Notes to Reader: Ok, for the people who don't know, quotes in are thoughts, quotes in * * are actions, and onna means woman in Japanese (though you people already knew that, but I'm just tellin' you, just in case you don't know! ^_^) Also, do not read this if you're…well, too young and aren't allowed to read things with bad language and violence ^_^' (ehehehe…) Also, do not read if you're a Dorothy fan…k, well, READ ON!!!
The RPG With No Name (pretty original title, huh?)
Written by Fuujin and Sarafu
Edited by Sarafu (just thought I'd say that!)
*Fuujin, Sarafu, Quatre, and Wufei are sitting in room, around a coffee table, talking*
Fuujin: *laughs*
Sarafu: You think I'm funny, Fuujin?
Wufei: That was not funny...
Fuujin: Well, I thought it was funny…
Quatre: I thought it was humorous...
Sarafu: *eyes sparkling* You really think so, Quatty???
Quatre: Uuuh...yeah, I guess...
Sarafu: *smiles brightly, teeth shine*
Wufei: What's wrong with that onna's teeth???
Sarafu: I got them cleaned nice and good! *smiles wider* My teeth are soooooooo nice!!! Thanks to Quatty, he paid for my dentist appointment!
Quatre: *scratches head* Hehehe...
Fuujin: You're lucky, Sarafu. *glares at Wufei* All he does is eat, sleep, and spar…
Wufei: So???
Sarafu: Hey, Wu-wu, if you like to spar so much, why doncha fight me???
Wufei: Don't call me Wu-wu…
Quatre: I don't think so...I already paid to get your teeth cleaned, I don't wanna pay to get them replaced...
Wufei: *laughs*
Fuujin: *trying not to laugh*
Sarafu: *hands on hips* And what is THAT supposed to mean, Quatre Raberba Winner?!
Quatre: Uh oh, I'm in trouble now! She used my full name...
Fuujin: That he doesn't want you to hurt Wufei!
Wufei: What do you mean hurt me?
Fuujin: Shut up, Wu-wu!
Quatre: Uh...yeah, that's what I meant...I don't want you to hurt Wu-wu...I mean...
Wufei: Quatre, shut up before....
Sarafu: *steps up to Wufei* Before you what???
Fuujin: *slaps him upside the head* Watch your mouth!
Sarafu: *throws arms around Quatre*
Wufei: *shakes head*
Sarafu: You're not coming close to my wittle Quatty-watty!
Quatre: *blushes* Why me...what a ridiculous nickname...
Fuujin: *trying not to laugh*
Wufei: *laughs*
Fuujin: Look who's talking, Wu-wu…
Sarafu: What was that, my little desert prince??? *leans closer*
Quatre: Um...*leans back*
Duo: *runs in, pulls them apart* Ok, you two, knock it off...party's over, guys...
Fuujin: Hey, Duo!
Sarafu: Duo! You ruined my moment with Quatre...*fist clenched* Omae o korosu...
Fuujin: Want to borrow the mallet?
Sarafu: Oh, yes please...*grabs mallet*
Fuujin: *sits back and watches*
Quatre: *grabs mallet out of her hands* Sarafu, act your age, not your shoe size...
Sarafu: But Quaaaaaaaatreeeeeeeee.....
Quatre: Don't you 'But Quatre' me, young lady! No more mallets or frying pans for you!
Sarafu: *pouts* Oh pooh...
Duo: *gets out of hiding* Thanks, Quatre, buddy! I thought Sarafu was gonna go Heero on me...
Fuujin: But that's no fun! *takes the mallet from Quatre* Give me that!
Quatre: Ok, ok, sheesh...
Fuujin: Duo, honey, come here…
Duo: N-no way, babe! I'm outta here! *runs away*
Wufei: Scared of an onna?
Duo: Hell yeah! Especially one who's armed!
Fuujin: *turns to Wufei* You want to be beaten with the mallet?
Wufei: *shakes head* No…
Fuujin: *puts the mallet down* There!
Sarafu: Quatre, I'm gonna go in the kitchen and make you some tea...
Quatre: No, thank you...Who knows WHAT you'll put in it...
Wufei: Onna, make me a cake.
Fuujin: Bake your own damn cake!
Trowa: *walks in*
Fuujin: *looks at Trowa* Hey, Trowa!
Quatre: Trowa? How'd you get in here???
Trowa:...I just flipped over the gate...
Duo: What'd you do that for??? The gate was open.
Fuujin: *looks at them*
Wufei: ...
Trowa: *raises eyebrow* It was??? *looks out window* Oh, damn...hurt my back for nothing...
Fuujin: Trowa, are you feeling okay?
Trowa: Yeah, I'm fine...
Quatre: Now, watch your language, Trowa...
Fuujin: Why?
Trowa: I feel so dizzy...just what did Cathy put in my Java, anyway???
Quatre: This is my house, please no profane language...
Wufei: Leave him be, onna.
Fuujin: You're no fun…
Duo: This is your house, Quatre!? Damn, you sure got a hell of a place!
Trowa: Yeah, pretty damn nice...
Fuujin: *laughs*
Sarafu: And it's pretty damn roomy, too!
Quatre: *growls*
Sarafu: So, shall I get us all some damn tea???
Quatre: *head bowed in anger*
Fuujin: Sure why the hell not?
Quatre: *sweating*
Sarafu: Should I, dammit???
Wufei: *grins evilly* Yes, dammit!
Duo: Damn, now it's my turn to say damn...
Sarafu: Damndamndamndamn...
Fuujin & Wufei: *try not to laugh*
Fuujin: Were the hell is Heero? He's got to come see this bitchin' place!!!
Quatre: *gets up, knocking chair over* DID ANY OF YOU HEAR A FUCKING WORD I SAID?! GODDAMMIT! SARAFU, GET IN THAT FUCKING KITCHEN, AND MAKE SOME FUCKING TEA, NOW! THE REST OF YOU, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! *sits down in chair, arms folded over chest*
Everyone: *in shock*
Sarafu: *obeys and goes into kitchen*
Fuujin & Wufei: *obey*
Heero: Hey, guys. Did I miss anything???
Quatre: Fuck you...
Heero: Ooookay then...
Fuujin: *trying not to laugh*
Wufei: *covers Fuujin's mouth*
Heero: *sits down, leans over to Duo* What's wrong with Quatre???
Duo: *whispers* He's just a little excited right now...
Sarafu: Ok, now, who wants some tea???
Heero: Tell me what you put in it, and I'll think about it...
Sarafu: Oh, hahaha. Very funny, Heero...
Fuujin: I'll take some.
Duo: *raises hand* I want some!!!
Wufei: Onna, give me a cup…
Sarafu: Say please??? *hands cup to Duo and Fuujin*
Wufei: Now, onna.
Sarafu: Say pwetty pweeze???
Wufei: No.
Sarafu: Then you don't get any...not until you say the magic word!
Wufei: *mumbles* Please…
Sarafu: *hand to ear* What's that??? Did you say something???
Wufei: *mumbles it again*
Sarafu: Could you say that again, I didn't quite hear you...
Wufei: *in a low voice* Please.
Fuujin: *trying not to smile*
Sarafu: Now say pretty please...
Wufei: *mumbles* Pretty please…
Sarafu: Say pretty please with a cherry on top...
Wufei: Dammit, onna! Give me the fucking tea!
Sarafu: *smiles* Ok, close enough! *hands him cup*
Quatre: *pouting*
Sarafu: Quatre, honey, would you like a cup? I made your favorite...
Quatre: *in a low voice* No, thank you...
Sarafu: *frowns* Well, if you don't want it...I'll just make you a cup and put it on the table for you just in case, ok???
Quatre: *still pouting*
Fuujin: *whispers to Wufei* Tell Quatre you're sorry…
Wufei: Onna, your crazy!
Duo: Come on, Quatre, man! We're sorry...*glares at Wufei* Aren't we, Wufei???
Everyone: *glares at Wufei*
Fuujin: Yes, and I have a mallet. You put two and two together…
Wufei: I'm...sor...ry
Fuujin: *jaw drops*
Quatre: *looks at Wufei* Well, since even Wufei apologized...I forgive you all...
Everyone: *sighs*
Wufei: *sweatdrop*
Fuujin: *smiles* You did good, honey!
Quatre: *takes cup in hand, takes a sip*
Sarafu: *smiles*
Quatre: Hey, this is pretty damn good!
Sarafu: *giggles*
Fuujin & Wufei: *sweatdrop*
Quatre: *smiles*
Heero & Trowa: ...
Wufei: I'm going to kill him…
Fuujin: Settle down, honey…
Wufei: Did you just hear him!?
Fuujin: Yes, now sit down…
Duo: Yeah, settle down, Wu-wu...
Wufei: DON'T CALL ME WU-WU!!!
Quatre: I'm just trying to be funny, Wufei...
Duo: *smiles at Wufei*
Fuujin: *trying not to laugh*
Duo: *gives Wufei a peace sign*
Wufei: *flicks Duo off*
Duo: Well, that was uncalled for...
Sarafu: Oh, my...*covers Quatre's eyes*
Heero: *covers Sarafu's eyes*
Wufei: *puts finger down* And my name is WuFEI!!!
Sarafu: So, Fuujin, I'm just asking, but…*smiles* You're obsessed with Wufei, aren't you???
Fuujin: Just a lil…
Sarafu: Oh???
Fuujin: *hides my shrine to him, Quatre, and Trowa*
Wufei: Onna?
Fuujin: What?
Wufei: What are you hiding?
Quatre: Yeah, what are you hiding???
Trowa: ...yeah...
Fuujin: NOTHING!!! Nothing at all… *face turns red*
Wufei: Onna, what is it?
Fuujin: Ummmmm...nothing…
Duo: *sighs* How come I'm the one who has no fans in this room???
Sarafu: That's not true! I'm a fan, Duo!
Fuujin: *hugs Duo*
Duo: Really? Do you have a shrine dedicated to me!? *smiles* SCORE!!!
Sarafu: Well, um...no, actually...
Duo: *falls out of chair*
Fuujin: I do! I just left your shrine in my room…*covers mouth*
Duo: *looks at Fuujin, smiles*
Wufei: Shrine?
Fuujin: *blushes like mad*
Sarafu: *smiles* I have a shrine!!!
Duo: Gee, I wonder WHO it's dedicated to...
Quatre: *blushes*
Fuujin: *hides shrines to the GW guys, looks at Quatre* Me, too!
Sarafu: *throws arms around Quatre's neck*
Quatre: *sighs, bows head*
Wufei: Onna. What shrine?
Fuujin: ...
Dorothy: *walks in* Hey, Quatre! What's up???
Sarafu: *glares at Dorothy, thinks of evil things to do*
Quatre: *sighs, pops bubble*
Sarafu: *jumps, smiles*
Fuujin: *beats Dorothy with the mallet* I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! HATE! HATE!! HATE!!! *stops* Sorry about that…
Dorothy: *beaten and bruised* N...o....prob...l...em...
Sarafu: Excuse me, peoples, I'll be right back...
Quatre: *raises eyebrow* Huh? Sarafu???
Sarafu: I'll be RIGHT back! *disappears up stairs*
Dorothy: *sits down next to Quatre* So, Quatre, how's life lately???
Quatre: Um...well...actually...
Dorothy: Well, that's good! Relena and I just went shopping, and I got this new dress! *shows off dress* What do you think of it???
Sarafu: *hearing what she said, thinks* Hmph! It'd look better on a man than you...
Quatre: It looks...nice, I guess...
Duo: Hell yeah! *drools*
Fuujin: *hits her with the mallet again*
Wufei: *begins to puke*
Fuujin: I don't think Wu-wu likes it…
Heero: *raises eyebrow* How can Duo drool over such a disgusting display?
Trowa: I was just thinking the same...
Heero: *turns to Trowa* Whoa! You can read my thoughts???
Trowa: Yes, I have been able to do so ever since I was a child...
Heero: Oh, this is great...does that mean that you heard me when I was thinking about...???
Trowa: Oh, yes, every word...
Fuujin: *looks at Trowa & Heero* What are you two doing?
Trowa: *uses telepathy* I'm reading Heero's mind.
Fuujin: *hits Dorothy over and over* Cool!
Trowa: And I can read yours, too.…tsk tsk...naughty thoughts, naughty thoughts...
Fuujin: Hey, get outta my head!
Wufei: *looks at Fuujin & Trowa* What's onna thinking?
Fuujin: Trowa, I'll beat you with this mallet
Heero: *pushes Trowa over* I don't think you wanna know...
Fuujin: *sighs* He's so cute…
Dorothy: So, Quatre, I wanna tell ya something that I've been wanting to tell you all this time...*leans in closer, whispers something in Quatre's ear*
Quatre: *slowly, face begins to glow "very" red*
Fuujin: SARAFU, the BAKA is FLIRTING WITH YOUR MAN!!!
Sarafu: *comes down, now looking like an army soldier at war (with the black warpaint and everything)* DIE, YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!
Sarafu: *starts to fire at Dorothy, pumps her full of lead*
Fuujin: *smiles and watches* I got dibs on Sarafu!
Wufei: Same here!
Duo: *raises money in the air* Me too!
Fuujin: *looks at Trowa* Why are all the good looking guys crazy?
Trowa: What was that???
Fuujin:God, don't you dare me messin' around with my head!
Trowa: I heard that, you little shit...
Fuujin: I love you, too, Trowa.
Trowa: *blushes*
Heero: Trowa, why are you blushing???
Fuujin: *smiles*
Trowa: *walks away* If you'll excuse me, I have to go use the little boy's room...
Quatre: Just don't throw up on the rug, it came straight from Persia! Cost me a LOT!!!
Trowa: *waves* Got it...
Fuujin: *giggles*
Wufei: Onna, what do you have to do with this?
Fuujin: Me? Oooh, nothing…
Sarafu: *stands ontop of Dorothy's mutilated body* Victory is mine!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
Everyone: *claps*
Sarafu: *dragging Dorothy's body, makes it to bathroom before Trowa* Now you're gonna pay…
Quatre: What's Sarafu gonna do in the bathroom with Dorothy, anyway???
Sarafu: *sticks Dorothy's head in toilet, flushes* Dorothy go down the hooooole...
Dorothy: *spinning around in toilet*
Fuujin: *laughing*
Trowa: *runs in and throws up on Dorothy's head as it spins around*
Sarafu: *pats Trowa's back* That's right, Trowa, let it aaaall out!
Fuujin: Hey, Sarafu, can we kill your bro?
Sutaro: WHAT?!
Sarafu: Good idea! *runs after Sutaro with gun*
Fuujin: *grins evilly and takes Wufei's sword*
Wufei: Onna, that's mine!
Sutaro: *running around house* HAPPY THOUGHTS! HAPPY THOUGHTS! HAPPY THOUGHTS!...
Fuujin: *slashes and stabs Sutaro over and over* Happy happy, joy joy…
Sarafu: *joins in, firing at Sutaro* Happy happy, joy joy…
Sutaro: Oh! Ouch! OOH! AHH! Hey! Not that! OOCH! OWIE!!!
Wufei: Note to self: Do NOT piss onna off.
Sarafu: *pumps rest of round into Sutaro's body, runs out of ammo* Dammit!!!
Quatre: *glares* Sarafu...what did I tell you...
Fuujin: *hands her the mallet*
Sarafu: Heehee...*takes mallet*
Fuujin: Hummmmmmm... *stabs him again and again* Hey, Duo!
Duo: What?
Fuujin: *loud enough for Trowa to hear* Is Trowa gay?
Sarafu: *whacks Sutaro over and over* Whistle while you work! *whistles* And merrily, together, we can smash him to a pulp! So hum a merry tune! hmmmmmmmm....
Fuujin: Or does he like Dorothy?
Trowa: *wipes mouth* You're a very bad girl...
Fuujin: You don't know the half of it! Weeell, TROWA???
Trowa: ...
Sutaro: *now smashed to a pulp*
Fuujin: *cuts his head off*
Trowa: *continues throwing up on Dorothy, who is now halfway down the hole*
Sarafu: *wipes hands on pants* Well, I think that about does it! *brings mallet down really hard, pieces of Sutaro fly all over walls* THERE!
Heero: Mission accomplished...
Sarafu: You said it, Heero...
Wufei: Quatre, you and Trowa spend a LOT of time together…
Fuujin: *laughs*
Sarafu: *looks at Fuujin* What's THAT supposed to mean???
Fuujin: You don't want to know…
Quatre: *falls out of chair* I think I'm gonna be sick...
Trowa: *throws up even more*
Dorothy: *feet spinning around and around*
Wufei: *laughs*
Fuujin: *smacks Wufei with the arm she picked up off the floor*
Wufei: OUCH!
Fuujin: *drops the arm*
Sarafu: Injustice, Wu-wu???
Wufei: YES INJUSTICE! DON'T CALL ME WU-WU!
Sarafu: *smiles*
Fuujin: *sits* Now what do we do? *looks around* Quatre, your house is a mess…
Quatre: *on hands and knees, scrubbing blood and guts off of floor*
Wufei: *watches him*
Fuujin: Quatre?
Quatre: *hard a work*
Sarafu: Oh, Quatre, sweetie, this is my fault...let me help...*rolls up sleeves* This looks like a job for...*drum roll* SARAFU, THE FANTASIC...CLEAner...wo…man...*sighs*...Well, here I go...
Wufei: *laughs*
Fuujin: *worshiping shrines, one to each GW guy*
Sarafu: *runs around house, cleaning it in seconds*
Quatre: *surprised and happy*
Sarafu: *finishes, runs up to Quatre, panting* Well (pant) what do you (pant) think???
Quatre: ...(speechless)...
Sarafu: *smiles*
Quatre: Sarafu...thank you soooooooo much...
Sarafu: *smiles widely* Anything for my little Quatty!
Fuujin: *still worshiping them*
Wufei: Onna, what are you doing?
Fuujin: N....nothing…
Trowa: *comes out of bathroom, thinks to Wufei* I know what she's doing...and thinking...
Wufei: What?
Trowa: *walks up to Wufei, whispers in ear*
Fuujin: What are you telling him?
Duo: *raises eyebrows* Come on, tell us too!
Wufei: 0_0
Trowa: Don't act so surprised, she's been thinkin about it a lot...and also…
Fuujin: DON'T YOU DARE, TROWA BARTON!!!
Trowa: *folds arms, smiles at Fuujin (a very rare thing)* If you don't want me to, then put on your kneepads and start apologizing...
Fuujin: *follows his orders*
Wufei: Onna, stop that!
Heero: ...I'm not involved...
*gurgling sound from bathroom*
Quatre: What's that sound???
Sarafu: *runs in bathroom* Dammit! Dorothy clogged up the fucking toilet...
Fuujin & Wufei: *laugh*
Quatre: SARAFU!!! WHAT DID I TELL YOU!?
Sarafu: Sorry...*straps on kneepads, apologizes to Quatre*
Fuujin: Trowa, master, may I stand now?
Trowa: You may stand...*sits down*
Fuujin: *gets up, sits next to Wufei*
Quatre: *drags Sarafu into bathroom, closes door*
Fuujin: Hmmm, I wonder what they're doing?
Wufei: I don't want to know…
Sarafu: *screams from bathroom* No, Quatre! Not that!! Anything but that!!!
Fuujin: Now neither do I…
Quatre: Sarafu, sit still...
*banging and booming from bathroom, something falls and shatters*
Fuujin: 0_0
Everyone: *sweatdrop*
Quatre: *walks out, turns back into bathroom* And don't take it out until I tell you to! *walks over, sits down on couch*
Trowa & Heero: *raise eyebrows*
Fuujin: *stares at Quatre* Quatre can be down right evil if he wants to…
Quatre: That'll teach her...*folds arms*
Wufei: *looks at Quatre and raises an eyebrow*
Duo: Yo, Sarafu, you ok???
Sarafu: SHK PHM PHK UPH!
Everyone: *raise eyebrows*
Sarafu: *walks out with a red bar of soap in her mouth*
Quatre: I TOLD her a MILLION TIMES, NOT to disobey me!
Fuujin: Why is the soap red? I always thought it was white, blue, or green?
Quatre: Yes, well this is special soap, made for potty-mouths, like Sarafu!
Sarafu: *glares at Q* And to think, I worshiped you...
Trowa: *sighs*
Fuujin: Fuck this, Sarafu! Take that out of your mouth!
Quatre: *glares at Fuujin* You wanna end up with a bar in your mouth as well???
Heero: *tries not to laugh*
Trowa: *tries not to laugh*
Fuujin: Dammit, Sarafu, take the soap out!
Quatre: No, Sarafu! Don't take the soap out!
Fuujin: Dammit, Quatre, don't FUCKING FIGHT WITH ME!!!
Quatre: *turns to Wufei* Wufei, a little help, please?!
Wufei: Onna scary when she's mad…
Fuujin: Damn right, I am!
Sarafu: HPH KHPTHSKPH PHSKS SHPHSPSWPSNPSP SHYPHSP!!!
Trowa: *coughs nervously*
Fuujin: *looks at Trowa* Are you in my mind again? *takes the soap out of Sarafu's mouth*
Sarafu: Hey, gimme that back! *sticks soap back in mouth*
Quatre: That's a good girl, Sarafu!
Fuujin: *looks confused* What the FUCK!?
Wufei: *looks at Quatre*
Sarafu: *sticks other end in Fuujin's mouth* Here, try it, it's pretty good! Cherry flavor!
Fuujin: *takes the soap out of mouth*
Sarafu: *cringes*
Heero: ...I'm not involved...
Fuujin: Heero, go find Relena!
Heero: *glares* Must...find...Relena...*walks off*
Fuujin: Kill her when you do!
Wufei: *looks at Fuujin* Do you like anybody?
Fuujin: Yes.
Heero: Must...find...Relena...omae...o...korosu...
Wufei: Who?
Sarafu: *smiles*
Fuujin: Ummmmm...let me get back to you on that one…
Sarafu: *frowns, sucks on soap*
Fuujin: Sarafu is my friend. You guys are…
Sarafu: *looks at Quatre, takes soap out of mouth* Hey, Quatre, ya got any in apple or grape???
Quatre: I don't know, go check under the sink.
Fuujin:* laughs*
Sarafu: *runs in bathroom*
*toilet is flushed, everyone turns to bathroom*
Sarafu: Sorry! Dorothy wasn't down all the way yet!
Fuujin: *laughs*
Sarafu: *sticks plunger in toilet, pumps it up and down* Why the fuck did she clog the toilet???
Quatre: What was that, Sarafu???
Wufei: *sweatdrop*
Sarafu: *sighs, sticks new bar of soap in mouth* Phckn sht... *pulls bar of soap out of mouth* Hey, kiwi lime!!! not bad...*sticks it back in mouth*
Fuujin: *laughs*
Duo: Oh, sorry! I fell asleep there for a while! Did I miss anything???
Fuujin: *sweatdrop*
Trowa: *uses telepathy on Duo* Nothing special...
Duo: Who's that??? Who's there??? Is that you, Hitler???
Trowa: *sweatdrop* No...
Duo: Wait, don't tell me...Sadam???
Trowa: *sighs, frustrated* No...
Duo: *leans back* I thought it was you, Treize...
Trowa: Never mind, go back to sleep...
Fuujin: What are we going to do now?
Trowa: *makes spooky sounds in Fuujin's head*
Fuujin: *shakes head* Get the hell out of my head…
Sarafu: TOILET'S UNCLOGGED!!!
Trowa: FINALLY!!! *runs in bathroom, slams door shut*
Fuujin: *laughs*
Sarafu: Geez, looks like he had to go...
Wufei: *yawns*
Trowa: *is heard whistling in the bathroom*
Fuujin: I don't want to know…
Wufei: Onna, none of us do…
Sarafu: Boy, I'm starving! *runs in kitchen* Let me cook up a little something for all of us!
Fuujin: Ummmmm okay…
Quatre: Oh, great, I hope she doesn't get into one of her 'experiments' again...
Fuujin: You want some help?
Wufei: No, onna, she doesn't.
Sarafu: Oh, no! I got it! *drops something, it shatters* Um...Quatre???
Quatre: What now???
Sarafu: Ya know that two foot glass elephant ya got sitting in the middle of the kitchen table???
Quatre: *shocked* You didn't...
Sarafu: Apparently...I did...
Quatre: *storms into kitchen*
Wufei: Onna, you can't cook…
Fuujin: Yes, I can!
Wufei: No…
Fuujin: YES!
Wufei: NO!
Fuujin: Let's see YOU cook…
Wufei: I can't!
Duo: *waves hand* Whoa, hey, guys, calm down, will ya???
Fuujin: See?! I can cook! It's YOU who can't!
Wufei: YOU can't cook, either!
Heero: *walks in, gun in hands* Mission...accomplished...*sees them fighting, smiles* ...I'm not involved...
Fuujin: Good boy, Heero. And I CAN COOK!
Wufei: NO, YOU CAN'T! Onna, you can NOT COOK!
Fuujin: I CAN!
Wufei: CAN'T!
Duo: *trying to break them up* Come on, guys! Break it up!
Fuujin: Duo, can I cook?
Duo: *thinks* Well, let's see...last thing I had that you cooked were those pies...*scratches head* or was that Hilde that made those... *looks at ceiling* or was is maybe Sarafu that made the pies, and Fuujin that made those muffins...*smiles* I know! It was Sarafu who made the pies, Hilde made the muffins, and Fuujin made the cake!
Fuujin: Duo, did you like the cake I gave you?
Wufei: You made him a cake?
Duo: Or maybe it was...
Fuujin: I made the damn cake.
Quatre: *can be heard in kitchen, scolding Sarafu*
Duo: Oh yeah, that chocolate one, right???
Fuujin: Yeah.
Wufei: Well, can she cook?
Duo: Yeah, it was pretty good...
Fuujin: Ha!
Wufei: Wait a second, she made YOU a cake?
Duo: Well, um...
Fuujin: Yes, I made him a cake.
Wufei: But…
Fuujin: But you never showed up for dinner!
Wufei: *looks at the ground*
Fuujin: Heero, did you like the pies I made?
Heero: ...I'm not involved...
Fuujin: Too late.
Heero: *grumbles, walks away* Whatever...
Wufei: PIES?! *stops Heero*
Heero: *stops*
Wufei: Well, can onna cook?
Heero: ...hmmm...*glares*
W: -_-'
Sarafu: *walks out with sandwiches on a platter*
Quatre: *can be heard in kitchen, sweeping up broken glass*
Sarafu: *sits down, face red*
Fuujin: *walks into the kitchen*
Wufei: *looks at Sarafu*
Trowa: *after about a half an hour, comes out, whistling "Rhythm Emotion"*
Sarafu: *smiles, then frowns*
Wufei: *raises a brow*
Sarafu: Um...sandwich, Wufei???
Wufei: Sure…
Heero: I'm not involved...
Wufei: SHUT UP, HEERO!
Sarafu: *sniff*
Wufei: Onna, you okay?
Sarafu: *smiles, eyes watering* I'll be fine, Wufei...thanks for asking...
Wufei: *looks at her* Crying?
Sarafu: *looks at Wufei* Wufei, do you think Quatre loves me???
Wufei: *looks surprised* …Yeah…
Sarafu: *smiles* Thank you, Wufei, you're such a good friend…
Wufei: *smiles slightly*
Sarafu: *grabs sandwich, starts to eat it*
Wufei: *takes one and eats*
Sarafu: *eats another sandwich*
Wufei: *watches*
Sarafu: *smiles at Wufei*
Wufei: *smiles*
Sarafu: Why's he just sitting there?
Wufei: *looks at the ground*
***And now for the soap opera part of the RPG…I don't know how it turned into a soap opera…don't read on if you don't like mushy stuff…^_^***
Fuujin: Quatre, why was her face red?
Quatre: *sweep, sweep, sweep*
Fuujin: Quatre?
Quatre: WHAT?!
Fuujin: *stumbles backwards, tripping over self*
Quatre: *continues to sweep*
Fuujin: *picks up the larger pieces* Why was Sarafu's face red?
Quatre: Don't ask me...
Fuujin: Well, yelling and crashing means something!
Quatre: I didn't do anything, ok?!
Fuujin: *slaps him* Put your damn head on straight, man!
Quatre: *rubs face* What the hell was that for?!
Fuujin: Can't you see that she likes you? Or are you too damn blind?
Quatre: I know she likes me, it's just that I'm sick of it!
Fuujin: Why? She does everything you want!
Quatre: Do you know how much this damn elephant cost me, HUH!?
Heero: *walks in* I'm not involved...
Quatre: SHUT THE HELL UP, HEERO!!!
Heero: *walks away*
Fuujin: FUCK THE ELEPHANT!! I'LL GET YOU ANOTHER FUCKING ELEPHANT!!!
Quatre: Yeah, like YOU have the money...
Fuujin: Who says I need money? I can get the money!
Quatre: How?! Steal it?!
Fuujin: No.. well, maybe…
Quatre: Dammit! I don't want another elephant that's paid for with other people's money!
Fuujin: Why do you care?! You get your fucking elephant!!!
Quatre: *sighs*...You know what, forget it...*throws pieces in trash, walks to door*
Fuujin: No, I'm not going to! *runs over to the door*
Quatre: *grabs coat* Just leave me alone...I'm going out...
Fuujin: No!
Quatre: Get out of my way! I can't STAND this place anymore!
Fuujin: Then make us leave! Don't you dare walk out on her!
Quatre: ...
***
Sarafu: *eats sandwich after sandwich after sandwich*
Wufei: Onna, stop eating.
Sarafu: *takes a drink of champagne* (where'd the champagne come from? I don't know...)…HIC!…
***
Fuujin: Do whatever you want to me, but don't you DARE hurt my friends!
Quatre: Well, then why don't you go and comfort her? She probably needs you right now more than me...
Fuujin: Why don't you go apologize?
Quatre: She's the one who should be doing the apologizing!
Fuujin: Why?! She did! *glares at him* Your a fucking asshole. *walks away*
Quatre: ...*sighs, walks out of door*...
***
Fuujin: Sarafu, you okay?
Sarafu: *drinks another glass of champagne like it's juice*…HIC!… I...was jusht...having a...drink...wiff...*hic*...Wufei...
Fuujin: Drunk… *sighs, turns to Duo* Duo, go talk some sense into Quatre, before I beat it into him…
Duo: *fast asleep*
Fuujin: Oookay, then…nevermind…
Wufei: *stands and goes to find Quatre* I'll do it…
***
Quatre: *walking with hands in pockets* Dammit! Fuujin was right...I am an asshole... shit...
Wufei: *finds him*
Quatre: Wufei? What are you doing here???
Wufei: *looks at Quatre* Well, Ang was going to beat some sense into you if you don't go talk to Sarafu.
Quatre: *turns away from Wufei* I can't...not after what I said to her...
Wufei: What'd you say?
Quatre: I said some...pretty harsh things...
Wufei: Like…??? Tell me, I know more about onnas than you think.
Quatre: Well, the elephant, for one, how clumsy she was, how she always butts into my personal life... she'd never forgive me...
Wufei: She might. Get home.
Quatre: She drives me crazy, but...*sighs*...I love her so much...
Wufei: Then get home.
Quatre: *looks over at Wufei* But...she'll never want to see me again...I...just...can't...*runs off*
Wufei: *follows Quatre*
Trowa: *uses his telepathy* Wufei, come home. Leave him...
Wufei: Why?
Trowa: Trust me, this is something Sarafu and Quatre have to get through together...by themselves...they don't need your help...
Wufei: How, when they're not together? I know, if it was....
Trowa: Just trust me...they'll get through...
Wufei: *heads back to the house*
***
Fuujin: Sarafu, I'm sure Quatre and Wufei will be back soon…
Sarafu: Quatre...please come home...
Fuujin: He will
Sarafu: *looks at Fuujin* Ya really think so?
Fuujin: I know so. They always come back…
Sarafu: *laying on couch* ...Quatre...
Fuujin: It's okay. He'll be back any second now…
To Be Continued…^_^
Author's Note: No, Sarafu and I do not own any of the GW characters. I own Fuujin, and Sarafu owns Sarafu (no duh!). Remember, this was made to make people laugh. If you are offended by any of this material, send your flames to chocoboviii@aol.com ! If you have any compliments, send them to chocoboviii@aol.com or fuujin_15@yahoo.com ! ^_^ Stay sweet, peoples!
The RPG With No Name (pretty original title, huh?)
Written by Fuujin and Sarafu
Edited by Sarafu (just thought I'd say that!)
*Fuujin, Sarafu, Quatre, and Wufei are sitting in room, around a coffee table, talking*
Fuujin: *laughs*
Sarafu: You think I'm funny, Fuujin?
Wufei: That was not funny...
Fuujin: Well, I thought it was funny…
Quatre: I thought it was humorous...
Sarafu: *eyes sparkling* You really think so, Quatty???
Quatre: Uuuh...yeah, I guess...
Sarafu: *smiles brightly, teeth shine*
Wufei: What's wrong with that onna's teeth???
Sarafu: I got them cleaned nice and good! *smiles wider* My teeth are soooooooo nice!!! Thanks to Quatty, he paid for my dentist appointment!
Quatre: *scratches head* Hehehe...
Fuujin: You're lucky, Sarafu. *glares at Wufei* All he does is eat, sleep, and spar…
Wufei: So???
Sarafu: Hey, Wu-wu, if you like to spar so much, why doncha fight me???
Wufei: Don't call me Wu-wu…
Quatre: I don't think so...I already paid to get your teeth cleaned, I don't wanna pay to get them replaced...
Wufei: *laughs*
Fuujin: *trying not to laugh*
Sarafu: *hands on hips* And what is THAT supposed to mean, Quatre Raberba Winner?!
Quatre: Uh oh, I'm in trouble now! She used my full name...
Fuujin: That he doesn't want you to hurt Wufei!
Wufei: What do you mean hurt me?
Fuujin: Shut up, Wu-wu!
Quatre: Uh...yeah, that's what I meant...I don't want you to hurt Wu-wu...I mean...
Wufei: Quatre, shut up before....
Sarafu: *steps up to Wufei* Before you what???
Fuujin: *slaps him upside the head* Watch your mouth!
Sarafu: *throws arms around Quatre*
Wufei: *shakes head*
Sarafu: You're not coming close to my wittle Quatty-watty!
Quatre: *blushes* Why me...what a ridiculous nickname...
Fuujin: *trying not to laugh*
Wufei: *laughs*
Fuujin: Look who's talking, Wu-wu…
Sarafu: What was that, my little desert prince??? *leans closer*
Quatre: Um...*leans back*
Duo: *runs in, pulls them apart* Ok, you two, knock it off...party's over, guys...
Fuujin: Hey, Duo!
Sarafu: Duo! You ruined my moment with Quatre...*fist clenched* Omae o korosu...
Fuujin: Want to borrow the mallet?
Sarafu: Oh, yes please...*grabs mallet*
Fuujin: *sits back and watches*
Quatre: *grabs mallet out of her hands* Sarafu, act your age, not your shoe size...
Sarafu: But Quaaaaaaaatreeeeeeeee.....
Quatre: Don't you 'But Quatre' me, young lady! No more mallets or frying pans for you!
Sarafu: *pouts* Oh pooh...
Duo: *gets out of hiding* Thanks, Quatre, buddy! I thought Sarafu was gonna go Heero on me...
Fuujin: But that's no fun! *takes the mallet from Quatre* Give me that!
Quatre: Ok, ok, sheesh...
Fuujin: Duo, honey, come here…
Duo: N-no way, babe! I'm outta here! *runs away*
Wufei: Scared of an onna?
Duo: Hell yeah! Especially one who's armed!
Fuujin: *turns to Wufei* You want to be beaten with the mallet?
Wufei: *shakes head* No…
Fuujin: *puts the mallet down* There!
Sarafu: Quatre, I'm gonna go in the kitchen and make you some tea...
Quatre: No, thank you...Who knows WHAT you'll put in it...
Wufei: Onna, make me a cake.
Fuujin: Bake your own damn cake!
Trowa: *walks in*
Fuujin: *looks at Trowa* Hey, Trowa!
Quatre: Trowa? How'd you get in here???
Trowa:...I just flipped over the gate...
Duo: What'd you do that for??? The gate was open.
Fuujin: *looks at them*
Wufei: ...
Trowa: *raises eyebrow* It was??? *looks out window* Oh, damn...hurt my back for nothing...
Fuujin: Trowa, are you feeling okay?
Trowa: Yeah, I'm fine...
Quatre: Now, watch your language, Trowa...
Fuujin: Why?
Trowa: I feel so dizzy...just what did Cathy put in my Java, anyway???
Quatre: This is my house, please no profane language...
Wufei: Leave him be, onna.
Fuujin: You're no fun…
Duo: This is your house, Quatre!? Damn, you sure got a hell of a place!
Trowa: Yeah, pretty damn nice...
Fuujin: *laughs*
Sarafu: And it's pretty damn roomy, too!
Quatre: *growls*
Sarafu: So, shall I get us all some damn tea???
Quatre: *head bowed in anger*
Fuujin: Sure why the hell not?
Quatre: *sweating*
Sarafu: Should I, dammit???
Wufei: *grins evilly* Yes, dammit!
Duo: Damn, now it's my turn to say damn...
Sarafu: Damndamndamndamn...
Fuujin & Wufei: *try not to laugh*
Fuujin: Were the hell is Heero? He's got to come see this bitchin' place!!!
Quatre: *gets up, knocking chair over* DID ANY OF YOU HEAR A FUCKING WORD I SAID?! GODDAMMIT! SARAFU, GET IN THAT FUCKING KITCHEN, AND MAKE SOME FUCKING TEA, NOW! THE REST OF YOU, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! *sits down in chair, arms folded over chest*
Everyone: *in shock*
Sarafu: *obeys and goes into kitchen*
Fuujin & Wufei: *obey*
Heero: Hey, guys. Did I miss anything???
Quatre: Fuck you...
Heero: Ooookay then...
Fuujin: *trying not to laugh*
Wufei: *covers Fuujin's mouth*
Heero: *sits down, leans over to Duo* What's wrong with Quatre???
Duo: *whispers* He's just a little excited right now...
Sarafu: Ok, now, who wants some tea???
Heero: Tell me what you put in it, and I'll think about it...
Sarafu: Oh, hahaha. Very funny, Heero...
Fuujin: I'll take some.
Duo: *raises hand* I want some!!!
Wufei: Onna, give me a cup…
Sarafu: Say please??? *hands cup to Duo and Fuujin*
Wufei: Now, onna.
Sarafu: Say pwetty pweeze???
Wufei: No.
Sarafu: Then you don't get any...not until you say the magic word!
Wufei: *mumbles* Please…
Sarafu: *hand to ear* What's that??? Did you say something???
Wufei: *mumbles it again*
Sarafu: Could you say that again, I didn't quite hear you...
Wufei: *in a low voice* Please.
Fuujin: *trying not to smile*
Sarafu: Now say pretty please...
Wufei: *mumbles* Pretty please…
Sarafu: Say pretty please with a cherry on top...
Wufei: Dammit, onna! Give me the fucking tea!
Sarafu: *smiles* Ok, close enough! *hands him cup*
Quatre: *pouting*
Sarafu: Quatre, honey, would you like a cup? I made your favorite...
Quatre: *in a low voice* No, thank you...
Sarafu: *frowns* Well, if you don't want it...I'll just make you a cup and put it on the table for you just in case, ok???
Quatre: *still pouting*
Fuujin: *whispers to Wufei* Tell Quatre you're sorry…
Wufei: Onna, your crazy!
Duo: Come on, Quatre, man! We're sorry...*glares at Wufei* Aren't we, Wufei???
Everyone: *glares at Wufei*
Fuujin: Yes, and I have a mallet. You put two and two together…
Wufei: I'm...sor...ry
Fuujin: *jaw drops*
Quatre: *looks at Wufei* Well, since even Wufei apologized...I forgive you all...
Everyone: *sighs*
Wufei: *sweatdrop*
Fuujin: *smiles* You did good, honey!
Quatre: *takes cup in hand, takes a sip*
Sarafu: *smiles*
Quatre: Hey, this is pretty damn good!
Sarafu: *giggles*
Fuujin & Wufei: *sweatdrop*
Quatre: *smiles*
Heero & Trowa: ...
Wufei: I'm going to kill him…
Fuujin: Settle down, honey…
Wufei: Did you just hear him!?
Fuujin: Yes, now sit down…
Duo: Yeah, settle down, Wu-wu...
Wufei: DON'T CALL ME WU-WU!!!
Quatre: I'm just trying to be funny, Wufei...
Duo: *smiles at Wufei*
Fuujin: *trying not to laugh*
Duo: *gives Wufei a peace sign*
Wufei: *flicks Duo off*
Duo: Well, that was uncalled for...
Sarafu: Oh, my...*covers Quatre's eyes*
Heero: *covers Sarafu's eyes*
Wufei: *puts finger down* And my name is WuFEI!!!
Sarafu: So, Fuujin, I'm just asking, but…*smiles* You're obsessed with Wufei, aren't you???
Fuujin: Just a lil…
Sarafu: Oh???
Fuujin: *hides my shrine to him, Quatre, and Trowa*
Wufei: Onna?
Fuujin: What?
Wufei: What are you hiding?
Quatre: Yeah, what are you hiding???
Trowa: ...yeah...
Fuujin: NOTHING!!! Nothing at all… *face turns red*
Wufei: Onna, what is it?
Fuujin: Ummmmm...nothing…
Duo: *sighs* How come I'm the one who has no fans in this room???
Sarafu: That's not true! I'm a fan, Duo!
Fuujin: *hugs Duo*
Duo: Really? Do you have a shrine dedicated to me!? *smiles* SCORE!!!
Sarafu: Well, um...no, actually...
Duo: *falls out of chair*
Fuujin: I do! I just left your shrine in my room…*covers mouth*
Duo: *looks at Fuujin, smiles*
Wufei: Shrine?
Fuujin: *blushes like mad*
Sarafu: *smiles* I have a shrine!!!
Duo: Gee, I wonder WHO it's dedicated to...
Quatre: *blushes*
Fuujin: *hides shrines to the GW guys, looks at Quatre* Me, too!
Sarafu: *throws arms around Quatre's neck*
Quatre: *sighs, bows head*
Wufei: Onna. What shrine?
Fuujin: ...
Dorothy: *walks in* Hey, Quatre! What's up???
Sarafu: *glares at Dorothy, thinks of evil things to do*
Quatre: *sighs, pops bubble*
Sarafu: *jumps, smiles*
Fuujin: *beats Dorothy with the mallet* I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! HATE! HATE!! HATE!!! *stops* Sorry about that…
Dorothy: *beaten and bruised* N...o....prob...l...em...
Sarafu: Excuse me, peoples, I'll be right back...
Quatre: *raises eyebrow* Huh? Sarafu???
Sarafu: I'll be RIGHT back! *disappears up stairs*
Dorothy: *sits down next to Quatre* So, Quatre, how's life lately???
Quatre: Um...well...actually...
Dorothy: Well, that's good! Relena and I just went shopping, and I got this new dress! *shows off dress* What do you think of it???
Sarafu: *hearing what she said, thinks* Hmph! It'd look better on a man than you...
Quatre: It looks...nice, I guess...
Duo: Hell yeah! *drools*
Fuujin: *hits her with the mallet again*
Wufei: *begins to puke*
Fuujin: I don't think Wu-wu likes it…
Heero: *raises eyebrow* How can Duo drool over such a disgusting display?
Trowa: I was just thinking the same...
Heero: *turns to Trowa* Whoa! You can read my thoughts???
Trowa: Yes, I have been able to do so ever since I was a child...
Heero: Oh, this is great...does that mean that you heard me when I was thinking about...???
Trowa: Oh, yes, every word...
Fuujin: *looks at Trowa & Heero* What are you two doing?
Trowa: *uses telepathy* I'm reading Heero's mind.
Fuujin: *hits Dorothy over and over* Cool!
Trowa: And I can read yours, too.…tsk tsk...naughty thoughts, naughty thoughts...
Fuujin: Hey, get outta my head!
Wufei: *looks at Fuujin & Trowa* What's onna thinking?
Fuujin: Trowa, I'll beat you with this mallet
Heero: *pushes Trowa over* I don't think you wanna know...
Fuujin: *sighs* He's so cute…
Dorothy: So, Quatre, I wanna tell ya something that I've been wanting to tell you all this time...*leans in closer, whispers something in Quatre's ear*
Quatre: *slowly, face begins to glow "very" red*
Fuujin: SARAFU, the BAKA is FLIRTING WITH YOUR MAN!!!
Sarafu: *comes down, now looking like an army soldier at war (with the black warpaint and everything)* DIE, YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!
Sarafu: *starts to fire at Dorothy, pumps her full of lead*
Fuujin: *smiles and watches* I got dibs on Sarafu!
Wufei: Same here!
Duo: *raises money in the air* Me too!
Fuujin: *looks at Trowa* Why are all the good looking guys crazy?
Trowa: What was that???
Fuujin:God, don't you dare me messin' around with my head!
Trowa: I heard that, you little shit...
Fuujin: I love you, too, Trowa.
Trowa: *blushes*
Heero: Trowa, why are you blushing???
Fuujin: *smiles*
Trowa: *walks away* If you'll excuse me, I have to go use the little boy's room...
Quatre: Just don't throw up on the rug, it came straight from Persia! Cost me a LOT!!!
Trowa: *waves* Got it...
Fuujin: *giggles*
Wufei: Onna, what do you have to do with this?
Fuujin: Me? Oooh, nothing…
Sarafu: *stands ontop of Dorothy's mutilated body* Victory is mine!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
Everyone: *claps*
Sarafu: *dragging Dorothy's body, makes it to bathroom before Trowa* Now you're gonna pay…
Quatre: What's Sarafu gonna do in the bathroom with Dorothy, anyway???
Sarafu: *sticks Dorothy's head in toilet, flushes* Dorothy go down the hooooole...
Dorothy: *spinning around in toilet*
Fuujin: *laughing*
Trowa: *runs in and throws up on Dorothy's head as it spins around*
Sarafu: *pats Trowa's back* That's right, Trowa, let it aaaall out!
Fuujin: Hey, Sarafu, can we kill your bro?
Sutaro: WHAT?!
Sarafu: Good idea! *runs after Sutaro with gun*
Fuujin: *grins evilly and takes Wufei's sword*
Wufei: Onna, that's mine!
Sutaro: *running around house* HAPPY THOUGHTS! HAPPY THOUGHTS! HAPPY THOUGHTS!...
Fuujin: *slashes and stabs Sutaro over and over* Happy happy, joy joy…
Sarafu: *joins in, firing at Sutaro* Happy happy, joy joy…
Sutaro: Oh! Ouch! OOH! AHH! Hey! Not that! OOCH! OWIE!!!
Wufei: Note to self: Do NOT piss onna off.
Sarafu: *pumps rest of round into Sutaro's body, runs out of ammo* Dammit!!!
Quatre: *glares* Sarafu...what did I tell you...
Fuujin: *hands her the mallet*
Sarafu: Heehee...*takes mallet*
Fuujin: Hummmmmmm... *stabs him again and again* Hey, Duo!
Duo: What?
Fuujin: *loud enough for Trowa to hear* Is Trowa gay?
Sarafu: *whacks Sutaro over and over* Whistle while you work! *whistles* And merrily, together, we can smash him to a pulp! So hum a merry tune! hmmmmmmmm....
Fuujin: Or does he like Dorothy?
Trowa: *wipes mouth* You're a very bad girl...
Fuujin: You don't know the half of it! Weeell, TROWA???
Trowa: ...
Sutaro: *now smashed to a pulp*
Fuujin: *cuts his head off*
Trowa: *continues throwing up on Dorothy, who is now halfway down the hole*
Sarafu: *wipes hands on pants* Well, I think that about does it! *brings mallet down really hard, pieces of Sutaro fly all over walls* THERE!
Heero: Mission accomplished...
Sarafu: You said it, Heero...
Wufei: Quatre, you and Trowa spend a LOT of time together…
Fuujin: *laughs*
Sarafu: *looks at Fuujin* What's THAT supposed to mean???
Fuujin: You don't want to know…
Quatre: *falls out of chair* I think I'm gonna be sick...
Trowa: *throws up even more*
Dorothy: *feet spinning around and around*
Wufei: *laughs*
Fuujin: *smacks Wufei with the arm she picked up off the floor*
Wufei: OUCH!
Fuujin: *drops the arm*
Sarafu: Injustice, Wu-wu???
Wufei: YES INJUSTICE! DON'T CALL ME WU-WU!
Sarafu: *smiles*
Fuujin: *sits* Now what do we do? *looks around* Quatre, your house is a mess…
Quatre: *on hands and knees, scrubbing blood and guts off of floor*
Wufei: *watches him*
Fuujin: Quatre?
Quatre: *hard a work*
Sarafu: Oh, Quatre, sweetie, this is my fault...let me help...*rolls up sleeves* This looks like a job for...*drum roll* SARAFU, THE FANTASIC...CLEAner...wo…man...*sighs*...Well, here I go...
Wufei: *laughs*
Fuujin: *worshiping shrines, one to each GW guy*
Sarafu: *runs around house, cleaning it in seconds*
Quatre: *surprised and happy*
Sarafu: *finishes, runs up to Quatre, panting* Well (pant) what do you (pant) think???
Quatre: ...(speechless)...
Sarafu: *smiles*
Quatre: Sarafu...thank you soooooooo much...
Sarafu: *smiles widely* Anything for my little Quatty!
Fuujin: *still worshiping them*
Wufei: Onna, what are you doing?
Fuujin: N....nothing…
Trowa: *comes out of bathroom, thinks to Wufei* I know what she's doing...and thinking...
Wufei: What?
Trowa: *walks up to Wufei, whispers in ear*
Fuujin: What are you telling him?
Duo: *raises eyebrows* Come on, tell us too!
Wufei: 0_0
Trowa: Don't act so surprised, she's been thinkin about it a lot...and also…
Fuujin: DON'T YOU DARE, TROWA BARTON!!!
Trowa: *folds arms, smiles at Fuujin (a very rare thing)* If you don't want me to, then put on your kneepads and start apologizing...
Fuujin: *follows his orders*
Wufei: Onna, stop that!
Heero: ...I'm not involved...
*gurgling sound from bathroom*
Quatre: What's that sound???
Sarafu: *runs in bathroom* Dammit! Dorothy clogged up the fucking toilet...
Fuujin & Wufei: *laugh*
Quatre: SARAFU!!! WHAT DID I TELL YOU!?
Sarafu: Sorry...*straps on kneepads, apologizes to Quatre*
Fuujin: Trowa, master, may I stand now?
Trowa: You may stand...*sits down*
Fuujin: *gets up, sits next to Wufei*
Quatre: *drags Sarafu into bathroom, closes door*
Fuujin: Hmmm, I wonder what they're doing?
Wufei: I don't want to know…
Sarafu: *screams from bathroom* No, Quatre! Not that!! Anything but that!!!
Fuujin: Now neither do I…
Quatre: Sarafu, sit still...
*banging and booming from bathroom, something falls and shatters*
Fuujin: 0_0
Everyone: *sweatdrop*
Quatre: *walks out, turns back into bathroom* And don't take it out until I tell you to! *walks over, sits down on couch*
Trowa & Heero: *raise eyebrows*
Fuujin: *stares at Quatre* Quatre can be down right evil if he wants to…
Quatre: That'll teach her...*folds arms*
Wufei: *looks at Quatre and raises an eyebrow*
Duo: Yo, Sarafu, you ok???
Sarafu: SHK PHM PHK UPH!
Everyone: *raise eyebrows*
Sarafu: *walks out with a red bar of soap in her mouth*
Quatre: I TOLD her a MILLION TIMES, NOT to disobey me!
Fuujin: Why is the soap red? I always thought it was white, blue, or green?
Quatre: Yes, well this is special soap, made for potty-mouths, like Sarafu!
Sarafu: *glares at Q* And to think, I worshiped you...
Trowa: *sighs*
Fuujin: Fuck this, Sarafu! Take that out of your mouth!
Quatre: *glares at Fuujin* You wanna end up with a bar in your mouth as well???
Heero: *tries not to laugh*
Trowa: *tries not to laugh*
Fuujin: Dammit, Sarafu, take the soap out!
Quatre: No, Sarafu! Don't take the soap out!
Fuujin: Dammit, Quatre, don't FUCKING FIGHT WITH ME!!!
Quatre: *turns to Wufei* Wufei, a little help, please?!
Wufei: Onna scary when she's mad…
Fuujin: Damn right, I am!
Sarafu: HPH KHPTHSKPH PHSKS SHPHSPSWPSNPSP SHYPHSP!!!
Trowa: *coughs nervously*
Fuujin: *looks at Trowa* Are you in my mind again? *takes the soap out of Sarafu's mouth*
Sarafu: Hey, gimme that back! *sticks soap back in mouth*
Quatre: That's a good girl, Sarafu!
Fuujin: *looks confused* What the FUCK!?
Wufei: *looks at Quatre*
Sarafu: *sticks other end in Fuujin's mouth* Here, try it, it's pretty good! Cherry flavor!
Fuujin: *takes the soap out of mouth*
Sarafu: *cringes*
Heero: ...I'm not involved...
Fuujin: Heero, go find Relena!
Heero: *glares* Must...find...Relena...*walks off*
Fuujin: Kill her when you do!
Wufei: *looks at Fuujin* Do you like anybody?
Fuujin: Yes.
Heero: Must...find...Relena...omae...o...korosu...
Wufei: Who?
Sarafu: *smiles*
Fuujin: Ummmmm...let me get back to you on that one…
Sarafu: *frowns, sucks on soap*
Fuujin: Sarafu is my friend. You guys are…
Sarafu: *looks at Quatre, takes soap out of mouth* Hey, Quatre, ya got any in apple or grape???
Quatre: I don't know, go check under the sink.
Fuujin:* laughs*
Sarafu: *runs in bathroom*
*toilet is flushed, everyone turns to bathroom*
Sarafu: Sorry! Dorothy wasn't down all the way yet!
Fuujin: *laughs*
Sarafu: *sticks plunger in toilet, pumps it up and down* Why the fuck did she clog the toilet???
Quatre: What was that, Sarafu???
Wufei: *sweatdrop*
Sarafu: *sighs, sticks new bar of soap in mouth* Phckn sht... *pulls bar of soap out of mouth* Hey, kiwi lime!!! not bad...*sticks it back in mouth*
Fuujin: *laughs*
Duo: Oh, sorry! I fell asleep there for a while! Did I miss anything???
Fuujin: *sweatdrop*
Trowa: *uses telepathy on Duo* Nothing special...
Duo: Who's that??? Who's there??? Is that you, Hitler???
Trowa: *sweatdrop* No...
Duo: Wait, don't tell me...Sadam???
Trowa: *sighs, frustrated* No...
Duo: *leans back* I thought it was you, Treize...
Trowa: Never mind, go back to sleep...
Fuujin: What are we going to do now?
Trowa: *makes spooky sounds in Fuujin's head*
Fuujin: *shakes head* Get the hell out of my head…
Sarafu: TOILET'S UNCLOGGED!!!
Trowa: FINALLY!!! *runs in bathroom, slams door shut*
Fuujin: *laughs*
Sarafu: Geez, looks like he had to go...
Wufei: *yawns*
Trowa: *is heard whistling in the bathroom*
Fuujin: I don't want to know…
Wufei: Onna, none of us do…
Sarafu: Boy, I'm starving! *runs in kitchen* Let me cook up a little something for all of us!
Fuujin: Ummmmm okay…
Quatre: Oh, great, I hope she doesn't get into one of her 'experiments' again...
Fuujin: You want some help?
Wufei: No, onna, she doesn't.
Sarafu: Oh, no! I got it! *drops something, it shatters* Um...Quatre???
Quatre: What now???
Sarafu: Ya know that two foot glass elephant ya got sitting in the middle of the kitchen table???
Quatre: *shocked* You didn't...
Sarafu: Apparently...I did...
Quatre: *storms into kitchen*
Wufei: Onna, you can't cook…
Fuujin: Yes, I can!
Wufei: No…
Fuujin: YES!
Wufei: NO!
Fuujin: Let's see YOU cook…
Wufei: I can't!
Duo: *waves hand* Whoa, hey, guys, calm down, will ya???
Fuujin: See?! I can cook! It's YOU who can't!
Wufei: YOU can't cook, either!
Heero: *walks in, gun in hands* Mission...accomplished...*sees them fighting, smiles* ...I'm not involved...
Fuujin: Good boy, Heero. And I CAN COOK!
Wufei: NO, YOU CAN'T! Onna, you can NOT COOK!
Fuujin: I CAN!
Wufei: CAN'T!
Duo: *trying to break them up* Come on, guys! Break it up!
Fuujin: Duo, can I cook?
Duo: *thinks* Well, let's see...last thing I had that you cooked were those pies...*scratches head* or was that Hilde that made those... *looks at ceiling* or was is maybe Sarafu that made the pies, and Fuujin that made those muffins...*smiles* I know! It was Sarafu who made the pies, Hilde made the muffins, and Fuujin made the cake!
Fuujin: Duo, did you like the cake I gave you?
Wufei: You made him a cake?
Duo: Or maybe it was...
Fuujin: I made the damn cake.
Quatre: *can be heard in kitchen, scolding Sarafu*
Duo: Oh yeah, that chocolate one, right???
Fuujin: Yeah.
Wufei: Well, can she cook?
Duo: Yeah, it was pretty good...
Fuujin: Ha!
Wufei: Wait a second, she made YOU a cake?
Duo: Well, um...
Fuujin: Yes, I made him a cake.
Wufei: But…
Fuujin: But you never showed up for dinner!
Wufei: *looks at the ground*
Fuujin: Heero, did you like the pies I made?
Heero: ...I'm not involved...
Fuujin: Too late.
Heero: *grumbles, walks away* Whatever...
Wufei: PIES?! *stops Heero*
Heero: *stops*
Wufei: Well, can onna cook?
Heero: ...hmmm...*glares*
W: -_-'
Sarafu: *walks out with sandwiches on a platter*
Quatre: *can be heard in kitchen, sweeping up broken glass*
Sarafu: *sits down, face red*
Fuujin: *walks into the kitchen*
Wufei: *looks at Sarafu*
Trowa: *after about a half an hour, comes out, whistling "Rhythm Emotion"*
Sarafu: *smiles, then frowns*
Wufei: *raises a brow*
Sarafu: Um...sandwich, Wufei???
Wufei: Sure…
Heero: I'm not involved...
Wufei: SHUT UP, HEERO!
Sarafu: *sniff*
Wufei: Onna, you okay?
Sarafu: *smiles, eyes watering* I'll be fine, Wufei...thanks for asking...
Wufei: *looks at her* Crying?
Sarafu: *looks at Wufei* Wufei, do you think Quatre loves me???
Wufei: *looks surprised* …Yeah…
Sarafu: *smiles* Thank you, Wufei, you're such a good friend…
Wufei: *smiles slightly*
Sarafu: *grabs sandwich, starts to eat it*
Wufei: *takes one and eats*
Sarafu: *eats another sandwich*
Wufei: *watches*
Sarafu: *smiles at Wufei*
Wufei: *smiles*
Sarafu: Why's he just sitting there?
Wufei: *looks at the ground*
***And now for the soap opera part of the RPG…I don't know how it turned into a soap opera…don't read on if you don't like mushy stuff…^_^***
Fuujin: Quatre, why was her face red?
Quatre: *sweep, sweep, sweep*
Fuujin: Quatre?
Quatre: WHAT?!
Fuujin: *stumbles backwards, tripping over self*
Quatre: *continues to sweep*
Fuujin: *picks up the larger pieces* Why was Sarafu's face red?
Quatre: Don't ask me...
Fuujin: Well, yelling and crashing means something!
Quatre: I didn't do anything, ok?!
Fuujin: *slaps him* Put your damn head on straight, man!
Quatre: *rubs face* What the hell was that for?!
Fuujin: Can't you see that she likes you? Or are you too damn blind?
Quatre: I know she likes me, it's just that I'm sick of it!
Fuujin: Why? She does everything you want!
Quatre: Do you know how much this damn elephant cost me, HUH!?
Heero: *walks in* I'm not involved...
Quatre: SHUT THE HELL UP, HEERO!!!
Heero: *walks away*
Fuujin: FUCK THE ELEPHANT!! I'LL GET YOU ANOTHER FUCKING ELEPHANT!!!
Quatre: Yeah, like YOU have the money...
Fuujin: Who says I need money? I can get the money!
Quatre: How?! Steal it?!
Fuujin: No.. well, maybe…
Quatre: Dammit! I don't want another elephant that's paid for with other people's money!
Fuujin: Why do you care?! You get your fucking elephant!!!
Quatre: *sighs*...You know what, forget it...*throws pieces in trash, walks to door*
Fuujin: No, I'm not going to! *runs over to the door*
Quatre: *grabs coat* Just leave me alone...I'm going out...
Fuujin: No!
Quatre: Get out of my way! I can't STAND this place anymore!
Fuujin: Then make us leave! Don't you dare walk out on her!
Quatre: ...
***
Sarafu: *eats sandwich after sandwich after sandwich*
Wufei: Onna, stop eating.
Sarafu: *takes a drink of champagne* (where'd the champagne come from? I don't know...)…HIC!…
***
Fuujin: Do whatever you want to me, but don't you DARE hurt my friends!
Quatre: Well, then why don't you go and comfort her? She probably needs you right now more than me...
Fuujin: Why don't you go apologize?
Quatre: She's the one who should be doing the apologizing!
Fuujin: Why?! She did! *glares at him* Your a fucking asshole. *walks away*
Quatre: ...*sighs, walks out of door*...
***
Fuujin: Sarafu, you okay?
Sarafu: *drinks another glass of champagne like it's juice*…HIC!… I...was jusht...having a...drink...wiff...*hic*...Wufei...
Fuujin: Drunk… *sighs, turns to Duo* Duo, go talk some sense into Quatre, before I beat it into him…
Duo: *fast asleep*
Fuujin: Oookay, then…nevermind…
Wufei: *stands and goes to find Quatre* I'll do it…
***
Quatre: *walking with hands in pockets* Dammit! Fuujin was right...I am an asshole... shit...
Wufei: *finds him*
Quatre: Wufei? What are you doing here???
Wufei: *looks at Quatre* Well, Ang was going to beat some sense into you if you don't go talk to Sarafu.
Quatre: *turns away from Wufei* I can't...not after what I said to her...
Wufei: What'd you say?
Quatre: I said some...pretty harsh things...
Wufei: Like…??? Tell me, I know more about onnas than you think.
Quatre: Well, the elephant, for one, how clumsy she was, how she always butts into my personal life... she'd never forgive me...
Wufei: She might. Get home.
Quatre: She drives me crazy, but...*sighs*...I love her so much...
Wufei: Then get home.
Quatre: *looks over at Wufei* But...she'll never want to see me again...I...just...can't...*runs off*
Wufei: *follows Quatre*
Trowa: *uses his telepathy* Wufei, come home. Leave him...
Wufei: Why?
Trowa: Trust me, this is something Sarafu and Quatre have to get through together...by themselves...they don't need your help...
Wufei: How, when they're not together? I know, if it was....
Trowa: Just trust me...they'll get through...
Wufei: *heads back to the house*
***
Fuujin: Sarafu, I'm sure Quatre and Wufei will be back soon…
Sarafu: Quatre...please come home...
Fuujin: He will
Sarafu: *looks at Fuujin* Ya really think so?
Fuujin: I know so. They always come back…
Sarafu: *laying on couch* ...Quatre...
Fuujin: It's okay. He'll be back any second now…
To Be Continued…^_^
Author's Note: No, Sarafu and I do not own any of the GW characters. I own Fuujin, and Sarafu owns Sarafu (no duh!). Remember, this was made to make people laugh. If you are offended by any of this material, send your flames to chocoboviii@aol.com ! If you have any compliments, send them to chocoboviii@aol.com or fuujin_15@yahoo.com ! ^_^ Stay sweet, peoples!