will's voice trembles as he speaks. This is his little girl, the only person he has allowed to totally capture his heart and soul. Since he broke things off with Sonny, Arianna has become his world. She is everything to him. Without her, he is nothing. Without her, life isn't worth living.
"Well, inpatient treatment can be anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of weeks, depending on the patient's progress. Depending on the severity, and this is worst case scenario, she could have some hearing loss, neurological damage including continued seizures or learning disabilities. This form of meningitis is severe, Will, I'm not going to candy coat the truth. Meningitis has been known to cause kidney failure, permanent brain damage and a small percentage even results in death."
"Oh God," Will gasps and immediately moves to Arianna's side. "That's only in the very bad cases, right Dr? And Arianna isn't that bad?"
The Dr pauses before speaking again. "Will, I'm not going to lie; this infection is terribly serious and while Arianna's is not the most severe, it is more progressed than the typical form. That's why it's imperative that we treat her here and as soon as possible. Chances are the medications will make her drowsy and she'll sleep most of the time. But the sooner we get this fever down and under control the better her chances are of a full recovery." The Dr watches as as Will sinks further into his chair and hangs his head in his hands. "I'll leave you to spend time with her, now that she's awake. Is there anyone you want us to contact for you?"
Sonny, Will thinks to himself. All Will wants is Sonny to be by his side, to be with his daughter, to be with him "No, th-thank you," he finally stammers. And with that, the Dr leaves and Will crumbles into the chair, sobbing openly.
*(*(*(*)*)*)*
"Abigail?"
"Will...hi! What's up with you? I haven't heard from you in forever." Her voice is far too cheery.
"Umm, I have a favor to ask," Will's voice trembles and he fights for control.
"Will, are you alright? You don't sound like you are. What's going on?" Abby demands, hearing him sniffle.
"It's Arianna."
"What is? Is she alright, Will?"
"No," and he finally loses it. "She has meningitis, Abby. She's been in the hospital for 3 days now, and she's not improving like she should." The sniffles have progressed into sobs, and Abby is having a hard time understanding her cousin.
"Will, where are you? Tell me the room number now."
"We're on the 4th floor, room 434."
"Okay, I'm on my way. Do you need anything, Will?"
"No, just a friend, Abby."
"You got it."
*(*(*(*)*)*)*
The second day Abby visits Arianna and Will in the hospital, she brings up a topic they've avoided thus far. "Will, have you thought of contacting Sonny?"
"Yes, I have, and No, I'm not going to. He doesn't need my drama back in his life, Abigail."
"You know he would want to be here, right? He's still crazy about Arianna and will be pretty angry if you don't tell him what's going on with her."
"He's already pretty angry at me, Abs. The last couple of times I saw him, we actually got into a shouting match. So no, feelings are still too fresh. I won't put him through that. He needs to move on Abby, and me calling him here will just delay that even longer."
"Well, Will, I am going to go on record as saying that I think you're making a huge mistake. I think you're being stubborn and thoughtless and selfish. You are doing this because it's easier on you...it doesn't have anything to do with what's best for Sonny. And I think you're being a stubborn idiot. You need support now more than anything else. Sonny was always that for you. And I really don't understand why you continue to push him away."
"Wow, Abs. Why don't you tell me how you really feel," Will says sarcastically, barely missing a beat.
"It's the truth."
"According to you."
"I went on record, Will, and I intend to keep bugging you about it until you do the right thing. Just think of how happy Ari would be to see Sonny. She adores him, and he adores her. Why deprive them?"
"Because I have to Abby. Sonny and I are no longer together and haven't been for over 3 months now. He's moved on. In fact I saw him just last week sitting in Horton Square with another guy. He's obviously decided that I was right after all, and he's on his way to finding someone who can go on all those wonderful adventures with him."
"Was the guy tall, brown hair, glasses?"
"Abby, I don't remember," he says frustratingly.
"You do too. Don't lie. Your ex-boyfriend is seen in a public place with another guy, and I know that you sure as hell want to know who it is."
"I don't. Not really."
"You're not very convincing, Will. I can see the hurt behind your eyes when you talk about Sonny with someone else."
"Maybe Abs, but I'm standing my ground. No Sonny."
"Fine. So, have you pretty much been here the whole time she's been in?"
"Yes. I'm missing my comfy bed, that's for sure!"
"Why don't you go home, take a shower and clean yourself up a bit. I'll stay here with her and call if anything changes. Please Will, if you won't call Sonny then at least take care of yourself, especially considering you're pretty much all Arianna has right now."
"Okay, Abby, I will. A shower and change of clothes will do me good."
"Fantastic. Rest assured that I will call you if anything at all changes, okay?"
"Okay. And Abs?"
"Yes cuz'?"
"Thank you. For everything."
"I love you and little Ari, Will. We're family, and that's what family does for each other. Oh, and by the way...that guy you saw Sonny with is his brother. He's home visiting for a month. So, you are wrong. Sonny hasn't moved on."
A wave of relief passes through him. "Thank you." And with a gentle kiss to Arianna, Will hugs his cousin tightly before heading out the door.
Exactly one hour and 20 minutes later, Will rushes back to the hospital, jogging up to Arianna's room. "I got here as quickly as I could. Tell me what's going on?" Despite taking a shower and putting on clean clothes, Will still looks haggard and completely exhausted.
"Will, Arianna has had another seizure. This wasn't as severe as the last one, and she seems to have recovered from it just fine, but I want to do some additional tests to make sure. Is that okay?"
"Yeah, of course. Do you know why she's still having these? Is the antibiotic not working?"
"We just don't know yet, Will, but hopefully we'll get some answers from these tests. I've got everything set up for her, so we can do the tests right away. I suspect we'll probably be gone 2 hours maybe? And by that time I believe I'll have more information to share with you about her status, okay?"
Will just nods as Abby holds his hand firmly by Ari's bedside. He leans into the bed where she looks so small, so vulnerable, and he gives her a tender kiss. "Be good for the doctors sweet girl. Get those tests done and come back to me, please. I love you so much. And I'm going to do everything in my power to get you better. Okay, baby girl?" Tears are streaming down his face as they wheel Arianna away from him and out the door.
*(*(*(*)*)*)*
Will feels a hand on his shoulder and he is jostled from sleep. Blinking a few times to clear his hazy vision, he looks up to see who the hand belongs to. Sonny.
"Oh my gosh, Son, you're here!" Will stands up and immediately throws himself into Sonny's open arms. He's crying and his nose is running, but he doesn't care. Sonny came to see Arianna, and Will is so overcome with emotion he lets go of all the stress and worry he's been holding in for days. Will bawls into Sonny's shirt, soaking it through while Sonny rubs slow, comforting circles on Will's back. After several minutes, Will composes himself enough to pull back from Sonny.
"How did you find out, Sonny?"
"I bet you can guess," he says with a wink.
"Abby," they answer simultaneously.
"She told me you didn't want me to know, that you thought I'd be bothered, but that's so far from the truth, Will."
"I know, I'm sorry. I was being an idiot, as usual. Of course you should know...you should have known days ago," Will says apologetically.
"Doesn't matter anymore. I'm here now, so tell me what's going on and how she's doing? And why is she not here?"
Will fills Sonny in completely, starting with her high fever on the first day up until the last seizure she had just hours ago. "So, she's with the doctor right now having more tests done. She's been gone for almost 2 hours now, so I expect they'll be back soon."
"Okay, so hopefully they'll have more information for us when they get back, right?" Sonny looks hopeful.
"Yes." Will pauses for a couple seconds and then reaches out to take Sonny's hands in his. "Thank you for being here."
"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, Will."
Sometime in the middle of Sonny's second night staying at the hospital, he hears what sounds to him like gurgling or babbling from the area of Arianna's bed. Moving quietly as to not wake Will who finally fell asleep in one of the room's chairs, Sonny peers over the side railing into the shining blue eyes of Arianna Grace. "You're awake, baby girl! It's so good to see those beautiful blue eyes!" He reaches in to touch the hand that is the least attached to medical equipment, and Ari quickly grips one of his fingers tightly.
Just then the doctor and several other staff come into the room. "So, I see our little one is finally up! Hi there sweetheart, so good to see you." The doctor continues to talk to her and coo at her while taking her vitals. She struggles a little at the confines of all the wires and tubes snaking too and from her body and starts to get frustrated. Ari lets out a hoarse cry, and Will shoots up from his make-shift bed.
"She's awake?" he says to no one in particular, and Sonny answers him first.
"Yeah, Will, she just woke up. I heard some babbling and got up to check on her. There she was, baby blues open wide, staring right at me."
Will hurries to Arianna's bedside and starts asking questions. "How is she doing? She looks really good. Can we unhook her from some of these machines now? I really want to hold her."
Three hours later, Will is sitting in the chair that has served as his bed for the last week, with Arianna in his arms. Sonny watches the two of them with awe, the connection between father and daughter so obvious and so strong. Will catches him staring. "Do you want to hold her?"
"No, Will, you keep her. You haven't held her since she's been in the hospital."
"True. But you haven't held her in a couple of months, Sonny. So, I think it's your turn."
One Week Later
"Okay, Will, I've got her car seat, her bag, her favorite blanket and the bottles from the cooler. Is that everything?" Sonny takes one last glance around the hospital room where Will and Arianna have spent the better part of the last 3 weeks.
"Are you able to grab the balloon from Abby?"
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that. She loves that balloon. And it's the only one that's still inflated."
"Abs will be so proud knowing hers is the only one that stayed afloat." They laugh as they leave the cold, white room they've both called home for the last week.
"Do you want me to drive, Will?" Sonny asks as they approach Will's car. "Then you can sit in the back seat with Ari, if you want."
"That would be great, Sonny."
Five minutes into the car ride, Will speaks softly from the back. "Guess who is asleep already?" Sonny catches his eye in the rearview mirror and smiles.
"I can't say that I'm surprised. I mean, she likes car rides anyway, but I can imagine she's pretty exhausted after the last few weeks she's had."
"Yeah. And I have a feeling it's going to be quite a challenge getting her back on her regular sleep routine. Oh well, I'm just glad she's going home."
"Me, too, Will. And, you know, I'm willing to help out as much as I can. I mean I don't want to intrude or make you uncomfortable, but I'm happy to take some night shifts. But only if you're okay with that."
"Yeah, I think that would help a lot. And let's see, considering we've been sleeping in the same hospital room for the last week, I think I'd be okay with you crashing on the couch so you can cover for me for a few nights." Sonny meets Will's eyes in the rearview mirror once again, and he swears he sees a familiar twinkle, the one that Will always reserves just for him.
"Great. It's settled then. Gosh, and here we are already. Do you still have your same garage?"
"Yep," replies Will.
Sonny navigates his way in, and they quietly unpack the car. Sonny carries Ari up to Will's apartment, and he can't help but feel a little nervous at the thought of being back in the place he and Will shared for so long. They picked out that apartment together. Will was drawn to it for the natural light, and Sonny loved it for its open floor plan. They bought their first piece of furniture together for that apartment, a light grey sectional, which they eagerly made love on as soon as it was delivered. They baked, and subsequently burnt, the first meal they ever made together in that oven. Who was he to resist the beautiful curve of Will's ass as he bent over to check on the pasta and bread? Restraint was never Sonny's strong suit, so the second time Will leaned over like that, Sonny was right there behind him when he stood up, pressing his hips enticingly into Will's bottom. A half hour later, the bread was completely burnt, the lasagna was way beyond the "golden" stage and they were both lying comfortably on the tile floor of their kitchen, naked, cuddling, using their clothes as pillows. So many amazing memories shared in that apartment.
Will let them in and immediately took Ari into the nursery. Sonny put bottles in the fridge and put her dirty clothes into the laundry hamper in the bathroom. Within about five minutes, Will was back out in the living room, tidying up a few toys that had been left out haphazardly when Will rushed off to the Dr's office with Ari those weeks ago.
"Sonny?"
"Yeah, Will?"
"Come sit down, will you? I was wondering if we could, ah, talk."
"Sure." And Sonny was there, two bottles of water in his hands. Giving one to Will, they both uncap and take a long swig.
"Sonny, I, ah, I need to thank you for all of this. You have been incredible to me and Arianna over the last weeks. I don't know how I'm ever going to repay you for all you've done for us. I don't know what I would have done with out you."
"Will, please stop thanking me. I wanted to be there from the very moment Abby called to tell me about Arianna. I didn't even think twice. I still see Ari as my daughter, too, and nothing could have kept me away. I needed to be with her and make sure she came through this okay. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her, too."
Will meets Sonny's intense gaze and then has to quickly look away, guilt overriding all of his other emotions. "Sonny, I'm so sorry..." Will whispers, blinking back tears. "I'm just so very sorry." He lets the tears flow freely down his cheeks. Finally able to look Sonny in the eyes once again, he is surprised to see a similar dampness on his cheeks. Sonny blinks and a perfect round teardrop falls from the corner of his eye. Will doesn't think, he just reacts, and he reaches up and brushes away that fat, perfect teardrop with the soft pad of this thumb. He lets it linger on Sonny's cheek as his breath quickens from the intimacy of that simple touch.
"Will," Sonny gasps, looking at him longingly.
"Son, I, uh..."
"You should stop, Will."
"What if I don't want to?" Will focuses on Sonny's lips briefly before raising his head to look Sonny directly in the eye. He continues to stroke Sonny's cheek and soon brings his other hand up to do the same. With Sonny's head cradled gently in Will's hands, they each inch closer, moving in slow motion, until they are breathing in the other's air. Will moves forward that last centimeter keeping them apart and presses his lips to Sonny's. The kiss starts slowly, gently, tenderly, both relishing in the warmth and pressure of the other. Sonny can no longer suppress the moan that has been threatening to escape ever since Will first touched his cheek. It's a strangled cry, a whimper that is filled with so much desperation, so much hurt that Will just wants to kiss away every ounce of pain he's caused Sonny.
Will lets his fingers sort through Sonny's thick locks, and he presses even closer, their kiss becoming more urgent, needy, and wanting. Their lips smooth over each others as Sonny flicks out his tongue to lick at the corner of Will's mouth. Opening fully to him, Will stretches out his tongue to meet Sonny's as he pulls off his shoes and starts on the buttons of Sonny's shirt. Their mouths move hungrily, ravishing each other without restraint. Sonny kisses his way down Will's neck to his collarbone, and his hands find the underside of Will's shirt and the warmth of his supple back.
Breathlessly, the both break for air and Will stands, extending out his hand. "Come to bed with me. Please?"
And that's when Sonny stops. Things have gotten totally carried away, and he needs to put the brakes on before his heart gets broken all over again.
"I can't Will."
"Why not? I want you...and I'm pretty sure you want me..."
"There's no doubt about that, Will. I just can't. My heart has finally started to heal from our break up, and I'm not ready to go through that kind of pain again...even for one night with you."
"Sonny, I want this, don't you?"
"Will, we could go into your bedroom right now and have amazing sex all night. But that's not what I want. So, unless anything has changed with you, this has to end right now."
"And what if something has changed?" Will asks timidly, settling back onto the couch, eyes focused on the throw pillow in his lap.
"Has something changed, Will?" Sonny's question is barely audible.
"You. Me. Everything, Sonny. I miss you so much. And I was reminded every morning when I'd wake up to see you sleeping in Ari's room with me, that I still love you. That I'm miserable without you."
"Will, do you really mean that?"
"I do Sonny, and I'm sure of it. Do you, umm, do you think maybe we could give "us" another try?"
"You're not just saying this to fuck with my head, are you Will?"
"No, Sonny, I'm not. These last weeks spent in Ari's hospital room gave me lots of time to think. And I know that I screwed up big time. You are such an amazing, wonderful guy, and I did everything I could to push you away. It was me, Sonny, it was always me. I was being selfish, and I was so terrified of being hurt that I decided to hurt you instead. It's one of the worst decisions I ever made when I told you that day that it was over between us...that I didn't love you anymore."
"I've never been so heartbroken in my entire life, Will. The thought of losing you and Arianna together, well, that felt like too much to handle. But it wasn't just you, Will. I didn't always make it easy for you to talk to me about your concerns. It takes two to make a partnership work."
"But I let my pride get in the way of admitting I had made a horrible mistake."
"And I let my anger get in the way of everything."
"I do mean it, Son. I miss you so much. And I love you, I really love you."
At those wonderful words, the ones Sonny has been waiting to hear for months, he lets his forehead fall against Will's. They rest a moment, listening to the other breathe.
"I love you too, Will. I never stopped loving you."
"I know Sonny."
"So does this mean what I think it does? That we're gonna try this relationship again? That we're back together?" Sonny asks hesitantly and hopefully.
"I'd really like that, Sonny. I'd love it if we got another chance."
Sonny nods briefly before pulling Will back in for a searing kiss. They make out on the couch, allowing their hands to explore, to remember, to feel again. Sonny finds the soft spot on Will's neck that drives him wild, and Will finishes unbuttoning Sonny's shirt so he can feel the smooth, taut skin of Sonny's chest against his fingertips.
This time when Will stands up and offers his hand to Sonny, he takes it, and follows Will back into the bedroom. Sonny is just about to pull Will's t-shirt over his head when they hear a cry come through the baby monitor. Looking at each other, slightly disappointed, Will offers to take care of Ari. "I'll go, Son."
"No, Will, let me go. You just relax, I'll take care of her."
"No, Sonny. I have an even better idea. Let's go together."
THE END