Short story collections of the captains of the 13 squads. No common theme or whatsoever, just a set of insights about the captains and their relationships. Well, it wouldn't be nice to start a new account for all my little one shots, no?

Disclaimer: I Don't Own Bleach

--

SLEEP- SOI FONG

There was a price to pay for everything.

And for Soi Fong, the price was losing herself.

She twisted and turned on her bed, hoping to catch some long deserved rest. But she could not. She forgot when was the last time she had a proper sleep. During her training for being the Secret Corps, nobody was allowed to drift into deep sleep as trainers would drag people up in the middle of the night as part of training. Then, once she was recruited as Yourichi's personal guard, she had to remain alert at all times in case anything happens. Well, to be honest, there was no need for Soi Fong to worry about anything now, but this light sleeping habit had got onto her and evolved into a form of insomnia.

Soi Fong wondered when was the last time she could carefreely walk on the streets with no inhibitions. When she was younger, she longed to please Yourchi, when Yoriuchi was gone, she was trying so hard, whipping herself so badly to make sue that she was someone. And there she was, the most powerful woman in the whole of 13 Squads and the only woman captain. But now she was being burdened by other affairs.

She began to wonder about the meaning of her own life. She lived her life on a tightrope. Anyone would know how dangerous the job of the secret corps are, one was usually sent to the worse and the most mysterious missions. Sometimes, Soi Fong imagined that she would be like her fellow comrades, sent for a mission and never came back or died and buried like one of the nameless beggars on the street.

Yes, she may seem fearless, but she did have her fears too. Working so close to death all the time made her wondered countless times how she would die in the end. After so many years, after seeing so many deaths cross her paths, death still gave her the slight shudders. More than one time, she pondered about what would happen if her own men turned their backs against her. And she could not help by also imagine what would happen if her comrades or herself were exposed doing some form of secret missions. Would they be tortured? Would they be killed? And the most fearful of all would be when they become drugged by the enemy to betray their own friends. However, Soi Fong forcefully made sure these fears had come under control. Fear cannot control someone whose work is as important as hers.

Soi Fond got tired of twisting and turning, so she decided to just lie flat on her back and let her mind wander. She thought of the whole Rukia incident. She was saved by a man called Ichigo. Soi Fong wondered if someone would do that for her. Yes, Soi Fong may act like a man, fight like a man, but she was still a woman at heart and what a woman really wants is a man whom she can fully depend on. Rukia actually made Soi Fong a little jealous. Rukia was just so lucky to have met a an who loved her so deeply that he would risk his life to save her. Soi Fong laughed at how she would never meet someone like that. Soi Fong did not dwell on these thoughts all the time, but once in a while, she really hoped she would be like Yoruchi and left with her beloved and experience one round of these passionate love. Just one round she would sliently pray, let me go through the fire of this love just once. Let me lose myself in this whirlpool for once.

Then she sighed.

She would never get someone like that. In the first place, which man would dare to approach her? Her fury had been known throughout the 13 Squads. She was more powerful than half the man she knew and the number of people who fought better than her was countable using her 10 fingers.

That's not to mention that it would be unfair for anyone to follow her either. Soi Fong knew she was the public enemy of many of the 13 squads enemies, and her name probably appeared on every of their to-kill list. Soi Fong did not want to drag innocent people into her risky life. No one deserved to living every second with their instincts up, preparing for someone to assassinate them. If anyone was related to So Fong, that person would sure be the next target. Moreover, Soi Fong did not think she would be able to handle the pain of her own loved one killed by her own missions.

It was then Soi Fong felt herself dozing off to sleep but she made sure she was controlling the depth of her sleep. As she did so, she pondered about what the next day bring, but she knew in her heart what it was, more danger and more missions. Soi Fong couldn't help but feel a little weary at that thought. She felt like letting go of everything and running to some obscure place where no one knew her and start a new life. A new and simple life. She wondered what she would do. Maybe she would sell things in a little shop, maybe she would run errands for the people of a small town. Those imaginations would enough to bring her away from the real world for a little while and was one of Soi Fong's few sources of solace as well.

It was ironic on hindsight that she had desired so much to reach the pinnacle and now that she was up there, she wanted out. It's like being granted a wish and now hating the fact that you have been granted the wish. Life, Soi Fong realized, played such games with people.

While her mind drifted, she also knew within her heart that she could abandon all that she had and run away. Her sense of responsibility would prevent that.

--

Hey. Hope you liked it. I don't think a lot of people actually write on Soi Fong so here's my interpretation of her, which can be summarized into, hard on the outside but soft on the inside. I don't know whether you guys agree with my interpretations but I am always okay with reviews so keep them coming. Happy reading!