How To Revive Aeris!

When you crash into Emerald Weapon under the ocean, before the battle starts click O for ten minutes. Then Emmy over there will say what the bleep are you waiting for? (Will say worse word for however long you click it for, 1mindaisy 2darth vader rules 5hell 20"f" word 100vote bush!) You are given these options:

I'm asleep; you're boring me... (Cid)
Waiting for someone to kill me. Isn't that the point of this stupid game? (Sephiroth)
Hidden option: Praying that Sephiroth doesn't see me! (Cloud)

If you choose the first option, Emerald will attack you in a fit of rage, jump out of the game destroy your house, kill Bush if you clicked that O button for 100 minutes and essentially destroy all time as we know it and Sephiroth will say "Isn't that my job?" although no ones around to see cuz we're all dead because of you. If you choose the second option, Cloud will kill Sephiroth, realizing that now he'll be in the lifestream with Aeris, if you catch my drift... and Cloud will kill himself to save Aeris. Two option come up after this:

Good ending
Bad ending

Good ending will be Cloud gets there to find Sephiroth hitting on Aeris and she kicks him in the you-know-whats and Cloud lives, well you can't call it living... but you know what i mean, happily ever after with Aeris and Tifa goes totally insane with getting her hands on anything to do with Cloud, including but not linited to his toenail clippings and underwear!

Bad ending will be Cloud arrives too late (hehehehe...) and kills himself in the Lifestream and you've totally screw up the game and shoot yourself because of your err.

Oh yeah the hidden option waaaaayyy up there: "Praying that Sephiroth doesn't see me! (Cloud)"

If you choose it Emerald will say that he knows Sephiroth and joins your party to "show you the way to him" but he's really a spy for Sephiroth, like Cait Sith for ShinRa. When you reach Safer Sephiroth (with Emmy in your party of course, or this process is useless). Emerald rejoins Sephiroth and they do the fusion dance from Dragon Ball Z (don't ask me how something with no arms or legs can dance, it's very akward to watch, ughhh). Then you fight, and possibly kill it if you're strong enough cuz Sephy's hp goes to 5,000,000,000 when they fuse and his level goes to 255. If you win, and that's a biiiiiggggggggggg if, when you face Sephiroth in your mind and beat him , Aeris's hand is coming out of that hole/portal thing, you grab her hand and yank it down, very hard, lol. Then you realize it is Tifa and you two fall into the Lifestream. You're given two options:

Realize it's the Lifestream and go look for Aeris (against Tifa's heartfelt desires)

Go completely insane, as in you in real life, and turn the game off, throw a fit and stomp up to your room and starve to death.

I chose #1, naturally. When you go look for Aeris, you realize Sephiroth's here too. Cloud thinks, Damn i have to kill him again! Two more options:

Give up

Keep looking know that Sephy could be anywhere, plotting your untimely ummm, well your already dead so there's nothing much he can do... except his evil laugh, yes that evil laugh, so creepy, yet totally cooler than Seymour's from FFXII.

The bubble really is that long. Give up means you go back to Tifa find her killed by Sephiroth and that theme from the wizard of Oz when the wicked witch of the east died plays and you hug Sephiroth, once again, proving Cloud's gayness (I mean, honestly, he was travelling with THREE girls at once... gawd he sucks...) and the game is, yet again, totally ruined which somehow will cause bush to die in an absurd way and all time will end...blah blah blah... If you choose the second, really long bubble then you find Aeris and Sephiroth has her back to the wall with his sword to her neck. You have two more options:

Call Aeris's name

Call Sephiroth's name

The second option will make Aeris shout: "What am i? Chopped liver?"

and Sephiroth kills her so you've just wasted probably about 16 hours of your life on this stupid thing. If you call Aeri-... waitaminute! I just realized when i did this: How can Aeris die a second time? Oh well stupid cheap game-glitch...gaahhhhhh! The FBI shows up and shoots you in the brain for somehow realizing that glitch and steals your wallet! How rude! I certainly would recommend the first option. Owwy.

The first option makes Aeris shout, Cloud you came! Thank Gaea, you came!

Sephiroth turns around and says: "So you'll fight to the death for the person you've recently met, but could not save the one you TRULY love!" is holding Tifa's head by the hair with her eyes open.

Cloud says "No, I never really liked her, she was kinda a stalker..."

Sephiroth: "..." shakes his head "Ok then... hahaha" he said while looking at Tifa's disemmbodied head "What a loser you must've been! Hahahahaha!"

He starts rolling on the floor laughing, I know, it was creepy when i watched it too, Sephy laughing out of joy? Yegghh! Sephiroth stands up an grabs his sword. Cloud fights him, only with a new limit, LIONHEART! OMG! When you click it, Squall magically appears outta nowhere and flies the Garden on top of him, and Sephy's arm is sticking out, twitching. The wizard of Oz thene plays and Squall starts killing the wiz of Oz munchkins. While Squall is on a murdurous rampage, Cloud and Aeris hug and Tifa's head starts screaming, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

In addition, they all died happily ever after,

THE END