I killed my partner.
There is no excuse or technicality for what I did, no possible way to change it either. Here one second, gone the next. And it's all my fault.
The guilt of it weighs heavily upon my black heart, clouding my mind and suffocating me slowly. I miss her. I love her, and I never told her. That's what hurts the most I guess. She had told me once, when she thought I was unconscious, that she loved me. Granted, I was doped up on pain killers and an IV since it was after a difficult fight with three kinshin, but I know I didn't imagine it. How could I? I thought my heart would burst, that I'd die from it beating too fast. But I was too scared to tell her just how much she meant to me. I know what it feels like to be abandoned, kicked when you were down, betrayed. Ha, I guess I was so worried about being betrayed again that I accidently did what I set out to avoid. Because of me, she's dead.
I guess that's where my story begins. Or ends. Maybe both. An end within a beginning, or a beginning within an end? She would help me answer these questions if she were here. She always had all the answers because her nose was always in a damn book. She was even reading on our way to that mission, the one that would be her last. My hands tremble at the thought of her hair falling into her eyes gently as she rested the book in her lap. I had criticized her too, for not mentally preparing herself for the battle. But she just "chopped" me and kept reading, a small smile lingering on her lips. Ugh, she drove me crazy. And I loved it.
But when the time came, and we were surrounded by what seemed like 100 kinshin, I faltered. I returned to my human form and started running. I yelled for her to run too, but they all converged on her. Blood sprayed the air, and I heard her scream my name. I tried yelling for her too, but my voice caught in my throat. I could no longer feel her soul.
From the first time we had ever resonated, I've had a grasp of her soul. I was able to feel her emotions, sense some of her thoughts, but the connection was suddenly torn. It hurt, a lot actually. Our souls being ripped apart was more excruciating than having my body sliced by Krona, in fact they couldn't be compared. This pain was physical, emotional, and mental all at the same time. I don't really remember much after the sudden absence of her soul. I know I passed out as soon as it happened, and I woke up in the infirmary surrounded by sallow faces, tiptoeing around the truth. They didn't have to say it though, I could sense it. "Your partner is dead." I could feel it, echoing within my now useless heart. Yes, the girl I love is dead, and it's all my fault.