AUTHOR'S NOTE: I don't own Slayers, but I call my car the "Mazoku Mobile" ^_^
Xelloss ... The Gas Attendant?
By: Kelly M. Maraglia
The sun shone brightly on a typical Friday afternoon, as Lina Inverse drove her red Ferrari into the gas station.
"Where the hell am I? What is this weird thing I'm in and how do I know how to steer it?" She spoke to herself in a panic. Then she looked down at herself. "And WHO changed my clothes?" She started screaming, noting her usual costume replaced by jeans and a t-shirt.
Lina rolled down her window and asked the attendant, "Fill it up with premium, please."
The attendant nodded and smiled at her. That smile seemed oddly familiar. He filled her gas tank, she paid him, and she drove off and right into the Burger King Drive-Thru.
The next car to enter the gas station was actually a giant blue four wheeler. Gourry yelled down from the window.
"Hey! Fill it up Dude! This thing's cool!" Gourry turned his radio up louder, listening to "Surfin' USA." The gas attendant smiled again and complied. Gourry paid him and drove off toward the beach singing at the top of his lungs.
The next car that drove in was a dark blue convertible mustang. Zelgadiss rolled down the window and asked stiffly, "Fill it up with regular unleaded please." The attendant smiled, taking his time. Zelgadiss began rapping his hands on the steering wheel. He was obviously in a hurry but did not want anyone to think that. Finally, the tank was filled. He paid for his gas, gave the attendant a nasty look for taking so long and drove at neck-breaking speed toward the library to do some research.
Just then the most disgusting car drove into the station. It was a hot pink bug with little hearts, flowers, and victory signs all over it. Amelia rolled down her window and asked for $10 unleaded. As it was filling up, the attendant spoke.
"Interesting car," He commented trying not to gag.
"Yes it is! I'm trying to get Mr. Zelgadiss to sit in it with me! Then it will truly earn the nickname 'Love Bug'!" She sighed with starry eyes.
"Won't Disney sue you for that? That wouldn't be 'just' would it?" The attendant smiled at Amelia's confusion.
"No. I suppose it wouldn't. I'll have to find another nickname, maybe 'The Bug of JUSTICE!" With that, she paid him and drove away, making up a speech to go with her car.
The last car to drive up that day with a bright yellow Mercury Tracer with, oddly enough, a tail in the back. The tail also had a pink bow on it which made it all the weirder. Filia took great pains to tell how much gas she wanted while trying to keep Baby Val quiet. As the gas attendant started to fill Filia's tank, she looked at him funny.
"Do I know you?" She asked.
"Perhaps we met in another life." The gas attendant replied.
"What's your name?" She asked as she paid him and got her change.
"It's a secret." ^_~ He replied, shaking one finger.
Filia drove off with a bad feeling.
Next week, Lina, Gourry, Zel, Amelia, and Filia all showed up for gas at the same time. They arrived to find a large crowd bowing to the gas attendant they had met last week.
"What's going on?" Lina asked the nearest person to her.
"We must worship him, he who controls the world!" He replied and continued bowing.
Lina wasn't satisfied with his answer. She climbed up on the pedestal and faced the gas attendant.
"What's going on here?" She demanded to know. The gas attendant smiled as the other four joined her.
"I rule this world now. I control all the gas and so therefore this world and all its occupants now belong to me!" He smiled sinisterly.
"Who are you?" Filia asked.
"It's a secret." ^_~ Then the gas attendant lifted his head to reveal...
"XELLOSS," They all exclaimed. Suddenly....
Filia awoke screaming from her bed.
"What a crazy dream!" Was all she could say as the dream slowly faded into nothingness.
The point of this story? None. It just sounded funny. ^_^